Operation Chongqing

[RobertBfrom aust]

Yes Sylvain , I will say hello to your French lady , whilst Ying has all the days off while I am there , she will also be jumping back home to check on her son a few times , but as I also have a few things to do in ChongQing we will be out and about a lot , so will attempt to log in at some stage , if I am allowed out of her:angel: arms

[Sylvain D]

Oh, by the way, do you know "approximatively" where is that Big wheel?
Sorry for the quality, I was in a taxi, photo by night... :$

[RobertBfrom aust]

Sylvain , Ying thinks it is an amusement park in the NaPing district , I asked her should we go there , but she said it was for younger people ? , regards Robert .

[Sylvain D]

Oh, ok so
Well, I'll see on my next trip if I'll go just there to have a look (or not)
Thanks for the info', Robert

[Sylvain D]

Hi there.
So, a few news since yesterday...

My boss is ok about my next holidays in September, for 2 weeks.
However, I don't have any news from Ting since ... friday. Ok ok, I know she's not Speedy Gonzales... but I would have thought I could had any news a bit "quicklier?"
Well, maybe will I have some tomorrow...
I didn't reserve my flight, 'just waiting that Mrs Ting can tell me "it's ok" and so on...

Sometimes, I have to admit that I feel a bit disapointed because I can't talk to her via QQ since I've left Chongqing (I requested her to do something about that in a previous letter) and any little things else...

Well, 'just feel a bit up & down...
I just wish she could reply quickly...
:angel:

[Sylvain D]

Any news, not really good ones, but... what else to say...

My dear and lovely Xixi,
Always happy to get your letter.Today the weather here keep cloudy.I think this kind of weather is very nice because if the sun comes out,the weather here will become very very hot and the summer will really come.What's the weather like there???I wish you have nice weather.

Dear I also miss you.I wish you can accompany me here and by my side.^^But I know it is impossible now.I think you are so sincere and really very kind.But I do not know my parents can accept you or not.I can not give up them.Because after all they are my parents and they bring me up.How can I abandon them???these days I live very hard.Because the matter between you and my family I made some mistakes in my work.I think it is too bad to bring my problems to my work.But what can I do???I think of your thigns everyday and really feel very tried.

Dear I think you should consider too much about your second trip to China.Not because I do not wish you to come,just because of my parents' obstinateness.I am afraid that even you come here and they still do not agree us.I think you will feel very very disappointed and will think I cheat you.But who knows I never cheat you.you should consider too much ok???you can not just think you can solve every thing.After all we are not superman we can not control everyone's idea.I am afraid you will meet with many problems with my parents.

Yes I have know about the citizen in France.In fact I wish to go with you to France.I like that country really. I said to you I wish oneday I can go to France to visit Versailles.I also have many wishes before right???But I am afraid that we can not make them come true.I feel really very sorry for that.I just afraid my parents so `~~but I really do not wish give you up.

I know you are very responsible and kind.Now I feel that if I marry you and I really can not worry many things.But I said I have quarreled with my parents.I think they are too persistent.I think if they do not like you they will not like this person's gift.SO the most important we should do is that we should get the accept of my parents.But I think it is very difficult.I wish I can stay with you.But I think it is really need time to communicate with ym parents.Or can you wait me and maybe my parents will not insist like this oneday and at that time it is better for you to come here???

Thank you for comforting me when I'm sad .Picking me up when I'm down. Encouraging me when I need a shove. But most of all thank you for coming here before.you will in my heart.

Yours
Ting

I clearly understand about her parents. But as I replied to her, if she doesn't take time to speak with them clearly about us, talking about her feeling and happyness with me, who will? I requested once again ther sister's help, so did I with the translator.
For sure, Ting seems to be tired about all of it, so am I...
As I say, she won't abandon her parents, and I have to show them that I can have a simple life in France, and making things good, for Ting to have a good life and feel happyness.
I'm "bored" because there are many questions she did not reply...
I will let the "benefit of doubt" because she says she's tired and so on...
Anyway, as I said too, in a few days, she will receive some flowers, so will her mother, too. I don't think she will throw it in a bin. Maybe will she feel happy and let Ting and her father discuss a bit some more about me...
I know I am exposing myself to the biggest difficulty in my relation with Ting.
Sometimes, I think I should give it up...
But my heart and my mind still say me that something that is begun has to go on, even if there's an end... but giving up "so easily", just by saying "it's over" without having tried all I could.. it's not what I'm looking for.
Whatever happens, I said I want to go back again in September.
But...
Will I be able to see Ting more hours than the last time I went there?
Will I be able to go there and saying myself that it will probably be my last flight to see Ting?
Will I be able to understand that I will surely not meet her parents?
There are many questions which are still in my head...

