Author Topic: Scams/Pitfalls when starting up  (Read 19380 times)

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Offline IrishGuy65

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Re: Scams/Pitfalls when starting up
« Reply #15 on: February 14, 2013, 06:07:36 pm »
OK, I'll shave.  :)

I'm looking for ladies my age, not younger than 10 years younger than me, and for me I think that's pushing it.  I'm not looking for a lady that is my daughter's age, after all!  If I was, I'd just ask my daughter to hook me up with some of her friends... imagine the look on her face, would be priceless!  ;D
I-129F Delivered: 9/26/13
NOA-1 Received: 10/1/13
Request for evidence: 11/13/13
RFE evidence received by USCIS: 11/29/13
Approval of petition (online): 12/17/13
NOA-2 Received: 12/24/13
Lisa received letter from Guangzhou: 1/14/13
Interview on 2/25/14.  Visas approved.
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Offline shaun

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Re: Scams/Pitfalls when starting up
« Reply #16 on: February 14, 2013, 08:19:47 pm »
I haven't shaved and I haven't done to bad.  :P  But she asks me to shave all of the time.  :o ::) :-\

Offline IrishGuy65

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Re: Scams/Pitfalls when starting up
« Reply #17 on: February 14, 2013, 08:55:00 pm »
To get rid of credits on chnlove.com, I asked my favorite lady, who says she speaks 'good' English, to set up a Love Call.  She was happy to do this, and we just finished our conversation.  She needs work, but she can understand me (even though I talk too fast), and I can understand her (even though I'm an intolerant American, my words, not anyone else's, who can't understand anyone who doesn't speak 'perfect' English).  I made off hand remarks about things that she wrote in EMFs, and she recognized what I was talking about, so I believe it was the same person from the messages... for example, she talked about being away from home with her parents for the holiday, and playing Mahjong with them, and that she didn't do well.  I said, during the conversation, that I hope you do better today in Mahjong and she laughed and seemed genuinely surprised I read, and remembered, her letter.  In the end, we exchanged phone numbers and we exchanged texts and QQ numbers.  Now I have to set up my damn webcam...

Anyway, some questions:

1) Are all Chinese women jealous types?  She asked me more than once if I'm talking to other ladies on chnlove.com.  I told her the truth, that there are 2 others, she is my favorite.  She asked if I would stop talking to the others and I said yes.  I WILL do what I said I would do.  I only have 3 credits left, and I wasn't planning on buying more anyway.  I will mention that I am only interested in ladies 40+ who were divorced with no children, so I assume (we haven't discussed her marriage yet) she was cheated on like many Chinese wives seem to be.
2) She giggled a LOT.  I'm a funny guy, but not that funny.  She did tell me that my pronunciations were funny (I tried to say a few things I learned in Chinese... the only one I got right was ni hao ma... pinyin is tough!!).   Do most Chinese women giggle a lot, or am I funnier than even I believe?
3) She asked about what I like to be called.  I told her Pat, Patrick, I don't care.  So she said my new Chinese name was Bao Be (that's how it sounded).  She wouldn't tell me what it meant.  Can someone help me out here?
4) While we talked a little on several subjects, she seemed to be very interested in me coming to visit her in China.  When I said I didn't know how long it takes to get a visa taken care of, or that I wouldn't be able to afford it until July, she seemed genuinely upset.  I really didnt see things going so fast, considering that I thought Chinese women were conservative and slow moving.  We've exchanged 7 emails, 3 from her and 4 from me, plus this talk.  Is this normal?
5) Finally, she says she had a friend that met a man from Australia and is now living with him there.  How does this affect the whole situation?

The whole thing was surreal, and I didn't know how to take it.  She asked a lot of questions and was positively responsive to my questions.  She controlled the conversation for the most part.  She seemed disappointed that I had to end the call because I knew I was getting close to the end of my credits, but she was happy to exchange cell #s and responded quickly to my text and gave me her QQ.  I didn't ask her about facial hair or shaving yet... maybe I should have, that could have been the clincher :D  She lives in Shenzhen, and I would like to talk with her more on QQ and through text/phone calls before I meet her in person.  Is juanjuan (her name is JuanLi, she likes to be called juanjuan, which I need to practice saying so I say it correctly...) for real, or is this just a scam?  She seems real enough, but I'm basically a virgin here.

