Author Topic: WARNING  (Read 33396 times)

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David5o

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RE: Qingdao Aug 23 - Sept 8, 2009
« Reply #210 on: September 06, 2009, 07:50:50 am »
I think Rob and others are right, this thread has been hi-jacked enough...
So i will delete my threads from where things started to get personal between Chong and I.
I hope Chong will see fit to do likewise.

One thing that is common between Chong and myself, is that we both support and admire Mike in his endevours to make a succes of his relationship with Jessica. Mike is a good guy, and also a man of strong character and belief. If anyone can pull things together, It's gonna be Mike.

David......

shaun

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RE: Qingdao Aug 23 - Sept 8, 2009
« Reply #211 on: September 06, 2009, 07:55:36 am »
Quote from: 'Willy The Londoner' pid='15585' dateline='1252200362'

Quote from: 'maxx' pid='15487' dateline='1252114163'




Take willy for example.He lives in Zhuhai.Is getting along great with his lady.Why?.Because he is right there right now.He isn't trying to build a relationship across the enternet.It is a totaly different playing field.When you are using the enternet.



I am not a good example at the moment.  4 unwarranted words spoken by me as a question last week has disrupted my world here at present.  I will know by next weekend if we have a future. I should have stuck to the 24 hour rule.

Willy


Willy,

A good prayer might help.  Maybe she has that understanding heart we all so desperately look for.  Chin up friend.

Shaun
Quote from: 'David5o' pid='15625' dateline='1252237850'

I think Rob and others are right, this thread has been hi-jacked enough...
So i will delete my threads from where things started to get personal between Chong and I.
I hope Chong will see fit to do likewise.

One thing that is common between Chong and myself, is that we both support and admire Mike in his endevours to make a succes of his relationship with Jessica. Mike is a good guy, and also a man of strong character and belief. If anyone can pull things together, It's gonna be Mike.

David......


Don't delete.  Maxx or Irishman move these to a different thread.  Though it has got out of hand and quite heated there are some valuable posts here we need to see.
« Last Edit: September 06, 2009, 08:08:50 am by shaun »

David5o

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RE: Qingdao Aug 23 - Sept 8, 2009
« Reply #212 on: September 06, 2009, 08:28:14 am »
Shaun,...#268

I think you better go back and read again through this thread Shaun, and read Mikes comments and statements, There isn't any question that she had been dishonest, and for a very long time too. So no leap of faith on my part... The post your referring too, ...I stand wholeheartedly by.....

I basically agree with the rest of your post Shaun, there are some points that i would question as to there validity, but nothing i can see an issue with!!

Offline MLM

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RE: Qingdao Aug 23 - Sept 8, 2009
« Reply #213 on: September 06, 2009, 08:51:11 am »
Hi Mike, sorry, I had to go back a lot of posts to see what was going on, I am happy for you brother, you and Jessica have been doing well it seems, I hope the two of you can continue to do this.
It sounds like if things keep going on this way that the next trip will be to marry her, I send you all best wishes for the two of you.
Good luck Mike although you don't seem to need it, Hahaha.
« Last Edit: September 06, 2009, 08:52:08 am by MLM »
TIME IS THE TELLER OF ALL TRUTHS AND THE HEALER OF ALL HURTS

shaun

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RE: Qingdao Aug 23 - Sept 8, 2009
« Reply #214 on: September 06, 2009, 09:05:05 am »
Quote from: 'David5o' pid='15628' dateline='1252240094'

Shaun,...#268

I think you better go back and read again through this thread Shaun, and read Mikes comments and statements, There isn't any question that she had been dishonest, and for a very long time too. So no leap of faith on my part... The post your referring too, ...I stand wholeheartedly by.....

I basically agree with the rest of your post Shaun, there are some points that i would question as to there validity, but nothing i can see an issue with!!


268???  WOW!!!   I don't support that opinion at all.  Your opinions are much more valuable than that kind of response.  Sounds like someone might have been upset with you.

On the surface with what you have said I would agree but have a few PM's with Mike about this I have to say that Jessica was in a self protection mode not a get Mike mode.  Mike had wisdom to see through that and get to the core of the issue.  I wonder how many men have not tried and run from the situation like the guy who hid in his room the whole time he was in China.

Mike having a analytical; programmer type personality began looking for the root of the problem and has found a wonderful loving woman behind the issues. I wonder how many men have walked away and called her deceitful?  After all, your in China, there is a major problem, you might as well figure it our before you leave.  What Mike has done for the brotherhood is nothing short of miracle not in the Biblical sense.  He has opened our eyes to the fact that there are two completely different sides when dealing with an agency.  Most of them are all about the money and not the people. They will steal your money just as much as they will steal hers. They are an equal opportunity thief.

