I appreciate everyone's input - and yes Willy. I will keep everyone updated as to how things go. Either good or bad.
You are all correct in that I have to consider Mei's concerns also. If I give you any information about her it will not be to try to explain why I think she is the "one." That is too complicated, and really all my decision. But I do want to give you some information so that you can understand what her concerns are.
Simply put - she has to change her whole life to come here. She is middle class, has a job, owns a condo outright, has a car and has a 7 year old daughter living with her. What she does not have is love - and she has a friend who married a westerner and moved to the US.
So she sees this as a great opportunity to find love - we talked about this this morning - but she is not going to drop everything to move to the US on the chance that I might marry her. She said, quite unequivocally, that she would only move to the US if we are married.
I completely understand her feelings about that, and I think she is being quite practical.
Continuing on that practical note - she said that she does not want a big wedding. She just wants the legal ceremony. This is good news to me, and levels the playing field as to where we get married. I will still give consideration to what her family wants but I think face might not be such a concern.
My only issue right now is that she feels that we can get married when I come to meet her... is this an Eastern way of thinking? I have chatted with a few Chinese women - some on an acquaintance basis - and they all seem to have this same way of thinking...
"Oh, you just met someone? Do you love her? Are you going to marry her?"
I don't mean to make fun - but in our western commitment phobic way of thinking this is like the out of control downhill train...
So... am I going to marry her within a week of meeting her? The idea sounds impossible... Willy - you're right. Nothing is the same as actually being with someone.
The only thing I will say is that I feel like she is being sincere with me. Again, I am not going to try to justify my choices to anyone, but so far there have been no alarms going off in my head...
Anyway, I feel a little like a fish out of water... or maybe caught in a blender.... I don't know.
Still I look forward everyday to chatting with her. Oh well, a day at a time...
About the passport - I applied at the post office, and the clerk was very helpful. I applied for the 28 page book and the card ( in case I just wanted to go to Canada) and I paid to have it expedited just for my own reassurance. Total cost $225 and I should have it by the end of next week. It felt really strange to have to hand over my real birth certificate to someone else.
When I get the passport I will then use a service to get the Chinese visa. I could go to NYC but taking time off from work would make it cost more than using the service, so that is academic.
I really appreciate everyone's advice. You are all very helpful...