Author Topic: My Blog  (Read 24919 times)

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Offline Josh Markley

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RE: My Blog
« Reply #90 on: July 28, 2009, 02:06:27 pm »
Yes I am happy that this is here now.  At first I really enjoyed reading whet you married gys and the others who have already traveled.  Now I have the stories and memories of my own.  No one here ever said it was easy and I never expected it to be.  I am happy I have you guys to lean on when times get rough.  And I hope I have drawn enough info from my trip to even help you fellas out who are a little farther down the road than I am.  Hell yeah Arnold Ill come to work on VDubs.  Man so many Vdubs in Beijing and Baoding.
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Arnold

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RE: My Blog
« Reply #91 on: July 29, 2009, 12:13:05 am »
Jo- Ma , that's nothing . In shanghai ... 8 out of 10 Car's are VW's . All the TAXI's are VW's , because the contract with Germany they have . If I knew how to fix them chinese talking Car's , I would be there in one minute .

Offline Josh Markley

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RE: My Blog
« Reply #92 on: July 30, 2009, 12:24:18 am »
Yeah I wondered if they spoke the same language in China.  Vdubs very smart cars haha.  So I have made it home and slepped like a baby in a soft bed.  Sleeping in china is like sleeping on a wood floor.
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Offline Martin

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RE: My Blog
« Reply #93 on: July 30, 2009, 03:05:06 am »
Quote
So I have made it home and slepped like a baby in a soft bed. Sleeping in china is like sleeping on a wood floor.

HAHAHA...Chinese beds are pretty hard.  I am not looking forward to that part on my return...well...parts of being in bed i am looking forward to.

Arnold

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RE: My Blog
« Reply #94 on: July 30, 2009, 09:03:25 am »
That is very funny . I haven't even noticed how hard the Bed were , that all you Guy's talk about . Maybe I have no feeling's or my Mind was on " Other "  things . I think that was it .:blush:

Offline victor-hills

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RE: My Blog
« Reply #95 on: July 30, 2009, 09:50:20 am »
im not eaven going there arnold lol but some times a harder bed is better lol :icon_cheesygrin:
« Last Edit: July 30, 2009, 09:50:54 am by victor-hills »
Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.

Offline Rhonald

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RE: My Blog
« Reply #96 on: July 30, 2009, 09:52:27 am »
Yes it's good to be Hard in bed...ahem I mean....:s
Life....It's all about finding the Chicks and Balances

Offline victor-hills

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RE: My Blog
« Reply #97 on: July 30, 2009, 11:45:24 am »
lol im not saying anything :s
« Last Edit: July 30, 2009, 11:46:33 am by victor-hills »
Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.

Offline Irishman

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RE: My Blog
« Reply #98 on: July 30, 2009, 11:56:13 am »
I love the hard beds, sleep like a baby on em, used to have a bad back and slept on a rock hard hard bed for years (big wooden board and thin camping mattress on top) before it sorted itself, I just know these are healthy.

Josh buddy, I just read about you crying on the way back, I so know how that feels. I called Ling from the plane just before take off when they tell you to turn off mobiles, man it just about choked me up saying goodbye on the phone and hearing her sweet voice for the last time in China. I had to close my eyes and pretend I was trying to sleep or there would have been a decidedly unmanly episode on the plane haha!
It passes after a couple of weeks if that's any use, I kept dreaming i was with her and would wake up and my heart would hurt when I realised I was back in Ireland..am not looking forward to going though that again I can tell you.
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Offline Josh Markley

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RE: My Blog
« Reply #99 on: August 01, 2009, 01:59:01 am »
Thanks Irish.  Our last hug was before I went through the gate.  I did not take my cell phone and i dont think it would have done any good.  I could have said goddbye and that I loved her.  Now I wish I would have.

So many things have happened since I left her.  She stayed in beijing till the 31st and returned home to baoding.  I know I am thinking to much into things.  She stayed with friends, and when i landed in L.A I saw her on qq.  She was at a male friends house with little clothes on.  She was with her girlfriends though.  She only put on make up once and that was when she was taking me to the airport.  She had a birthday party to attend for this male friend late that evening.  This male friend was dating on of her best friends.  But it seams odd to me.  Today she said she was going to get her hair done.  But towards the end of our conversation she put on make up and a beautiful dress.  She looked amazing.  She looked great when I was there but never like this.  My mouth was watering.  She also said she sahved down under.  I had asked her to do this when I was there but she said she was shy.  today she said she did it for me because she thought I would like it.  I did.  But why all this attention to her body now after I left.  I do not understand.  I try to ask her these questions but normally I get no reply.  I dont know what to think.

