An Irishmans adventures in China

[Vince G]

:s:huh::icon_arrowd::icon_arrowu::dodgy::icon_eek::icon_mad::icon_neutral::icon_rolleyes::icon_surprised:

I don't know what to think about this? It's an opera...

[Brian Mc]

Greetings Brothers,

Well Irish you sure seem to be having troubles with the Lings.  I totally understand about the smoking thing, it would certainly drive me nuts.  As for Ling 1 well therre again unless you get closer or patch it up she will always be in your head and influencing every thought about other women you may meet there.  So for me it makes sense to go and see what you two really have or dont have.

I think you are making a good call.  Go see Ling 1 find out if its just you or not.  If you can get back together great, if not then you will know for sure and have no lingering doubts.  Then at least you can move on clean.

I hope it works out with Ling 1.

Good luck and as always keep us posted.

Regards,

Zhen and Brian

[Vince G]

I'm not going to go searching for the answer but wasn't this the Ling (1) that lost interest in keeping in contact and seemed bored to write more then one word at a time? in IM.

[Irishman]

You are right Vince, but Brian hits the nail on the head when he says - unless you get closer or patch it up she will always be in your head and influencing every thought about other women you may meet there.

I have to do this or she WILL always be at the back of my mind.
 I'm not completely crazy though!,  there is another nice girl her friend has introduced me to in the same city which I'm going to see. I reckon I'll probably know within one or two days if there is any chemistry left with me and Ling 1, if not then I'll just meet up with the other lady. I haven't told either one about the other.

The mutual friend knows and thinks the new girl is a better match but she says she knows i need closure with Ling 1, she thought I was done with Ling 1 before she introduced me to the other friend.

She has agreed to say nothing to either about the other, the two girls i am seeing don't know eachother.
Its all very complicated, I'm gonna enjoy the food there regardless

[shaun]

Ronan,

You know, I really don't see it.  I wasn't on the site when this happened but read a lot of what was going on.

Closure?

I can understand getting closure with someone you've been married to for several years and they leave you.  I just don't see it.  Maybe it is just me.  It seems to me to be a waste of money investing into a relationship like this but, then again I sometimes wonder what I am doing thinking of women in China.  I guess from time to time we all ask ourselves this question. One look at the pictures and all the questions fade away.  Maybe I just answered my own question.

I needed closure after my 27 year marriage went south.  But I just don't see why you need closure for this.  I would simply look for anther women and not worry about it.

I hope you are not offended by my questions about the closure issue.  I am really trying to understand rather than state an opinion.  So please explain, I know you don't have to.

Shaun

[Irishman]

Shaun, i guess because she's the most beautiful and exotic girl I ever dated, my moonshot if you like (have a look at P688056 and see what I mean, she's just as stunning in real life). When I was with her I couldn't believe my luck. I have to know I gave it my best and if it still doesn't work out then no regrets.

I'll know within 24-48 hours of arriving if we have a chance, Vince's comments above do ring true...
I am chatting to another lady in Guangzhou who is smart and beautiful too and will meet her if things don't work out with Ling 1 and me.

[stuart barlow]

i cant understand this word closure,it must be a western thing,as far as i can tell it doesn't seem to be
in the chinese language.if a lady in china says no,then thats it,your history,no second chances,finished.
could be a good thing to learn,might save a lot of heartache.

[Irishman]

She didn't say no Stuart, I did ....and its being driving me crazy rethinking that ever since. I need to say no when I'm standing there beside her, and can see and feel for real its never ever going to work out.
I drove Maxx, Martin, Arnold, Vince and Chonger nuts with my indecision about all this back then, am sorry fella's, it will be quicker and less drawn out this time, I promise!!

Having the brotherhood here these days is such a confidence booster and sanity check for any dumb stuff I do, I know whatever happens, no matter how dumb on my behalf, the bros will back me up and pull me out of the gutter again!  (though I hope you all don't have too this time).

[shaun]

Shaun, i guess because she's the most beautiful and exotic girl I ever dated, my moonshot if you like (have a look at P688056 and see what I mean, she's just as stunning in real life). When I was with her I couldn't believe my luck. I have to know I gave it my best and if it still doesn't work out then no regrets.

I'll know within 24-48 hours of arriving if we have a chance, Vince's comments above do ring true...
I am chatting to another lady in Guangzhou who is smart and beautiful too and will meet her if things don't work out with Ling 1 and me.

Ronan,

Your right in that she is stunningly beautiful.  How could anyone say no to picture #4.

I would like to pass a couple of things my father taught me.  He was quite a lady's man.  He died at the age of 80 and chased women to the very end.  I remember him lying in the hospital bed, dying and still made passes at the nurses.  I sometimes think I could write a book on his relationships.  The title would be, and he would be proud of it, "It may take a pump, but I can still get it up." He passed July 17th, 2008.

Here they are;

1. The more beautiful - the higher maintenance; the less beautiful - the the less maintenance.  It is so true and you need to be willing to keep the maintenance up.

2. 2nd time around is never better than the 1st time and usually ends worse than the 1st breakup.  This has been 100% true for me.

I hope it all works out to your satisfaction and having a backup plan is smart.

Shaun

[davidaquincy]

Irishman,

I have followed your story since the beginning. I have admired your heart of not giving up even in adversity.

More power to you!! Go for it buddy. I wish you the best of luck.

You have to follow your heart. I feel it is the best. Just make sure you have stepped back and look at every situation. Take some time to yourself and think of everything you have done and gone through.

I wish you the best of luck and looking forward to the many more of your posts.

[Irishman]

I hear ya Shaun, I agree with everything you are saying.
Unless I'm sure i made a mistake with her first time then I will move on, it feels wrong not to try , I'm stubborn that way

Irishman,

I have followed your story since the beginning. I have admired your heart of not giving up even in adversity.

More power to you!! Go for it buddy. I wish you the best of luck.

You have to follow your heart. I feel it is the best. Just make sure you have stepped back and look at every situation. Take some time to yourself and think of everything you have done and gone through.

I wish you the best of luck and looking forward to the many more of your posts.

Wow! , David, nice to see you, thanks for the words of encouragement.
And yes , I will definitely try to take a step back and try and figure out the situation for what it is.

[Arnold]

Irish , can't you go now ...do we have to wait till next Month ? :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

[Arnold]

Hahaha ... do I have to wait for everything

[JimB]

You have to do what your heart tells you man.  I am reminded of the poem by Whittier, "For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'It might have been ..., so go for it .

[shaun]

You have to do what your heart tells you man.  I am reminded of the poem by Whittier, "For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'It might have been ..., so go for it .

I've also heard that the graveyard is the riches place in the world.  It is full of unfulfilled ideas and dreams.