being able to meet my lady...

[vincent]

thank you all this has been really helpful, hard but helpful. & i told her just what you said Arnold, she needs to get far away from Chnlove & Changsha Love Bridge Company as soon & fast as she can. i told her straight up honestly Chnlove is just too expensive & no good. i love her with all my heart but we need to do things differently. & also she has said to me that she wants to quit Changsha Love Bridge Company, i guess her boss is an ass or something lol, but she isn't sure what she wants to do..  if its meant to be it will happen & me & her will be together.i do know it will be a while before i can trust a dating sight or its lady's. i shared A Lot of myself with my girl... idk its not easy...

[shaun]

This all seems kind of surreal to me so let me sum it up with bullet points.

1.  Chnlove - bad news almost all the way round.  Get away from it.

2.  Changsha Love Bridge Co. - Quite possibly the biggest crooks on the internet when it come to finding a Chinese wife.  Avoid like the black plague. 

3.  It ALWAYS cost the woman money to use a company like this.

4.  It will cost you money in translations fees X2.  You write a letter; you pay.  She writes a letter; you pay.

5.  When writing a letter chances of her reading and replying to the letter are slim to none.  Most often it is the translater doing the writing.

6.  Take a trip to see her with six months, just for your own sanity.  You need to find out if she is real or not.

7.  Finally it took many of us on this site more that 5 times to find a keeper.  If this one isn't it we can help you set a strategy to find one.  (Few have found them on their first try.)

8.  Web Chat; Web Chat; Web Chat; Web Chat: Web Chat

Finally, if she keeps heading you off at the pass then there is a reason and it isn't a good one.

[Willy The Londoner]

I would like to know the age of you both.  That will have a bearing on what is said and done.  So let us know your age and her age.

Our advice here is usually get of Chnlove agency as soon as possible. In the case of Changsha Love Bridge agency it is normally do not even go there. It is the one agency that has systematically created the worst name of any on Chnlove. 

This agency knows your feelings towards the women that you have never met and will play you now for every dollar they can get out of you.  That is why we regularly advise men to get here as soon as they are able and meet the women they are talking with otherwise the more shrewd, conniving agencies will bleed you dry and you end up with nothing. This is not a journey to start with no money in your pocket.  Do not forget also that if she has signed up with Changsha Love Bridge Agency then they are going to want money for the initial introduction and if she has no money that could mean you dipping into your pocket.  Then if you get together they will want the fee for a successful union and their request could run into many thousand US Dollars.  Do you realize how these agencies operate and the terms the women sign up for. They are told, and I know this for sure, that they must not worry about the high fees quoted in their contract as the man will pay it!

Believe me when I say that you are not in love with the women that you have been talking to. You are in love with the thought of being in love with a
beautiful Chinese woman.

Where does this woman live compared to the location of the agency. Changsha is a big city and as other say there is no reason for her to not to have access to other computers. How did you speak before she joined chnlove?  WHY after meeting you in another place would she then go and pay 3000 rmb to join and commit herself to paying between 30,000 - 50,000 rmb to them for a successful match when she HAS ALREADY MADE THAT INITIAL MATCH.

The agencies are doing so badly these days due to bad publicity and financial problems in the West that they have to go to any length to pay their bills including the huge cost they are committed to paying Chnlove each year.

I think you need to sit back and think about everything that has happened in the past 5 months and then consider whether to take our advice or not.

A someone who has lived in China with my wife for more that 3 years I say the time is right to cut and run on this one otherwise you face  a much bigger hurt in the months to come.

Willy

[vincent]

im 27 she is 25.

and actually me and her just had a big fight (at least big to me) about all of this. i could have left & i did think of it but then i had the biggest pain in my chest, i cant let her go, but i think we both agree to just email each other for now. i do have her bank info & she only needs $300. the reasion she went to chnlove is cause of me, we had a miscommunication on asian girls online, i was trying to be a good man & offered to buy her a new computer in china off the internet figureing that laptops would be cheaper there, i was wrong VERY wrong they are the same as here if not more. anyways i told her this & she said i could just send her the money & she would get it. asian girls online seen this & thought she was asking for money, they fined her $100, or actually her company & the company fined her. that upset her & i would be & was too. so we went to chnlove. im not sure where where the co is but she lives City: Changsha
Address: ,Xin You Ke Fang ,Xiao Gu Dao Lane,Chengnan Road,Tianxin District,Changsha,Hunan
i tryed to look it up on google map but it would only find Chengnan Road,Tianxin District,Changsha,Hunan
i got her info from asian girls online

also willy you said you lived in china for 3 years, what was it like? did you have to learn Chinese? im thinking of moving there myself but im worried about what kind of work i would do i work for landscaping right now as a lawn mower, but im concerned about what kind of work i would be able to do there in china... any ideas or advice in that area?