In this case and I can't say this for all cases she was a victim also and Mike has really opened an area for us to consider as we move forward.

Offline Chong

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RE: Qingdao Aug 23 - Sept 8, 2009
« Reply #215 on: September 06, 2009, 12:11:53 pm »
Mike ... Glad to read your latest post.  :icon_biggrin: Have a safe trip home !!!

David5o ... Done as requested.

DavidE ... The story is fully documented on Jim's thread ... post # 168
« Last Edit: September 07, 2009, 12:40:33 am by Chong »

Offline Buzz

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RE: Qingdao Aug 23 - Sept 8, 2009
« Reply #216 on: September 06, 2009, 12:17:57 pm »
Quote from: 'mpo4747' pid='15645' dateline='1252251914'
Sunday September 6....

""Hey there guys .... 24 hours ago I put up post #237, and it looks like this post will be number #295 .... wow you all had a lot to talk about concerning Jessica, and myself.""

Mike, nice to get a report.  Now can you imagine how many posts there were for Jessica from her support group. Most likely a worlds record!!  You both have kept life interesting here for us all.  Have a great last day, and a safe trip home.  

buzz
« Last Edit: September 06, 2009, 12:20:12 pm by Vince G »

Scottish_Rob

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RE: Qingdao Aug 23 - Sept 8, 2009
« Reply #217 on: September 06, 2009, 12:28:11 pm »
Welcome back to the mad house mate...:huh:

Have a nice 'last day' with the lady of your dreams...:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

and a pleasant trip home...:icon_biggrin:

David5o

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RE: Qingdao Aug 23 - Sept 8, 2009
« Reply #218 on: September 06, 2009, 01:12:29 pm »
Shaun,

Hahaha, No, no-ones upset with me, ...well maybe Chong!!

No, I've been working on sizing some heavy cables on a project i'm designing, and couldn't get the program to do the calc's correctly. so had to do them by hand, only to find when i was nearing the end that i had the program to the wrong setting!! ....Grrrr!!  Still all done now. ..haha!!

OK, you want a more detailed answer....  I think i'd better get one thing straight here before i go any further.
I have never thought of Jessica as a bad person as such, i have only tried to point out that she had been dishonest with Mike. Now it really doesn't matter her reasons, the fact is that she was, and for a very long time too. This so called self protection mode is fine, but you can't keep that up for 14 months and still be able to use that as a reasonable excuse or explanation.  I have never thought or implied that she was out to get at Mike, in fact that's the first time it's ever come up.

There are ways and means for the ladies to protect themselves, against men that have ulterior motives other than for finding a wife. Somewhere along the line, after all the EMF's the IM/Cam private emails and whatever other mode of communication, there has to be some sort of trust to make that final decision on whether to meet that guy or not. Some will inevitably get hurt/burnt in the process, but that goes for the guys too..
Don't forget, all these meetings are conducted in there own country, so the moment they want out, for whatever reason, good or bad they can....and we know that they do!!

There were other options open to her also, ...like hiding her profile until such time she was ready to try again, or try to get Mikes email address, and let him know what's going on. No, not having a computer isn't an excuse, Japan like everywhere else has cyber cafe's everywhere, and if she didn't have computer skills, i bet her 16 year old daughter has. But that option requires a little effort on her part, ...and that just it, there was never any effort shown, to get to know Mike better during those 14 months!!

As you say, Mike may well be, the only man on this Forum to be able to see past all the other stuff, and get to the core issues of what's been happening and why. At least it seems as if she is coming clean, and telling the truth to Mike since he's been in the country. As it stands now, Mike had made his own decisions as an individual to overlook/forgive the dishonesty that brought him out to China, which is, as everyone says here commendable, and i'm sure he wouldn't of taken those decisions lightly, or if he couldn't of seen light at the end of the tunnel. ...None of this has ever been an issue with me, or anyone else as far as i can see!!

I think the main issues between the sides so to speak, is that there are some here, that are now condoning what she had done to Mike for all those months, and some even going as far to saying, among other things that she was honest!!! Well i'm sorry, she wasn't, and there is No getting away from that fact! even Mike has said he had to admit that.

This condoning of a particular lady, is doing nothing for the aims of this Forum who are in the main, trying to fight through this to find ways of stopping or minimising, the amount of dishonesty that's going on within the agencies and by the ladies themselves. Are we aware that ladies have been hurt and or burned?? Maybe not as much as we should be, but none the less there is rarely if any excuse that can be held up as being an OK  for being dishonest in an ongoing relationship, especially an internet relationship.... where honesty is the real bedrock of any chance of success...

David....

