Some reflections after my trip.
Its two days now since I got back and finally have caught up on sleep and can start to think coherently. Coming back to night shifts when I was already suffering a 7 hour time gap was a big mistake. It was nice to have the extra time but really i was a total zombie and it really was too much to cope with.
Today I'm thinking about my trip and what it means for my life in future.
I am committed now to going to live in China, last couple of sleep deprived days in work have really put in focus on what my priorities are.
Lings apartment is big by Chinese standards but sparsely furnished compared to any western one i have been to. Yet strangely everything has its place and function even the paintings on the wall. There's no "junk" that I seem to accumulate year by year (except shoes..she's 20 pairs of them she tells me haha!). As I look around my house all i see are shelves after shelves of stuff i haven't used in years, books i won't ever read again and pile after pile of clothes I haven worn in years nor will ever wear again in all likelihood. Ling would be appalled at such waste.
Yet when I go to live there I must fit all this into one 20kg package?
Right now I'd probably struggle with 2000kg!!
The game has changed, everything I do now must be with the one goal in mind - what's best for me and her. I must clear out the garbage, i must knuckle down and improve my mandarin like never before, I must shift a few pounds so i can look better in the wedding photos (Ling says i don't need to loose weight of course but I am not gonna be the fat laowai over there).
For the longest time its only been about what I want and what I'd like in my life, now its about what's best for me and her. I cannot allow my slovenly ways to get between us , I'm 100% certain that she wouldn't let anything come between me and her either so I must pull up my pants and put my best foot forward and not look back.
I am dying to post some pics but yesterday i brought my laptop into work and left it there, today I'll remember to bring a power cable and usb stick so i can transfer the photos to the work pc to upload to the internet.
A year ago I'd have thought anyone crazy if they had forecast I'd be planning on moving to China to start a new life with a woman there. But there you are, life is full of twists and turns. I once read somewhere "become the change you want today or all your tomorrows will be like yesterday", i guess I'm going to have to live that completely if I can make this dream come true.
