[attachment=243]Dear friends,
I'm back! For those of you who don't know, I went to Changsha at the end of May, got scammed by a bad agency, found a good one and fell in love with China.
On returning to England, I wrote to four ladies, 2 from the good Changsha agency, P218, 2 from elsewhere. The 2 others I told I wanted to have direct contact via QQ after an exchange of 10 letters or so, citing my negative experiences in Changsha. One of the ladies never replied, the other sent me a long and positive response, respecting my honesty. Lovely lady. Of the Changsha ladies, one was quickly becoming my favourite and we became serious - Zhimei is 34, divorced with 1 son. So I wrote to the 2 other ladies to say sorry, but I have found someone.
Because she is from an agency I trust, I am less suspicious and less testing of her than I was with the others. But I am also more sure that I want to spend my life with a lady from China. I will be visiting Zhimei in Changsha in October. I sent Zhimei a request for direct contact a couple of weeks into our correspondence, the whole deal, phone, QQ, webcam. She had said that she seldom used QQ, was scared to talk on the phone, the agency didn't have a webcam and she was very busy finding work in another city. But I told her it was important to me and went on a bit of a love rant. I thought maybe I'd come on a bit too strong, but the next day, this mysterious lady with the same birthday as my Zhimei, requested QQ contact and suddenly appeared on a webcam. Shock! The naughty woman was playing a game with me. Still, she wouldn't say who she was, like I didn't know. You couldn't remove the smile from my face with a crowbar.:icon_cheesygrin:
Since then, we have had a two and a half hour webcam chat, all arranged by her at an internet cafe, daily QQ chats, EMF letters every other day, and maybe phone call soon. She works long hours, so it isn't easy for her to contact me.
I read everyone's posts religiously and I am saddened by some others' recent experiences. I hope everyone will receive the happiness they deserve, happiness I am feeling right now.
Oh, did I mention I proposed to Zhimei and she accepted? Another Changsha wedding? This is getting ridiculous.
Alex:heart:
By the way, I have taken advice from discussions about direct contact, QQ's, language barrier, parental approval, etc., all of which have helped me a lot. For example, here is a little to and fro in our correspondence about family approval over the last couple of weeks:
Alex - Have you told them about us? Do they have feelings about marriage to someone who is not Chinese? I am worried that they might not approve of me; I know how important family approval is in China. For myself, I know that my family will love you because they will see how happy I am and they will know it is you who has made me happy.
Zhimei - Honey, actually, my father and my brother are against me to marry abroad, because they worry if my husband do not treat me well, it will be extremely hard for me. Because I have no relatives there. Maybe everything will be strange for me. They worry too much. I am trying to persuade them. Because I say you are a very good man. Right now they are neutral.
Alex - You can tell your father and brother that I will never mistreat you.
Zhimei - Honey, I know you are also very serious to our relationship. My father and my brothers will feel easy after my telling them what kind of a man you are.
Alex - Thank you for speaking to your family. In England, there is an expression when people get married. To the parents of the bride: ‘You are not losing a daughter, you are gaining a son’. I have faith that you can ease their minds about me.
Zhimei - Honey, please do not worry, I believe my father and my two brothers can understand me. They will be happy to have another son.
pps, sorry about the monster photo
