Do you like Chinese people?

[shaun]

I had been speaking with a man who is going through a divorce and I thought something he said to me would make a good subject to discuss.

This man is married to a Korean woman and they are in their 40's.  They have been married about 12 years.  I know the man and his wife is a little more than an acquaintance.   He is distraught over the divorce because he loves her and she is divorcing him.

It seems that the main issue, according to him, is that he doesn't really like Asian people.  He doesn't like to visit or hang out with them.  He doesn't like her family but he loves her.  He doesn't want her hanging around with or have Asian friends.

It is kind of strange but it got me to thinking about mixed relationships.

I pose these questions to new people reading on this site.   If you are looking for a Chinese wife do you like hanging around with Chinese people?  Do you have Asian friends?  Do you expect your future wife to turn her back on her heritage?

If difficult for me to understand why a person would be like this.  Think about it before you make a stupid decision like the man I mention here.  You can't expect a woman to accept you hating her race.  You should never, never, never ask her to turn her back on her heritage.  You should make it possible for her to stay connected to her family and people from her country.  If you can't then go look for a woman somewhere else.

[Arnold]

Good point Shaun!

Being married for over four years now, I told my LaoPo.. the only thing she has got to turn 'Her" back to..  is "me". I think that's pretty fair of me.. right?

[Neil]

I have a good friend here, who is Chinese.  Unfortunately, she is young and pretty, so we don't hang out much any more.  Her uncle runs a hotel in town, and I love to visit with him.  William is his name.  William and Wendy (his wife) are wonderful people. 

My Chinese family back in China are all wonderful people.  I love to visit with them all.

Thinking about what you said, it would be pretty tough if my wife happened to not like western people.  I don't see that happening as she's very filial and is often concerned and interested in my family.  She's more concerned about me having female friends than having western friends I think.  haha

[lfputman3]

as a kid, I grew up in a mostly "white" community, we had one black family, but one of our doctors was Chinese. In the military and while studying in college/university, I had and now have asian friends, and yes, another Chinese doctor, whose wife is actually of Japanese heritage. Her grandmother returned to Japan a couple years ago, but she herself is Canadian.

In Korea, I had a Korean gf, and I remember the two biggest issues we had, #1, she told me we could never have kids, because she was a "pure blood" Korean and I was of "dirty blood". This would disgrace her family...    #2, she could outdrink everybody in my unit. This ability would have upset my family (the whole baptist factor).

Being of mixed ancestry and being told my father and my grandfather, "you are, but you are not, therefore, you must treat everyone equally. Don't trust them until they prove themselves."

As for being around Asians, I think the hardest thing for wife, being that Lansing is mixed bag of nuts, adjusting to having ethnic Japanese and ethinic Indians around. She's ok with Koreans, but like many here in China, she has a very negative view of Japan. She is also unsure of how she will react to "black people", this could pose a problem, I know it will take a little time and my doctor and his wife have said they will help her adjust, by helping her meet the other asians and learn that there is good and bad in each ethinic group. Most of the ethnic Japanese in America and Canada, if I'm not mistaken, were in the Americas prior to what Japan did in China. Their families anyway...   

In short, yes, I like asians, asian food, I know a few of the "good" restaraunts in town and I definately know the best asian grocery in town. I have forewarned my wife, that there are older Chinese who will "shun" her because she married a "round eye". She said she thinks she understands.

In the meantime, Shaun, next time you cook for your wife, I found the Chinese like Jambalaya and bread pudding. just remember to keep the "la" as a side condiment. my wife likes hot, mama don't...

Lloyd

[Willy The Londoner]

Its going be a long long time before the Chinese forget what the Japanese did to them. 

Everyday I can skim through the tv channels and find a programme depicting that conflict in all its gory details.

Maybe another generation or two they may forget but not for a while.   My wife's father is 87 now and he recalls how as a young boy he escaped from a Japanese raid and he watched from a distance as his parents and other villagers were buried in a mass grave and they had not the decency to have killed them first.  The TV industry plays on these occasions and will do so for a few more years to come.

Of course Japan does not accept that these things happened but when I see the tears brimming in an 87 year old's eyes I know different.

Willy

[maxx]

Willy has got this one right.There is no love between the Japanese and the Chinese.They have ben mortal enemies since time began.and Japan keeps it going by Denying they did anything wrong in WW 2 to the Chinese.I think it was back in 2003. The Japanese had a sex party in a hotel in Zhuhai.On the anniversary of the Japanese invasioan  of China.In 1931 There was 400 Japanese guys and 500 Chinese hookers.They stayed in the hotel for 3 days.They trashed the hotel.And stole everything that wasn't nailed down.

