WARNING

[Vince G]

Your all making good points today. The thing is each is a individual meeting. I haven't read it here but I have at the Chnlove forum guys thinking they are getting sex slaves. I find this despicable that some men think this is the way to go? Is sex important? Yes but there is a difference of making love then having sex with your partner. If your think playing games with these women is the way to gain some excitement in your life. Grow up and be real men.

Some I had written before had told me of men making all kinds of promises and even telling them they were going to see them and then disappearing? How do you think it made them feel? Like they were lied too? Played with their feelings and cheated on. This could also give them an insecurity they may have about their looks, shape or just their english as they try to understand why they were cut off.

I can not say what is with all these women? Why some turn at the last minute? To many reasons to pinpoint what the problem was. I can't say they are right either. What was written and what was read could be way different.

As for Mike? He hasn't asked for help, he's just telling us what is going on and what's being done. He has to work it out however he feels he should.

[Irishman]

Some really great posts in this topic on both side, good to see intelligent debate not descending into name calling like I've seen on so many other internet forums, thank you guys.

Personally I think there's merits in both sides to he debate however the only one that can really decide what's right and wrong in Mike's situation is Mike. He's a smart guy, he's there in China interacting with his lady,and seems to have his feet firmly on the ground,  ultimately its him that has to make the final call on this, simply put he's the one that has all the facts not us.

In some other posters stories alarm bells were ringing from post one in the past but i'm not really hearing them here, but again that's just my opinion.
Mike I wish you all the best truly, being there is one heck of a roller-coaster ride that's for sure and you seem to be dealing with it well so far.

[Buzz]

I have to say that this past two days of communication is what makes this forum the best.  Each person with their own views and beliefs and yet given with respect.  I know we all wish the best for Mike and his Lady.  I know that by reading and re-reading these posts, I have learned a lot, and for that I am thankful.  Mike I know these relationships work, last night I took some time off and went to a Chinese Dance program that was here in Greensboro.  I saw many, many cross culture marriages of all ages.  It was a beautiful program and it was nice to see that work and trust can be rewarded in a lasting relationship.  

buzz

[JimB]

Mike, I am truly sorry that it is not all an easy way.  I know you are a real man and will work it out, however it goes, to your satisfaction.  I have to tell you that after reading all of this, I ran over to my wife and gave her a big kiss and thanked her and told her how happy I was to be here with her.  She is my wife forever more.  The road is tough sometimes.  We are still not finished.  But the hardest emotional part is done.  We now have no control over what happens other than putting the right paperwork in place.  so Mike, do whatever you have to do to make it work for you no matter which way it comes out.  You know for certain that whatever you need you have it from the people here.

[Scottish_Rob]

Mike thank you for the post..As others have said here and you have confirmed, you have all the facts, and you are the one who is interacting with Jessica...The ultimate decision is with you, and reading from the responses, 'WE' all know what your going with...So the best to you both, congrats mate...:icon_biggrin:

[Chong]

All those theory postings from other brothers about 'dishonesty' in your EMFs was all for naught. Your last post proves that you and only you know about your situation and that Jessica's a honest lady who's just protecting her life ... which she has every right to do. That's the thing about Forum posting & opinions, too many people jump to conclusions based on negative story experiences when the whole facts in Mike's case wasn't reveal.

Maxx ... I totally agree with your post.

Mike ... Good for you, enjoy the rest of your trip. :icon_cheesygrin:

[David5o]

Shaun, ....


Are you serious?, ...The time effort thing doesn't wash?? Sorry Shaun, it bloody does wash.... were talking 14 months here, not 3 or 6 or 8months,  ...but 14 MONTHS and all the money that went with that time and effort too. All a waste of time!!

There's a little thing called honesty Shaun, and that's been sorely lacking here on her part. If she was in Japan and tired of the whole thing, then she should of hidden her profile or have been honest with Mike about the way she feels.... Just look at the bloody big mess, that has been caused by saying nothing at all!!!!

As for the conspricy thing, ....that's unfortunately what happens Shaun, when one or both of you aren't honest with each other!!

Your right about the Christian thing, i don't see things the same way as Mike, i just see the reality of the thing in front of me.... But i do trust his ability to use that insight, it is after all a part of his make-up as a man...

David.....

[Scottish_Rob]

All those theory postings from other brothers about 'dishonesty' in your EMFs was all for naught. Your last post proves that you and only you know about your situation and that Jessica's a honest lady who's just protecting her life ... which she has every right to do. That's the thing about Forum posting & opinions, too many people jump to conclusions based on negative story experiences when the whole facts in Mike's case wasn't reveal.

Maxx ... I totally agree with your post.

Mike ... Good for you, enjoy the rest of your trip. :icon_cheesygrin:

Chong the dishonesty in the emf's were just THAT... DISHONEST, she DID not write them!!!!

What do you want the members here to do...SAY NOTHING when we get the NEWS we got, we all want to 'back up' our fellow brother and show him some support, and some possible reasons for why she done it?  ..I for one 'jumped in BECAUSE me and MIke and spoken about this, because I am going to the same place he is, and he wanted to make me aware......Lets be TOTALLY HONEST HERE Chong, ..WHAT WERE  YOUR FIRST THOUGHTS WHEN YOU READ ABOUT MIKES PROBLEM???

Did you just sit there and think, everyone is wrong...

[David5o]

Chong,

I'm not quite sure what message your putting across here? If you are talking solely about Mike then fine, he has made that choice to forgive... If on the other hand your talking about those of us that brought up the question of dishonesty and deceit .....what are you saying, ...we were all wrong?? If that is the case your doing the brothers here an injustice, because no-matter how well others here have dressed this up, Jessica was NOT honest, in her dealings with Mike, not by any one's stretch of the imagination. Mike went to China, on the basis of Lie's and half truths, there wasn't any honesty until he was in China. That's not what he (or anyone else) was expecting on his visit to China.

This protection thing is just dressage, The ladies are in there own country, they can (and do) pull out of a relationship at anytime, before, during, and after any visit by a man to meet them. I'm quite sure that some have been hurt before in there dealings with some western men, but hey, so have the men, how are they to protect themselves from unscrupulous women and agencies?? ...With far more difficulties than the ladies is the correct answer!!

It's just a fact of life, we all get emotionly hurt, it's the price we all pay for finding that right person to be in our life. Everything starts with honesty, and ends in trust, If there's no honesty during communications then there is precious little trust.... I've covered this area in another post so i wont go over it again here...

Again i will reiterate, ...this deception went on for 14 Months..... Let it be said now, ...that Mike is a very brave man indeed, for his forgiving. There are very few men here on this Forum that would still be trying to make this relationship work for him, and that includes you and myself, Chong!!  He is taking a huge leap of faith, and because of other factors relating to his Christian faith, i know him as an honest man, i can and will, wish him only the very best of luck and success on his endeavors for his relationship to succeed out of the ashes he found himself in through no fault of his own...

David.....

[David E]

Chinese single woman with teenage child "emigrating" to Japan..........??

Be VERY careful that she has not married a Japanese Man.

DavidE

[Chong]

 ...but 14 MONTHS and all the money that went with that time and effort too. All a waste of time!!

There's a little thing called honesty Shaun, and that's been sorely lacking here on her part. If she was in Japan and tired of the whole thing, then she should of hidden her profile or have been honest with Mike about the way she feels.... Just look at the bloody big mess, that has been caused by saying nothing at all!!!!

Your right about the Christian thing, i don't see things the same way as Mike, i just see the reality of the thing in front of me.... But i do trust his ability to use that insight, it is after all a part of his make-up as a man...

1) Why is it a waste of time ? Is Mike there ... Yes ! Are they making an effort in their relationship ? ... Yes !

2) Did you even read Mike's post # 237 or are you just listening to your own words ? There are reasons why Jessica didn't reveal her situation thus the EMFs from the agencies reflected that.

3) And ... No ! ... the reality of the thing is not in front of you ... but in front of Mike. He's there talking to Jessica, not you, David.

And Yes, I'm only talking about Mike's situation. This is his thread afterall.

[maxx]

Ok so we agree Mike is a hellva man for following this threw.Do we all agree on this? If so then we do not need to discuss this any more.

