My search

[shaun]

My first trip was 10 days.  It still doesn't seek like it was long enough.  It was from April 1 arriving in China April 2 and returning April 11. It really was only a taste of things to come. (don't take what I am saying wrong.)  I returned June 9 for one month.  It gave me several weeks to think about things and then to make a commitment to her.  It worked well for me.  I really don't think one week is enough.  But then again you are not me.  Good thing huh!!!!! 

[Willy The Londoner]

I planned my first trip for six weeks.  I would not have made that journey to spend just seven days in China. But as Shaun said we are not you.

When you meet your lady she is going to want you to meet so many people in those few days that your head will be in a whirl at times.  I know on the first day if was dinner with 6  close family members. Next day it was China Tea with four more then it was dinner again with half a dozen aunts uncles and cousins and the next day we visited more uncles and aunts.  Then there was more meals with her friends etc etc.

That first week soon went by and although by then I had decided that the one I went to meet was not the one for me, I had already fallen in love with China.

So maybe I will say that a week is not enough for anyone who starts this journey.

Willy

[IrishGuy65]

I planned my first trip for six weeks.  I would not have made that journey to spend just seven days in China. But as Shaun said we are not you.

When you meet your lady she is going to want you to meet so many people in those few days that your head will be in a whirl at times.  I know on the first day if was dinner with 6  close family members. Next day it was China Tea with four more then it was dinner again with half a dozen aunts uncles and cousins and the next day we visited more uncles and aunts.  Then there was more meals with her friends etc etc.

That first week soon went by and although by then I had decided that the one I went to meet was not the one for me, I had already fallen in love with China.

So maybe I will say that a week is not enough for anyone who starts this journey.

Willy

I agree with Willy.  One week is not enough.  Two was not enough for me, to be honest.  So many people to meet, so many things to do, and not enough time with the girl you are there to see.  You need time for meeting everyone, you need time for doing things, and you need time with your lady to get to know each other.  In one week, you may have half a day at most with her... that's just not enough time.  I went on a mini vacation for one of my two weeks there just to be away and alone with her so we could get to know each other... and it still just wasn't enough.   There are so many differences you have to learn about and work on, and so many things to learn about each other.  If I were to do it again, I would find a way to make the trip a month long trip.  And I would also try to get back to China within 4 months or so.

As for falling in love with China, well... to each their own.  I hated some things in China, loved some things, and the rest were... meh.  I wouldn't want to live in China, the healthcare is terrible, driving would make me crazy, and people on the busy streets of the cities are generally quite rude.  Add the pollution, bad water, and other things... and you realize we have it pretty good in the West. 

[Martin]

My first trip, I went for a month.  If I had to repeat that first trip again, I would stay even longer.  Listen, I think there are things you are not factoring in.  I get what you are saying, about not wanting to take too much time off work, but in my opinion, 1 week is not nearly enough.  You are not factoring in jet lag, which will mess with your first couple of days there.  What if you really fall for your lady?  Will the remaining 6 days be enough for both you and her?  And if things fail miserably, will the remaining 6 days be enough to come up with plan B?  One other thought of mine, you are spending a lot of money on a plane ticket to only go for a week.  At the end of it all, its totally your choice.  You have to do what works for you.  We are only giving your our thoughts on the matter.

I just did not want to be in that club, so I don my cork hat, blow on the old didgeridoo and what I do with my Bong is none of your business,,,

I am not sure that I am comfortable with where this conversation is going.   

[Willy The Londoner]

Only comment I make is why do we always expect the women to change their ways and become Westerners?   At my age I still wanted that last adventure and China gave me that.

Driving where I live is a piece of cake, the air is clear and good. The streets here are never crowded.    There is a modern large dentist practice right outside my complex with equipment I have never even seen in the Private clinics in the UK. Quality medical treatment is available a bus or ferry ride away in Hong Kong.   I have for four years used the tap water for cleaning my teeth and they have not fallen out yet!  It depends where you choose to live as to what quality of life you have!