If I remember the story correctly the hotel manager was sacked.Then they filed criminal charges against him.He ended up going to jail.The Japanese men who attended the party.Have all had there China's visa's revoked.And the party orginizers wen't to a Chinese prison for a few years.

[lfputman3]

The other day, we were in a cab (taxi, for the non-yanks), the driver asked my wife where I was from. She told him I was an American, I served in the Army and I have family that fought in Korea, as well as family that fought in WW2, (after the cab ride I told her about uncle roy, my grandfather's brother and about his personal attempt after returning home from fighting Japan).

The driver said, being an American is fine. If I was Japanese or Korean, he'd have never let me in the car. The Japanese is obvious, the Korean part I was curious about. He said it was because, after all the misery Japan visited on the Koreans, they are now trying to make nice with them, without any apology for the abduction of the Korean Royal family, or the things they did to the Koreans, along with stripping the peninsula of it's resources. He said it had nothing to do with communist rhetoric, or the time his father spent fighting in Korea. It was purely about his view that the Koreans have just given up trying to get Japan to admit the truth.

I do distinctly remember, when I was in the RoK, in '95-96, if a girl had Japanese blood, the only work options she had were hooker, or sh*t shoveler. For boys, they typically didn't survive their first year in the military (mandatory service for those who didn't know).  US troops who were of Japanese heritage were advised to avoid going offbase, unless absolutely necessary. Then they should have several "buddies" along with them. So, I don't know if the wounds can heal that fast, or if the government is just trying to play nice for the sake of the UN.

I do know, I don't mention Japan outside the house. Unless I'm saying something either a) Truthful, or b) nasty.

Lloyd

[Willy The Londoner]

Willy has got this one right.There is no love between the Japanese and the Chinese.They have ben mortal enemies since time began.and Japan keeps it going by Denying they did anything wrong in WW 2 to the Chinese.I think it was back in 2003. The Japanese had a sex party in a hotel in Zhuhai.On the anniversary of the Japanese invasioan  of China.In 1931 There was 400 Japanese guys and 500 Chinese hookers.They stayed in the hotel for 3 days.They trashed the hotel.And stole everything that wasn't nailed down.

Yesterday the TV was full of reports of the 67th anniversary of Japan surrendering following WW2.  There was outcry when a couple of Japanese government members went to some schrine for the fallen Japanese war death, which also was a memorial to 16 convicted Japanese War Criminal.
There were scenes of Japanese Empourer and prime minister looking contrite.   But there is still a long way to go as at the same time there was a great deal of talk and TV Coverage about the tens of thousands of 'Comfort Women' of China and Korea that were forced to be prostitutes for Japanese Military. Some now are still alive albeit very old ladies but there stories live on.

To commemorate all this yesterday, a group of 16 Chinese from Hong Kong took a boat and occupied a disputed island that both China and Japan claim is there. 14 of those that landed on the deserted island were arrested by the Japanese and now Beijing has stepped into the argument.

There is still little love lost between the two Nations and many older ones here feel that the two atom bomb plus the earthquakes, including the last one with the Tsumani that killed thousands and that devastated a large area with radio activity are just punishments for the evil they committed in recent past.

Willy

[Pineau]

YOU'LL NEVER BE CHINESE.
by Mark Kitto / AUGUST 8, 2012 / 227 COMMENTS

http://www.prospectmagazine.co.uk/politics/mark-kitto-youll-never-be-chinese-leaving-china/

A lengthy article but well worth reading.

[lfputman3]

I'm just a little confused about the memorial for the convicted war criminals... I think this is where Germany got it right and Japan is the perverbial monkey with a football. I have known several Germans over the years (especialy in the military), if you even brought up the subject of the war criminals, they'll tell you they all got off easy, deserved worse and then ask you not to talk about it anymore.  So the Japanese builty a shrine??  What part of "Convicted" do they fail to understand. Everyone knows there was a whole more than those 16 who deserved to swing for what they did all over Asia and the Pacific. I was always told in Asia, if you are convicted of any crime, it is a blight upon your family, especially as far as face/honor/family social status are all concerned.

Oh, wait, I know, they were "railroaded" and the evidence was all faked. Yeah, sure, dream on.

