When you look at those stats Rhon, about the rates of adultery etc. does it not hammer home the real truth
.....you cannot conceive of any mechanism that will totally prevent a lot of partners straying from the straight and narrow !! You can bluff, bully, cajole, threaten, intimidate either partner into fidelity...but sooner or later an opportunity could well present itself where somebody stumbles.
I am sure that all of us have these opportunities pass our way quite often...so why do we, or do we NOT succumb to the temptation
Morality hardly figures nowadays, I am told that adulterers can still go to Heaven, and apart from some of our more lunatic cultures, the Law or the Church wont execute you for it either.
Fear of the social stigma of getting caught and exposed to your peers is not much of a threat either.
Our modern children have become accepting of single parent families due to marriage breakups, usually via adultery.
Our Legal systems basically care only about the fiscal arrangements, not the moral ones.
So there are no deterrents..........only that of the desire of both parties to continue a monogamous relationship.
What I believe is that, free from "artificial" impediments, the human animal is reverting to type and behaving just as most, repeat most ,of the natural world behaves....ie monogamy is a human made condition that is unnatural....(yes, I know you can quote a few examples in nature of monogamous pairings, but these are a tiny statistical minority).
So live each day in the knowlege that the only thing that keeps us together is our basic desire to be with the other partner.....for as long as it suits each other's individual drives and needs....nothing can be guaranteed and all the rules, regulations and restrictions wont mean a fig if either party feels the need to stray.
I cannot agree that removing an active profile from CHNLove has any relevance to who either party could and will be-friend down the track...it is not the same thing. In these early days it represents only a single act of good faith...not a permission to then dictate how a Partner will run his or her life into the future relationship.
And finally to Zombie.........I also cannot see where any different morality or any different Man could have prevented your wife from "falling prey" to a scum-bag.........it was her choice, she weighed up the pros and cons and made a decision.....sadly you lost...but ultimately everybody lost. If there was zero need...she would have zero response to such an approach.
It is similar to the scammer issue we all face in International/Internet Dating.....if you never send money...you never get scammed and scammers cease to exist.
If there was never a need ( of whatever definition) for a partner to stray, then monogamy would rule and adultery would be just a theory...and not the very common reality we are seeing in our "modern" world.