Coming from North East London my quality of life has improved.  Where I live I am now one person in a foreign environment. In London over the years I become one person in a foreign environment! 

I just did not want to be in that club, so I don my cork hat, blow on the old didgeridoo and what I do with my Bong is none of your business,,,

I am not sure that I am comfortable with where this conversation is going.   

Well as far as Oz is concerned - its gone down the pan with the 'Ashes'!

[john1964]

I too think that 1 week is not long enough, I usually stay for a month and that is still too short of time to be there, as for money, take as much as you can, you can always bring it back, I usually take between $6,000-$10,000 and always come home with plenty, we shop a lot for clothes for the wife as we dont like the western fashion and accommodation is cheap too, our last trip we went for a month and my wife for 6 weeks, we took $6,000 and came home with about $1,200. John.

[RobertBfrom aust]

I agree with most that has been said , however first things first , as the usa is a fair sized area where are you thinking of flying out of, and in which area of China does your lady reside , with so many new routes opening up to China and return , keep your eyes open because some of the Chinese carriers do not always go onto the mainstream aircraft sites.
Most of China will be very comfortable weather during Sept/Oct unless you are up in a mountain area , flip another 7 days in to your schedule as you will soon run out of days with only 7 on the ground 2 meetings in 2 different cities takes me 5 days ha ha , China is a big place and unless you are used to big cities you are in for a surprise , IG65 can give you an idea re presents , good luck , regards Sujuan and Robert . 

[daghoi]

My first trip lastet for two weeks and then I went back 2-3 months later for three weeks. We are all different, but I'd try to stay for at least two weeks. There are so many things to do and see. Two weeks will also give you the chance to go away for a few days.

I loved it there.  I had family that attached ey to to my native country, so I had to leave my China plans. Glad i tried though.

[JustJim]

I hear you guys - I am not going for long enough.

As it turns out she has vacation from Oct 1 to Oct 7.  She thinks that would be a good time so I am working around her schedule.

I am not sure what else to say.  I am sure China is a big and wonderful country with a whole lot to see...  but I am really just going to see her, right?  I am not being dismissive.  I am saying that I will be back in China again if we hit it off and there will be more time for sight seeing then.

I am probably being naive...   I know.   As it turns out I am going to lose most of three weeks of work anyways so I might as well extend the trip.  I am now up to 10 days in China.  I could add a few more.

I think she feels the same way about the two of us spending quality time together.  I will be sure to talk to her about it.

I seem to have found a regular flight in and out of the area I am going to and can book a round trip flight for under $1000.   This is good news for me.  I am not cheap but I like my money in my pockets, not someone else's.  And she suggested a very nice hotel for 348 yuan a night - that's about $57.   It is close to where she lives and I am not going to question her choice, that would be rude.  Someone else told me I could get a room for less, but at what cost would that be compared to just taking her advice on a room?

I will keep you posted on everything else as it comes up.  This site is such a good resource for me.  I do not know where I would be without all of your help and advice.   Thanks....

[David E]

JustJim
Early on in my quest, I made several trips to China where it did not work out with the particular Woman I went to meet. Each trip was planned for 2 weeks. It was obvious to me within the first few days that these relationship would not work. So...should this unlikely situation eventuate for you it is wise to have a back up plan...either bolt for home, or take the time you have to explore alternative Ladies...this could be done through local Agencies or simply getting out and about and amongst the locals. It is amazing how much attention a Western Man apparently alone will attract.

I sure hope you dont find yourself in this situation, but keep it in your mind that nothing is cast in concrete at this stage.

ps...Willy

It is an ancient Australian Aboriginal Taboo to write or speak the name of persons/things that have died.

If you do, they will send the Kadaicha Man after you and he will breathe in your ear and turn your brain into sand, making you a Zombie.

As you have now committed the sin of writing about the Aus Test Cricket Team that died a long time ago, we have sent the Kadaicha Man to get you.

