On April 27, Lisa and Amy arrived in New York. I picked them up and brought them home to their new apartment. Their biggest excitement? Seeing the blue sky. Amazing how different the quality of air between Chinese cities and American
At that time, I still did not have a house. The house I was going to buy fell through, as some foundation issues were found, and I wasn't going to pay the $10k-$15k to have the foundation repaired. So, I continued to look at houses, now with Lisa and Amy, while we lived in a one bedroom apartment. I could have upgraded to a two bedroom, but Amy said she was happy to sleep on the couch, and that the couch was more comfortable than her bed in China. Considering that I felt like I was sleeping on bricks when I was in China, I can understand that sentiment. We were outbid on our next choice, and the 2nd home we got under contract turned out to be infested with rats and termites... The 3rd home we got under contract, I saw initially without Lisa and Amy. When Lisa saw it, she immediately said it was no good. Because the door opened in the middle of the bedroom wall. She says the bed should be out of the way when you look into the bedroom. So, the saying is "happy wife, happy life", right? Finally, we found a nice place, 2200 square feet, for only $185,000. There are several homes in this area for sale, the lowest after ours is $229,000. So, we bought the house. I believe it was August 8 that we closed. 3 1/2 months later.
We have a lot of work to do on the house. There was an old lady that lived here with two cats. She smoked... a LOT. We had to change the carpets and paint the walls and ceiling to get rid of the smoke and cat odors. Many other things still need to be done. It will take us a few years, then once the house is up to par, we'll remodel the kitchen and bathrooms. I'll post up pictures next week. Lisa has already started digging up the ground for a garden, even though there are roots everywhere from a maple that used to be there. So, the house is great, and we are happy with it... finally!
Amy started school at Delaware Technical Institute, taking English classes to improve her English sufficiently to pass the TOEFL and start her college education. He English is not bad, but she needs to work on her actual use of English. She talks to friends and family back in China daily, and Lisa and Amy often talk in Mandarin at home, so she doesn't get the practice hearing, and speaking, English that she needs. Plus, she really needs to improve her vocabulary so that she can understand the information she will get in college classes. Worse, for her, is she has decided she wants to get into pediatric nursing... which has a vast vocabulary all its own, and which I will not be able to help her with. She started the last week in August, and is doing well so far. She's made a couple of friends, one of which is another Chinese girl whose parents recently moved to the USA.... so again, more speaking Mandarin and not enough practice in English...
As for the relationship. It started out great. We were all very happy to be together. I would come home from work and almost get tackled because Lisa was happy to see me. We talked about a lot of things, and learned a lot more about each other. Now that we have the house, we are tired... me from work and fixing things around the house, and Lisa from her gardening and taking care of all the household chores. Plus, she passed the written drivers test and we are looking for a car for her to start practicing for the road test. (I'm scared!) And she's also doing work looking for a job, now that she has her EAC and SSN. She wants to teach Chinese here, and there are many opportunities. But, she has to get a teaching certificate, which will be a little more difficult.
There are problems, just like in any relationship. But, for the most part, we have good communication and love to get us through it all. The differences between who I talked to every day on video chat and the lady I met in China, and who Lisa is here, are many. The mundane existence is something I guess we never really think about, and it is a constant culture clash. A lot of work. Is it worth it? I think, for us, it most definitely is worth it. For those thinking about this step, I have to admit I think I'm a pretty good planner and I am usually good at thinking ahead and seeing the future... but there is a lot I didn't think about and account for, even with everyone here helping, opinions, and stories. I believe I rushed this too much (we knew each other just over a year) because there are just so many little culture differences. I should have taken more time spending with her in a mundane, day to day existence so that we could get a better feel for each other and make adjustments before having her leave everything she knew to come here and be with me. Note that we are happy together, and we are working things out... but all the added pressures for her being here... new, alone, in a completely different culture and environment... really make things more complicated and harder for her. I worry about her daily, even though she says she is fine and happy. I believe once she is working, and she has her driver's license she will be better. My biggest issue is that I work so much that I don't get to spend enough time with them... so I have started to take a day off every few weeks, so we can start doing some more things together. My brother and sister in law want to take them to Philadelphia, to see all the historic sites there. I think they will enjoy that very much. They also LOVE the farmer's markets, but unfortunately they are only open on weekends, and I work weekends. So the days off I'm taking are usually Saturdays so we can visit the farmer's markets and do other things they like to do.
Overall, a lot of ups and downs... fortunately, many more ups than downs. And, we know each other better every day. Amy is happy with her school, and she talks every day about her day and has some fun story about her day just about every day. She's such a happy girl! Lisa and I have a good relationship, and I can see it getting even better every day. I'm very happy and lucky.
I'll post some pictures soon... hopefully, the radishes, lettuce, and carrots Lisa planted will get harvested soon, so I can post some pictures of those also.
