being able to meet my lady...

[vincent]

i don't know what to do or say so im just going to say it,  need help in being able to seeing and every thing else & ill explain here. i met the girl of my dreams about 5 months ago on a sight called Asian-Girls-Online. about a month ago they did some stuff , which i wont go into right now, which made me & my girl come to Chnlove ,her idea. now i got her email & her phone number to call her but i guess calling her cost her (when she answers my calls). & emailing is hard to do cause she can only answer them when she at the agency & from what i understand they don't like her answering her emails there in fact she has got in a lot of trouble in doing so. i know she is real cause i was able to See her when we were on Asian-Girls-Online ( i could see her but she couldn't see me, just the way that sight is setup) & iv talked to her & heard her voice ( i even called her while on the video/web cam) so i know she is 100% real. i don't make a lot of money & using the sight gets expensive.  i don't know what to do, i know iv only known her for 5 months but i feel like iv known her for years. i love this girl & i feel like im letting her down cause i cant do more to talk to her & be with her, she says she understands but still... talking to her just on weekends for only a few hours just isn't enough for me or her. i don't know what to do who to go to for help, id give everything up for my girl. i try to be a strong man but this is bringing me to my knees. i need help, can someone please help me rather it be advice or what.. i just dont know what to do ...

[Robertt S]

vincent,
    I would be wary about the move to ChnLove being her idea. I have heard of agencies listing their clients on many free sites and after men answer and become emotionally involved then suddenly have to use ChnLove. The free sites are used for reaching a broader base of men who prefer to use free or inexpensive sites. This is basically a form of bait and switch, because any communication on ChnLove will cost you. I am not saying this is your case, but I would be very cautious! If you and her want a simple and effective method then you both should use QQ, but I suspect that if your are dealing with an agency/translator she will find many reasons why she can not use QQ also. I have a site myself that has options that allow people to communicate free of charge also so I know there is many options available if she truly wants to communicate directly! The international version of QQ has a translator for chatting that actually does a decent job and web cam with audio capabilities also.  Here is the link for QQ international    http://www.imqq.com/          Best Wishes and Good Luck,   Robertt

[David E]

Sorry Vincent

But I have to agree with Robert's comments, it is very likely that you have been "conned" into moving this "relationship" to CHNLove because that way they can squeeze you for more money.

It is absolutely essential that you get to comminicate with your Lady on QQ..it is easy and it is free.

If there are any reasons why she WONT talk to you on QQ...

then Run Forest, run.

[vincent]

Now just so you know, she don't have her own computer she is only able to use the agency computer & well they probably watchwhat goes on... idk, ill try your suggestion but i don't have much hope. i just hope that im not talking to a agency/translator, cause it will not end well for me, sad to say. & really i don't trust her agency, i trust her but not the agency.. is there any way they could be using her in any way? i dont know how to explain it, its just a feeling..

[Robertt S]

Now just so you know, she don't have her own computer she is only able to use the agency computer & well they probably watchwhat goes on... idk, ill try your suggestion but i don't have much hope. i just hope that im not talking to a agency/translator, cause it will not end well for me, sad to say. & really i don't trust her agency, i trust her but not the agency.. is there any way they could be using her in any way? i dont know how to explain it, its just a feeling..

vincent,
   It is very, very, very likely your lady has a contract with this agency. If she does they will control every aspect of your communication with her because they have money riding on this. If the ladies actually had your contact information they could easily bypass the agency so I really doubt this lady has your contact info. Just because you give your e-mail/contact info to the agency or include it in a letter doe not mean they will give it to her. Their job is to get you to China to meet her and hopefully marry. Most agencies charge a meeting or Introduction fee when you go to China to meet your lady and they charge a marriage fee which is usually the balance of her initial contract fee when you get married. To be perfectly honest the agencies are in the translation and matchmaking business, they normally do not allow the women to use or borrow their computers because they charge for letters or EMFs in both directions. I would think your lady knows someone other than the agency that has a computer, so it is most likely the agency translator handing you the line about not having a computer. Sadly, they have you by the short ones if you know what I mean! The only fool-proof method is to buy a ticket and go to China and meet this gal or continue paying EMFs to communicate. The agencies make money for EMFs and I doubt they will lose that profit by giving you unsupervised access to their client! If you are serious about this gal and you think she is serious about you, then get on a plane and go as soon as possible! The sooner the better, that way you will ease your own mind and also save a small fortune in EMFs fees. You can threaten the agency with refusing to continue communicating, personally I think the agencies could care less because their is no way for you to know if you are the only person writing her ( with or without her knowledge ) . What agency is she listed with, we have a thread here about member's experiences with various agencies throughout China, so check it out and see if any other members are or have used that agency before!  Regards, Robertt