Note...  This was written while Mike had already posted his last posting, ( i hadn't read it ) there are maybe a couple of points that could be changed or added to here, but the main gist i think remains the same.....
« Last Edit: September 07, 2009, 05:59:44 am by David5o »

Arnold

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RE: Qingdao Aug 23 - Sept 8, 2009
« Reply #219 on: September 06, 2009, 01:41:56 pm »
Okay now , David you made your point and so have other's . Now this Thread is going back to Mike and Jessica and how he feels , which looks to me ... he had all the help from us he needed ( good or not so good ) . He has worked it out , so no more need to bring any of the past happening's into this " his " Thread . Now that they are happy where their at , so let's do  the same for them and enjoy  what Mike and Jerssica have gained . A Relationship that will outdo many other's and I'm sure of that .
Thank you Mike for your detailed Trip and have a safe flight back home . I know you will be in some more hard times ... being away from Jessica now . But it is all for the better at the end .
« Last Edit: September 06, 2009, 01:44:44 pm by Arnold »

Arnold

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RE: Qingdao Aug 23 - Sept 8, 2009
« Reply #220 on: September 06, 2009, 07:16:36 pm »
Mike ... looking at the Eyes of both of you ... I see Sparkle and Love coming from them for each other . So happy for you two .
Both of you had a up-hill climb , but I think it's down-hill from here on ( I didn't say easy ) . Good Luck in the future , we alway's have the Man above .. to guide us . :angel:

Vince G

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RE: Qingdao Aug 23 - Sept 8, 2009
« Reply #221 on: September 06, 2009, 11:19:04 pm »
Mike see if the resolution on the camera can be changed? Most digital's have settings and even the smallest is pretty good size. The setting you have now is 480 pixels regular web pics are 72.

Offline Martin

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RE: Qingdao Aug 23 - Sept 8, 2009
« Reply #222 on: September 07, 2009, 01:17:48 am »
Having been on the road this past few days, it seems like I missed out on some interesting debate...and maybe a little more.  Now, if I was smart, i would stay out of this...but I have never been accused of being smart.

First off, Mike, very interesting reading.  It seems you certainly have your work cut out for you, but you have made the best of your situation, and made it work for you.

However, like some others here, I also have questions.  These are my questions, and are only meant to offer thought..and also lets future members think about things.

I do find it strange that 14 months passed where there was little information given to you.  I can somewhat accept what you said, where she did not want the agency to know her personal business.  So why did she not switch over to private e-mail?  Also, if she is trying to get away from the agency, and has this deep distrust of foreign men (especially Canadians???), why did she come to meet you?  In one of your earlier posts, you were saying that it seemed like she was hearing a lot of information for the first time...information that you had clearly sent over EMF's.  Something just doesn't sit right with me.

Also, had she switched over to private email, she would have been able to tell you about this whole Japan thing.  It just seems there are more questions than answers...but this is my opinion...you are the one that is there, and you are the one that can guage how things are going.

I am glad you are able to make things work out for the better.  You have certainly had an interesting trip.  I hope all goes well my friend.

Martin

Scottish_Rob

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RE: Qingdao Aug 23 - Sept 8, 2009
« Reply #223 on: September 07, 2009, 07:26:42 am »
Mike
I know I said things in this thread mate, but I now think that, the past (letters and agency) should now be put to the back of the burner, and NOW is the time to move on...

You will have all the letters sent both ways..before you leave, do you think it would be a good idea to (once computer is set up) put them all into a folder for her to read through???  Then with the web cam I am assuming you will set up for her, you will be able to 'go' through things in more detail with her !!!

On saying that, THERE are people in the world who are just NOT able to get their heads around this machinery...:icon_biggrin:

David5o

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RE: Qingdao Aug 23 - Sept 8, 2009
« Reply #224 on: September 07, 2009, 08:08:17 am »
Mike,



How exactly are you planning to communicate now, once she has returned to Japan??  I know you have set up a qq / cam address that you plan to use, but that isn't going to be of that much use, for full communication, where there is a language problem. You could now use the agency email address, but would have to be careful what is said about Japan. Or you could use a private email, but then you still have the language problem again??

Without going back and reading all the threads again, there was talk about the use of a translation unit between you, but can't remember if that was yours or Jessica's, or if it was yours and you were leaving it with Jessica or not.
If for whatever reason, she does have that machine at her disposal i guess she could use that to translate your emails, if your emails are written in simple English that is. Also, if she does have a means of translating your new emails, then Rob does have a point, she could in fact translate all the emails/letters you had sent previously, all be it,  ....being a bit harder to translate.....


David.....
« Last Edit: September 07, 2009, 08:08:40 am by David5o »