Maxx,
I read your post two or three times, so i know where your coming from, and know what your trying to get over here. The problem with your argument as far as i see it anyway, is that if the two people involved are honest with each other, ie, she tells the the man of her past experiences, and that if he thinks along the same lines then there is no future between them. This also goes for the man involved too of course.. Without that honesty there is no foundation to any lasting relationship. Trust is also an issue here, it's during those corresponding times that trust is being laid down between you both.
There are always going to be men such as you describe in your post, just as there are going to be women of a similar ilk. Your argument about these women trying to protect themselves from such men, goes equally towards the men that have made the effort to visit these women. Remember, the women can just turn round, even on the first day of a visit and say to the guy visiting, ''sorry, but your not what i expected and end the relationship there and then'' and walk away without any comeback on herself. ...Or, after a few days of knowing this guy ...if she is of the opinion that this guy only wants to get into my pants, she has the same escape route. The man on the other hand, has no escape route as such. He has flown thousands of miles to be with this woman and is now in a foreign country, he's only hope is some sort of back-up plan. If he caused his own problem with the lady, then he only has himself to blame and that's life i'm afraid... So the protection thing you talk about, doesn't hold that much water as far as i'm conserned.
Continuing on this protection front, that your basing your post on. Do you really think that telling outright lies and generally being deceptive is acceptable as a protection plan?? I'm sorry but i don't, and again that goes for both parties. ...not just the ladies!!
If the guy or the lady isn't prepared to put time and effort into an internet relationship of this type then both sides are wasting each others time, ....so it's back to the honesty and trust thing again, and being prepared for some setbacks and heartache along the way. I'm afraid that's just a fact of life, it sure does suck at the time, but life goes on....
Referring to Mike...
Now i'm sure that everyone here knows that Mike is a very decent guy, and that would have been more than evident to his lady, Jessica if she had taken the time and effort to read his posts and asked the questions of him that she herself needed to know, She didn't!! What sort of protection was she putting in place, by not telling him she had moved with her daughter to Japan?? ...None that i can see or think of!! (i don't know if she moved, before or after they had started communicating) What i do know is, that all of this could have been totally avoided if she had been as honest with Mike as he has always been with her....
I'm sure that Mike knows a lot more than has been let known here, he is the man on the ground so to speak, and using his intuition, wisdom, to work his own way through all this upset. His character is a strong one, and he's not a fool by any stretch of the imagination, so if he thinks he can see a way through his predicament then that's what he'll do. He can obviously see, that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and that if she is coming clean with him, and there are no more points of deception he is willing to start again from scratch. Only he knows his own limits to what he will accept and what he wont, and we should support him in whatever he decides.....
About myself Maxx, you were wrong to assume that i met Lucy face to face, She was living the other side of China when i first made contact with her, and we were both unable to visit for well over 3 months due to work commitments on both sides. So we had 3 months or so, doing exactly the same as everyone else on this site, with the one big exception, she speaks and writes English better than i do!! ...hahaha!! And virtually from the start (after about a month) also used IM/webcam.... telephone etc....
David.....