My Gripe Box

[shaun]

My take is that he was being intentional in his attacks.  I thought he was trying to stir the pudding between David and me so I didn't post anymore.

It appeared to me that he knew way too much about some of us and he talked like he had been a part of the forum.  It would not surprise me at all to find out that he was a former member that had been banned.  And before anyone jumps to any conclusions I am not, I repeat am not suggesting that it was one person in particular.  There have been a few people banned from this site.

[Rhonald]

Your first post was (IMHO) contentious and inflammatory.

Next you decided that John 1964 was stupid

Since he has deleted his posts and I think, run away, I only can cut and paste this part I had from a personal letter to him: Personally, I think we should stay out of anyone's marriage.
 Now right after this John posted his comment & in Part : Hmmm, Stay out of anyone's marriage,, Once we are married there is no room for any friends , male or female??,

Zombie was refering to staying out of people's marriage to the part of Gerry saying that he was being asked to give advice on a marriage. It had nothing to do with making new friends or keeping old friends. He tried to shed light on what might be the Chines male viewpoint but it seems like, on his viewpoint he was gang tackled.

And Rob he did share information about his previous marriage. David's part: If there was zero need...she would have zero response to such an approach. I could see that someone could view the statement as a personal attack as in - if you were man enough, she would never had left you. Know I know that was not David's intent but I can see the reference.

It seems like Zombie has now left the fold and I think why am I defending him? My reason is because at other times I have seen our members here dissolve into emotional responses that flame the fans. Now I understand Willy likes a little flame, but I rather not see my stake over cooked but enjoy a medium rare steak.

[Rhonald]

My take is that he was being intentional in his attacks.  I thought he was trying to stir the pudding between David and me so I didn't post anymore.

Shaun, it shows how different people will have a different take. Now I agree that he could have been trying to rile David, but I did not see any of his posts directed at you. He did make a reference towards morality, but besides his rebuttal to John, his words were mainly directed to David.

I also agree that the thought crossed my mind that he might have joined to spark a response ie: my reference to jumping off the deep end, but if you wished to see if that was the case, more posts would have been needed.

I thought he had some valid points, but decided to quit to0 soon. So all that is left is just us blowing in the wind.

[Arnold]

There is always "quite" after the "storm", but sometimes it leaves a mess behind it!

I have kept an eye on the Storm from a safe place and like Shaun, I'm also pretty sure it was a former Member here. So I let it play out, as this was the "Gripe Box" after all.. and just to see where we are going with this. To get an idea, do we or not open a thread section where some can/will blow some steam off as was suggested earlier. We see this is not a good idea, what do we really gain or do we lose by it? It also wasn't the first time we tried this and it will simply not work, besides what information do we get out of it what this forum represents?

[Rhonald]

Sorry if my post offended you, but won't be posting again. I felt that DavidE was attacking me and being judgemental.

I removed all other posts, everybody happy

Would the former member be the type to submit an apology? If he has become more devious than YES

But I also have a strong feeling that it could have been someone new.

[Martin]

I have been holding my tongue, but Scottish Rob pointed out what I was thinking...and David E summed it all up nicely.  Zombie, I don't know who you are, but like David E said, you opened up a Pandora's Box, and we know nothing about you.  If you go through the different threads on this site, you will see that we all generally share something about ourselves here.  I get the feeling that maybe you have been on this site before..maybe under a different name?

[David E]

Yep, It was a gripe box after all. Nothing wrong with a gripe box if people dont descend to slinging off about personalities.

There are many, many differing points of view on this Forum about life, love and all such things and we have somehow managed to share so much without a huge amount of friction...good for us.

You can easily see on other Fora where the art of personal villification has been taken to dizzying heights and has become the only objective.

Each of us has a different perspective, a different style and whilst we disagree on many things, we dont just throw cr#p at the other members.
Each of us has shared a lot of special insights about our lives and our loves with the other Bros...we do this because we feel safe to do so, safe from ridicule and safe from abuse. Knowing that there is always some advice and info. forthcoming that may help...even though sometimes we dont like the advice !!!.

So gripe by all means...dont abuse.......

I have no wish to see Zombie , or any "new" member remove his/her posts and leave, but if Zombie was really interested in this Brotherhood, he/she would share someting with us, get to know us, and then could truly participate for everybody's benefit.