YOU'LL NEVER BE CHINESE.
by Mark Kitto / AUGUST 8, 2012 / 227 COMMENTS

http://www.prospectmagazine.co.uk/politics/mark-kitto-youll-never-be-chinese-leaving-china/

A lengthy article but well worth reading.

you're right, interesting article, lengthy, but as I know have no classes to teach the rest of the time I'm here, I need something to read. And yeah, I definately agree on the "foreign" view the party pushes. As well, the one time I spoke with a group of university students here, they complained about the education system and stated, "testing is great for grades and university acceptance, but we don't know the job when we finish university." Granted, I've been seeing that with some of the "redesigned" college systems in the States.

[Arnold]

YOU'LL NEVER BE CHINESE.
by Mark Kitto / AUGUST 8, 2012 / 227 COMMENTS

http://www.prospectmagazine.co.uk/politics/mark-kitto-youll-never-be-chinese-leaving-china/

A lengthy article but well worth reading.

Great Article Gerry! Both Qing and I see it exactly like that. I can see now why she woundn't want us to live in China.. even if I had a good Job there. Her brother is starting to invest "His" money here in the US, because they don't trust their Gov.(Party) as far as they can throw a heavy stone.

[Willy The Londoner]

Great Article Gerry! Both Qing and I see it exactly like that. I can see now why she woundn't want us to live in China.. even if I had a good Job there. Her brother is starting to invest "His" money here in the US, because they don't trust their Gov.(Party) as far as they can throw a heavy stone.

The thing is that her brother and millions of others have money to invest whereas not many years ago they had nothing.  Every other home I visit is hooked up to the local stock market.  Brits look to invest elsewhere, Americans look to invest elsewhere.  The colour of a government is not important. The only colour anyone sees is green that is the grass is greener on the other side.

Willy

[Willy The Londoner]

http://www.prospectmagazine.co.uk/politics/mark-kitto-youll-never-be-chinese-leaving-china/

A lengthy article but well worth reading.

Well worth the read.  I know that I will never be Chinese butI am just happy to end my days in the way I have now found, how ever long or short that may be.! (I still supported the GB team in the Olympics  although I had a second affinity for Chinese team. ) I have 2 pensions that goes a long way here and it increases much in the same line as the Chinese inflation at present. I have no need to leave the country for a better life.  I have a better life now.  My wife has a better life now and her children are now able to visit and stay as and when they want.  She would not be happy to leave China.  I would not be happy to leave China. 

Willy

[lfputman3]

YOU'LL NEVER BE CHINESE.
by Mark Kitto / AUGUST 8, 2012 / 227 COMMENTS

http://www.prospectmagazine.co.uk/politics/mark-kitto-youll-never-be-chinese-leaving-china/

A lengthy article but well worth reading.

Great Article Gerry! Both Qing and I see it exactly like that. I can see now why she woundn't want us to live in China.. even if I had a good Job there. Her brother is starting to invest "His" money here in the US, because they don't trust their Gov.(Party) as far as they can throw a heavy stone.

I've asked my wife a couple times, if it would be easier for me to work here and us live here. She vehemently has said no. The topic usually comes up after a round of her friends grilling about how many things she's not going to have and how there are no Chinese people where I live. They stopped saying there was no mahjong (yes, she plays, one or two nights a week) and I said no problem, between the Chinese, Koreans, Hmong and the Old Jewish ladies, there's enough garage games to go around.

I know our teashop is gonna be a small magnet business for the local Chinese, as my doctor back home already said, the locals (local Chinese-Americans) are anxious to have a real tea shop, that has real servers, who perform real Chayi...   
I've also told her the shop can have a table (mahjong), but there can be no money in site, it's a "cultural bridge", that makes the wife extra happy.

Lloyd

[Pineau]

Now this is really weird an I never would have thought it was possible in a newborn baby. But  are they racist???


It's not a mystery why you treat attractive people well now: You want them to have your sex. There'd be no reason to discriminate against ugly chicks when you where a baby right? Wrong. It turns out you've been favoring hotties since the doctor smacked you. In a 2004 study in the field of weird-shit-we-can-make-babies-do, a UK scientist made several babies look at two pictures. One of those pictures was of an attractive woman, and the other was of a non-attractive woman. Out of these babies (all of seven-days old, max), almost 100 percent looked significantly longer at pictures of "attractive" people than "unattractive" people.

But it doesn't end there. In those first months, babies would look at an attractive person of another race for just as long as an equally hot person of their race. But within a few short months, even if shown a supermodel of a different skin color, the baby would ignore her completely. If a white baby was shown two pictures of Asian people, of any level of attractiveness, the baby would look at them the same amount of time, then get bored and look away. To that white baby, Asian people all look alike. Seriously.


From an article Evil Things Babies Are Capable Of