Operation Chongqing

[Sylvain D]

I think effectively I need to more see about many information for all that, because I didn't look at it nor thought at it before.

Well, many thanks for the informations, brothers
Let's advance a bit ... and see where it will (lead?)

[Vince G]

1. Ting's parents don't have any fate in meeting online. But the fact that you went there should have been proof it is real?

2. Ting said, "my parents today still insist that they are not willing I marry you and live a so far country. Because nowadays Chinese parents only have one Child and they do not want their child go to so far country"

NOW is the chance to say, In France she and you may have more then one (1) child. And travel to China as a family is not forbidden. She may go as often as possible. (I would assume?)

She seems to think she cannot marry until she is a citizen? Make this clear too. I don't know the French law but I do know here in the America there is a short time she cannot travel outside the country. But this is maybe more or less one years time? I would find the answers right away for France.

3. The MONEY thing again. She telling you she will work to support her parents. (because my parents depend on me. Every month I should provide them some money for their life.) She is asking if YOU can send money if she doesn't work. (I should work after our marriage or not???)

ALSO she is saying she will pay the other man back that was given to the parents. (and if so, of course I will turn back the money to that man.) Hint! Hint! she is suggesting you cover this too.

Take this as my opinion I hold a grudge and anger at my Ex-wife who had the word "money" in everything she said. When I put enough in the household just for the bills and no extra and said I had no more. Putting the rest into my business account is when she went to find another. This is the reason I won't marry an western woman. If I have to buy them I use them as such.

I am not saying stop or continue with Ting. That is up to you. But you are far more committed then she is. You need to see if she is willing to equal your feelings.

[Sylvain D]

From the things I've seen there, Ting never looked at me like a "bank man", because she already know I've just enough to buy myself what I want when I'm alone, and when I'm 2, I can help but anyway, she HAS to work...
or did she think there are still any women who live at Neanderthal's age? (joke inside)

So, if she had to give back money to that man, I would wait and see how she would do..
I can't do anything without any clear words from her.

What I see too, is that I requested her sister and Ting, her parent's adress because I wanted to write them, sending any pictures from me, talking about me inside a letter and so on...
But no reply about that... So, I'll try to see how I can do to make this point "clear" and "understandable".

Well, her sister wrote me today, as promised...
No bad news, no good ones, too. In fact, she said that Ting like me but her parents don't, but she says too that she needs to convince them in the following days, and has to speak about the France, a nice country. She says too that Sirui would help on it...

No news from Ting directly on QQ, I don't know really why...
Maybe would her sister tell me why?

News about french nationality and citizen :
   
*

By marriage since the law of 24 July 2006 on immigration and integration, a unit to a foreign spouse french for four years, can apply to acquire French nationality by declaration. The deadline is extended to five years if the applicant does not have resided continuously for at least three years in France after marriage or in the case of residence abroad, when her spouse french was not included in register of French outside France. The applicant must also have a level of proficiency in English sufficient, "according to his condition."

From a legal point of view, nationality is a necessary but not sufficient, to acquire citizenship. It should also enjoy his civil and politiques.Ainsi a child, having obtained French nationality becomes french citizen until 18 years of age, age of the right to vote.

  In light of this enumeration, citizenship in France, compared to other countries, appears to be relatively open. Indeed, the French seem relatively easy to obtain, particularly with regard to the German example. For the longest time, only the blood right there, and it is only recently that the law has permitted the acquisition of German nationality through ius soli.

update 24 04 2007

Well, I've got to check again for many things..
and asking to Ting to talk to her via webcam,too.

Any  more news later.

