Josh money matters are always dicey business and needs to be handled with extreme care in myopinion. You shouldn't have said that to her about the money, but whats done is done. Don't bring it up again unless she does or if you do..tread really lightly, i would just say i wish I had enough money to support her but i am already working two jobs as is, so with huge regrret I would tell her to work for the moment.
Agree its going to be hard to talk because of the time difference. I work shift so my hours change every few weeks so I just agree in advance when I can talk to my Ling, even if that means taking my netbook and hooking it up to my mobile phone during lunch hour so we can chat.
You need to strongly give the impression you would like her not to work but you are already working such long hours so you can be together with her again its not really feasible, let her realise that she is asking too much.
Regarding the emotions, everyone is different, for some its hard to express emotion over a phone line or the internet, for us westerners it comes easy, but I think the Chinese in general are more reserved, bit of sweeping statement that but broadly i think its true. Don't go rushing round like a bull in a china shop with her, take it at her pace and these things will come.