Well...
I give me this week again to let Ting think about all of that.
If I can't even talk with her on QQ for the next 10 days, too, I will surely stop it.
I'm just bored to not be able to chat with her... nor to see her on webcam.
But maybe is it because she does not really have time for it, and when I come back home, it is 11:00 pm for her...
And as I'm tired because of my so shortly nights... it does not really help, too.

Well..
I told her about number of babies we can have in France,I told her about helping her parents and promising them I will really help them and Ting...
I think that, even if I tried all I could, I have no more ammos in my hands, in my mind and in my heart, to show to Ting everything I can do, to be with her.
I'm not Superman, for sure...
I'm just myself.

I hope she'll write asap.

[Ed W]

sounds like you've put forth so much for her. I hope she realizes the man she has  welcoming her into her life.

[Darius]

good job till now Seylvain,

here is my humble advice. As i said before try to assure her parents they are not losing their daughter. So how could you do that is the question, right? First off Dont try to please them. Be yourself. Dont try to do things because they are generally acccepted. I guess it will be very hard to get the permission of her father as long as he doent see you in person. He is the boss of the family. He will lose his face if he makes a wrong decision.
Try to calm down the tense situation. Go get the heart of her mother at first. The women can understand each other and their situation better. She is the key to the whole thing. Tell your lady she should talk to her mother alone. Send your photos and letters to your lady to show her mother. In your letters dont Show yourself as a nice french guy but as a caring human being. Tell about your daughter about your life as a whole. You must appeal to their hearts before they start to accept you and your mind as a french man. Tell her her daughter isnt going to go away for ever that you will come back to visit them on a regular basis or everytime they need her and you. Then try to ask for the permission to meet them. Show them respect. Assure them after that if they still feel you are not the right man for their daughter you would accept their decision.  Your Lady knows already her part of the responsibility. she wants to work to support her parents if needed. Aint these women so fascinating! Be patient and dont be angry with your lady, she has though time, as i see she is really a gem, she has done for you more than you can expect.

Please think about the whole thing over and over again. Is it really what you want? Think about it you can do everything and gain nothing, it is up to you. Think about what you can lose. Think about you could be in for a big disappointment. If yes go for it, but dont be just a sentimental fool ( sorry buddy ) again. Have a back up plan when you are there. Good luck.

[Ed W]

I gotta go with Darius on this. My wife said in her admire letter to me that she has a dream to meet mr. wright but does not broach realism.

[Sylvain D]

Darius, I totally agree with you. that's why I sent her mother some flowers (blue roses...ehmm...)
But.... honestly, with time that is going, slowly, I don't know if she'll get it...
I sent Ting some ones too, so I just ask to see about some pictures from her and her mother with the flowers.

I have no news from the translator, nor from her sister...so, I'm just asking myself if the letters I would write would really arrive to her mother, or if Ting would really show it to her...
With time that is going slowly but surely, I just begin to be bored... Ting didn't reply to many questions that I've asked her...
If most of you that think that I could be 'Mr Patience', be sure that for now, it just makes me becoming a bit angry...
I know I don't have to force Ting and her parents... Maybe is it a bad idea to please Ting to speak to them again about us...
Well...
I'd say that in my case, love is a bit like a war... so easy to start, so difficult to stop... but when I've used all my ammos, I don't know what I could use to go on...
I wrote many letters to Ting recently... just try to guess she replied to a little part of those 3 letters...
She wrote she likes me... wow... when I hear by her sister that the day when I was leaving Chongqing, she was with the chinese man, it just makes me "smiling" (but in a bad way), because I think I don't like someone like her, in that case... (yes, I'm a bit angry right now)
To me, there's still the chinese man who is still in "touch" with her... I couldn't clearly explain why, maybe because she said that her parents forced her to stay in touch with him... that's all.

When I read too that we can have many dreams but we have to see that it can't become true..It's totally wrong... Up to now, I realized most of them, the other ones, I got all my life to do it.

Well, I prefer stopping here now about those news...
Darius, I admit that I will maybe think more about your comment anyway.
Or better shall I let it be.

