All About China > Share your love story

Just when........

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JohnB:
When Jing 1st arrived in the States, I introduced her to the near- by Spokane Chinese community...a few hundred that meet every 2nd Sunday
of each month, in a Church. In retrospect, I was of the assumption based much on the wordage of this forum that Chinese have an easy time
integrating with their own. Anywhere. It never dawned on me that this would have the opposite affect on Jing. In addition to this once- a- month
meeting there are the usual get togethers of much smaller groups of Chinese. It was like maybe at the 3rd go or so, it didn't take long, that Jing
was accosted by a few of these women. Christian soldiers. In Mandarin. It shook Jing to her core.
In my opinion, brow beating evangelists/ fundamentalists are the ilk of the civilized world.
Does not matter if they are Christian or Muslim.

Back to Jing. She is unwilling to change for change's sake. Unwilling to adapt so readily, I think the local Chinese community impatient with their new
recalcitrant prospects, or maybe Jing is a slow learner afterall.
In retrospect, think of it this way, the only Western man close to Chinese assimilation is Willy. Still, he has not shaved his head, dressed in orange robes
and white sneakers, or drives a taxi. Well, I suppose his mandarin is improving. Western men do not do...assimilate. Or maybe, Willy is 'difficult'.

I think China must have been built on consensus. Any hope of an independent thinking wife may be a few years down the road.
Jing does not think selfish Chinese any longer. Jing realizes she is a very proud China woman but understands not all things China are good. So time on
experience is my ally with Jing.
It is a long & frustrating road to navigate but I will not change a thing. Just my perseverance as it stretches itself out.

QQ is Jing's bible to the western world. Amazing what QQ influence has on Jing. It can be brutal or can be good. It depends on which forum she is
plugged into. For us, as their Western husbands/ boyfriends, whatever, for us to sit at the computer & try as best we can...it is a difficult scenario to present,
of just what are our wife's thoughts, based on what we, as foreign husbands think. There is no cookie cutter approach to problem resolution.

Vince G:
Florida is boring and part of the "Bible Belt". Which mean every weekend you get a different christian social group knocking at the door. Here they target the Hispanics for some reason?  I have thought of checking Indonesia but it is  a far cry from my way of living? So maybe just a visit. I have seen some chinese women have Muslim listed as their religion. Not sure how well they are now after the car bomb in T-sq? Besides I can't see dropping a relationship over religion. It's not a sin with God. It's a man made rule. All of it is in every religion.

Just hope David's wife doesn't realize the mistake after it's to late.

David E:
Thanks again Guys for the help and advice.

There have been many good points canvassed, and much for me to contemplate.

There have been new developments in the last few days, but first let me respond to those of you who have been kind enough to get involved in MY little problem.....a special thanks to those PM's (you know who you are) offering help and advice....you all cannot imagine how it feels at this time to have so many people in my corner  ;D ;D

I guess, in summary, I am old enough to have lived a life full of wonderful things, and full of various crisis along the way...its a function of growing old. There is very little in the way of crisis that will unhinge me..........hurt, yes, disappointed, yes, angry, yes...but destroyed...NEVER !!

Vince.......changing religion must only be done from dep wothin our heart...never to satisfy an external condition, in that I agree with you. I cannot see me changing my "religion" just to stop a woman leaving...that would betray one of the rocks on which I have built my life. And to even contemplate changing from an Aethiest (just as important to me as your various religions are to all of you) would be similar to the thought of removing my testicles without anaesthetics with a rusty razor-blade) !!!!!!!!! To change from a Aethiest to a Muslim...well I have no words to describe this...it defies the definition of madness.

Having said that, I CAN contemplate the thought of living with and loving a woman who had a different religious view to mine.....been there , done that...Mings Buddhism was never and issue and if she truly and passionately wants to be a Catholic, then I could deal with it in turn, provided that her conversion did not include me as a condition, which is NOT the case put forcibly to her by the Scaleys.

To Arnold and Quing...Ming is highly qualified...by Chinese standards...she has a Degree from Beijing Uni in Electrical Engineering....a 4 year degre no less. However, I also did a lot of Physics and Engineering stuff as part of my first degree which was in Chemistry and I was surprised to discover that Ming could not explain Ohms Law, or Faraday's or any other fundamental fact on which Electrical Engineering is based. So I dont think her qualification is worth diddly in Aus (neither does the Aus Education system...hence her need to go back to College to update...which was where she met the Scaleys)

So I concede, like most Chinese women she is really street-smart where money and daily living stuff is concerned, but has a very limited knowlege or interest in more fundamental life situations requiring deep levels of self- analysis and interaction with different and unique external perspectives....but I knew that and was ready for it....I was not looking for a female version of Einstein...just a warm, happy and loving woman...I was happy to handle all the other hard stuff !!!

Addded to that (which has been so correctly stated in this thread)...QQ and all opinions coming from Chinese persons are ALWAYS true...even when they are rubbish and totally contradictive of what I or any Western Person might say.....and that is probably the biggest problem we all face in this situation...it takes a loooooong time to overcome this basic frustration.

Enough rambling........down to reality ....

I asked her to tell me the name of the Church so that we could both go along to see the Head Priest and get the view "from the top" as to what he (and the Pope) thought about Catholics convertees who had an existing husband with no religion....was it acceptable, would she burn in hell....I hoped that he would bring a more rational perspective to the whole issue ( mmmmm :o :o...that's an oxymoron...a rational catholic Priest). I learned that she was dealing with a Private Church (did you ever hear of such a thing) and that she had to communicate directly with these Scaleys...and get this...MONEY had changed hands for her to buy a "Platinum" ticket to heaven................followed by a promotion to a "Diamond" ticket if she got me to convert and also pay some more MONEY.

Now I am busily engaged on a vigorous, vicious, balls to the wall, no holds barred pursuit of these SCAMMERS...I will make their life a living Hell for evermore..........they have no idea what horror is coming up the slope.

Watch this space.......

Arnold:
 ??? Ticket's to Heaven? I heard of one way tickets to Mars, but this takes the Cake without question!
Man, if I was near your City.. I'd join you to kick some ass with these Bastards. Fight one Scam and here comes the next...

shaun:
You might check to see if the roots of this religion leads to Ada, Michigan.   It sounds more like Amway than a religion.


Calling them scam artists rather than Christians would be more accurate.  One can't buy their way to heaven via Platinum, Diamond, or a good lager.

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