For experience members who have used Chnluv and met actual ladies in China.....

[joss888]

Now that Chnluv(and I am aware of the large negatives) has shut off all ways to contact ladies without the emf's how would you now approach to meet someone in person without throwing useless emf's away on a person who may not exist or even be aware of your letters. For example..how long would you write and how many emf's should I limit myself to . (Not really the type of person that needs to write every day or evening even if free via QQ or skype). What would you think the most time from initial contact to visiting should be ...would you suggest just a letter a week until I can visit China at the end of the year ?
As usual thank you you for your advice ....would like to hear all of you ..it would indeed help my decision making process.
I am a professional, 37 years old. Happy in my life and career here in LA so not looking to relocate or settle down with a family just yet. Normal weight and height ! Looking for another like minded educated professional that will be able to transfer well to LA , I have found those hard to just meet on the street or in a pub or club in China.... perhaps I just went on the wrong night !
I was thinking of writing 3-4 ladies and then going to see if they are real at the end of the year ..maybe even November ...and to get some idea if their is any chemistry ...not really interested in writing for along time without meeting ..I am an experienced traveler in Asia ...not expecting to fall in love on the first or even second trip ...just want to find someone to concentrate on...not expecting to get intimate with on first trip ...looking for a good wife and a good lifetime companion ...I think that takes patience and a very large amount of luck to achieve .
Any thoughts or ideas would be welcome. And yes, I do search on the other familiar sites.
Thank you

 .

[Vince G]

Try video chat. if she speaks english? maybe you could drop in your email address/QQ.

[kiwisteve]

From my brief experience with Chnlove, it was 7 fakes (or agencies obstructing) to zero real ladies. And that was after filtering out dozens of obvious fakes before committing to sending them multiple EMFs. In all I spent less than $1000 over a period of 2 or 3 months before giving up there. Personally I wouldn't advise spending any money at all there, but if you feel it is working for you then try and get them onto private email, real-time chat, then webcam as soon as possible. If they won't for whatever reason (and there will be many reasons offered), then drop them after say 10 EMFs, making it clear well in advance to the translator that you will be doing so, and that they should try to encourage the lady into private communication in their own interest.

I found CLM to be  better, and CLL to be much better. I still found fakes, but writing to them over a period of months didn't cost anything, so it was easy enough to give them the benefit of the doubt over a reasonable period until they became obvious.

I found many genuine ladies through CLL as well as many more just from being online with QQ.

My fiancee was initially found on CLL, but as she was already used to QQ, we just progressed there immediately. In 5 months I have accumulated the equivalent of over 3000 A4 pages of chat logs with her alone. After 3 months I went to visit her and her family in China. We would be married now if it wasn't for my divorce not finalised yet. We are currently waiting for her visitor visa to be approved so she can visit me.

Planning to visit multiple women in one trip is not advisable - there are threads here on that. That was my plan originally too, but when it became clear that there was chemistry between us, I cancelled meeting the others. It would probably have been worse for them to have dated and then been dropped afterwards. It was hard enough telling them it was over via QQ after a long period of comunication. If you can get a shortlist on QQ soonest, then it becomes quicker to narrow it down to just one without leading them all on for many months.


Best of luck,
Steve

[joss888]

Thank you Steve ....Great reply ..you have given me some questions that I need to answer ...Do the girls usually have expectations of marriage if you meet them ...? Perhaps I am being somewhat careful ..but until you meet how can you really take a leap to marriage just upon emails .ym's and chats ...? I noticed here at this small group there seems to be quite a lot of divorces and crash and burn Chinese -foreigner relationships and marriages. With a few going for the second time...I suspect I am rather divorce adverse and would like to err on the side of caution . I would find it very difficult to tell any person that I was in love without first meeting . Any other thoughts from you would be appreciated .
So it is usual to add a note to the emf's directed to the translators?

[maxx]

I wrote to my wife for 2 months.Then I went to China to meet her.I have seen some of these guys write to there ladies for up to 2 years.I know one member here who wrote to his wife for 1 year then went to see her.He is the only person I know who wrote that long.And still made it work.I think the most you should write to the lady is 3 months.Then you need to get on the plane and find out if it is for real..

