My search

[Willy The Londoner]

Hi think the rest on here will join with me when I say congrats Chris.

But make sure that you keep everything that you can to provide as evidence that your marriage is true and loving especially as you will be returning to US after just two weeks.

I am sure that the US authorities are harder to please than the UK and my government would need a lot of convincing that in less than 24 hours after meeting that you were married in a truly loving relationship.

I do not want to be dogmatic but probably Just Jim will have a slightly easier time with that process as he is coming back later to obtain the 'red book'

I agree with Mike my wife loses lbs when we go to the UK as she cannot find food she likes.

Willy

[fivetrout]

Went out for pizza, green garden salad, and rum cake and ice cream dessert tonight in Wuhan. Let not forget Corona beer! HEAVEN!!!!!  I explained pizza to Hong...and that she can add any ingredients she wishes for. She enjoyed the salad the most.

[fivetrout]

Yes, we collected every scrap of receipts from everything, a trunk load of pictures, 2 years of skype and e-mails. Also have photos with her mother and father who is extremely ill and not likely to be around for long. That's one reason we chose to marry quickly...for her parents. They love me, so no issues there.

[Arnold]

Well, Jim and Chris.. my Congratulations (and Blessing) to both of you and may it continue the way it has begun!
Love reading about Success's, they are much more enjoyable

[JustJim]

I am back in the USA.  I have to tell you that I feel sad to be back here... 

I am determined to do all that I need to do to get back there in two months.

Right now I am trying to reach Mei on QQ but she might be picking up her daughter from school.  We have been missing making a connection since I left China.  I check in and she has written a few lines...I write a few and then when I check in at the next airport she has written a few in reply.  It will have to do for now.  I am going to get on the road and get myself to my house.  It is a 2 1/2 hour drive.

I will write a lot more when I do get home.  Every situation is unique, and I have some questions for you all.

Okay, I will write later.

[JustJim]

Well, the first thing I have to deal with - now that I am home - is the cold that I probably got from the lady who was sitting next to me on the plane, all the way from Hong Kong to New York.  She was coughing most of the way.  Actually I am hoping it is just a cold.  On the layover in Vancouver I thought I might get a chance to move seats, but 15 minutes before the plane left it started to fill up with late arrivals, and an almost empty plane went to completely packed in a matter of minutes.

I have the rest of the week off so I am just resting and trying to get back on sleep schedule.  My kids were over last night and I showed them photos from the trip, and then we watched an episode of Star Trek, and I dozed off.  Then when they left I sat in front of the TV for two hours, and I wondered why I wasn't sleepy at all.  Before I left I had tried to adjust my sleep schedule and I don't think it helped at all.  I think next time I will just wing it.

I liked flying Cathay Pacific, and they seem to have a regular schedule out of JFK. I liked leaving late at night and arriving early in the morning.  I checked their schedule for December and they have the same time slots so I think I will go for those.  I also discovered that Saturday and Sunday flights are just as cheap as middle of the week flights, so I think I will play around with that. 

Anyway, it should be so much easier to do this again, now that I have done it once.  I have my passport and visa in hand, I know what to expect, etc.

Stupid question, but I won't need to have hotel reservations and proof of airplane tickets now, right?  I just needed them to get the visa, right?

Oh, and a tip that I have not read about here...you have to fill out a two part card when you enter China.  They make it seem even more important than a passport.  You fill it out, they keep one half, you keep the other half, and then you turn your half in when you go to leave the country.

And one more thing...if you carry too much baby formula with you you could be subject to arrest..!  I heard that over the PA system.  I couldn't believe it....baby formula....

I am a bird in the hand kind of guy, so I am going to use Visarite to get my single certificate - just like Chris did.  The extra cost will balance out against  having to make extra trips in China when I get back there.

Now I mentioned that every situation is unique.  Here is mine.

Mei is doing well in China.  She has an apartment which is paid for.  She wants to keep it.  She lives in Guangdong, which is warm in the winter.  Well, compared to where I live.  Apparently it is just peanuts to pay all the parking fees and condo fees, and I think it would be a great place to go to in the winter months.  I am a Union electrician, and it can get slow in the winter here, so I figure why not just head to China in those months?

But I wonder what challenges we will face trying to love in two places.  Especially if she is just a new arrival to this country.  Obviously, right now it is not an issue.  But when she does get here I wonder what restrictions will be put on us.  The biggest concern is her daughter and schooling.  I will look into options for her.

Oh well, this makes life more interesting...

[Pineau]

Sounds like you have all the critical stuff under control. A couple more trips and you will be a master.

I didn't realize you were going to be there that long or You and your lady and Lisa and my wife could have had dinner together and discussed immigration pitfalls. My wife is still in Guangzhou and we are waiting for our daughters VISA. Its been approved and issued and she is just hanging out waiting for it to arrive. Then they are headed back to the states.  My wife now thinks se is a veteran of the embassy visa office. They should exchange QQ numbers.

