So, we've been really busy working on Lisa's visa, with the help of RoberttS, so I haven't had much time between work and talking with her. Today is the first day I have had spare time in a week. It's a process, that's for sure!
So, let's see about our story. OK, yes... we talked while living our lives. It made it like, at times, we were actually together. She, eating dinner, and me, eating breakfast... talking over a meal. We'd both go to the kitchen to clean up, together. I feel like we bonded through doing things together on FaceTime, like eating, movies, cleaning up. Almost like real dating, except there's no worry about the kiss goodnight, or anything else
So, during this time we began planning the trip to China. She is a university teacher, and has off during the summer, so we made plans for me to come to China in July. If you want to read about the trip, I posted in the trips to China section... can be found here:
http://www.chnromance.com/index.php/topic,3757.0.htmlAnyway, we discuss many things about the trip... she insists on making hotel reservations, because she can get a cheaper rate. Like most Chinese women, she seems to have a million contacts, and had a friend in a travel agency that was able to book all the hotels during my trip, 13 total nights, for about 5000 rmb. Abot 384 rmb a night, and some VERY nice rooms. I mentioned this before, but I love the frugality of the traditional Chinese woman!!! My problem with this was only learned later, when I found out she paid for it all, and wouldn't allow me to pay for it. I feel so cheap, letting her pay 5000 rmb... Many of our discussions were about what to do for 2 weeks together. We both wanted to be away from the family and friends, to find time to be alone and get to know each other better, which is the main reason for the trip. If we stay in Shunde, we will constantly have to spend time with family and friends... and not have a lot of time to talk, etc.
So we first talk about Jiuzhaigou, which is a beautiful scenic place. She knows I like mountains and cooler weather, and since it will be July in southern China, getting away to a cooler place is a must for me, LOL. After much research, we find out it is just too expensive. At least, Lisa thinks so and decides to look elsewhere. In the meantime, we talk about Dinghu mountain, and also Hong Kong and Macau. These are all one day trips, so not a big deal, and we will take Amy with us to Dinghu Mountain. We look at several places, but she mentions over and over during our conversations that she has always wanted to go to Lijiang. So, it was pretty much settled. We decide on 6 nights there... enough time away from everything, and still time for me to meet everyone and for her to show me around her city of Shunde. We eventually decide not to plan anything there, just to enjoy ourselves and find out what there is to do, and explore, on our own.
A glimpse of things to come... she is always happy to talk with me, and ready for me to come to China. We both hate waiting so long, but it is the soonest I could come based on my job. i wouldn't get approved for time off earlier, or later, during her summer vacation, due to various events we have at our casino during the summer. I'm a poker dealer at Delaware Park, in Delaware, if I have never mentioned this. So we have to suffer through our waiting. Anyway, several things happen in the months prior to our meeting, which make her worried about meeting and tell me not to come to China. One, is just her friends telling her it is a bad idea. She wavers, and we talk for several days about it until she comes to her senses. One time, she gets a blood test that tells her she is anemic, and she decides that it is too much for me to deal with a sick, dying woman and too much for her because she is so sick. I tell her to eat some foods with more iron. 3 days, and 4 blood tests, later, she gets a good blood test and is fine again. The medical field in China is very poor. Have I mentioned that?
Anyway, the gist of the story is this: Anytime something bad happens, she flips out and doesn't want me to come to China. Happens 4 times in 2 months leading up to our meeting in China. As I said, a glimpse of things to come. If you've read some other posts, you'll see she has flip flopped several times on the engagement AFTER the visit... again because of friends, and bad things happening with her family, and mis-diagnosed issues with her. I will say that, at this point, I feel secure and confident in her decisions now, otherwise I would never be moving forward with the fiancee visa application.
Again, during these times, I have to thank Gerry, and more importantly, his wife Fiona, for talking with Lisa and giving her positive feedback about America, American men, and the life here. I know many have experienced, and are still experiencing, these ups and downs. I can understand in some ways, after the visit... she basically has a simple, comfortable life in China, and she is picking up everything and basically starting over here. It's very scary, especially for someone who has led the simple, comfortable life that she has led for so many years.
So, leading up to the trip, we talked about 3 things (mostly), her not wanting me to come to China, what we would do while I am there, and simple, normal daily conversations. Hectic, frustrating, and sometimes very tiring. But we made it through!!!
So, we are up to the trip to China, which you all can read about. The postscript to the trip, and up to our current situation, in my next episode
