My conclusions so far…

[Andy]

Reading through the most interesting post here in this forum and the official forum too I have came to certain conclusions that might be right or wrong. I seek conformation on my findings or perhaps corrections.

1.   Admire letters are from the agency not from the lady.
2.   The EMF letters might be sent to a man from a translator without the lady knowledge to increase revenue.
3.   The EMF letter was written by the lady, but enhanced by the translator for a greater effect.
4.   The EMF letter word by word might actually been written by an honest lady.
5.   The lady instructs the translator to write you letters to keep you around just in case there is no one better shows up.
6.   The ladies are in contact with multiple men. This is a race! If you are the first to show up in China your chances are better.
7.    The ladies do not care much about the letters they pay the agency for “results” so they want to see the men come to them.
8.   When you engage a long distance relationship with someone a “leap of faith” is required since questioning her identity is unacceptable.
9.   When you travel to China there is a chance that the lady do not want to see you or you might find an other lady waiting for you or the lady is older than what she looks like from the pictures.
10.   There is a chance after the engagement ring on her finger that she will change to the worst.
11.   The lady lies about her family and tells you they are fine with a husband from the west, but actually they are against it.
12.   The agencies are profit driven they do not care much about your broken heart and money spent.


I took the leap of faith and trust the lady I have writing to, but honestly I am making an effort not to fall in love just yet, at least not until I meet her face to face.

[David5o]

Andy.

ALL your assumptions are correct, and all of them are incorrect. You seem to be concentrating on all the bad things in the posts here. Sure there are bad experiences been aired here, but there by no means the norm.

I suggest you read the threads you read before, but this time with an open mind, there-by also taking notice of the positive comments posted within those threads.

I totally agree with you about waiting till you meet your lady face to face, before you start thinking about any plans for marriage.
Don't , whatever you do fall in love with an image, and what amounts to translated words.
Use this time, to get to know your lady, as deeply as possible, find out as much about her as you can, like hers and your like's and dislikes etc etc.... try to use as many different communication tools as you can.

David.....

[JimB]

David is absolutely correct.  But there is one other thing, the 24 hours rule.  I think everyone on this site agrees with it.  Before jumping the gun on anything you find objectionable or questionable, sit back and wait 24 hours before saying or doing anything.  Because if you immediately jump in chances are you will be wrong. Keep the difference in cultures in mind.  I have learned the hard way.  Most everybody here knows my story. But, for you. I will make it short.  Over the course of a few months I had been writing my lady. we had gotten pretty close, I thought, so I decided to go there.  Prior to going though I made a couple of backup plans and pretty much threatened the agency that if I did not have anyone there to meet me very bad things would happen. Long story shorter, she met me but really had only received about 4 or 5 of my EMF'S. But by the time I left, we had fallen for each other and were engaged.  we are getting married on August 21st.  You should also know about Irish. his story is probably the one who solidified us as a brotherhood.  That was back when we were on facebook.  So even if things seem to start off bad, they can have a happy ending IF you keep a positive attitude.  Knowing what to look for along the way will give you a much better chance of having good results.  
But, back to what David said, if you keep a bad attitude you will not last.  This is a long and arduous journey, so if you are not ready to go the whole way, dont bother getting started.  It will cost you money, time and possibly hurt you and the lady.  But the end result if you do find her is finding a wonderful woman who will treat you right and will make you feel like a king or a schmuck depending on what you do not how they got up that morning and watched the talk shows. lol.  Best of luck to you.  You know where to come for help. You will get straight answers, maybe not the ones you wanted but everyone here only means to help not be mean.  Those that do find the highway in a very short period of time.  Everyone will be willing to help.

Jim

[MLM]

Andy,
        What David and JimB are telling you is correct but, don't think all the money spending is just in EMF's or the trip(s) to China this is just the begining, after the two of you decide to marry then there is of course all that expence but then there is more, much more, there are the fees for every thing you need to file for your lady right up to and including the airfare to your country, the visa process will drive you insane at times and try to break you savings account, after she is here then there are more things to file and they all have a fee, she will also need some things so there are the shopping trips.
Brother if you are not prepared to go all the way, then as these people are saying, don't bother to start, but if you do start and find the ONE then as JimB has said, you will be rewarded with a most wonderful woman that will encourage you to do better at all you do, will help you with everything, and will take better care of you then you Mom did and will show you her love for you every day for the rest of her life, of course that is unless you make her loss face then your a$$ isn't worth a single red cent.
Good luck and best wishes.

