Author Topic: Could be good...or not !!  (Read 6400 times)

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Offline jimmysilk

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Re: Could be good...or not !!
« Reply #15 on: March 20, 2012, 06:12:49 pm »
Unreal David,seems a good thing to me,you may have to retrain your'self in the housekeeping department though ;D

Arnold

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Re: Could be good...or not !!
« Reply #16 on: March 20, 2012, 11:44:54 pm »
Well actually you and myself have now seen the same side of the Coin. It has flipped from the most wonderful times, to now we need to share our lovely Ladys/Wife with the rest of the World. I had my thought wrapped around this as soon as Qing started working. It was not too bad at first ( 2 day's/5 hours each a week ), but it had come to where I disliked it. Four to five day's and mostly at night, til 11pm to boot. The two classes are during my working hours, so no problem for "Me". My poor LaoPo though, has too much on her plate.. where I wanted to intervene and get her days cut.. so she can pay more attention to her schooling (GED).
Am I selfish for this? I don't think so, of course I want to be with her more hours of the day.. but also see her juggleing too much now. I don't like to see her this way and I'm sure David doesn't like it going that way either. one can let go, but control or get control of how many hours are going into this Schooling for your Ming. You definitely have a saying in that department.. I hope you do for your sake. haha

Offline David E

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Re: Could be good...or not !!
« Reply #17 on: March 21, 2012, 06:48:11 pm »
Yes Arnold, it is a tricky situation all round.

I have no problems with Ming interacting with many new people, in fact I encourage and welcome this, it all helps with her integration and appreciation of her new life in Aus.

But by the time she has continued with her formal schooling towards Certificate 4 in English, taught Chinese Students for 12 hours each week, done both her homework for the Certificate and done her home preparation for the lessons...plus all the other chores she feels compelled to do...she is pretty well knackered (Aus translation = very tired !!)

I have managed to cope with the housework myself (I have hired a cleaning Lady   ;D ;D  !!!!) and I do my share of cooking (because I love to cook !!), but that still leaves her with one heck of a workload, whereas my original plan was for her to have an easy life...just her and me enjoying life, without any pressure.

I could stomp my foot and say "Stop" and in her Chinese way she would obey her LG...but I sure dont want to go down that track....

I guess we will just let things happen and I will carefully watch to see if she gets too stressed and tired. But I must give her support to have a go at this, because I know she gets immense pleasure (and face) by feeling her new self-worth in her new Country.

Watch this space !!!

Arnold

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Re: Could be good...or not !!
« Reply #18 on: March 21, 2012, 07:20:36 pm »
.......... because I know she gets immense pleasure (and face) by feeling her new self-worth in her new Country.

isn't that what it's all about? "Face".. now where did I hear that before? I think we by now have a feeling ( with our age  :) ) for what is best for our LaoPo's and ourselves of course. It's like "Fishing"! Hook the "BIG" one, one can start to reel it in.. but also must let it go out to avoid the line to snap and come up with empty hands.

Offline Martin

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Re: Could be good...or not !!
« Reply #19 on: March 21, 2012, 09:19:59 pm »
Watch this space !!!

I keep watching, but nothing seems to be happening!  How long should I keep watching?

Offline shaun

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Re: Could be good...or not !!
« Reply #20 on: March 21, 2012, 09:27:19 pm »
Don't look away Martin, you might miss it.

Offline Willy The Londoner

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Re: Could be good...or not !!
« Reply #21 on: March 22, 2012, 01:05:52 am »
David you are not going to change thousands of years of Chinese culture. 

I know what you mean about how you wanted her to take things easy with you. But that is not the way it is going to happen.  Only in the TV programmes do I see Chinese woman lazing around doing nothing and these are the ones that are always shown as getting their come uppence by the end.  Doing nothing is not an option for them.

YouYuan has now taken over looking after the neice's baby full time.  In the past couple of weeks I now see her less during the day and she is so tired at times.  BUT she is happy and in my book that comes first.  She is doing something she loves to do and I am sure she would do it whether she was paid or not. 

Willy

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Offline Clayton

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Re: Could be good...or not !!
« Reply #22 on: March 22, 2012, 07:24:33 am »
Thanks you blokes, this is valuable infomation for us who are still waiting for our wives to arrive.
I think it will save us a lot of "face" and embarrassment in future situations.
I was of the same opinion as David E, The only job i wanted my wife to have was to learn English and we would do some traveling and basically do what retired people do.  Now I'll be prepared to go with the flow, what ever that is.
I know my wife is keen to do something but i did not want her to work full time so we'll have to see what happens

Cheers
Leeroy
This is the way to go

Offline Scottish_Robbie

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Re: Could be good...or not !!
« Reply #23 on: March 22, 2012, 09:06:49 am »
Clayton not being married to a chinese lady, but spent a few glorious weeks with one. I think 'their' full time work and 'our' full time work are different ;D ;D As you well know....Their workday starts as soon asd their eyes are open in the morning, and doesnt really end until the eyes are closed at night, whatever time bed time comes around ;D
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts" Winston Churchill

Offline David E

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Re: Could be good...or not !!
« Reply #24 on: March 22, 2012, 06:35:21 pm »
Martin

Keep watching...I could have a further riveting update in a few days.... ;D ;D ;D

Offline Willy The Londoner

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Re: Could be good...or not !!
« Reply #25 on: March 23, 2012, 05:28:36 am »
Martin

Keep watching...I could have a further riveting update in a few days.... ;D ;D ;D

Thats Great David. I am really into metal working. Never tried riveting but looking forward to an update.

Willy
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Offline David K

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Re: Could be good...or not !!
« Reply #26 on: June 05, 2012, 08:24:34 pm »
Willy...I take your point, it is very likely I will depart this mortal coil long before Ming, so it is important that she has the means and opportunity for a good life in Aus when I am gone, or also has the flexibility to go back to China with enough money and skills (English) to have a decent life thereafter......that is clearly my responsibility to facilitate.....and one which I accept without question.

I have a similar situation to you David..
My response has been to become an IELTS tutor, so her English ramps up to speed quickly,
and to import her 20 yo Son to NZ ( he arrives in 2 weeks) so she has family here, should I be
called upon to vacate the body on short notice   :-)
Nothing Real can be threatened; nothing unreal exists