What you mite also try.Is see if this lady is on a different web site.Sometimes Chnalove posts these ladies profiles on other sites.Trying to get the lady more exposure.Ive heard of a couple of guys.Who have found there ladies on other web sites.And have success at communicating directly with the lady.There is half a dozen web sites out there who deal with only Asian ladies.So If I was you.I would skim threw these web sites and see if you can't find her profile.

If all of this doesn't suite you.Send me your information in a Pm.I can hook you up with my sister in law.She speaks A little English and is a couple of years younger then you.Her profile is posted on this website.Her name is Haixia .If that still doesn't suite you.Robert Snellgrove.Has a web site.Where Robert or another member here can vouch for the lady.So talk to him he can probably point you in the right direction.

If you are really hooked into meeting this lady.The first thing you probably need to do is get QQ every Chinese woman in the world has probably got a QQ account.My 66 year old mother in law has like 3 QQ accounts.My wife has 3.My sister in law has 2.So that would be a good place to start.Somebody posted a link to it on this web site.But I can't remember where it is.I'm sure somebody will post after me with the correct link.

Good luck.
Maxx

[David E]

I can only endorse what is being said here....CHNLove is probably NOT the best place to meet your future partner.

I went down this track for nearly 3 years and was not happy with the situation. Taking advice from experienced Bros here, I tried Blossom and CLL.

What a difference !!!!!!!

On CLL the exchanging of QQ and Email addresses is easy and virtually instant......and a lot cheaper.

When you make contact with likely Ladies, it is likely better to make a visit as soon as poss. Yes you are correct, Chinese Women have expectations of marriage if you go to visit them, but they are also realistic and unless you get good chemistry they wont rush into a marriage. But you must remember that there are women in China who would do ANYTHING to get out into a new life. Your judgement has got to be working right....think with your real head    (not with the other one !!!!!)

[joss888]

Thank u all for the great concise advice..after spending a few hours again rereading the various thoughts and trip reports on this site I will spend another month to search ...get a few names and then start writing in August and plan to visit in November ..will be going for business on that one.So it will have to be just more of a meet and greet for a few days.
Always wanted to see the ice festival in Harbin so maybe a return trip in January to spend more time with one if I meet someone that we both have interest in. If not then I will continual the search ...I look at this as a 2 year search at least . Once I find someone special,  I will try to spend at least every 3 months together getting to know one another and traveling together while the process works it way out. 
I have always found out patience is always a real virtual. Will use my credits on Chnluv ...but will keep them on a tight leash and a rather short timeline from the start of initial emf's to booking a meeting with them in person. As  I search on  the other websites and starting the emf's process and going to visit .I suspect that will shake out the true interested ladies from the others.
I had a thought ...does anyone think that if I  set up an emails at yahoo.com..QQ and gmail.com that has the same headings and or addresses as my account on Chnluv. If they are really interested in me ..perhaps they will try to do some searching on the internet and try to contact me there.I don't know how curious they will be or how much time they would want to put into the search. For those who have natural born Chinese wives ...maybe you could ask if they think that would be of any help.Or am I just wasting my time ..

[kiwisteve]

Joss,

Marriage does seem to be pretty important to them. They also can talk about love very openly and early on, compared to Western women, in my limited experience. In my case my gf said she loved me within days of us chatting which was very unnerving at the time and the pressure was on me to respond the same. I told her I was cautious about love and that I did not believe in love at first sight, and it would take time for me to get to know someone really well first. However, it didn't take that long before I knew I was hooked, well before I went to China to meet her even. I treated my China trip as confirmation of that, and it did confirm our feelings, and more. She is not desperate to get married, and she does not really want to leave China. She has a great job, a great family and she loves her life there. However, she loves me (something I still find difficult to understand) and is prepared to move here to be with me.

As far as leaving notes for the agency translator, I don't know what others have done, but I occasionally put in a separate paragraph headed "to the translator" and included stuff there, like asking for private contact details, asking for original letters as well as the translation (didn't happen). In 2 cases I got the translator's email address so that I could ask them questions directly.