Oh, yeah, how long DOES it take to get a tourist visa?

I would like your thoughts, and also is this the right place to post, or would another forum be better?

« Last Edit: February 14, 2013, 09:01:16 pm by ZootMurph »
I-129F Delivered: 9/26/13
NOA-1 Received: 10/1/13
Request for evidence: 11/13/13
RFE evidence received by USCIS: 11/29/13
Approval of petition (online): 12/17/13
NOA-2 Received: 12/24/13
Lisa received letter from Guangzhou: 1/14/13
Interview on 2/25/14.  Visas approved.
Visas picked up on 3/5/14.

Offline Robertt S

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Re: Scams/Pitfalls when starting up
« Reply #18 on: February 14, 2013, 09:13:09 pm »
You can get a tourist visa pretty quick, but it will cost extra. The normal processing takes about 7-10 days unless you walk it through yourself! Here is the company I used for all my previous visas!  http://www.visarite.com/           Regards, Robertt

Offline kiwisteve

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Re: Scams/Pitfalls when starting up
« Reply #19 on: February 14, 2013, 10:17:16 pm »
...In the end, we exchanged phone numbers and we exchanged texts and QQ numbers.  Now I have to set up my damn webcam...

Well done. Now you can stop buying credits, and save that money towards a ticket to go see her. You'll get to know her really quickly on QQ and figure out if she might be the one.

To answer some of your questions with my very limited experience:

1) Are all Chinese women jealous types? 
In my experience, yes. To give this a proper chance you both need to shut down chatting to others. She's probably been burnt before.

2) She giggled a LOT. 
I found the same - my current gf has hysterics over anything, which is cute. At least she is happy most of the time.

4) ...visit her in China. 
Yep, they move fast - they want to know if you are serious so they don't waste their time. Be prepared to hear talk about love and marriage real soon after you chat on QQ. Marriage is her end goal and she will want to get straight to the point.

5) Finally, she says she had a friend that met a man from Australia and is now living with him there.  How does this affect the whole situation?
That's normal. She probably got involved with the site after chatting to her friends about foreigners. It's too early to say what her intentions are though.

Shaving - I have a full beard and she never said anything about it until recently, after a couple of visits and a year of chatting. So I shaved it all off for her. She likes this better now and says all her friends think I look much younger shaved. I disagree, so I've grown it back, but promised I will shave again for our next meeting.

cheers,
Steve

Offline Pineau

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Re: Scams/Pitfalls when starting up
« Reply #20 on: February 14, 2013, 10:50:18 pm »
She is calling you precious baby. Or dear baby.

This is me age 57 with beard.  Age 60 without the beard.
« Last Edit: February 15, 2013, 09:05:51 am by Pineau »
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Offline Willy The Londoner

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Re: Scams/Pitfalls when starting up
« Reply #21 on: February 15, 2013, 12:40:31 am »
If the lady lives in Shenzhen then why not consider this.

I believe that a US Citizen does not need a visa to enter Hong Kong.   You can stay for up to 90 days.  Because the lady is from Shenzhen and it adjoins Hong Kong she can enter Hong Kong on the special arrangement that some residents of Guangdong Province have with Hong Kong. 

The airline flights are very regular and cheaper to Hong Kong.  You can meet up there.  If you want to both go into Mainland China you can always pick up a same day visa to cross the border.

No reason to put of meeting for so long.

