Working Status/Need Some Advice

[David]

Greetings!

So it finally came up in my letters with my lady about what and where she would like to live.  And I asked her if she was a nurse at the hospital
she works at in Shenzhen.  I also asked her what she would like to do if and when she and her daughter were to re-located here to the USA.
I mentioned that with her daughter in school during the day, and that I will be at work during the day, she might not be happy being at home
by herself.  I mentioned this because I do know that it is pretty easy for a nurse to get a job right now in California.  She would most likey
have to continue to have English classes and will need to take a few classes to get certified as a nurse here in the US.  My thinking was this was
something I could start finding out information about to be prepared.  She just floored me when she said she just wants to be a housewife and not work
anymore.  She must think I am a rich man or something.  I know she is a single mother and supports her daughter and does work long hours six days a
week.  So I can understand a little where she is coming from.

So have you guys had this conversation with your lady?  Are any of your ladies currently housewives or are they working?  I could understand being a
stay at home mother if there is a baby or very small children involved, but her daughter is almost 16.  She does not want to have another child. I told her upfront I was looking for an equal partner.  I want both of us to work together to purchase a home, provide a good education for her daughter, we will need another vehicle for her, and be able to do some travelling and fun things, and also to put money away for retirement.

I realize that I need to explain more how it is in the US.  So I am seeking advice to help me with my next letter to her.  Most couples now, the way things are economically, have to work to support the family.  Unless you are wealthy or are willing to really budget and make cut backs.  I live in California and am now paying twice the amount to rent a two bedroom apartment than I would have for a morgage on a 3 bedroom home back in Michigan.  I am already having to save and budget my money to make this happen.  She wants a large fancy wedding and I want to give it to her but I am working overtime and taking extra shifts to save for this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.  

Big Dave

[Irishman]

Dave I sympathise, I sent Ling a link to a property site here in Ireland (our housing bust is only getting going a couple of years here and everything is still madly insanely overpriced) to give her an idea of how expensive things are here.
Maybe you send your lady something similar, i think its only when they are able to have a look at the $$$ sign and convert  to RMB in their own mind that they get the picture that it is pretty expensive in the west compared to China.

[Hajo]

Dave, I had a short "talk" with my lady on this issue. She wants to work, but I am not sure if she will find something the first two years. I agree with Ronan, give her some examples how things are at your place. Often those girls don't have a clue how it is in the west. It could be some people or even the agency's feeding them with wrong info. I have made comparable experiences with people from former east Germany. As some of them (my mothers uncle, 60 years of age) visited us, they believed we were rich. And they thought that just because of we lived in western Germany. The had been fed with wrong info, too.

You might be able to explain to her. I hope so.

[JimB]

I had this talk with mine in one of the first conversations.  I am going to retire.  But, I am still going to find something to do part time and I think she should too.  She is also an RN.  She has been head Nurse at her hospital so I dont see her having a real problems finding something part time.  I dont want her working full time anyway,  so we can take off anytime we want to go and do something.  I also told her she should do this for her own self esteem.  I would admire her more for being somewhat independent.   This has been our plan all along.  

I would approach it that she would feel better about herself if she worked and helped as a partner.

[Ed W]

Big Dave...

I got a close friend who's been a Critical Care Nurse (ICU) for many years here in southern Cal and a nurse for 25+ yrs. I'll ask her about how she'd go about getting to work but I assure you, she'll give her best advice. She's that kind of friend.

I'll try to get some info to you soon..

[JimB]

I red today that there is a new bill pending in congress called the "Nursing Relief Act of 2009".  It will cut the time a nurse has to wait to get a work visa here in the US.  Specifically targeted are Nurses from China, India and the Philippines.  The article said that they are trying to push it through so it can be enacted sooner.   http://news.outlookindia.com/item.aspx?655088   I am calling my congressman on Monday to find out the status and how long the new wait time will be.  If less than a year, I am going to use that way for my lady. She can get here and work while we are waiting for the permanent visa.  I will post what I find out.

[JimB]

I found it is not a bill but an amendment .  http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/z?c111:H.R.1001.IH: