Operation Chongqing

[Chong]

I doubt you'll get any credits back from ChnLove. As far as they're concern, Ting is a free woman. She's not married. ChnLove can't be responsible for skeletons in a woman's closet. The fact that Ting has a boyfriend is not ChnLove's fault. They'll say it's the woman's onus to tell you she has a boyfriend and the fact that she didn't over 220 EMFs is a lack of communication between you two and the translator. I would go after the agency and the translator for deceit & fraud for withholding vital information. But the translator will plead ignorance and will claim that she had no knowledge of the Chinese boyfriend.

I hope they write you back buddy but it's looking bleak. Sorry !!!

[Rhonald]

Sorry Sylvain, I was pushed to join the lunch crew here and did not finish my posting properly. But my reference to D'Artagnan, was because you wore your heart on your sleeve for us all to see and read. D'Artagnan was just a fictional character, while you lived the real life adventure. It is always easier to read about others adventures, but to live our own, that is what builds character. It is unfortunate that your trip was such wonderful reading because of the problems you encountered. Your journey captivated our attention and our hearts.

You are still in the midst of an emotional storm. Thanks for sharing with us your inner thoughts. And I hope the rest of your week you can find that calm harbor to take refuge to collect your thoughts.

What I have learned from your journey and from the others responses are that yes we need to make sure the parents are aware of the foreigner courting their daughter. It seems that most of the bad results we have seen have been with younger women on Chnlove. Maybe because of their age, they do not view the seriousness of their endeavor in marrying a foreigner. It should be obvious to most of the ladies that they would be the ones moving.

What happened to you was also many of the fears I had before going to China my first time. How could I handle myself after pouring my heart into my letters? I saw how excited you were before your trip. Your trip turned sour but through it all you tried to keep a true heart. It is this romantic streak that you carry, like us, believing that the pursuit of LOVE is a noble and worthy goal. Some of us will meet with failure because of deception, some because of lack of foresight. It does seem that we have had too many set backs, with yours being the latest. It seems strange that Ting would pay good money to join the agency on just a lark. But I agree with Vince that it seems like a game was being played. Don’t blame yourself for being fooled. I think this is a path we all must travel in order to fully understand what True Love is. Heck, I am still learning, and from vicariously reading your journey, it has allowed me to learn from you. After all, sometimes truth is stranger then fiction.

[Skip]

Skip , I was only thinking that in a way we are making it harder for him , if we throw too much his way . Even meant to help him . We ourselves could go on and on about his Trip , knowing that he is also reading all our suggestions . After a while it will not help him but only confuse him more , to a point where he is ready to throw in the Towel , instead having time off to sort it all out by himself and make a decision based on his experience and our input's that he has already . Going back to work with just one day's rest after such an ordeal , he needs to be alone for a while . Unless he looks us up again for further answer's .

I am learning here.  I respect your experience.

I have eleven really good male buddies. We have met together for the purposes of sounding out issues in each other's lives--about 14 years.  No advice, just impressions from each.  Some of it is tough to take.  In the end, just as if you spent time with a therapist, it's your decision.  But, I honestly will defer to your suggestion and withhold my thoughts.  I appreciate all that you do and the time you give to the forum.

[Sylvain D]

But the translator will plead ignorance and will claim that she had no knowledge of the Chinese boyfriend

The translator said that Ting knew it recently in fact from her parents, but she knew the guy since 4 months and he was "good friend" for her.
Now, what really makes me angry, is to see that I've spent many many many money ... just to see that maybe I am blushed...
Ok, I played the "game", I hoped something that was maybe quite not sure at all, I ever wanted to go in China and meet Ting, even if I've never told to her via phone before, nor via webcam...

Readin' some discussion with her via QQ on my netbook just lets me "perplexe"? because I don't know what to understand...
She said me she really liked me, she had to think about marriage and so on with me "IF" it's gonna be with me and in france, how life would be and income, too...  sending me 2 pictures of her...
and 2 hours by webcam...
Well.. she told me many times she liked my flowers, she liked any other gifts, and one of the recent ones was a perfume, Yves Saint Laurent... her sister looked at it and really liked it... so did Ting...

But for sure, there are some things that I can't understand...
Maybe tomorrow all of it will become more understandable if Ting replies to me...
Just a night to see (it is 10:35 pm here, in France)

[Irishman]

What ever your decisions are it is only you that have to live with it.. Take your time Sylvain and think it over more than once before you decide..