While I was there she asked me if i wanted her to go back to work or not to work.  She explained if she worked we would not have the time to meet each other.  With the time difference I understand.  I said I prefered not to go back to work so I can see her on a daily basis.  I also told her to find an english school for her to attend.  Her mother said she could no longer support Xu Le if she stayed home, so i said I will send her money to help out with anything she needed.  Yesterday she asked if I was prepared to send her maony I replied yes.  I know money is an international language and her family wants to know if I can take care of her.  I will but I am gonna have to work three jobs to do so.  So I asked a stupid question.  She never wants to talk about our relationship or her feelings.  This frustrates me very much.  So I asked her why she always talked about money and never how she feels about us.  This angered her very much.  She said to forget it and she would return to work and we would not meet as often.  I never said I didnt want to send her the money I just wanted her to open up to me.  I tried to explain it but I think I made it worse.  She is my life and I will do anything for her.  Any ideas guys?  Most of your wives and girlfriends seam to be very emotional women.  They like to express there feelings.  Mine simply does not want to, she is she, or dont know how.  I did get she she felt very lonely without me.  And she loves me.  Is this is good as I am going to get from her till we are married?  

I do not have second thought about my relatioship with Xu Le.  She is wonderful in everyway.  I think I am wanting more than she can give me at this point in time.  I know she is also worried I can not support her, so I think she is waiting to see if I can.
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Offline Irishman

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RE: My Blog
« Reply #100 on: August 01, 2009, 04:46:53 am »
Josh money matters are always dicey business and needs to be handled with extreme care in myopinion. You shouldn't have said that to her about the money, but whats done is done. Don't bring it up again unless she does or if you do..tread really lightly, i would just say i wish I had enough money to support her but i am already working two jobs as is, so with huge regrret I would tell her to work for the moment.

Agree its going to be hard to talk because of the time difference. I work shift so my hours change every few weeks so I just agree in advance when I can talk to my Ling, even if that means taking my netbook and hooking it up to my mobile phone during lunch hour so we can chat.
You need to strongly give the impression you would like her not to work but you are already working such long hours so you can be together with her again its not really feasible, let her realise that she is asking too much.

Regarding the emotions, everyone is different, for some its hard to express emotion over a phone line or the internet, for us westerners it comes easy, but I think the Chinese in general are more reserved, bit of sweeping statement that but broadly i think its true. Don't go rushing round like a bull in a china shop with her, take it at her pace and these things will come.
Become the change you want today, or all your tomorrows will be like yesterday.

Offline Sylvain D

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RE: My Blog
« Reply #101 on: August 01, 2009, 04:59:31 am »
I think there are some "signs" chinese ladies do "for us", but when we leave, I could not really explain why, but maybe does she want to show you that she wants to be beautiful for you, even if you're not there, with her.
Plus, she heard your advice and did what she thought was a good advice of you.
I think you do not need to be "jealous" or angry because she "makes" her beautiful when you're not there.
Even if I can not really understand, maybe is it a "chinese habit", I don't know..Maybe some other members / brothers here could say something about it...

I wish anyway you'll face that "problem" the best you can and that, as usual, advices will help you in your story :)
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Offline Darius

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RE: My Blog
« Reply #102 on: August 01, 2009, 08:02:56 am »
Josh...I am in this one with Irish. You shouldnt have said that. you must be very cautious with money things. You have promised her what you cant afford? She can lose her face and you too! But damage is done. Dont try yet to twist your words. Its understandable that she is a bit angry. And if somebody is angry it will be not the best time to show that sort of emotions you are waiting for.
Try to explain her why your not maybe capable of doing that. Tell her the truth as i`ve got it from your letter too. That you like her so much and the desire for meeting her everyday caused you didnt think about the consequences, maybe then you wont be able of coming over to China as soon as possible if you do it? That you have to save money for bringing her over to your country and make a suitable living togather? May she wanted just to save your face as she said " forget it" If she loves you really as you assumes she will get over it. Dont try to play more hell of it now with your doubts about her way of dressing or something like that. There will be enough time for that. Time will tell you. The important one in a crisis is at first to survive it!

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RE: My Blog
« Reply #103 on: August 01, 2009, 09:03:36 am »
Quote from: 'Josh Markley' pid='10513' dateline='1249106341'

She never wants to talk about our relationship or her feelings. So I asked her why she always talked about money and never how she feels about us. This angered her very much.  She said to forget it and she would return to work and we would not meet as often.


Josh, your going to have to be straight with me. Has she expressed her feelings to you? Or are you assuming? I am very worried about this part " always talked about money and never how she feels " This is what my EX did. Until I realized she was in it for the money not love. Your to young to be a "Sugar Daddy".

"She said to forget it and she would return to work and we would not meet as often." This is the basic reply to getting the man to do what the woman wants. It's followed by guy "What's wrong?" girl "Nothing."

If you have to work 3 jobs to do what she wants? Then your still not going to talk to her everyday. You'll be to busy working. Not one of the women I talked with or even my lady now has asked for a penny. They took care of business themselves. Saving what they can for the future.

Offline MLM

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RE: My Blog
« Reply #104 on: August 01, 2009, 09:08:29 am »
Jo-Ma, if I have learned nothing else its that if you promise a Chinese woman ( any woman ) something, you better be able to keep that promise, it don't matter if all you said was " I will do this " or " I will send you money " this is now a promise to her and she expects you to do it, if not you and her lose face and as you know, this is not good.
Good luck Josh and my suggestion is, keep your promise.
TIME IS THE TELLER OF ALL TRUTHS AND THE HEALER OF ALL HURTS