Issues of right or wrong

[Shane]

i will GLADLY share all the letters we have written
if you like. since you did not hear the phone call i made to apple, where she took blame and said the agency is not at fault..

[Vince G]

Scott Rob and others, I am not up to an argument with any here. But fact is fact. It hit home hearing this. I know I have wrote of this before so I'm not going nuts. Wrote a woman for like a year and all the while she kept saying I was the only one. We didn't make wedding plans but we were suppose to be committed, only to find she was just waiting for the first guy to make it there. Like it was a race of who crossed the finish line first. After realizing it I'm glad I didn't win the race.  

I didn't know the translator or have any communication with them. Just the girl I wrote. At the time I had a hard time trying to figure the bad phone calls and hang ups.

So I know Shane's feelings in this and it's not right no matter what anyone says. If I'm being honest and open she should do the same.

[Shane]

doesnt matter my letter to wendy i am DONE turn me over before i burn. I thought this was a support group not a defend the agency's and chnlove.. oh yeah he knows her BIG differance wonder if he gets a kick back too.. I know he loyalty is with his friend who was at his wedding apple its easy to see in his posts.
here is my last post its the letter I wrote to wendy ending it. If you want the history showing me her intentions while still talking to others after saying she wasnt i will post them. other than that im done.


Dear Xia,
I am totally upset now. I will post what I recieved fromk your OTHER web meeting last night BEFORE MINE. why lie to me. Why mislead me. I am done with ChnLove and with an attempt to find my mate ..maybe you should know someone else is also done with you the person that sent me this letter i will post also no longer will write.He is a very nice man and i talked to him on the phone this morning when i woke.. as he gave his number to me. I am NOT happy you would mislead me and lie to me and break my heart this way. I love you i probably always will. But the distrust I now have will not allow me to persue this any further. Why this would happen either by you or apple is totaly out of line. you both should be ashamed.
I hope you enjoy toying with Men lives and emotions it sheds a whole new light on everything.
I am done write me if you want.. but not through this agency or apple after being lied to i do not want any contact with china love as i will call and write to express my displeasure with this action.
Take care have a great life I hope you find hapiness.
I hope you dont destroy other men as you have done me.

Hi Shane,
I just by chance last night saw you were going to have a webcam visit. So out of curiosity I searched the forum and saw who you were talking to. And then when you stated her name on the shout portion on the forum and what time I was sure. You should know that I had a webcam visit with Wendy just before you did last night. She told me I was the only one she was talking to. I can email you her last letter to me if you want. I hated to tell you this, but thought you should know. I don't know where you are from, but if you want to call me to ask any questions, my cell number is 540-798-XXXX. I live in virginia in the US.
I'll probably post that there is a little underhandedness going on with the
Shenzhen Oriental LOve Consulting Co. But I wanted you to know about this first. I knew she was going to talk with you before I did the webcam, but did not say anything. Except to ask if she had come to any decisions as to who she was picking. And I watched her online ID when she was talking with you. She talked to you from about 10:05pm or so my time until about 10:37pm. About the same length of time she talked with me.Anyway, I'm sorry, I will not contact her again unless it is to confront her on this issue.

thanks for tearing me to pieces
Is this love for another ?
Was yours now lost and alone
Shane

[UK Mark]

Shane.. Its clear you have been hurt bad and for that i send you my condolences , if that happened to me i would be as upset as you.

You are the injured party of that there is no doubt , Clearly Xia's actions have caused this , some men do it to the women , clearly some women do it to the men , i suppose its like a 'insurance policy' if one relation doesnt work to plan theres a backup one.

As for the translator .. I suppose Xia is her customer and so she works for her as you are the customer of chnlove , so the translator should just say whatever the lady wants to say and to whoever she wants to say it to , BUT if the translator sends seperate notes / comunications well thats a bit different as they are then acting with independance.

I can't say much to make you feel better , but this is a forum of information and support .. so you have mine

best wishes , maybe if you feel you want to try finding your partner this way again you will have more luck ,

UKM

[wilsonlee71]

Here is my 2 cents ...
Yes, it definitely hurts to be betrayed … but are you really? What commitments have you really made to her? Even if you have, how can she be sure? This is the way of the “game” unfortunately. Also, I don't pretend to understand them, but understand that they might feel quite helpless … cause there really isn’t much they could do, except to maybe use some very strong words to hopefully get one of us to go and visit them and maybe something will happen, meanwhile just passively waiting and waiting, all the while not getting any younger!

Many of you especially Mike had taught me well! I am going to China to meet up with this girl without any preconditions at all. I know for a fact that either she or her translator was writing to others while she was singing me all the sweet words, before. As for now, I don’t know and I don’t want to know.