Just my 2 cents worth

[Martin]

Just my 2 cents worth

Soon, you are going to owe a lot of money.  Do you want my account number?

[Rhonald]

You need a firm GRIP Emotionly before you dare to GRIPE. And Martin you can take my two scents too on account that I am fuming.

[Willy The Londoner]

I get the feeling that maybe you have been on this site before..maybe under a different name?

Think your probably right Martin. Even his chosen name implies that as 'Zombie'  Which I guess is a person back from the dead!

Willy

Not sure how I came into this Rhonald?
'Now I understand Willy likes a little flame, but I rather not see my stake over cooked but enjoy a medium rare steak.'

But it was too high brow for me to get my head round.  I left it alone to you brainy ones.   Mind you, surely his IP would give an idea where he joined from?
 

[Rhonald]

Willy, you are the guy that says that sometimes it is a little too dry here as you do like to stir the pot. Heck I even made a trip to see you because of some previous pot stirring you did!

Maybe some of you who think I am attacking their country or their situations can now see the reason for it.  Some of my postings are an attack, but not on individuals or groups as such but an attack on apathy as a whole.   I just like to see this Forum active.

I actually thought his earlier comment thought provoking, enough so, that I discussed some of his meaning with my son. My son will turn 17 soon and at the time of my first marriage, he really liked my best friend. To be honest guys, some of your good weather comments about having no concerns on whom your wife will befriend and hang out with reflects a condition that violates reality. I might not be as blunt as Zombie, but since I have a son that is also learning from my misadventures, and as Philip has stated - I over think things too much - I try to trim the fat (from the male cow) over statements and seek the kernel of wisdom hidden away.

Now my son has made his peace with his mom's new boyfriend, since the two live together, but still his thoughts will have been shapened by events. I know I have changed in my outlook. I do not stop my wife from making new friends. She is a friendly outgoing woman. Her new business has her dealing mainly with ladies, but some men have expressed interest in her music teaching. But if an unmarried or even married male friend/student/ or teacher keeps asking her out for a dinner (just the two of them)..... comes to a point were good weather comments need an umbrella.

[Scottish_Robbie]

Rhonald I too suffered the indignity of losing my wife to my best friends 'brother in law'.  She had male friends as I had female friends. NEVER in a month of Sundays did I ever think she would cheat on me.

Now any relationship I get into (cough cough  ) I will STILL  not stop my partner from having male friends...
I do not think it is healthy or wise in a relationship to try and stop your partner from having friends from the opposite sex

To stop them would be to destroy a possible GOOD relationship

[maxx]

Zombie Ip address is from San Fransisco

[Rhonald]

To stop them would be to destroy a possible GOOD relationship

It's not the stopping of friendship that I am directing my stance at. It is the seriousness of it. Instead, lets turn it around and think we are that single male making a friendship with a married woman, let us say a co-worker. Now if I valued her, I would also know that rumors can tarnish a person's reputation. Now if I had two tickets to some show, I would not think it right to ask her to the show. If she was single, sure. So a woman's marital status I think affects how you deal with them.

So if my wife's friend, to me, did not consider this in his dealings with her, I would force an issue. My wife's clientele are all in the Chinese community so how deep can discreation matter even if nothing sinister is at play?

On a side note - my wife received today 24 of the instruments she plays. She says the money is in the selling, not the teaching. Originally she wanted to buy 40, but I had to hold her back. With her original trip here, she sold 3 of the 7 instruments she brought with her. I rather start conservative and told her that until we get a feel for the market, better start slow.

[Rhonald]

Thinking that this is a gripe box and I mentioned about my wife's shipment of guzhengs, I do have something to gripe at.

Being our first major shipment for commercial purposes, we had the fun of getting all the proper licenses and paying fees before customs would release the goods in Vancover for delievery to Calgary. Well I could apply online to get our import business license that we forwarded to our broker to forward to customs. I travelled to the company's office and paid the shipping fees, also through them the customs duty and sales tax.

That afternoon we received the email from our broker saying that she had good news and bad news. The good news was that customs released our goods. The bad news was that they charged us a shipment inspection fee 

I can't wait for this philosophy to catch on. Imagine the police pulling you over for a Breathalyzer test and charge you a fee, or if Airport security had an extra fee because they decide to do a closer check on your luggage.