[China Shark]

Sylvain I think there is hope yet agree with Vince on her making more of an attempt to meet you halfway. Also, I didn't forget about the letter to be translated, having issues with pc so I will see Sandy in person Monday and have her it emailed that afternoon. Been kind of busy picking extra teaching jobs as of late. After reading the posts I'm starting to believe there is some light at the end of the tunnel. We're all routing for you brother.
China Shark Mike

[Sylvain D]

Hajo, Vince, Tiztom, many thanks for the advices (especially to Hajo for being EU resident)
Thanks too, China Shark, for helping me. I think I could begin to write the letter and then you could translate it in chinese?
Or maybe (because if it has to be handwritten, I'll never learn 100 ideograms to write in a few days...^^ actually, I know some sentences, but I know how to say it, and how to write it in pinyin... I feel a bit stupid because I know just a few ideograms (ren, nian, guo, zhong guo, kou, yi... ) well, you understand it, I need to progress some more), then, maybe should I better see with someone directly in Paris who could help if it really has to be handwritten? Because if it just on a page, written on a computer, I don't know if that would really be "nice" for them to read, later..
    
??...
Translation : Ah! Take a look at the man, he dared to write Chinese ... he even think that this is like painting? They just do not write Chinese characters correctly, plus they are just too great, there is no uniform

Vince, talking about money, for Ting, I think, she is right when she says that each month, she tries to help them, but with her money, it's quite difficult... I checked for her adress (via chnlove) and got a view via google maps which seem to be like some "old quarters" of Chongqing, or better shall I say, not really in the city, but around and which could be like "poor", too.
Anyway, for sure, she should work when she could be with me, and living in France. because having someone who I have to pay all and nothing, it will be really hard. I have a friend of mine (belgian) who knew his girlfriend (canadian) via Internet. they are together now but he said it was quite difficult to her to come in Belgium and to stay there, because of administrative papers and so on.
So now, he said to me when I was back from China "you have to know, that if I had to do it once again, I would probably say not, just because of the difficulty and so many things else".

I know he might be right.
I know I might exposure myself to real difficulty.
But who never tries, never knows.
I'm not Napoleon,
Nor Caesar,
But I know I just want to conquer Ting's parents and, for sure, her heart, too. (ehhm, someone says to one of my ears that in fact, I've always conquered her... )

[Arnold]

Sylvain , I really think that Ting's Parent's will give in soon , if Ting's Love for you is BIG enough to conquer them for you . Thinking as if I was Ting's Dad , It's all about being taken care of in his older age . Since his other Daugther is moving away already , he is trying to hang on to Ting for that security and want's her to stay put in China . This might look selfish on his part , but can you blame him ?
So , it is quite simple , show him you take good care of his Daugther and make him feel HE is taken care of in his old age , which of course include Money being send at some point for their living expense's . I realize that is a lot to chew on for you , with limited income to support not only Ting but her folks as well . It will get easier ones Ting will find work in France , but again .. that will take some time to materialize , due to the Language problem and being in Europe . It is a up hill climb for sure , but the Love you could gain from it will be unmatched as a reward . We all are hanging on ... that thin rope with you ... wishing to be pulled to safety .

[MLM]

Sylvain, My wife and I send to her fathert every month $100.00 to help him with his coast of living, it doesn't sound like a lot but for him it helps a lot and he knows that I love his daughter very much and would do any and everything for her, when Zhou and I first went to China to see her Mom and Dad he was NOT very happy with me, but we sat and talked for about 2 hours ( had a translator ) he started to warm up to me, I brought along with me a 12 year old bottle of Scotch and he loved it, after that and him watching me like a hawk for two days he said one night that he was happy to have me as a son, the rest is history.
I'd say hang in there, the ship aint sunk yet.

