Well...
I don't really know what to say...
I am sad, very sad, and also...a bit happy..
Maybe should I believe in a God of Hope? Who knows...
Today I was on QQ with Liyan, and I saw she was on the phone, then she wrote me "my mother"...
I said nothing, I waited a few mins, and when she hang up, she was sad... very sad...
I asked what's wrong...
Liyan looked at me, was very sad, as if she would begin to cry and she explained me...
A chinese man has been introduced to her parents (don't ask how... I don't know) and she really disagreed it...
I know it isn't easy at all...
I didn't know what to say, for sure, I was sad as Liyan was, and I asked anyway some questions about the chinese man and her.
She told me that "chinese people only get married when the son in law will give you the money, father also need to give money to her daughter".
I asked about money because of the famous story I had in Chongqing... That's why Liyan told me that.
We went on talking, she told me that she had to know if I really loved her and, for sure, I told her that I really loved her. I never meant to hurt her feelings.
She then told me to be happy because she knew what she had to do, facing her parents later (in two weeks... quite long
) and that she will tell them about her feelings for me, and my feelings for her. I also sent her a first letter in english, speaking a bit about me, my life and how I loved their beautiful daugther (I also said that they could be proud about having a such beautiful daugther).
Welll..
Liyan gave me lot of smiles, told me that she kissed me, that she remembered all the days in Gz with me, and that she knew she was very happy with me.
I don't really know how things can evolve.
Because her parents don't know foreigners, they only know about us via their tv and most of time, for sure, it's not "really good"...
I also told Liyan I was still learning chinese with new words (ok I can write "taxi" now in chinese...) and that I wished in two weeks or a little more to be able to speak with her in chinese.
I told also in my letter that I wished to marry Liyan (I said all I have in my heart) and that if she could come in France, I would help her to learn french in some "training centers", "formations" and that each year, we'd go in China one or two times, to see her family, so that her family could see that no, Liyan doesn't leave them.
In fact, all that I said was very nice to Liyan and she told me "ok, don't worry, be happy, don't care please"... She was almost sure about herself when saying it to me...
For sure, I'm frightened and a bit sad...
Because I would really like that relationship to go on and to evolve.
Liyan told me that she knew 2 chinese men before and that it ended for many reasons, one of them was not very nice with her, and the other one, I don't really remember.
But she also told me that since she knows me, she's happy everyday....
One other thing we talked about, because I remember about it :
she told me one time that it would be more easy for her to have a chinese man as love, because she wouldn't change lot of things.
Today we talked about it again.
She then told me that she needs a good reason to do these things (learning french, learning to adapt to life abroad...), for love, for a good man, for her happyness.
She then told me "if you show this, I will do that"
Then I told her that I was sincere in my love for her and that I would really help her once she could come in France.
And she then replied "I can feel your love, it is true, so I will do lot of things".
She then told me she had to go sleeping, and told me "don't be sad, and don't worry", saying I was her dear, that she missed me a lot...
How many brothers will say me that there's nothing to do, except finishing in a "no way, dude"?
?