[shaun]

Vincent I've noticed with Chinese women that where there is a will there is a way.  I can guarantee that she know someone who has a computer who has a little cupid in her heart that she can use.   When my wife's computer was down and a  neighbor would let Peggy use hers when she was at work.  Now her computer is working again.

Also almost every woman in China uses QQ even on their cell phone.

I hate to say it but personally I smell a rat and if I am right you will be met by nothing but stonewalling.  They are banking on your naivety it that is the case.  I hope I am wrong but those are my thoughts.

There are many sites where you can find women who are more than willing to talk to you.  Robert Snellgrove has a very good one and he verifies everyone to be sure they are legit.  There are many other sites.  Most of us started with chnlove only to be burned by them.  I found my wife on blossoms.com but even there you have to be careful.

Good Luck.

[Pineau]

Vincent,

If she does not have computer. (I have heard that one many times) chances are she has a friend or the friend of a friend that has a computer. If she cares anything at all about you she will make an effort to save you some dough and she will make every effort to see you on camera.

Look, this woman wants to be your future spouse. Her other half, her partner for life. Right? If that is the case then she would not do anything and everything possible to hasten your marital union. Right?  If she is truly looking for a husband then NOTHING will stop her or slow her down. Except for maybe the agency she is working with.   

Shake out the cobwebs and put your thinking cap on. Give it some real analytic thought. Ask yourself the hard questions about her, the relationship so far and why it is not progressing a quickly as a "real" relationship should. Answer the questions yourself and do not share them with her.   Your post here  is full of her excuses on how NOT to make a relationship succeed. She does not have a computer. It is not easyfor her to get your emails at the agency, telephone calls cost her money (More BS) Incoming phone calls are free. If she is working a scam or she is an agency she will have prepared answers ready for all occasions. All designed to put your mind at ease and make you feel like a POS for having the nerve to ask such a rude question. Follow your heart...BS use your head,

Sorry Vincent. You're being conned. I had those feelings. It cost me about $1000 before I could see what was going on. We are all naive the first few times out but we get a bit cynical after seeing how many games are being played.  Unless you're extremely lucky you will not come out ahead.
 
I agree with everyone here. she is either freelance (doubt it) or working for an agency.

I second David's recommendation Run Forest Run! Or if you're evil like me.stay and do a little payback.. See how far she/they  will go. Get them drooling over a large introduction fee and green card then pull the plug .

[Willy The Londoner]

As they say very few woman do not have access to a computer or do not know how to use one but these are usually over 45's.

Skype is free and it is available in China with no problem and you get Video as well.

Also just about every women in China has QQ so there is nor excuse for contact outside the agency.  You have a her phone number.
So why not join up with skype. You can call any mobile in China at a very low rate and it includes cell phones  - or you can also pay a quarterly amount and pay no more for calls.

Chnlove are looking at bottom line.  Possible clients are hard to get for them these days so they will use every trick in the book to keep their hooks in you.

Willy
Zhongshan

[vincent]

to answer robertt she is with  Changsha Love Bridge Company ...  this is my third time trying to be with an asian girl, i love asian women but i refuse to go through this a forth time if this doesn't work im done with dating & all women all together, id rather live my life alone then to keep getting my heart broken, & i told my girl about this & actually she did just try to push me away cause of all that has happened but i said no, its ether her or no one. & she really tried hard to make me leave her...

[Pineau]

Oh my god.  The dreaded Changsha love bridge.  Id say you could have made a better choice. Get away from her and the agency while you still have two nickles to rub together.  Sounds like she feels sorry for you but not enough to come clean and do the right thing.

So Gosh!  Why would you want to walk away now. After only 3 tries.  It took me about 3 tries to get warmed up. Ther are other places to find brides other than these agencies. Robert has a website. There is Chineselovelinks, Chinalovematch, cherryblossom. All are monthly subscriptions.  That means you can talk to as many ladies you want for NO FEE. There are all sorts of ladies there. some only seeking friendship, penpals,english lessons and just want a mans opinion about some other man they just met.