Steve

[Robertt S]

   When I built my site I did my best to make it user friendly and trustworthy. I check every registration form myself and trash any that do not seem right or are obviously scammers/spammers. I check IP's and e-mail address also. I have means to verify photographs if the members request verification of photos. I decided when I built this site that I would not do what many dating sites do and purchase profiles to populate my site and then weed the fake profiles out as real people join. When someone views your profile on my site all they see is what you want them to see, I keep all personal contact info off your profile. I discovered early that the agencies would send my a member who went through my site looking for personal e-mails or QQ numbers and then contact the person off the site. If someone wants your personal contact info they have to contact you through the site first and then you can decide if you want to give out the info. On my site you can send private messages through the site internal mail system or you can send a friend request. If someone is contacting you that you would rather not communicate with then you can block that member or report them, there are buttons for both of these actions. You can upload your own personal profile video if you want or upload your favorite videos, photos or music to share with the other members. The best thing about my site is the lack of agency interference and EMF's. I purchased a chat program with a translation module for my site that automatically translate any one of 51 languages into your native language, thus hopefully eliminating the need for an agency translator . The translator is not perfect, but I discovered through using EMF's the agency translators are sometimes less than accurate with their translation also. The very best benefit of my site is the cost ( FREE ), even translations. If you have only glanced at the site, then you should take some time and play around on there to discover every feature the site offers. Anyway to summarizes my positive features of my site is security features that can be requested (eg.  photograph verification, e-mail verification , IP verification and the member blocking/reporting system.  So if you are tired of worrying about fake profiles or buying expensive EMF's check us out at  http://www.xingfulove.com

Best Wishes and Good Luck, Robertt

[Robertt S]

Thank u all for the great concise advice..after spending a few hours again rereading the various thoughts and trip reports on this site I will spend another month to search ...get a few names and then start writing in August and plan to visit in November ..will be going for business on that one.So it will have to be just more of a meet and greet for a few days.
Always wanted to see the ice festival in Harbin so maybe a return trip in January to spend more time with one if I meet someone that we both have interest in. If not then I will continual the search ...I look at this as a 2 year search at least . Once I find someone special,  I will try to spend at least every 3 months together getting to know one another and traveling together while the process works it way out. 
I have always found out patience is always a real virtual. Will use my credits on Chnluv ...but will keep them on a tight leash and a rather short timeline from the start of initial emf's to booking a meeting with them in person. As  I search on  the other websites and starting the emf's process and going to visit .I suspect that will shake out the true interested ladies from the others.
I had a thought ...does anyone think that if I  set up an emails at yahoo.com..QQ and gmail.com that has the same headings and or addresses as my account on Chnluv. If they are really interested in me ..perhaps they will try to do some searching on the internet and try to contact me there.I don't know how curious they will be or how much time they would want to put into the search. For those who have natural born Chinese wives ...maybe you could ask if they think that would be of any help.Or am I just wasting my time ..

Joss888,  Most of the time the agency translator calls the lady on the telephone and delivers your message. The lady may respond with her reply immediately or call the translator back after she has time to consider her reply, so 95% of the time the lady rarely ever views your messages unless she goes to the agency office in person. The translators print out the messages and can edit any info out they want to! Someone mentioned checking other sites to see if she has a profile elsewhere, well they are correct in saying the agencies list the ladies on multiple sites for more exposure, but the agencies list the agencies contact info most of the time instead of the ladies contact info, so you are back to square one. Not all agencies are that controlling but many are, because they want to ensure that they will get paid in the end. Just take your time and ask the guys here if you have something that does not add up or you are just curious about something! Good Luck, Robertt                     

[Willy The Londoner]

. 
I have always found out patience is always a real virtual. Will use my credits on Chnluv ...but will keep them on a tight leash and a rather short timeline from the start of initial emf's to booking a meeting with them in person. As  I search on  the other websites and starting the emf's process and going to visit .I suspect that will shake out the true interested ladies from the others.

Do not forget that Chnlove Credits are now on a restricted time period.  Use them or lose them. I think it is six months.

