Some little-known Information

[David E]

I realise this hread is for assistance in wading through the multitude of requirements of the Aus Imigration Service, but I thought it useful for potential partners of Chinese wives to give a little insight on some of the lesser known quirks you will find as you go through this journey.

It is not an exhaustive list, but is a chronicle of what I have found after now being married to Ming for nearly 3 years.....

The good news is that, over time you will get used to them, the bad news is that if you want to change any of them she will smile sweetly, pat you on the head...and do nothing....

1) At least 3 pairs of slippers WILL be placed at any door inside your home, This is likely to extend to 5 or 6 pirs beside the front door. Remember, for a Chinese person, if your bare or stockinged feet touch the 
    floor...you will die.

2) Various bits of dangly stuff will appear all over the house, they are mainly red in colour and signify the protection you will get for enough food, enough health and enough money, they can be on doors, plants,
    bed-heads, mirrors...anywhere.

3) At the slightest hint of rain, wet washing will appear in many places inside your home, if rain falls on washing outside it will be ruined and you will die.

4) There is NO translation from English to Chinese of the words "I am not really hungry, I just want a snack" ALL meals will be full-blown monster productions with snacks taken at hourly intervals between meals.
    Snacks are only marginally smaller than full meals.

5) Any left-overs from meals will be kept in the fridge because waste is not allowed. If these remnants begin to glow in the dark, or exit the fridge unassisted, then and only then can they be grudgingly fed to the
    dog/cat/parrot.

6) Pets are a waste of time unless they can be eaten. There is no justification to give a pet any more than half a teaspoon of old rice per day.

7) All horizontal surfaces in your home MUST be covered with something....table cloth, old magazines, adverts, bowls of fruit and nuts, purses, bags and the like.

Electricity, Water and gas are magical things that appear from holes in the wall and can be used with gay abandon......turning the oven on high heats the kitchen better than the air-conditioning...showers MUST
    take at least 40 minutes.....if you are not squeaky clean...you will die.

9) If you dont get at least 15 phone calls and 25 SMS texts per day, there is something badly wrong with your social circle.

10) All items purchased at the Supermarket will be scrutinised microscopically for flaws, expect to stand around like a shag on a rock whilst this embarasing process is played out, and pretend you are looking for
     your wife (who is NOT the one digging to the bottom of the huge pile of oranges looking for the best ones.)

Well, that's the first 10, I will post some more as they come to mind, but right now I need a cold beer and a lie-down !!!

[Robertt S]

David E, my wife shares many of those traits also and a few more that really pushes the economizing envelope to the extreme. Sometimes when I am busy working on something around the house and have to travel between 2 rooms for my work/repairs, my wife follows 2 steps behind me turning off lights and inquiring if I have big bank to pay the electric company with. Another thing she does is really entertaining to watch, if she notices the sky darkening she will ask me if it is going to rain. If there is a storm either nearby or just starting she will go outside in the rain to wash the car because she does not want to use metered water to wash it.    I have told her that rainstorms are not the ideal conditions to be outside scrubbing large metallic objects so now she waits until the lightning stops before venturing outside. I really love her frugal traits but some I believe are a little excessive though.

[maxx]

Guys it do's get better given a little time say 20 years   it do's get a little better. The shoe thing will slack off. There will still be a huge amount of slippers by the door. But they will go unused The light thing won't. Clothes will be worn until they are see through. And the snacks and eating thing doesn't stop. Saving the plastic bags. And the orange and apple peels doesn't stop they are to be added to other food latter.

[Willy The Londoner]

Guys it do's get better given a little time say 20 years   it do's get a little better. The shoe thing will slack off. There will still be a huge amount of slippers by the door. But they will go unused The light thing won't. Clothes will be worn until they are see through. And the snacks and eating thing doesn't stop. Saving the plastic bags. And the orange and apple peels doesn't stop they are to be added to other food latter.

Your right Maxx and that is when they have lived outside of China for so long. Living here and intending to do so for ever I can never see me getting to change everything.  So I am becoming more Chinesied father than my wife getting more westernised! 

Can you imagine what happened when I was stupid and extravagant enough to throw orange peel into the rubbish bin?

