When you said 100,000 rmb my first thought was that is not a bad price to pay. Then I realised that that were not going to pay YOU this but you were expected to pay it!
My mother in law has long since died. I gave nothing to my father in law although I have looked after him since, by giving a warm home in the winter months and paying for his cataract operations. But then I would have done the same for my western family as well.
Your lady is a 'used' women with a child. The chances of her finding a man in China to marry her are so slim that it is impossible to put a figure on it. She already left the family fold when she married the first time when she returned that was a bonus for them.
Her family should in fact be paying you to take her off their hands and to give her and her son a better life.
Her request is for one reason only and that is to show her family and friends just what a good catch she has made. It is to give her face amongst those that know her.
On here now are mainly ones who have settled marriages I do not think that any have paid out great sums. I do know that others who were on here have been asked for large sums like you but have long since left the relationship after not paying up and are no longer on here.
You give what you feel but do not be dictated to on this otherwise it will continue in this vein.
My wedding cost next to nothing. We did give out one red envelope as my wife wanted to give thanks to her church. 1000 rmb covered that!
The money I have is for my wife and myself. I have bought a home here and a car and I made sure that my wife will be financially stable after I leave this earth.
She did not ask for this I gave it to bit by bit as the years passed by. We have received from her family not given.
Personally I would tell her the dowry was not an option but that you would take care of things as needs arose. At least that way you would be getting an idea if it is you she loves or if you are just one the the RICH Foreigners that she can weedle around her little finger.
Willy
