Have you noticed that many ladies over 40 suck at pinyin. In many cases their English is better than their pinyin. QQ international translator is good but sometime gets it totally wrong. The problem with English to Chinese translations is that they translate literally the Webster's definitions. English is so full of slang that you can completely fool a translator into giving you the wrong translation. Be careful of these colloquialisms and idioms that make perfect sense to you and your cousins but are not proper English and will be interpreted by the translator as gibberish. "he was dead as a doornail" comes out as "he was dead". understandable but not as emphatic as you imagined. And some things translate verbatim. Exactly what you said but the trouble is they have a completely different meaning in China. "straight shooter" will translate exactly to straight shooter by the translator, how ever in America It means "One who is honest and forthright", In China it is someone that is good at shooting a gun or playing pool.
I need to go pee has more meaning than I need to "duck out" for a minute.
I am going to blow up your photo may get her a little upset.
Surprisingly "dick head" means pretty much the same thing in China. ie= asshole.
If you want to have a less confusing, meaningful conversation with a foreigner then remove all idioms and colloquialisms from your speech. Don't be verbose and poetic or eloquent just say it in the simplest terms you can think of.
Another thing that will help is what is called "Yoda talk". Where the subject, verb and adjectives are reversed from normal English speech. "You are a pretty girl" becomes " A pretty girl you are" It sounds weird to us English speakers but that is the way most of the rest of the word talks.
someone here showed me this translator. I use I the most often cause it gives me an idea of what I am about to say by translating back to English.
http://imtranslator.com/If you really must use slang then "check this out"
try this
http://www.slangdict.com/