Prenuptial Agreements

[shaun]

If I am reading things correctly then I think Willy read a survey that quoted the statistics and he compared them to what the men are going through on this site.  Then he mixed in a healthy jab toward his American buddies for fun and we have a healthy topic going on.

I don't think we know enough about the men on this site to know if the statistics are equal.  So many have left as others have said.  It would be nice to hear from the others and see how their relationships are going, not solely for this thread but we all have a keen interest in seeing how well others are doing.

When it comes to matrimony it is a crap shoot for all of us.  I was married for 27 years before it hit the fan.  I could blame it all on her but I take part of the blame too.  I had a female friend here locally who is a widow from Hong Kong.  She is all of 33 and we talked weekly, as friends only, about China, Hong Kong, America, business, and the list goes on.  She seemed to be a very nice woman and she worked in a store owned by a woman from the Philippines.  Two weeks ago she ran off with another man and a little more than half of the stores inventory.  He house had sold and she had been planning this for a long time.  All of us that knew here were shocked.  No one saw this coming.  I shared this story to say that you never know what people will do.  Did it happen because she is Asian?  No.  It happens all around the world all of the time.

Yes divorce in America is at 50% but I read somewhere that it is the same in China. 

Face it.  We all take a risk when we marry.  The statistics show that second marriages ending in divorce is about 75%.   Now add to that we are choosing to marry a woman from a different ethnic and culture group and the statistics are even greater.  But we are all choosing to make that choice.

I like the following saying.  "Insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting a different outcome."

In memory of the infamous play by the Fireside Theatre, I'll say, "I Think we are all Bozos on this Bus."

Another thought on this; http://youtu.be/4F-jeIdQwKY

[Robertt S]

  Sometimes I think people insist on pre-nups just to convince themselves and their relatives that their future wife does not care about his resources. If you are that worried to begin with then let me terrify you, a true gold-digger or a woman marrying just for a green card will wear you and your lawyers ass out with a well planned and executed VAWA case. If you are lucky, when all is said and done, you are not jailed and labeled a wife beater or sexual predator requiring you to register with authorities ( regardless of whether you did or did not ) and guess what that pre-nup will most likely be tossed aside by the judge. Anyway, on the lighter side here is a pre-nup for you red-necks out there( I am not going to mention any names in particular because you know who you are);

Bubba's Handy Dandy Prenuptial Agreement:

This here is a potential legal document that ought to be taken serious. It just might be binding in a court of law iffin' it is signed and dated by both parties and yer lawyer.

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For The Man o' The House:

What's mine is mine and that means a wife don't touch, don't snoop through, and by all means don't tell the locals what all we gots and ain't gots.

Property: All buildings, shacks, trailers, sheds, motorized transportation, land, huntin' tools, corn stills, and animals are to stay in the possession of the Man o' The House iffin' the woman goes a wandering off playing in another's pasture.

Child Support: Iffin' they don't look like me, I ain't supporting 'em in the event the wife partakes in wandering off the marital property.

Money: The Man o' The House earns it so he gets to keep it. 'Nough said!

Mother In Law Rules: Must abide by the 500 mile restraining order that will be taken out upon the day of the marriage. Postal mail will be permitted if weekly financial assistance is abided by.

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For The Little Woman:

Iffin' you came into this marriage with clothes on your back and kids from yer previous marriage you get to keep 'em.

Housework: You agree to keep a lookin' good, cook, clean, tend to the land, garden, livestock, keep repairs up on the homestead, and be aimin' to please yer man at the drop of a dime.

Man o' The House Signature:___________________________ Date: _____________

Little Woman's Signature: _____________________________ Date: _____________

Lawyer Signature: ____________________________________ Date: _____________



( for entertainment purpose only. Could result in a lump on yer head, black eye, tender groin, and endless lonely nights if yer crazy enough to hand it to yer woman to read... or worse, to sign it.

[Martin]

Hmmm...what's wrong with that Pre-Nup?

[Robertt S]

Check out this pre-nup. I can't believe she signed it myself!     http://www.thesmokinggun.com/file/marital-agreement

[john1964]

Rhonald, This person that i refer too is actually a long time member here but is a small time poster, He was duped by a gold digger but has not lost sight in looking for a Chinese wife,I actually met him in Handan back in December when he met up with one of my wife's friends, He is looking in to a prenuptial agreement if he does find another wife from China, John.

[Willy The Londoner]

John his experience would be ideal example for this Forum.   Maybe those who have had bad experience and wish to stay anonymous can post the good or bad experiences via a Mod who will know it ias from a genuine source.