Willy

[john1964]

Joss888, I am one of the lucky ones to have success on Chnlove, Met a lady in April 2010 and travelled to see her in September same year, Never back then had a problem with the agency, MinYing gave me her phone number freely with no problems, "maybe agencies forbid this now", We both had a good relationship with our translator and the translator even let us both use her personal E,MAIL address for a few difficult things, And now I can happily say that after 6 trips to China my wonderful wife has spent 3 months with me here in Australia and life is just wonderful, Do not get me wrong, I have spent a lot on EMF,S.
My wife never had a computer of her own and I never brought her one until my 3rd trip to China, After the 3rd trip, The EMF,S were finished, Still have a good relationship with the agency now.
After that trip we QQ,ED every night and continued every day until I went to bring her home.
Try QQ for yourself, Many wonderful women in China looking for a Western-man, Good luck. John.   

[Pineau]

Joss,

I met a lot of beautiful women on Chnlove. But I found out later that most of the really gorgeous ones are very much fake and/or the photos have been heavily photo-shopped.
I spent over $1000 on chnlove and was scammed 3 times (non existent ladies). I did finally meet one of the ladies in Shenyang and I want to tell you although she is a very nice lady she is as ugly as a mud fence.

My advice is to get the hell away from the hypnotic faces at Chnlove and go for someone maybe not a beauty queen but more down to earth. There are other places to meet ladies other than Chnlove and you are dealing direct with the lady from the very beginning and not trying to find a way around the agencies and translators. (like you are trying to do now) I used these sites.
http://www.chineselovelinks.com
http://www.chinalovematch.net

You usually get their private email , qq number, skype and cellphone number within 5 minutes of contacting them. After a couple of days you will know their dress and bra size and what kind of perfume they like. SO MUCH DIFFERENT THAN CHNLOVE.

After 3 months of searching these two websites I prepared a list of about 100 not so beautiful but VERY REAL ladies. After culling it down to about 20 I headed off to China in September of 2010 with a portfolio of names, phone number and photos. I Started in Beijing then Shenyang, Anshan, Fushun, Dalian, Guangzhou. In October I met My wife (number eight). I never got past Guangzhou. I have been here ever since...I would not trade the experience for anything and I would NEVER EVER use Chnlove again.

[Neil]

I wrote to a beautiful girl on Chnlove originally for 6 months.  I visited her twice, but it turned out that 99% of the letters we wrote were written by the translator.  I had to get to know someone completely different from who I thought she was.  In the end, it didn't work out.

I'd also suggest you stay away from Chnlove.  They are more trouble than they are worth, and the costs are not small at all. 

I met my wife on QQ, as a random add.  She was just a friend that I liked to chat with, until I realized that I really liked her.  I don't recommend searching for a wife/girlfriend on qq, but it's a great communication tool that nearly EVERY Chinese person uses.  I still use qq every day.  (I sure hope my wife can come home soon)

[Willy The Londoner]

Finding a wife is like buying a item on line.  You do not know what is in the package until you open the wrapping and have time to look carefully to see it it is as the advert said and that it is what you really wanted.  Do not let your heart overule your head, or should I remove the word 'heart' and add anothor piece of male anotomy.

As for my experience on Chnlove I spent no more than 20 or 30 dollars on Chnlove, I was lucky on two counts.

The first was that in those days there was no restrictions on what information you could freely receive.  Secondly I was in a position where I ran an online business and I could just up and move to China for 6 weeks to meet the lady I had spent a month or two talking with on a daily basis.

I arrived here in June 2009 and before the first week was out the lady and I realised that we were not meant to be but I found that I could run my internet site from here and I decided to take and apartment and stay a bit longer.  I have never returned to live in the UK.

In the first 4 months here I met many many women, where ever I went they wanted to know me.  I would say that it was my charm and good looks that did it.  But probably they looked at me and thought ' that old bugger must have a few dollars and he cannot have long to go.......'

In those first 4 months I met doctors, nurses, bank staff, shop staff, shop owners, accountants, business women both rich and poor, fell in love several times, had one rebutal that did effect me.

Then I went to another city for a day out, met a woman, courted her, really got to know here and 4 months later we was married and I have lived here ever since and have been treated better,  than I have ever been treated in the past, since then.

Just one word of warning for anyone embarking on this journey.  Do not think 'I can soon take her home' as easy as that.  Once you find your love then your trials and tribulations will then start.  Getting her to your own country can be a long drawn out affair and some on here have been trying for a several years to do that and still have not succeeded yet.   I have no idea how they manage to get through things.

All in all with the new restrictions they have imposed I cannot recommend anyone to use Chnlove.

Willy