Willy

[fivetrout]

Haha...the one mentioned that hit home with me was the squeaky clean. Hong had me (us) shower about three times a day. She would wash me from head to toe, not once but three times. After each wash and(cavity cleaning) the water would be made hotter for the rinse to the point of the water being almost unbearable.
Another is the happy, lucky, protective red thingys. They are on the front door, on walls, and on the windows with vinyl signage squeegeed on. And then there's the red ribbons on things like doorhandles and key-chains. With the bathroon always being wet from the combo shower, laundry, sink and such, water proof and slip proof slippers are to be worn. Thank god there's a real toilet...but it's always wet.

chris

[Pineau]

I guess I can tolerate it.

free body washes. (Hey be careful!)
foot and body massage. (Ouch!)
Trash at the curb every Monday morning before I even get out of bed. (Hey was my job!)
My favorite bluejeans with holes in the knees mended after every wash. (So comfortable)
A tall mug of coffee and breakfast waiting at my computer every morning.
A big smile and sweet kiss to wish me good morning.
Toilet paper that magically replenishes itself.
Yes this house has really taken a turn since she arrived. There are other redeeming qualities that I wont mention here.

But this doesn't come free. Sometimes I have to take her to a farm so she can buy some "real" chickens. And sometimes I have to hang around women's clothing department while she looks at every bra and every pair of shoes in the whole store.
 
  But I think I can manage to cope with being married to a Chinese woman.

Chinese cooking, 40 minute showers, Red Buddha trinkets everywhere, and slippers at the door.  Would you like some cheese with that whine?




All joking aside. I think the differences between our backgrounds, customs, culture and language, although at time can cause frustration, it also adds a level of energy and enjoyment you cant find any other way. It keeps you on your toes and constantly surprised.

[RobertBfrom aust]

Gerry you are so cruel , next time start the motor mower for her , it makes grass cutting much easier , but uses more petrol ha ha , regards Sujuan and Robert .

[IrishGuy65]

I love the lawn mowing pictures.  Sets a precedent for us when we have our home... Lisa can be the one to mow the lawn 

[Pineau]

I have no doubt Lisa would do it just to stay busy and stay fit. 
There are probably hundreds of little things that at are going to change in your life but most of them will make yo smile. The rest of them....well just smile anyway.

I think that David E was mostly sharing some smiles with us. Look at what you got, compare to what you have to put up with. I would pick Chinese any day.

See you in 8 more days! If you send me an address.

[Pineau]

Robert, Are you suggesting the photos were staged. Absolutely not. The motor was running and the drive engaged. She started this chore while I was having my morning shower.

But sometimes she goes too fast in the tall grass and kills it then spends a half hour trying to restart it before coming to get me.  I just pull it back a few feet, out of the tall grass and give one pull...then she is off again.

[Rhonald]

Are you suggesting the photos were staged.

Well....your last picture with you sitting comfortable in your Life guard station - with brew at hand - and the previous pic of her headed for the water, makes me think this is your David Hasselhoff pose! Yes I bet you get a kick out of the sometimes, handing of house hold chores with our equipment and small appliances.

I have a Dyson vacuum that with her acumen - I was left needing to hover the first few times, to teach her the proper method. For the cutting of the grass, no where near the acreage you have, I do that chore myself. She tends, however, to get outside before me when it comes to shoveling the side walk and I should search to post the one picture I have of her doing that chore.

[Pineau]

Her curiosity and energy level is a blessing most of the time. I think Fiona has a higher level of testosterone than most women or she is just a Tom boy deep down. If I am working on something in the garage that is typically "men's" work, she cant stay away. She cant stop grabbing tools from my hand and saying "here, let me". It's scary sometimes cause she will grab for a running jigsaw or a spinning drill without thinking of the danger. I think it comes from being alone for years and fixing everything for herself.  She is a real mix. A cross between macho, elegance, sexy and mischief with a little crazy thrown in.

She loves to go shopping at Macy's for clothes, shoes and jewelry and later stop at Home depot to pick up some home improvement project. Last night she helped me size and hang a screen door. I am not sure she is typical of a Chinese woman or if she is just weird. I would like to hear from others that have a Chinese wife just how much different they are from the American woman.