Willy

[john1964]

Good idea Willy, I will ask this member if he wishes to do so via a moderator, John.

[Pineau]

Thanks guys for the advice and the information. I talk with quite a few ladies and most of the time they turn out to be fake, gold diggers or totally desperate looking for a husband before it is too late. I feel really sorry for some of them especially this one.  She was so sad about the breakup with her fiance. She had been in a relationship with him for over two years and she nearly had the VISA. All that was left was the interview. When he surprised her with the prenum it just devastated her. She was so convinced they were in love and were going to live a happy life together. She also told me this is not the first time. She had another relationship with an American a few years before this one and had the VISA in her hand when she realized she was going to give up everything for him and if he changed his mind later she would forfeit everything. So she returned the VISA to the embassy and broke up with him. Her mother is fed up with foreigners too. She said she will kill herself if her daughter marries one.

[Arnold]

Sad..sad for this Lady! I can see now, how much more we are in "Favour" as American Men.. to her circle of Family and Friends. Thanks a million to those two nice Guys to keep spreading our Kindness/Loving/Gentleness of ways to all those Chinese Women. Maybe we should start in other Countries as well.. oh we did this already.. as they now shy away from "Foreigners" as a whole which means of course all westerners. These Men should get a Metal for standing their ground, while stepping on ours.

[Pineau]

For Lack of a better place to put this I am sticking it here. Another lady has just contacted me asking for help with a VISA.  I have known her for a long time and we have had many conversations about life, husbands, China and politics.  I never thought she would marry again but she surprised me and came up with an American usband last year.

I am not sure what she is asking but it is Something about her husband's sister decided not to be a co sponsor so she needs help with the AOS co sponsor paperwork. I have no idea how to do this.
So I am posting it here and also sending her to issoga.com website for more help.

Hi Gerry, i used the chat room here,seems it didn't work.How have you been? I told you I had done for visa to usa when we chatted on QQ. But i can't find you on my list.

I was very busy cuz my husband have been sick long time. I used all my free time company with him 10 days ago, no fee time for myself. He back NY for his sick from last week. I have nothing to do only worried him. His sister is very rich, but won't join guarantee for me and my son i think. They had done a little by a lawyer ,but now my husband's sick very heavy, so i want to find another to support us, don't need his sister's help. so want to ask you how to do it. I have no american laywer to ask, so asked you. would you tell me if you know? Thanks very much!

[maxx]

Gerry yes she is looking for a cosponsor.What a cosponsor is.Is somebody who will guarantee that they will pay the bills for the lady and her kid.Once they arrive in the U.S.If her husband doesn't make enough money to meet the minimum poverty level in the U.S. For a wife and a kid your looking at about 25,000 a year.

This is something that the husband usually arranges.Back when I did the paperwork for my wife's visa.The cosponsor could be anybody.Immigration has changed the rules.A cosponsor must be one of the husbands, family members.

[David K]

PS - John I am probably the oldest member in age on this forum so I still believe in old fashioned ethics... 

Maybe there is no connection between the age of the body and the age of the soul
(for want of a better word).
Some folks who've been around for a while suffer from hardening of the attitudes;
others retain the gift of lofty ideals in spite of all experience to the contrary.:-)
My dearest arrived in the country with all her worldly possessions in one suitcase..
whereas I have a house on a quarter acre pavlova paradise, with trimmings.

We do not have a prenup.
Nor would I insult what she brought to the relationship by asking for one  :-)
For with her came commitment, sensitivity, patience and love.
It took me some while to accept that she had committed her innermost being to 'us' -
- at the risk of being pulled up for lack of statistical evidence, I do think men
 are a lot less evolved in this area than woman -
and this has been a gradual and healing process, where I must remind myself
that appreciation is in order.

I also appreciate that nothing of this world can I take with me when I go,
so that in practical terms, she will be provided for. But that is small change
compared with the realisation that even in this world, shades of heaven are possible..

Peace
David K

[Willy The Londoner]

PS - John I am probably the oldest member in age on this forum so I still believe in old fashioned ethics... 

We do not have a prenup.
Nor would I insult what she brought to the relationship by asking for one  :-)
For with her came commitment, sensitivity, patience and love.
It took me some while to accept that she had committed her innermost being to 'us' -
- at the risk of being pulled up for lack of statistical evidence, I do think men
 are a lot less evolved in this area than woman -
and this has been a gradual and healing process, where I must remind myself
that appreciation is in order.

Nicely put Dave

Willy

[shaun]

My father told me once when contemplating marriage to a woman that he had mo plans of a prenup.  He said that his plan was to spend it all prior to leaving this world.  He just about did and he enjoyed the last years of his life.