After you bring her and her/ your new son here...then what?

[fivetrout]

Hi all!

A question that requires a good answer. If all continues to proceed as planned, I will marry in August in Wuhan. What has not been resolved...is that when I bring her and her son (16) over here (US) and so how we will go about his schooling? He will have two years left in high school and plans on college here. I have hinted to her that he needs to complete his high school in china as we can't just drop him off to a high school here. Anyway, a friend who is Chinese suggested that he finish school and stay with relatives in china before joining us here, but I don't think she will want any part of that. I don't have children of my own and so I have no experience with schooling. I am looking to relocate to an area with a Chinese community...Denver perhaps?

Any input?

Chris

[David E]

Chris

I have been through the scenario you describe, my wife's son had 2 more years to go in High School at the time she came to Aus to be with me.

After much "wrangling" I finally got her to understand that to simply have her Son transfer from a Chinese High School ino an Australian one would be ruinous for his future.

The language issue, the different Curriculum and Culture would forever doom him to a low grade Educational outcome by doing it this way. We compromised by arranging (and me paying for !!!) an apartment for him and also for close supervision by her family so that he could finish High School in China.

At that point he can come here to Aus as a foreign University Student and join many others doing it this way, there are a wide range of special Uni courses and options for foreign Students.

I got a lot of resistance at first, but eventually my wife saw the logic and sense of this strategy.

[IrishGuy65]

I have a Chinese friend that I work with who was brought to the US with 3 years of school left.  He says it was the worst 3 years of his life.  He was picked on, ridiculed, and didn't have a chance to learn anything because he could not speak the language.  I would never suggest this to anyone.  Find a way to let him finish high school in China, then come to the US for college.  This will also give him two years to start learning English in China, so he can be prepared when he comes to America.

In every way, he will be better off doing it this way.

[fivetrout]

Thanks David,
Actually...by the time Hong is here, it would be more like a year i believe for him left. He does have two married uncles with families that could likely take him in with a little palm greasing (maintenance I mean) I'm sure. Perhaps even his father? He would have to relocate to a new city, but one that he's familiar with. I will have to approach her carefully. The alternative would severely limit his ambitions as you stated. I wonder if that would change his status as a dependent?

Chris

[RobertBfrom aust]

Chris , having been on the other side of the coin in the beginning , I can only agree with what DavidE has said , my now wife and stepdaughter arrived here a couple of weeks before I met them for Daughter [ Sunyao ] to enter what is known as 10 th grade here .
 So after 6 months of learning English she joined a regular school , did not like it as they were trying to teach her what she had learned in her Chinese school several years earlier , at the end of the school year it was decided to re enrol her in the best international school in Shenyang , having done this she has crammed for 6 months to pick up where she left off and now over the last 2 years has risen again to No 1 in the school which she will leave in a couple of months to head for Uni , we also found that 2 years of living in the school for 6 days a week cost the same as 1 year of government school here in Melbourne not even boarding [ Saturday arvo till dusk on a Sunday she stays off campus with family , she has at the moment elected to do her Uni in China and then come out here for post grad courses in her particular sciences , since she went back to China she has kept up her English studies and now can pass any tests thrown at her including IELTS easily and as we always talk to her in English we are ensuring that she forgets nothing as she continues on , regards Sujuan and Robert .

[Robertt S]

You can apply for his visa after he graduates high school as long as you and his mother marry before his 18th birthday, you just need to allow enough time for the process to be completed before his 21st birthday. He needs to be IN the United States BEFORE his 21st birthday! Good Luck and Best Wishes for you and your new family

[David E]

Chris

I dont know the rules about dependent children as far as USA goes, but here in Aus, as long as the child is in full time education and does not have a job, and relies 100% on parental financial support, then he will qualify as a dependant.

I am sure that Robert S would have an answer at his fingertips and will chime in with the official USA perspective!!!

Ps...See !!, I told you Robert would come good...he just beat my post by 10 seconds....good service yes ?? !!!