Shoveling the sidewalk. Not my job !

[maxx]

Before I was married I had a vacuum cleaner. That I had for 10 years it was a dirt devil plus 2.I used it about once a week. It was a nice vacuum. It took my wife about 2 weeks for her to break that one. So I went out and bought another one. It lasted about 6 months. In the last 8 years she has gone through halve a dozen vacuum cleaners. The vacuum before the last one lasted a total of a week. It succomed to battle fatigue.

I finally went out and dropped a couple of hundred on a shark vacuum cleaner. That she had seen on the TV. It lasted a total of 3 months before it died the first time. I fixed it and it ran for another 3 months before it died again. So I pulled it apart and fixed it again. And told my wife. She couldn't use the vacuum anymore that I would do the vacuum.So far it is still working after six months.

When my wife first came to the states my brother and sister in law came down. And they took my wife out and bought her a cheap rice cooker. And a bunch of other stuff. It lasted for about 6 years. She was using it everyday. I went out and bought her a new one about 2 years ago. It's working away right now. No problems.

When my wife first arrived I bought her a high end computer it had all the bells and whistles it was supper fast it would work at light speed. Six months latter the cooling fan stopped. So I replaced it. Six months latter. The hard drive stopped working so I replaced it.2 years latter the fan is dying a slow death the speakers don't work and it runs at a snails pace. So I fix it all. So that it runs like the super computer it is. It finally stopped working in 2012. So I went out and bought a high end lap top. A year latter the cooling fan is dead. So I fix it. Six months latter the cooling pad stops working  so I give her my cooling pad. It died 3 weeks latter.

I don't know if it is bad luck or what. She has also killed the wash machine and a clothes dryer. And she is working on her second dish washer. And her third exhaust fan. And the second complete toilets in one of the bathrooms. I have rebuilt the toilet in the master bath twice. Granted all of these appliances were built in 1996 and they didn't start dying until 2008.But keeping everything up and running around here is a full time job. I'm always fixing holes in walls busted screens. Stuck windows and missing trim. Oh and lets not forget the door handles. I have replaced most of them in the last couple of years.

I'm not complaining it just seems odd I went for years not even thinking about any of this. And now I'm constantly fixing something. I guess it is the price I pay for having such a wonderful wife and mother to are 3 boys.

[Arnold]

mmmhhhhh... Gerry, you know all those Photo's only show me that you treat your LaoPo just like a "Chinese" Man... let the Woman do all the work around the house... while your seated and sipping Coffee I'm sure she made for you too. Shame on you!

Oh... forget to mention, at the Lake... you properly send your LaoPo in the water to catch some fresh Fish.. didn't you?

[Pineau]

Maxx, that's funny. My vacuum got tired too. It hates socks. They get caught in it's throat. Mine has a big  valve that switches the vacuum from the floor to the hose. If you forget to switch it back to the floor it just winds hair and lint onto the brush and little else.  I do all the vacuuming here now. She is that way about most of the appliances. They are a total mystery to her because she has never seen one before. But with a little education she has mastered most of them.  She still wont use the dishwasher (it cost too much to use)

Honest Arnold. I never asked her to do any of it. She just naturally likes to mess with tools and such. She likes home projects and is intrigued that American men that can actually fix stuff and make stuff.  She loves my garage setup. I have at least one of every tool you can mention and probably more than one. She is not afraid to help herself to my toolbox if something needs fixing. She wont ask me. Sometimes I am not even home.

If she sees something interesting at a garage sale she starts talking about fixing it up and using it. The TV stand for the big TV upstairs used to be a tall cabinet with drawers on the bottom half and shelves on the upper half. Well two saw blades later the top is now in the computer room and has become a computer desk. The bottom half is the cabinet under the big screen. Downstairs used to be cluttered with shoes and slippers. We got an old TV cabinet from the Goodwill store and with a little paint it has become a Curio-cabinet/coat-rack/shoe cabinet. 

At first she drove me nuts but now I like it. She thinks the way I do. She dresses up very nice but I bet if I had some guns we would be out deer hunting this fall. She was looking at camping gear in Costco last Saturday. I was getting old before I met her.