Willy

Have you ever wondered why Chinamen do not have full beards? They are difficult to grow other than those wispy strands of hair that sprout from their chins.
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Offline IrishGuy65

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Re: Scams/Pitfalls when starting up
« Reply #22 on: February 15, 2013, 07:54:50 am »
Precious baby...  I like it.  Also, I like your facial hair configuration there.  I see now how you say you look younger with it shaved...  mine is pretty gray also, so getting rid of it will get rid of the obvious sign of age that is a salt and pepper beard :)

Willy, the problem is more about my comfort level than anything else.  I don't expect in the near future (next year or so) to be able to even consider being able to do things on my own in China, maybe even after 1 year.  So, what if things change after we meet face to face.  If I put 2 weeks aside for a visit as she asks, and we meet and after spending a couple of days together it doesn't work out, what then?  Also, I assume she'll have to work during the time I'm visiting... what do I do with my time during her work hours?

Honestly, like I said, this is much faster than I expected anything to happen.  I wasn't really prepared to consider a Chinese visit just yet, much less actually planning one.  Hopefully, when we start talking through QQ once she gets back from her parents' place in Hunan, we can talk about that more.  Depending on how much money I need when I am there, I think I can afford the trip without a big strain on my finances.  But that's really not my concern.  It's fast, and there's a LOT of unknowns I need to clear up and/or learn about.  After reading a bit and doing a little research, my first thought was to fly into Hong Kong and take it from there, so I appreciate that advice.

I don't have any problem growing facial hair, LOL.  I have shaved the beard, but can't shave the moustache yet.  I'll ask her what she thinks on QQ, then decide on the moustache.
I-129F Delivered: 9/26/13
NOA-1 Received: 10/1/13
Request for evidence: 11/13/13
RFE evidence received by USCIS: 11/29/13
Approval of petition (online): 12/17/13
NOA-2 Received: 12/24/13
Lisa received letter from Guangzhou: 1/14/13
Interview on 2/25/14.  Visas approved.
Visas picked up on 3/5/14.

Offline Willy The Londoner

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Re: Scams/Pitfalls when starting up
« Reply #23 on: February 15, 2013, 09:50:47 am »


Willy, the problem is more about my comfort level than anything else.  I don't expect in the near future (next year or so) to be able to even consider being able to do things on my own in China, maybe even after 1 year.  So, what if things change after we meet face to face.  If I put 2 weeks aside for a visit as she asks, and we meet and after spending a couple of days together it doesn't work out, what then?  Also, I assume she'll have to work during the time I'm visiting... what do I do with my time during her work hours?


If you meet and it does not work out then that happened to me. But it was no problem. There was enough ladies taking an interest in me to keep my days full. So my planned 6 weeks stay become almost 4 years and still counting.  I never looked back. 

Willy

PS. My wife is from Hunan as well.
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Offline Pineau

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Re: Scams/Pitfalls when starting up
« Reply #24 on: February 15, 2013, 09:59:20 am »
Moving really fast. A bit scary if you ask me. Running away to meet the family on the first visit. Comeon...Zoot just got his feet on the ground and about to be snatched up by the first lady that would talk to him. Careful with Chinese ladies that move this fast.

Zoot, If she starts right away to push you to love and marriage then that says a lot about her motives. If your going to China I would stay and set up command central in mainland China. With a economy hotel that you can get away to whenever you need to be alone to think.  And being able to go away and be alone prevents her from dominating your every moment there.  And If so inclined you can also meet some other ladies from CLL. Guangzhou and Shenzhen are full of them.

I know.... maybe you can stay at willies !!!!  He is close to Guangzhou and Shenzhen.   ;D
« Last Edit: February 15, 2013, 10:01:51 am by Pineau »
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Offline Willy The Londoner

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Re: Scams/Pitfalls when starting up
« Reply #25 on: February 15, 2013, 10:07:25 am »


I know.... maybe you can stay at willies !!!!  He is close to Guangzhou and Shenzhen.   ;D

Just 75 US dollars a day including bed and three meals a day.

Willy

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Offline IrishGuy65

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Re: Scams/Pitfalls when starting up
« Reply #26 on: February 15, 2013, 05:34:38 pm »
Moving really fast. A bit scary if you ask me. Running away to meet the family on the first visit. Comeon...Zoot just got his feet on the ground and about to be snatched up by the first lady that would talk to him. Careful with Chinese ladies that move this fast.