[fivetrout]

Well... it seems the jury is in! Common sense needs to prevail here. I guess I need to plant that seed soon, show her your comments, and suggest she asks her family for their opinions as well. By the end of high school he may have his own ideas too. We all know how a girlfriend can effect things possibly too.

Thank you all for the support here!

Chris

[fivetrout]

As it turns out...she assures me he will be finished with high school by that time. And thinks a junior college is a good idea.

[Willy The Londoner]

It may not be too much of a problem.

As an Englishman sitting on the sidelines looking in on this one and from my experience on here in past four years it seems like it takes around two years on average to get a wife into USA on an immigrants visa.

So a good part of his schooling will be finished by then.

Willy

[Robertt S]

fivetrout,

It really depends on what method you use to complete the process and which service center receives your I-130 to process. If you use snail mail, it can take awhile, but China applicants can opt in to the electronic processing and avoid a lot of the delays of snail mail. I used the electronic processing myself and another member here used it also. It took 6.5 months for my wife's interview( successful) and I believe the other member's was just shy of 7 months for an interview ( also successful) If your petition is processed by the Texas Service Center you will be looking at about a 9.6 month wait for the NOA2( that is their current processing time listed at the USCIS site) If your petition goes to the Vermont Service Center you are looking at about a 6.9 month wait for the NOA2. After you receive the NOA2 your petition is forwarded to the National Visa Center in Portsmouth, New Hampshire(NVC) Your case will be assigned a new case number there and IF you have all your ducks in a row and use the electronic processing you can be in and out of NVC in 3-4 weeks. After NVC approves the I-130 they will close your case there and forward it to the Dept.of State who will then send you and your wife an appointment letter for the interview. After your wife receives the invitation letter she can set up medical appointments for her and her son at the approved medical facilities. Their interview will normally be scheduled between 20-45 days after the case is forwarded to the State Dept. So you are looking at about 8.5- 9.5 months if your petition goes to Vermont and 10.5-11.5 months if your petition goes to Texas. Keep in mind though that the processing times at the service centers is always changing so the time may be shorter or longer. When I sent my petition in California processed it and it only took about 3 months for the NOA2, but processing times have increased for everyone now due to the  http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis/menuitem.eb1d4c2a3e5b9ac89243c6a7543f6d1a/?vgnextoid=f2ef2f19470f7310VgnVCM100000082ca60aRCRD&vgnextchannel=f2ef2f19470f7310VgnVCM100000082ca60aRCRD

When they decided to do this they did not hire additional workers to handle the avalanche of applications and the service centers are bogged down with these applications on top of their normal exhausting load workload. So just use the extra time you have gathering evidence and the documents you will need for the process.   Regards, Robert

P.S.  The other member and myself both were CR-1 visas, fiancee visas are a different story and K-3 visas are usually converted at the NVC over to CR-1 or IR-1 depending on how long the couple has been married.
 

[David K]

Chris, I don't want to sound a negative note on what is obviously bringing you happiness,
but earlier on, David E and a number of others reported on some of the (non obvious) hazards
that can arise when one 'acquires' a chinese 'son in law'

Suggest you browse through the 'little emperor' topic
http://www.chnromance.com/index.php/topic,3594.msg61466.html#msg61466 -
there are links to related threads - 'just in case'

The Chinese notion of family and familial expectations differs from the Western one
much more than you  might imagine. There are women here in NZ that will do anything
- anything - to advance their one and only child - including marrying a westerner simply
so the son can acquire a western education that he would not have gotten otherwise :-)

So caveat emptor as they say

On another note, I am pleased that things have worked out for David E - I made
some pretty blunt recommendations earlier on, but I am sure David repackaged
them  diplomatically to achieve the desired result with the minimum of domestic disruption -
"A soft answer turneth away wrath" I seem to remember quoting...

And on yet another note, my eldest daughter married last weekend, and is taking up a job
in WA. Which means I have one reason to make a trip across the ditch;
IF Willy wants to meet up with David E, that would be another reason - so count me in.
And yes, I qualify in the appropriate age bracket  :-

Best
David K