You can recognise him if you are careful, he is very black, tall and thin and wears slippers made from Emu feathers so you cant hear him coming for you...be warned   

[Willy The Londoner]

If you do, they will send the Kadaicha Man after you and he will breathe in your ear and turn your brain into sand, making you a Zombie.

Damn. I thought that was just tinitus that had come on overnight.     

Oh well I doubt if anyone will see anything different in me.

Willy

[JustJim]

Dave -  I appreciate what you have to say about things not being cast in concrete at this point.

Originally when I first started this thread I was talking to two ladies and thinking that I might try to keep both going.  Indirect advice from Willy and others led me to see that just having one was the best idea.  Anyway "X" didn't measure up and now I am only interested in getting to know Mei.

Anyways, if things go south after I get there then I will wing it from there.  I don't think it is good for me to go in with a plan B already in place.  I am not going to stress over it though.  I am trying to learn as much Chinese as I can between now and then.  It will help me communicate with her and her family and if I do decide to pursue a plan B then I have a better chance of winging it.  Like you, I hope it doesn't come to that.

Mike - thanks for the advice about the jet lag.  I think when the time comes I will try to preload for that.  Also I tend to keep odd sleep hours and often go on less than 5 hours of sleep so I think maybe I am used to being a little sleep deprived.  Maybe that will help me.
I can see it now.... I will be walking around China like a zombie...  Damn that Kadaicha Man !!

I got my Pimsleur Learn Chinese cd's in the mail today.  Has anyone else tried their approach?  It sounds interesting. 

[Willy The Londoner]

I have tried every way to learn Chinese but I need discipline otherwise one day slips into two days missed then three then a week a month etc.  I have now found the best. A Chinese teacher comes to my home every weekday for one hour I have her contracted for twelve months at a time.

So ! cannot recommend any course that I have tried and given up on.

When you get here if things do not work out with the original lady the agency will be quick to fix you up with others!

Willy

[AbovetheLAW]

Rosetta Stone along with Youtube videos to fill in the gaps has worked wonders for me. I remember words now without even realizing it. Just the other day I told keshu I was hot and sleepy in chinese and she got very very very very excited and laugh. She said 'Wow! I have a chinese american boyfriend' Lol.

I honestly think if you put effort in everyday with any program it will work. I do 1 or 2 sections of Rosetta Stone every morning and they only take about 10 minutes each. Also there are a few Youtube teachers who are great. Im heading to China in about 2 weeks and I feel confident with my chinese. The word I made sure to remember was bathroom! Lol

[David E]

Once again here is my PERSONAL take on learning Chinese.

First off, I was completely gung ho to learn the language and have fluent and stimulating conversations with my wife in her language...what a hero !!!!!!

I diligently got into Rosetta Stone Program and I also used another Software Course called "Tell Me More".

Chinese is a bloody difficult language to learn. I am good with languages and can get by well in French, German, Indonesian and Russian...(and of course, English  )

My wife said to me one day early in our relationship that she would prefer we concentrate on her speaking English, and apart from some basic stuff, she advised that it would not be the best plan for me to try to learn fluent Chinese...apparently, Westerners make a complete balls up of the complexities of Chinese language and although the locals are too polite to laugh when you try to converse (dont want to take your face), they mostly are cringing inside at the mangling we give their language.

So I decided to perfect the use of a few key phrases..."I would like a cup of tea, or where is the nearest toilet, or you have a delightful pair of boobs  ....you get the drift, just the odd important phrase, along with "please, thank you and stuff like that"

Of course, if you plan to live in China, then you have a different ball-game, and a different time frame from which to begin to learn "properly"

So now, Ming and I have an outcome that we find works for us....she learns fluent English from me, and I give her big face within herself and with her friends, by speaking a little Chinese...but speaking it perfectly (thanks to my diligent and personal language trainer...my wife)

Just another opinion on the subject.