[Pineau]

They even questioned me. Because I was out of the USA for so long I had to prove that America was my country of domicile. Mortgage payments and utility bills in my name did the trick. But I was certainly shocked when they asked me to prove which country I lived in.

[JustJim]

This is what I love about this site.  Getting feedback and being able to network with guys and gals who have been through the process is such a big help.

Chris was right about Visarite. I went to their site and downloaded the form I needed to fill out and I filled it out and forwarded it to Mei.  She took the form to her home town official and they said that it was good, I just need to get it notarized through Visarite.  By the way - this is what Visarite also recommends - check the form with the local authority first.  Now all I need to do is to send it to them.  For those that want to know - it will cost me $100 more than going to the consulate in Ghanzhou...but - I do not have to make that trip there now.  Add in the gas for the trip, the time involved, and the other headaches and I feel like it is a wash as to the cost.

And Mei wants to QQ with Pineau's wife.  This is also good for both of us.  Sometimes I have a hard time communicating to Mei that this process is not that easy.  My gal is very confident that everything will go just swimmingly.  I hope so, but I am cautious about counting those chickens, as they say.

Anyways, I do not know where I would be without this site.  I have told Mei about it, and she also thinks it is great.

I know that I have not written much about our relationship, and have stuck more to details about the whole process.  I hope everyone understands that this is just the way I am.   If I was to say anything about Mei it would just be to say how lucky I feel to have met her, and how she has exceeded my expectations.

Anyways. thanks for all the help, and I hope my writing about my experiences is also helping someone.

[Willy The Londoner]

I know that I have not written much about our relationship, and have stuck more to details about the whole process.  I hope everyone understands that this is just the way I am.   

That's the main purpose of this forum- to see another through what may appear to be a minefield at first.  To hear about the relationship itself is just a bonus although it could well convince someone that has not been here and has not done it yet to plan their journey A S A P.

Willy

[JustJim]

So what is the custom in China concerning wedding rings?

I didn't notice men wearing them and on the women I noticed that they mostly just wore engagement rings.  There did not seem to be an engagement ring and a wedding ring.

I am trying to understand because I haven't bought Mei a ring yet and I want to know what I should be looking for.  We talked about it a little today and there was a bit of a language barrier over such a simple thing as "what do you want?"   

I can understand how she feels.  She doesn't want to be a burden, but at the same time she doesn't realize that she is not a burden in the least, and I want to try to fulfill her dreams.  I don't think she will tell me exactly what she wants so I was hoping to divine what she wants possibly by finding out what is customary.

I am sure you guys realize my situation here so any advice will be helpful.   Thanks...

[Arnold]

Jim, you know Women all over the world are similar. They say they don't want much, but mean give me something nice and beautiful. As for wedding rings, I can only say what I have done (it might work or it may not for anybody else), I had gone out of my way on my first Wife and bought a nice size (1 carat) and upgraded it later to an 1 3/4 carat for our 10th anni. . Instead of just putting it away in a corner, I'd had it re-sized to fit Qing's finger. She knows (I wasn't secretive about it) it was worn by my first Wife, she also knows how much it means to me (I designed it) and she now wears it proudly.
Anyway, either go shopping with your Lady and pick it out together (as many have done here) or surprise her with what every you can afford and think is appropriate. I'd buy both rings (I had mine put together as one too) and enjoy her reaction receiving it.

[LP]

 Quote form Jim: {So what is the custom in China concerning wedding rings?

I didn't notice men wearing them and on the women I noticed that they mostly just wore engagement rings.  There did not seem to be an engagement ring and a wedding ring.}                                         It depend on where you go in China you will notice some men wearing  wedding rings.My soon to be father in-law wear his and my soon to be brother in-law too.Sammy told me I have to wear one too so the women there will see I belong to someone.My lady is very jealous,I can't take photo with other women even though it's harm·less.She tell me that they will put it on the internet telling everyone this is their boyfriend and I'm saying this is cazy

[Neil]

My wife's nephew was wearing a wedding ring with a big rock.  It's a man's ring, but it was huge.  Rich kids...

When I bought my wife's ring, I had read that Chinese prefer white gold to yellow gold.  It's not true.  My wife's family has some beautiful old golden jewelry (ear rings and bracelets and some rings).  I would suggest that you're better off to go with something simple and pure than to go with something that looks more expensive than it is. 

I bought my wife a ring, then bought myself a simple gold ring at home.  She asked me a hundred times, how much it cost.  I never told her, and she gave up asking.  It's simple, and it's only left my finger once, and she knows it. 

[LP]

i have to agree with  what Neil and  Arnold said.I bought a pair gold ring at home for my wife to be and I and told her  about it.She  too asked me a hundred times, how much it cost.  I did the same thing Neil did I never told her,but the thing about her she don't gave up asking it.Also she has asked  me many time to show it to her but I told her No!When we get the red book you will see it..I'm old fashion