Sylvain, i think summarized what we are all thinking the best, this is your journey, your life, don't make any rash decision, think it over, then once you think you know what's right, sleep on it, if you still feel the same take action.

I sometimes make a list of of + and - about a thing I cannot decide, sometimes just writing it all down makes the decision easier, most times readin the list that i've more things in the + than the - or they are more important things  and the right decision is obvious.
Take your time, and once you have made up your mind stick with your decision.

[Sylvain D]

Irish, I quite understand all of that, and it's quite hard for me to make a list with all & nothing to write...

Sometimes, I say myself that love is so blind that we could trust all & nothing, just because we love...
Right now, I just feel stupid because my feelings should had not be like that until I've met Ting in real...
But even in real, she was more beautiful than via pictures I had from her profile... and via QQ.

In my personal case, I just don't see what I have to win, to be with someone for many hours, thinking to myself that I am with that person, and not at work...
Even if I was at work and would see a friend of me, without any good reasons, I would be laid off on the next day...  that's why I just can't understand if Ting really wanted to play with me.. because it seems she didn't.
But because she would like me, she even could send me a nice flight, and anything else...

I would have liked my story to have a very happy end like most of yours, truly..
Madly
Deeply..
It seems it is just "as a dream" with a "turnin' around", until Ting replies to me with any more explanations.

[Sylvain D]

Well, well, well...

I think I shall be ready to face how things will turn on (in a few days?) with dignity, and saying myself, that I don't have to regret anything...
I played the game, I wanted to speak with Ting, I wanted to see her, I wanted to show her feelings...
I did it all.

I have written to Chnlove, saying that I closed my request, saying all was resolved...
I did not mention what was really the problem I could have had in Chongqing and how was the situation with Ting...

For sure, I would really like something magic to happen...

Yesterday, when I was sleeping, I had a mail for Siriu (Ting's translator, from the agency), who I met in Chongqing last week. She wrote me that, due to the weather, she could had no really good connexion for Internet.
She said that Ting's sister told her about Ting's feelings for me and that.... Ting began to fall in love for me but didn't say it to me. By the way, she said too that Ting was willing to marry me. She said too that she (Siriu) cared about men, and asked if I really will go in October to see Ting once again.
Yeah, you can easily understand that I woke up with a smile...

But, as I have written to Ting via an EMF, I saw today she got it, but she didn't give any answer. Nor that she sent me any mail or anything else.
That's a reason that just lets me thinking she maybe needs some more time or that, maybe will I get an emf from her tomorrow morning, who knows... just going into a "no way"... ?

If Siriu and Ting's sister are right, I then have to face future differently once again.
By the way, I wrote to Siriu, asking any questions about Ting and asking her to confirm her feelings.
Because I don't want to force her, nor that I don't know what is happening between her and her boyfriend.

Anyway, right now, I don't really know how to admit anything without any sign of life from Ting.
And then I will admit if I just was the bad rabbit...

Or not.

Maybe another answer in a few couple of days, maybe not.
Actually, I'm here, she's there...
If I can easily admit I miss her, I can say too that I'm ready to go to next step asap.

[Peter]

I think that hope is the last thing that will fade away for you. I really hope that you will have some luck after your trip and all thing is going to work out your way. Take your time and let Ting make her decision...

[Sylvain D]

Is hope a part of destiny?
Shall we believe in it?
anyway, as I think up right now, I did nothing bad, and I appreciate the fact that Sirui wrote me. Just as if things are maybe not so bad...
I'd like to have some luck, too, but if I would be really a fucky lucky man, I'd rather not let that luck go away later

"Take your time"

*watches his own watch*
*takes it*

And then? What's next?:icon_cheesygrin:

[Arnold]

Sylvain , you have all of us waiting on the sideline for Ting's next move , hope it's in your Favor . You little Rabbit you .:icon_cheesygrin:

[Tiztom]

Sylvian all the best mate, do you have Ting's sisters phone number? If you do why not call her and get the actual facts from a family member, you seemed to be able to communicate well enough with her in China.