Now as I understand.The focus of this debate is Honesty and intrgrety.On the part of the agencies and the ladies.It seems to me that some members here.See honesty in black or white.Your eather telling the truth or your not.

after 20 years in the auto industry.And growing up in the southwest.I see shades of grey.There is a reason why somebody is lieing to you.It is ussually better to find out why the person is lieing to you.Before you pass judgment.

A few months ago.A member posted on here.That his lady didn't want him to use the EMF service to tell her when he was comming to China.So the bells are going off in this guy's head.The very first post a member posts dump the bitch.In thoose exact words.

I'm thinking ok why would you post something like that.And why would something like this make bells go off in the guys head.When you didn't have all the facts of the story.So I posted to give it 24 hours and ask the lady why she didn't want to use the EMF.That is what the member did.Her reply was so that she wouldn't have to pay the meeting fee and the agency wouldn't hound the guy to pay the agency fees.

I try to see things from both sides where most people only see it from one side.If I can't see both sides.I will ask my wife what she thinks and go from there.You know she is a Chinese women from China.So I think she has a good idea on how a Chinese women mind works.

What would of happend if the guy who started the thread.Had he took the first suggestion that he had recieved.He would still be looking for the women of his dreams.After blowing the first women off.This is just one story.I have seen this time and again on here and the 2 other forums.People passing judgment before they know all the facts.

We have already disscused that the letters could be written by someone else.Or that the agency has made a fake profile to generate money.Every member on here has read theese threads and should be aware by now that yes this can happen to you.

In a perfect world theese things wouldn't happen to any of us.In a perfect world over halfe of us would of never even ben on this site having this debate.We would all be married to are first wives or sweethearts.We would all have the 2.3 kids and living the perfect life.It isn't a perfect world.

Thoose of you that can only see things in black or white.wrong or right.Are missing out on a life well lived.It is a shame that we have to doubt what people tell us.But that is life.

The funny part about all of this is we are supposed to be the top of the evoloutionary gene pool.But we are the ones who hurt and kill are own.Where is the truth and honesty in this?

The Jessica thing would not be a deal breaker.In my own opinion she did what she thought was neccisarry to protect herself and her daughter.Faced with the same situation under the same circumstances.Some of us mite of done even more.To protect are selves and are families.

[Rhonald]

she is not counting her hens before they are hatched..... she is waiting for the wedding to happen ... and then she will be convinced ... you see.. after I leave here in 3 days, I might change my mind about her ... I know that I won't, but she has to deal with the reality that I might, because it has happened to her before...

I can relate Mike...the night before I was to depart after my 1st trip, my then fiance was distant and sad. She cried once that evening and when I asked her why the tears, she answered that she was worried that when I left, I would not return.

I have to compliment the brotherhood on the very animate and interesting discussion of differing opinions. But most of all, I tip my hat to you Mike. I can see as Shaun has observed, that your faith has given you great strength and wisdom to endure in what has been a:sleepy: most enjoyable read for us here. You are living the adventure and traversing the rapids of fate on your own voyage of discovery.

[Chong]

If that is the case your doing the brothers here an injustice, because no-matter how well others here have dressed this up, Jessica was NOT honest, in her dealings with Mike, not by any one's stretch of the imagination. Mike went to China, on the basis of Lie's and half truths, there wasn't any honesty until he was in China. That's not what he (or anyone else) was expecting on his visit to China.

Again i will reiterate, ...this deception went on for 14 Months..... Let it be said now, ...that Mike is a very brave man indeed, for his forgiving. There are very few men here on this Forum that would still be trying to make this relationship work for him, and that includes you and myself, Chong!!  

You said it yourself ... Mike's in China now and learning the truth. How he got there doesn't matter at this point regarding the past EMFs. Look at JimB ... same thing happened to him and he's married now. Iit's the game guys have to play with ChnLove.

Oh ... so now, you're speaking on behalf of my thoughts, David !  How would you know ?

[Rhonald]

I think an amendment needs to be made to Maxx's 24 hour rule as I see some steam coming from the last 2 pages of postings. Please count to 10 guys and simmer off some of the emotion before replying :s