All About China > Understanding Chinese Women
Little Emperors
David K:
David E
Another thing you might like to check out is the immigration status of
your inherited "problem"
He would have come over on a visitors visa....
But if he wants to study, it would be a student visa, and the requirements
are different.. at least in NZ.. and I assume OZ is similar
To get to Uni he requires proof of a reasonable standard of English..
IELTS 5.5 or 6, and then to demonstrate good attendance at lectures, and
pass a reasonable number of his papers..
Letting these lapse could result in the cancellation of his student Visa..
( Here in NZ we had had a lot of abuse of the Student Visa scheme)..
I have known sponsors in situations like yours who have requested
that immigration monitor a specific student for compliance...
spoilt brat behaviour then becomes an issue between him and immigration,
not between him and his mother...
And of course there is the issue of Uni Fees ...not a small cost.... to be
borne by ???
Peace
David K
<< Age And Experience trumps Youth And Arrogance >>
Rhonald:
--- Quote from: David E on October 18, 2012, 02:55:32 pm ---But I am prepared for that if that is how it must be...could it be that I have been set-up for this game plan from day 1 of my relationship.?????..what a ghastly thought.
--- End quote ---
I think it would be better to look at it as being a situation that your wife either can not or doesn't want to change her viewpoint in her relationship with her son. Maybe the Culture has been beaten too much into her that if she doesn't cherish her son, she thinks she would be labled a bad mother. My stepson many times has told my wife that she was a bad mother and that she did not love him. I know with my wife her viewpoint is that if her son is not willing to change, then he will need to move out. She has become tired of him talking down to her.
I can understand the loosing ones cool and yelling at the boy with his return look as you so aptly described as him seeing a dog as I have had the same happen to me. My new approach is to shame him into compliance. He was being lazy at night and keeping a 4 liter milk jug in his room to pee in. Since he was not emptying it, the room started to stink. My first attempt by telling him to stop did not seem to work, so I hung a sign translated into Chinese that stated that even animals do not pee where they sleep.
Arnold:
--- Quote from: Rhonald on October 18, 2012, 05:21:30 pm ---
--- End quote ---
Since he was not emptying it, the room started to stink. My first attempt by telling him to stop did not seem to work, so I hung a sign translated into Chinese that stated that even animals do not pee where they sleep.
[/quote]
Boy Rhonald.. you deserve better than that! After waiting over two years, to receive this as payment is a big junk to swollow. Then again, we were able to fight the "Evil" Immigration People.. so this can't be too bad.
Like we have been called (or called ourselves) non-quiter's.. we must fight on or "We'll" loose Face.. get it?
Willy The Londoner:
These are certainly good lessons to be learned here. Not only immigration to deal with but grown up sons as well.
I thank God that my situation is not quite the same. Just the one 'set to' and it was over for me with thanks from my wife.
Tell me please that my two adult step daughters are not going to turn the same way.
Willy
David E:
David K
Yep...I have already checked out the mechanisms as to how he can come here for Uni. study. We have several options, including a family reunion visa when Ming gets her Permanent Residency in December. So there is no real Immigration impediment for him to come here to study.
I know that I will be up for his Uni fees as a foreign student, and this aint cheap !!!!! But I would gladly pay for him if he was a reasoable, responsible kind of Boy, in fact, if he were so, he would have a real good friend, Mentor and substitute Father in me.....but he needs to somehow convince me that he can and will change....difficult I know, but I dont want my life for the next 4 years or so being a constant battleground between me , him and his Mother...I would rather be single again and smell the roses ;D ;D ;D...At my age, I have done the hard yards and just want an easy, quiet and peaceful life with my wife and family.....and I wont compromise that for anything.
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