[Vince G]

Andy, any one of those listed can happen. Not will happen. David had some solid points made.

Jim, How are you doing?

I will say even though some of this (list) has happen to some. None of it happen to me. I consider myself very lucky. But this was only with the last lady, now. The others before? goes from one on that list to everything with one woman. It's more of a keep your wits about you list. Crap happens.

As for the fall in love part. I'm crazy for my lady. All I could tell her was there was a "possibility" when I get there we might marry within a few days? She agreed. This is an agreement that after we meet if we find we are suitable and have the chemistry we feel needed? we will continue on. It's even become a joke between us. Who's going to run the other way first and when?

[Josh Markley]

What's good Andy?  Well I would have to say it is all a leap of faith.  Do you have what it takes?  It takes time, money, and patients and most of faith in your self you are doing the best thing for yourself.  Because after you meet your lady face to face the is nothing better in the world.  Well maybe marrying that lady but you will have to talk to Arnold, Rhonald, Martin or the other married guys here(sorry if I left you out).  And believe in the 24 hour rule.  I messed up did not use it.  I could have destoyed a relationship with one question that I have work so hard for the last 8 months.  So good luck man.  Go in with eyes wide open, but be smart about it.

[Andy]

I have decided to do this all the way no matter the cost. If I can finally find true happiness it worth every effort. I am 35 years old and it is time to think about myself and have a better future for myself. I am almost ready to fly to Changsha this October and reading the posts in this forum helped me prepared for almost everything that can be waiting for me when I land in China. I took time and read the positive posts also as they give vital information and further encouragement. I keep you guys posted how things are going and hopefully in time my story will be another successful and happy story on this forum.

[Willy The Londoner]

David is right. Do not fall in love with an image.  Do not fall in love with being in love.

Everyone knows that I spoke every week for hours for several months with the lady I came to visit.  Emails, emfs, natural photos, photos of family and then when we met we realised that we were likely to be good friends but not a married couple.

I cannot stress enough to you guys that until you meet you cannot make a final decision on your futures.

I have a new relationship in China.  Hopefully it will go from strength to strength but only time will tell.

Willy

[Sylvain D]

Maybe the best thing to do would "man can have feelings but must be cautious anyway, until the final met, so that he doesn't need to dig for a certain time".

For sure, we're all human and feelings can sometimes don't wait for us to be there... but from what I've learned too, an image through Internet without a real face to face just means nothing...
Ok it's a woman, ok she looks nice... but who is man to pretend he can conquer her heart in less than 3 days and that the woman is really nice in all points with him? Even the 24 hour rule' can't really be linked to that (I think I may be right)

Anyway, it is only by time that man can be sure of what he's doing and if he's doing well.

But whatever happens, nevermind and keep going, until the final met, then, you'll see if your feelings can be free, at last.

[Peter]

Andy... As one of the living proofs that a Chinese woman is one of the best things on earth you should realize that women are women in every country. The only difference is the culture thing. When you go to China you should think of that you are coming to a different country and a big difference in culture. You must accept their way of living and doing things in their way. Put away the Western way of thinking and just follow the steam and I think you will have a great experience. Never forget that we all are searching a lady from another country because we all want her as she is.
I sometimes get frustrated that my wife tells me that we are going somewhere just 2 minutes before we have to go but this is her way of doing it and I wouldn't change that for all the money in the world. It is a thrill to live with her sometimes but I would not try to change her way of doing it in any way. She doesn't tell you everything but this is only her way to "not bother your mind" with small things...She is Chinese....

And if anything goes wrong with your lady you could contact Mr Tang at ChangSha MeiYin International Marriage Introduction Company, agency P218. It is in my opinion the best agency in Changsha.

[shaun]

She doesn't tell you everything but this is only her way to "not bother your mind" with small things...She is Chinese....

And if anything goes wrong with your lady you could contact Mr Tang at ChangSha MeiYin International Marriage Introduction Company, agency P218. It is in my opinion the best agency in Changsha.

Andy, sorry to hijack this thread for a moment.

Peter, I have heard many of you say, "she doesn't tell you everything... not to bother your mind..."  Does this apply with a man talking to her?  Does she not want to hear everything so as "not to bother her mind?"

Secondly, you mentioned P218. Do you know Melody who works there?  What is your impression of her? I am talking with one of her customers. Send the answer about P218 by private message please but I think the first question might be beneficial to others as well.