[Willy The Londoner]

Unless you have a teaching degree or a teaching diplomas then there is little you can do here. Most foreigners here are teaching. You cannot arrive here then apply for a work visa - you have to apply for that before you get here and without any qualifications you will not get one. 

Plus it seems that the job you have does not pay too much. In which case you will find trying to marry a Chinese woman here will be very difficult.  Basic living is cheap but when the women find a foreign man then basic living is not what they want. They have that already.  Forget Love. When it comes to the financial resources of a man that is number one consideration for Chinese women.

The scammers will settle at first for what they think they can get.  To me any request for money is a BIG RED FLAG.  Never send money for any reason before you have been here, seen her and then decided what you want to do next.   That request will get them all boiling over on this forum.  You should put the money for a computer towards an air flight here.  To be blunt if you cannot afford an air fare immediately then forget the idea of continuing your quest here. You will get burned and you could end up seriously burned.   

China may be a cheap country for basis living. But a foreigner taking a Chinese wife has to look towards having several thousands dollars available for just the basics.  To get a Chinese wife to your country is going to need a good regular income and many thousands more.

You say that you do not earn much money - well forget China - they are not interested in getting a poor man - they want reliabilty and an improved standard of living. There has been  men on this forum whose wife's have said goodbye when they have taken a down turn in salary.

Sorry to be so blunt but I think others will echo that the time may not be right for you to start looking in China.

Willy

[Vince G]

Vincent, Willy is being very kind in his reply. I think your in dreamland somewhere and need an awaking. So please don't take this as insulting you. First you need to educate yourself on the subject of marrying a foreigner. This isn't the movies and it's not as easy as the common theory others tell you. You WILL NOT just marry her and bring her to the US. It's a long process that takes about a year and takes your year income (judging by what you do). Then there is also sending money to support the parents after your married.

If your determined to proceed? There is much reading here in this forum you can learn from. What is best are trips to China just for a start. This is a process the US government will look at when it's time for her Visa after marriage.


One more thing... NEVER SEND MONEY.  You are being scammed

[vincent]

aside from "being a scam or her scamming me" i feel like im being told to give up. ill never be a teacher & to earn several thousands dollars would take quite a few years.... i dont know what else to say, i guess i should have broke up with her last night when we had our fight, a heck of a way to end a relationship tho. ill be honest i dont like the girls here in the U.S. american girls, most have too much baggage & really most really arent that attractive. im tired of being alone, iv spent most of my life that way. i guess i got 3 choices break up with my girl & be alone, take a chance with her & keep going & prob get burned & still end up alone, or settle for some dumb bimbo here in the U.S. & that i will never love. i dont know why im even continuing this conversation.. i appreciate  the help you all have giving me now i just got to do some deep thinking...

[shaun]

Vincent spending some time thinking about this is a good idea.

I know we've been negative and haven't given you much hope but you need to think things through.  Maybe now would be a good time to get trained in something that is more marketable.  Personally I have more than one stream of income.  With today's market place sinking all of your eggs into one basket seems to limit your income.  Consider things like ebay, half.com, flea markets just to name a few.  You have options that you do not realize.  I have a job, sell on ebay and half.com and sell in a flea market.  It has taken a while but I am beginning to hit my stride in the flea market.

If you really think you have found the girl for you then you need to reach beyond yourself and go for it.  All we are saying to you is that all of the indications look like a scam.  But really if a Chinese woman is where you are at then you need to understand what it takes to get one and keep her.  The lack of money isn't it.  Unfortunately love and financial stability run hand in hand with a Chinese woman; for that matter you could say with a woman.  American, Italian, Russian, French, Korean or any nationality it doesn't matter a woman looks for stability and the largest anchor in that is money.

Think about everything but the bottom line is you need to step up to the plate and hit a home run financially and it is within your grasp.  Hell deliver pizza if that is what it takes.