All I can say is that there are two ways to go about this, either you take the time to let the relationship strengthen over time (if she is also willing to wait), or you go over there to meet with her – with no expectation of the outcome – to find out for the both of you if either parity is right for each other and what commitments can be made.  I chose to take the 2nd option.

-W-

-------------------

One more thing, I was like you, I hid my profile from the first EMF I got back from her, and I have never written to anyone else either. It sucks to have to go through this, but if you really like her, this may simply be part of the journey ...

[Shane]

oh shit forgot to post my complaint letter to chnlove here it is
From:  shane mcdonald
To:  Chnlove Customer Care
Date:  07 Jun, 2009 GMT
 
 
 
I knew better i want a refund i was lied to led on and betrayed .. is the only objective to steal as much from men as they can.I mean leading us on chartging us for emfs, I think i am done .. the agencys your translators or the girls have broken me into pieces. My profile says NO GAMES
yet i was played like a harp. please read all my emfs look into this as i also have the cell numbers which were given by another man for apple the translater and the girl i thought was mine. This is a game playing with emotions im destroyed .. in love and mislead to get there. toying with men isnt nice
I feel like a pawn in a game and my head was taken off.

[Danny]

Shane, you have my sympathy. I think having a good break from all this would be a good idea. Sometimes this strange and very serious game we play here becomes the cause of a great deal of sadness and upset. I can only suggest, speaking from experience, that now is a time to attend to the other parts of your life, to catch up with good friends you have perhaps neglected, your work or pastimes you enjoy. There is no quick and easy way of getting over an experience like that.

I have had something very similar to what you have gone through, and the only thing to keep in mind is that the pain passes. Think about all the women you have loved and lost over the years. While at the time you may really want to throw yourself off a very tall building, this feeling passes. And after months, even years, you wonder to yourself what all the fuss was about.

Take care of yourself.

[Paul Todd]

I feel for you, my friend. I expect most of us here have been turn over by women at some point,so your in good company.Including Martin.
 Given time and a little perspective you may come to a different conclusion than you have at the moment. So pick yourself up,dust yourself off and start all over again. Dreams still out there,don't give up!

[Ed W]

has anyone stopped to think about how she feels? What she's thinking?

We're only getting half the story and she has no voice. I understand Shane may feel betrayed in this relationship but has anyone thought that there's more to it?

Shane, I can understand how you feel but I think you should stop the repetative posts saying the same thing and lose the drama-queen act. We got the point already.

We're a support group. Our purpose is to support one another and promote resolution of confusion and encourage the venture.

[Arnold]

We will " NOT tolerate bad language in our Forum of ANY kind .
Shane , as a memeber of this Forum of over 150 member's , you will get all angle's of a problem facing one of our member's . So please kindly ( even under your circumstanes ) do not attack and make use of foul language . This will not only loose your support of most member's but also the respect . Remember , we here to listen , help , support ...even if it's not to your liking , that's because you will not have a 150 Guy's thinking the same as you want them to think . As I have told you before , this should make you stronger , not take you down any lower then what it is already .

[Shane]

fair enough arnold i'll curb that language but if im attacked .. dont expect me to sit on my hands

[Arnold]

Under Admin. order , Shane will be Banned for one day to cool off .

[Ed W]

This will likely serve more than one.

Thanks Arnold.

[Danny]

thanks for tearing me to pieces
Is this love for another ?
Was yours now lost and alone
Shane

Here's a song for you, Shane, something for you to sing as you walk away something that didn't work out - the Johnny Cash song, "Understand Your Man":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipjaLMd8TqM

And here are the words:

Don’t call my name out your window, I’m leavin'
I won’t even turn my head.
Don’t send your kinfolk to give me no talkin'
I’ll be gone, like I said.

You’d just say the same old things
That you be sayin' all along,
Just lay there in your bed and keep your mouth shut,
Till I’m gone.
Don’t give me that old familiar cryin cussin' moan

Understand your man
I'm tired of you bad mouthing
Understand your man

You can give my other suit to the Salvation Army,
And everything else I leave behind --
I ain’t takin' nothin' that’ll slow down my travelin’
While i'm untangeling my mind.

I ain't gonna repeat, what i said anymore
While i'm breathing air that ain't been breathed before.
I'll be as gone as a wild goose in winter
Then you'll understand your man

Meditate on it!
Understand your man
You hear me talking?
Understand your man
You remember what i told you?

[Martin]

There are many honest women that use this site.  If you are still interested in meeting someone, there is someone out there for you.  But it is up to you Shane.