[Sylvain D]

Any news via EMF

My dear Xixi,

Nice weather with the coming of your letter! Also brings me nice feeling of happy!After the heavy rain the air become very fresh and the whole streets become very clean.So we we meet with bad thing,but forsure there muxt be something good hidden.^^

Dear Xixi,I also miss you a lot.In fact I should admit that when you are here, I do not cherish you and even wish you can come back to France as soon as possible.because I feel I can not communicate with you and I really meet with many problems about that.But now when you leave me I feel much lost in my heart.i think I begin to miss you a lot.

I deicide to tell the truth to you.because my sister had told you.But without the translator I think you can not understand well.I only should say that there are to many misunderstandings between us.In fact one of my friend introduce this website to me.And I wait for you all the time.At first my parents believe it.But after they wait a long time,they think maybe the foreigners will cheat us.SO they doubt it and ask my realatives to introduce some boy to me.And at that time I do not know wehther you really will come or not.SO I just keep touch with that boy.And these days he sunddenly give money to my parents and also begin to give some money to me and said we should begin to prepare the wedding.I am not willing but my parents ask me to do that.but at this time I know you will come here.So my feeling is very complicated.Can you understand???And after staying with you I feel I still like you much more than that one.Dear Xixi,I have not been married.I think we still have chance to fight for our future.if I really marry that one, we will lose the chance to be together.So I never mean that I cheat you.I just express my real feeling.i also miss you a lot.After your going I miss you so much really.I think more than your imagination.

I have seen your photos.Little angle is so lovely I wish oneday I can hug her.She is really very beautiful.But dear I wish to see your photos.I miss you.How can you be so merciless to not show your pics here???I miss you.
P.S.I have called my translator.She said she will wirte to you soon.Did you get her letter???

Yours
Forever
Ting

it is 05:02 am here in France,I do not sleep well because I know I was waiting for news from Ting. Well, what else to say?
I've replied many minutes ago, I told her I was honest since the beginning, I told her I wanted to come back and to be introduced to her parents, but I want her parents to give me any chance to meet them and to show them that foreigners do no cheat their daughters...
by the way, I have called Ting's sister, she said she will write me today. I wrote on Ting's QQ (the 2 Id's) and to the translator, too.
I just can't do anything else..

I don't either know what to think about that emf, except that it seems that Ting likes me more than the guy...


EDIT :
06:06 am
I wrote to the translator, she replied me she is translating my letter to Ting asap.
I wrote to Sherry Chu, requesting a big help from their services.
I think that, if we are customers here, they should help us on many things, and after all, I'm using their services by writting to Ting. If their wish is to have many good comments and so on, I think they could help me to "convince" or "beg" Ting's parents to let me just any chance to meet them and to show that I'm not a bad foreigner at all.
So, maybe is love "crazy" and so on... I think I am using anything that can help to do my best, just wishing Ting's father and mother would let me one chance to be with Ting...
I know, I am maybe mad/crazy and so on...
I just know what I want...
It's Ting, only her.

I'll keep this topic updated whenever possible.

[Arnold]

Hey , maybe I'm part French Romantic , but if I was in your Shoe's Sylvain , you know my answer . Get that Glove out and Fight for your Lady . Show Ting's Parent's , you are a better Man for their Daughter . Remember , you need to make sure ... your doing most of that before your next Visit . Write them a seperate letter ... that Ting can translate ... Flower's to the Mom . Make sure you know their Names , birthday's anything personal you can get from Ting . She's got to fight with you on this or it's not going anywhere .
But .. you are in your Shoe's , so you need to take it one step :icon_arrowu: or just let it be .

[Neil]

I admire a man that can stand up for what he believes in.  Good on you Sylvain.  I have a feeling if her parents see your courage, strength and commitment they will come around.

[Sylvain D]

Thanks about your comments
Writting a letter? A handwritten one? Or just like a mail which would be printed?
I think a handwritten one would be better... but I write very badly ^^
Anyway, this is a first good thing.
But about flowers for the mom and so on, I don't know what to think, because for my first travel there, I offered Ting some chocolates, and she NEVER told me what she did with it, nor if her parents got it and liked it..
What I see now is there are only 2 issues.
Or it goes fine, I can have her parents's accord.
Or it goes bad, and I go in a "no way, dude".

I think that I just have to show that effectively, I really have feelings for Ting and that I am very sincere and so on.

Well, I should think about sleeping sometimes, too.
Eh, brothers'! if one of you wants to sleep a bit for me, I'm ok