I am married but still keep my subscription. I trade advice about western men for advice about Cantonese women. It works out pretty well but occasionally I run into trouble with an unscrupulous gold digger. But I have got to the point that I can spot them a mile away.  I have found a few good candidates for a wife for my son. 

Hmm I am rambling so back to the point.  Don't give up yet. If you really want an Asian wife then don't settle for less. Stick with it . Make your choice and go after her. Dont fall before your ready. Honestly protect your heart until you are ready.

Another word of advice. If you choose one of the websites I mentioned watch out for  swindlers. There are quite a few. If she seems to "amazing" to be interested in you then she is probably a cobra ready to strike. Along with the pros there's the legitimate ladies that have"passed their prime" they are old and heavy and a bit homely (I'm trying to be polite) but their profile photo will either be an enhanced studio quality photo or a photo of them 20 years ago or maybe even their daughter.  You cant blame them because the that is the only way they can compete with other younger women.  Just look out for that little white lie.

Don't be discouraged. I was scammed 3 times at Chnlove before making the switch. After I got serious and went to China. My wife is the 8th woman I visited.  I finally made my selection ( or it selected me). I am so glad I did not throw in the towel back then.  If you do you will wonder about how it could have been.

[Vince G]

"Oh my god.  The dreaded Changsha love bridge."  My exact words reading it. Known as the worst scamming ripoffs.

This move to Chnlove doesn't make sense, if the reason was real. She doesn't have a computer? Can't afford it? So she goes to Chnlove pays 3-6 thousand to use theirs? Doesn't make sense to me. Take the recommendations.

[vincent]

"Chnlove pays 3-6 thousand to use theirs"
when you say that does that mean the girls have to pay Chnlove or Chnlove pays the girls?  sorry im a bit confused on that...
also she does want to quit Changsha Love Bridge Company but is afraid you know the usual thing, that i will forget her or find someone else.. i have told her what you all have told me cause im an honest person & i do like her don't want to loose her & i want to help her. what you all have been telling me has been very helpful. if she truly does care about me & wants to be with me she will quit that Company & go somewhere else, somewhere where we can still be together but will not make me have to spend a lot of money. i hope im doing the right thing...

[Rhonald]

i know she is real cause i was able to See her when we were on Asian-Girls-Online ( i could see her but she couldn't see me, just the way that sight is setup) & iv talked to her & heard her voice ( i even called her while on the video/web cam) so i know she is 100% real.

What computer was she using when you two were using Asian-Girls-Online? Also try to think at what time were you talking with her for her China Time. If it was during regular China time business hours then maybe she was using the Changsha Bridge computer - but then this hints to more the Chansha Bridge fishing theory. If her time was late at night when you were talking with her, then what computer was she using.

Now the hard advice - 5 months for internet dating is not anything serious yet. Until you make a few trips over there and see her in person, all you have so far is wishfull thinking. Talk is cheap, unless you use the agency EMF letters which can cost money - the real test is making the trip. As Maxx has said many times, if you are not prepared to make a trip in 6 months, then the reality is that you are not prepared for a long distance, long term (because of the immigration waiting period) relationship.

[Vince G]

"Chnlove pays 3-6 thousand to use theirs"

IF she is going to an agency to use their computer she has a contract with them. This contract varies with the agency and package she bought, but yeah average  is a few thou. And NO they don't pay her, unless she's an employee?

[Arnold]

As Maxx has said many times, if you are not prepared to make a trip in 6 months, then the reality is that you are not prepared for a long distance, long term (because of the immigration waiting period) relationship.

This is as True as it gets!

Second: I can't add much more to the info. others have already given here, but your Girl/Lady needs to get far away from Chnlove as she can and now. Doesn't matter even if she'd pay'd them a Fee to join (unless she is employed by them) to save you further Money later on, like the meeting/marriage Fee's. The money you'll save, you'll go and see her and buy her a PC and put all worries (well most of them for now- other's will follow later for sure) to rest, at least you now are on direct communication and free too.. excect the Internet Fees of course. Excuses are out the window or your relationship with her "IS"!