[Arnold]

Vincent, remember.. we're not here to make or tell anybody to Quit! We tell it like it is before you get hurt more (that goes both ways) or get too deep into it emotionally and into your Pocketbook. I certainly hate to see anybody fail on their dream, but reality can really bite you in the A**.. you know what I mean. I myself, to give you an idea how much this cost me and not adding what my Wife payed the Agency.. about $25,000 overall. That was just for her and add more for her Son. It is definitely NOT cheap by any means. This is why we say, unless you have the Bucks to back up your dream.. don't even go there.
I was in the same shoes as you.. was done with western Woman in many reasons.. you mentioned some of them. But, beside having the Money.. you need also some luck with the Immigration where you'd be pulling many hairs before that is over.
Anyway, weigh your options and proceed wisely and make it easy on both of you.

[Rhonald]

aside from "being a scam or her scamming me" i feel like im being told to give up. ill never be a teacher & to earn several thousands dollars would take quite a few years.... i dont know what else to say,

No one has said to give up, we just told it as it is. Have you even discused with her you planning on going over for a visit? Without a date set on a possible visit, how can you see how much to budget from your paycheck to afford a trip. Are you saying that it will take a few years to just save enough for a visit? Without even having to worry about if you are being scammed, First you have to check your own situation.  If it will be years before you go, would not her friends caution her that maybe you are not being serious? Only through action can you prove to her & you can find out yourself if there could be a future.

If you can not afford the trip, then all you have is a pen pal. Do you drive a car? I wish I could drive an expensive car, but even if I could afford the car, then meeting the insurance premiums would kill me. Thinking of marrying a girl from China is no different, the cost is high, the insurance premiums steep. I drive a Honda Civic, but at least I married my girl. It took 8 trips and 30 months waiting for her visa.Yes the cost is high, and not always is the ride smooth.

... talking to her just on weekends for only a few hours just isn't enough for me or her. .. i just dont know what to do ...

From you first post I have quoted the gest of it. You have to go!

[vincent]

YES i have been talking to her about all of this the whole time i have been on here asking questions. in fact that was what the fight with her was about last night, she knows the position im in on money & my concerns. she got very offended thinking i thought that she was after just my money, & who wouldnt i know i would. i told her from the start no matter what i would always be honest with her no matter what & i have been from the start, iv always thought how is a relationship to work if you cant be honest.. i did ask her if it took a few years to see her & all that other stuff if would still wait & she said yes. all i can do is have a little faith that she is being honest as well, im going to trust her till i have 100% proof not to. i know the money wire isnt the best idea but if it really is my fault that she got fined & her phone bill cost $100, should i not man up & send her that money & not leave her to have to pay it all? isn't that part of being a good honest & caring man about? if she is willing to wait for me ill be there for her till the end, at least that sounds right to me.
i did learn one thing last night when fighting with her, that is some scary stuff, i would have preferred to fight an angry dinosaur than to have gone throe that. was the scariest thing iv ever gone throe

[Rhonald]

I still do not understand how Asian-Girls-Online could even fine your girl. Below is copied from their website:

Any confirmed unethical behavior will result in that profile being deleted from our database. We strive to protect our members from any form of scams, fraud or deception.

I see that they have a statement that they themself can only be accountable for 100 dollars:

If we are deemed liable to you by a competent court, our maximum possible liability to you for any reason shall not exceed $100.

So how can a company located in Cyprus charge her for a 100 dollar fine without taking her to court? At most I see that they would have deleted her profile. And how would they have known of the discretion? Are they reading your guy's personel emails?

I would recomend saving the one hundred dollars to put forward to an airplane ticket.

[JohnB]

Vincent,
If you have the money, just go! It is the 'shoulder' season of travel, the cheapest time of year. You have a passport? Get the China visa, I think $140.00 through the consulate in San Francisco if I am not mistaken.
I've been to China a bunch of times. I feel comfortable in that I go for less than $2k including airfare. It won't bust you if you stay in a typical Chinese 3star hotel. Food is cheap. Visiting is cheap. In- country travel by train is cheap. Everything is cheap by our Western standards. The thing is, you are young & inexperienced. Everyone here means well, but you may feel intimidated, but do not give up! You are young and you can make a lot of mistakes. When you are older, mistakes are like more costly in time & money, and sanity.
At least you will see for yourself another part of the world. A place of beauty and outstandingly beautiful women. They do exist.
Then you can formulate your own game plan & see what you need to do to be successful in your adventures.
Good luck to you!

[Willy The Londoner]

Vincent I think that you have already made up your mind what you are going to do but I have a few questions. 

1) By what method are you going to wire her the money? Not Western Union I hope.

2) Does she speak good English or do you need translators?

3) What job does she do as she appears to be well educated?

4) What do your really know about her?

Willy

[vincent]

why whats wrong with western union?