There are sometimes when man has to think back with a few part of what is called "brain"... and not with his heart.
My brain says that yes, this is the end... I got no way else, even if I broke any walls, even if her parents seem to like me, (on the end), even if Ying did her best to "help" Ting and me.. that was still not enough to make the final difference.
There is the fact that Ting created a new wall, by agreeing to marry the other guy.
To me, she already knew that would be like that because she spent most of the time with him when I was in Chongqing. But she didn't tell me the truth about that.
She already knew she would finally marry him, not only because her mother forced her, but because it was "easier" for her for many things : he is chinese, so, no problems to communicate, no need to go to another country, no need to think she could abandon her parents... all benefit for her.
I don't know what should hurt me the most : knowing that she told me she loved me and that she's married, or that I have to give it an end...
My heart is a bit like some applepie for kids.. there are only any crumbs on the floor.. Nothing else, the big part is gone.
I already know she just got the flowers I had ordered for her, the status was "delivered", today... so, maybe tomorrow of after tomorrow, she would write "thanks"..
but that won't change many things...
Somewhere, I should be angry for many things, but no...
I was there and I did many faults, I didn't really know how to speak good chinese and many other things..
Well...
there's no one to blame I would think.
Ting already "learned" me that in love, nothing is won when we have to face "traditional parents" and that, even if we can have some strong feelings together, there are always some walls to break... It can take time, it can motivate us... or many other things.
I did all I could, I think I already left some parts of my heart over there.. but what can I do ? Nothin' more...
My last shot seemed to "touch" her parents, Ting told me that they liked me and my pictures, and the letter too.
That is what I was looking for. Big up to The One who helped me once again for that
Right now, I am writting Ting a letter.
Just tryin' to put some "good" sentences inside, with no regrets.
A page is turned, a new chapter shall begin.
Many thanks again to all of you who helped me through my first story, my first trip in China.
I will be honored to share with you my next adventures in Shangaï
N.B : THIS IS NOT A REASON TO SPAM ALL MY THREADS
(or yes, it should?
, ok go !)