[stuart barlow]

i think you need let ting go,i think she is telling you nicely not to go and see her,because she knows your kind and sincere,she does not want to hurt your feelings.but there are defineable messages in her letters telling you that it cannot be,wether its her parents or the chinese guy,if your are going back in september then have a plan b so it wont be a total disaster,start writing to somebody from the same city,

[Sylvain D]

In fact, that is somewhere what I was thinking about... Because, to me, she might be always with the chinese guy... I just think that her "translator" tool did not spell correctly the sentence she wanted to say.
Maybe will she confirm it, maybe not...
I'm pretty sure in fact that the story is going to the end. Because of so many things, so many questions that she did not answer...
For sure, the culture is really different, and maybe was I "too blind" to believe that I could meet her parents... I better see this letter as a "don't come, please"...
I don't know what to say else... I'm not angry, for sure, sad... but I can not really fight against all that...
I'm pretty sure there are some questions with no answers.... "why did she make me come, why didn't she tell me before for the chinese guy..." and so on..
I think I'm not really false in my feelings right now, about all of that...
Maybe did she try to be "nice" with me but most of the time when we met there...
and maybe does she feel happy to earn money from the agency because she also met me...
well... maybe my feelings are a bit "black" tonight.. but anyway, that seems to be the correct answer to all of my questions.
More news to come soon... and a plan B should anyway be loaded. whatever would happen.

[David5o]

Sylvain,

I, and my better half have just read virtually the whole of your Thread here, 265 posts to date....

Don't you think that you have done enough now my friend, It's got to be pretty clear to you by now, that it just ain't going to happen. She has you up one minute, and straight back down the next and that is going to continue, on and on until you pull the plug on her.
Her story has so many twists and turns, that I'm as confused as anybody else here, reading your story.
I doubt that anyone here could tell you what game she is playing!! i certainly can't....
Don't you think, that you have now exhausted every avenue that you can, and that enough is enough!! If you keep on going like you are now, one things for sure, the outcome will always be a bad one for you mate!!

If you need anymore convincing, go back to the basics, ....She has Lied to You, She has led you on under false pretences, She has a boyfriend (yes, he's still around), She has let you come to China under a false impression, Showed no real interest to you while you were in China, Cost you dearly in your savings, do i really need to go on??
You have invested far too much time and money on her, what has she done for you?? ......Yes I'm still trying to think too ....hahaha!!, .....All i can think of, is give you timely snippets of false hope!!

You sound like a really decent guy Sylvain, don't let this lady turn you into something else. Cut your loses and go back to China as you planned in September, and stay well clear of her city, maybe somewhere a little easier (and cheaper) to get too, like Southen China  There are so many opportunities waiting for you there, i jest you not,  Being in the country is a bonus you just can't miss out on, the obvious one is actually meeting ladies face to face.

One last point I'd like to give you  Sylvain, is what my better half came out with after reading your thread.
She couldn't understand why your still writing to her, and came out with what i thought was a classic, "No good woman, she a game lady"  And i think that, ....is right on the button!!

Whatever you decide to do, i wish you good luck , and all the best, you certainly deserve it!!

David....

[victor-hills]

I have to say i think david is right here Sylvain,your a really good guy mate i think if you keep going with this its going to drive you mad Sylvain,think you need to put a end to this mate i can see you really getting hurt Sylvain.

all the best in what you deside to to Sylvain.

[Sylvain D]

With any "benefits of doubts", maybe didn't she never see any western man before... Maybe didn't she really think I would come to visit her...
but I did it. That may could explain why she felt upset, because of the situation...
Well, what else to say...
I really don't see myself spending 3 hours per day on my daywork, just to see someone, if I really don't want to see him/her... maybe did she lie all the line but that just sounds strange.
I don't know either what to think about her sister... I just notice she helped me sometimes when I was there, and spent some of her time with me... as for Ting, I don't know why she did it, if she didn't really like me.
Anyway, she had to be honest with me, for sure... just about the boyfriend... and her traditionalist parents...
I don't know too, why she asked for so many pictures of me and my daughter... really, I don't see, because if she was playing with me, it's more than abused...

I just wrote her, saying what I thought about all that...
For sure, it's like a "turning around and around"...

Now, I will look at other cities, or maybe the same but different ladies but who can speak in english, because that would really help.

Well, I need sleeping.
See ya all and thanx anyway for your comments:)