That is exactly what I was thinking.  I don't mind being snatched up by the first lady if she's the right lady.  She did say, in our talk, that when I come to visit she hopes that I like it so much I will never leave...  so I don't get the feeling she's trying to get a free ticket.  And she has travelled to the USA and some other places before.  Maybe scammers are more clever that I think also.  I'm not going to rush it, but I like this lady and would like to get to know her better... I'd just like to take it slower, especially since I didn't expect all this to come about like this.

Zoot, If she starts right away to push you to love and marriage then that says a lot about her motives. If your going to China I would stay and set up command central in mainland China. With a economy hotel that you can get away to whenever you need to be alone to think.  And being able to go away and be alone prevents her from dominating your every moment there.  And If so inclined you can also meet some other ladies from CLL. Guangzhou and Shenzhen are full of them.

I know.... maybe you can stay at willies !!!!  He is close to Guangzhou and Shenzhen.   ;D

Unfortunately, I couldn't do a long visit... two weeks is my absolute max.  I am a poker dealer in a casino, and when I'm not working, I'm not making money.  My vacation and personal time are basically minimum wage ($7.25 an hour, I think...). I was sorta hoping there were people in that area that I could call on when I was there, to meet up with us and maybe get some insights from her using their experience that I couldn't get or see.  Plus, getting to meet others face to face is always a nice thing :)

Willy, watch out, I may take you up on that :)

As usual, thanks for the inputs.  feel free to keep them coming.  It'll be several days before I will talk to her again... so I have time to sit back, think, and chew on it a little.  24 hour rule?  More like the 72 hour rule for me in this case.
I-129F Delivered: 9/26/13
NOA-1 Received: 10/1/13
Request for evidence: 11/13/13
RFE evidence received by USCIS: 11/29/13
Approval of petition (online): 12/17/13
NOA-2 Received: 12/24/13
Lisa received letter from Guangzhou: 1/14/13
Interview on 2/25/14.  Visas approved.
Visas picked up on 3/5/14.

Offline RobertBfrom aust

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Re: Scams/Pitfalls when starting up
« Reply #27 on: February 15, 2013, 07:40:10 pm »
Zoot , nice to see that your now on QQ , not only can you take snapshots of your lady , but from the outset back up your chats onto a usb stick or whatever so that you have a record , that may come in handy later on .
As you are a poker dealer I wonder whether you could not make this a study tour , with a few days in Macau to see if things are different in their casinos , just an idea , I know all my China trips are part business , Shenzen is a large 24 hour city as are many mainland cities and until you arrive in China one cannot imagine the jigsaw of life there .
When you are talking with your lady just keep your chitchat general and simple and talk slowly, if there is a word she does not understand type it out and she will more than likely translate it at her end , ask her when she would be able to have holiday time to see you , as depending on her work situation it may not be till their autumn holiday period , much better to plan for 4- 6 months ahead especially as airfares vary dramatically , peak travel times can almost double .
Yes until you meet face to face nothing is certain , but on QQ it is great to learn about each other , just remember that most Chinese women are far more street smart[ in the nicest way ] than Western women and they sure cook a lovely meal out of mystery goodies ha ha , nothing like a Chinese cafe at home , regards sujuan and Robert .
Now it is early to bed and late to rise .
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Offline Martin

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Re: Scams/Pitfalls when starting up
« Reply #28 on: February 19, 2013, 09:36:35 pm »
Just curious...where in Hunan Province?

Offline IrishGuy65

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Re: Scams/Pitfalls when starting up
« Reply #29 on: February 19, 2013, 09:41:56 pm »
Just curious...where in Hunan Province?

It borders Guangdong on the northern/northwestern edge.  So it is north of Guandong province, or Shenzhen/Hong Kong.
I-129F Delivered: 9/26/13
NOA-1 Received: 10/1/13
Request for evidence: 11/13/13
RFE evidence received by USCIS: 11/29/13
Approval of petition (online): 12/17/13
NOA-2 Received: 12/24/13
Lisa received letter from Guangzhou: 1/14/13
Interview on 2/25/14.  Visas approved.
Visas picked up on 3/5/14.