[Sylvain D]

Arnold, Michael, thanks for your comments, too
For sure, 100 € or 100 $ are quite "nothing" for us... for me, it is approximatively 2 times a full gasoil for my car, that's all.. so,  I can permit it without any problem.
Michael, you just have to know that your story makes me smiling, because I'd really like the same story with Ting's father.
I know anyway it can be difficult.
I sent Ting a letter, where I ask her many things, like 1) 2) 3) up to 10), saying all that was important and that I would be very glad if she could asnwer to all of it.
For sure, I asked again her parent's adress and names, birthdates. By the way, her mother should receive any flowers soon, maybe on next week... I wish she could even smile to have some...
I also asked Ting to write me a letter, where she could talk me a bit some more about her, what she did before (as a child, for example), and so many things, so that I can better know about her and maybe her family.
I asked too, about fixing a date for my coming in October. The quickest she can talk to her parents and gain their agreement to meet me, the quickest I can check for good prices to flight again in Chongqing.
I also asked about talking again to her on QQ. I think that, when I left, she "preferred" using the translator to write me, and not to talk to me "directly", because of some misunderstoods.. arf
Well, there are other things, for sure, I have asked her. Let's wait and see

The idea to make Ting coming in France for 5 days (off work) is a very good idea. I will work on it with Ting, so she could have a view from my country and see (maybe) how life is everyday.

Maybe some of you will gonna say I'm dumb but...
It just seems like all my "heart/soul/mind" did not come back at 100%. I feel like I've left a part of me over there.
I miss China. I also miss Ting.

I wish having news from her tomorrow,if possible.

Brothers in hood, (and not in wood ^^), many thanks once again for all your support/consideration/motivation and so on

[Arnold]

You got my Vote Sylvain : your not Dumb ... far from it ! Love does that to you :icon_cheesygrin:

[MLM]

The first man that says you are dumb should maybe go look in the mirror, sir, you are anything but dumb, I wish all of us could say we would have acted in the manner you did while in China, Sylvain, don't give up the fight, when times seem the darkest, remember you are fighting for your love, Ting and if you feel she is worth the fight then we, the brotherhood should stand behind you.
Good luck brother, your a good man and its a privilege to call you friend.

[Sylvain D]

Many Thanks, Michael

So, about not giving up the fight, I don't give up about the flight, and HERE IT IS  ^^

I could go there from :
19/09/09
up to 26/09/09
Price quite good : 531 € to go and come back, from Brussels, again ^^
About the Hotel, ^^ the french lady wrote me and said me there is an offer for September :
377 Rmb per night + 15% "charges"?

In fact, I am asking myself again if ...
One week shall may too short
maybe 2 would be better, this time..
Well..

I gonna put my holidays for that and see with my boss

Well, what do you think about that date?

I now have to see with my boss to have those holidays, just because I MUST GO THERE

[RobertBfrom aust]

Sylvain , to me the hotel cost seems quite expensive ,checkout Expedia.com.au , I have a rate for September of approx 320 yuan advance booking all inclusive , so don't get ripped off , and the best of luck , have not posted much , but have been reading a lot , any help you require in ChonQing just call , regards Robert .

[Sylvain D]

Why do you want me to call? I have a very bad accent, as a spanish cow, in fact
But I promise, if I need any help, I will call
About the hotel, well, don't forget it's a 5* where I could go
But I can spend some time there and some time in another one, maybe cheaper

'Seems like you quite know about Chongqing, why and do you have many tips for me, about there?

[RobertBfrom aust]

Sylvain , I am staying at the Hilton August 13 thru to 24 for my engagement , we have previously been in Changsha , but my Ying has lived most of her life in Chongqing and will help if required , but you have been up and down , but now things seem to be settling down , so I just keep on the sidelines , until the s--t hits then try to help .

[Sylvain D]

Robert, please, when you will be there, please ask for "laurence" , say she's a french woman working there, she knows me ^^ I'm sure she would be happy if you go and see her (she's a very nice lady ^^)
I know a few "grooms", too, very cool men, and also, some "cookers", too
Please keep me some watermelon for next time I'll go there

Don't forget to leave me any phone if you want me to call if needed ^^
By the way, I'm thinking about it.. but you'll be in Chongqing for 10 days so? ^^ Eh...  will you have any free time there or not at all?