David E, I love what you wrote. I hope everyone will read this, to show just one of many different ways that culturally, we are very different from those we intend to marry. It takes a lot of patience and understanding from both sides to make a marriage work.
From my personal experience, there were little white lies, and then bigger lies. What disturbed me, was the ease to which lying happened. Maybe it was to save face, but in my opinion, when I know that she was lying to me, didn't this take face away from her? Maybe she thought she was saving face, but to me, it looked sneaky, deceptive, and showed little regard for me and what I thought. Or maybe, I shouldn't even say anything, because maybe my situation was more unique.
Anyways, while I do get what you are saying, the Chinese woman should also be realizing that lying is not always a great practice, and while we, the western men are trying to accept things like this as part of her culture, she should also be trying to learn that it is not a part of ours.