Touchy subject: Blacks and other races and Chinese wives

[Sylvain D]

Maybe did it change since the time you were there.
I can remember one trip in Greece, all was grey colored, military men were at the airport, guns pointed in our direction (we only were young students)...
Since that moment, I've never returned there, but I would hope it has changed

[yoshiii]

But look, we have Obama. That is a statement in its self about how America is moving forward more than the rest of the world.

Can we keep the political comments off this site?  I know you are trying to make a point, but personally, i take offence to the comment how America is moving forward more than the rest of the world.  Says who?

Sorry about that, I was making a point that things are changing for the better and remember America is under the micro scope more because of our much advertised slavery past( not counting Africa).  I know that Canada is a separate country but I kind of think of North America as one in a since, since things are so closely similar and I haven't heard of problems much about race from Canada. I mean remember thats were people fled to escape much of that from 160 years ago.  But if you want to talk about this please pm me, I don't want to get into any trouble of breaking forum rules.

[brett]

Black men were extremely rare when I was in Japan last year, and what men I saw seemed to take jobs where their size relative to the locals is appreciated (e.g. hostess bar bouncer). I'm assuming these guys were former US Marines who had married local girls and stayed in the country. It was really strange to hear a black man speaking fluent Japanese!

I've not been to China, but I'd guess a black man would be a real novelty over there. There are however many 1000's of Indians in Hong Kong, and they tend to have very dark skin so the locals there would be used to people of different races.

I'd guess if you lived somewhere really multicultural like London then a black/asian couple wouldn't be unusual at all.

[Martin]

Sorry Yoshii...wasn't trying to come off as too hard.  Canada had slavery once upon a time too.  We have some racism here...but Canada is a pretty accepting country.

[yoshiii]

Black men were extremely rare when I was in Japan last year, and what men I saw seemed to take jobs where their size relative to the locals is appreciated (e.g. hostess bar bouncer). I'm assuming these guys were former US Marines who had married local girls and stayed in the country. It was really strange to hear a black man speaking fluent Japanese!

I've not been to China, but I'd guess a black man would be a real novelty over there. There are however many 1000's of Indians in Hong Kong, and they tend to have very dark skin so the locals there would be used to people of different races.

I'd guess if you lived somewhere really multicultural like London then a black/asian couple wouldn't be unusual at all.

I live in Japan, there are lots of Africans here. Lots.  They own many shops here, not just bars but places like clothing stores and all. One part of Japan even had a African assistant Mayor before recently.

As far as Americans, there are many black business men here. Plus there are the military personnel that are here.   Plus there are many that are here who married a Japanese lady and stayed.

Japan has many different races who have immigrated  here. Don't let anyone fool you.
Lots of Africans, South Americans, Indians, and so on.

Japan is a bit different because it is still sort of xenophobic even though there are large amounts of foreigners living here. There is racism here but it is usually towards foreigners period more than it is about race. But the race factor does come into play sometimes.

Believe me this place is much more inter-grated with black fashion, culture and music than most people  outside of Japan  know about.

Sorry Yoshii...wasn't trying to come off as too hard.  Canada had slavery once upon a time too.  We have some racism here...but Canada is a pretty accepting country.

No problem.  I did not know that there was slavery in Canada before.

Hopefully the men of all races who are trying to meet a nice Chinese lady will find someone good.

[metooap]

Guys, I smile at you all. I really laugh at feisnik because your color is showing just a little.

I am an American of African descent - and very proud of it.

I have been to China three times, I am engaged. I met my fiancées parents, and just like any other parents after the dad received a bottle of Jack Daniels and the mother some beautiful flowers, and I ate so much sea food I wanted to heave, I was welcomed into their family with open arms. By the way, I did not decide on the first woman from China but the second one, out of a list of eight, although all were absolutely beautiful.

I had absolutely no problem with the women and or the cultural. I have traveled all over China living - from the posh 5 star hotels to the scruffy places outback on horseback, where clean towels were no where to be found - and I have had absolutely no problem. Other than an issue anyone else would have regardless of the place or culture when they are accompanied by a beautiful woman on their arm. On the other hand, in fact, most places I go, my fiancée has to tell the young ladies that walk up and volunteer to translate, that we do not need a translator, and that I am already married.

Of course I might have a little different view on life.

I am an old Air Force guy. I have I traveled all over the world and early on understood that skin color does not define me – my behavior, attitudes, dreams and goals defines me and where I am going in life.

Today, I have opened up an office in China – because I believe it is a very wise business move. In fact, I just came back from China the 28 of July and I am headed back the end of September.

My new in-laws are absolutely fantastic.

My father in-law a retired engineer and mother-in-law a real estate owner live near the ocean and seem to live a very good life. When I asked, my father in law about marrying his daughter and taking her to America, his response basically floored me. His response was, she has a right to choose who she wants to love, and to live where she wants to. I welcome you to my family. As long as you take care of her, then you will always be my son.

In addition, to this, I am the proud father of a 25 year old daughter that basically adopted me (she use to be a translator) now she calls me father, and I have a former Chinese army officer that proudly calls me his big brother. He laughs at me using chops sticks, and I laugh at him trying to speak some choice English words.

With this sort of welcome, it is kind of hard to focus on race, and color. So from my perspective, and I can only speak from my perspective, and not for a whole race of people, China is a beautiful place, and its people are absolutely beautiful and gracious too.

My most heated conversation has been watching the TV in China and how most people respond in a most positive way to Obama. In fact, one taxi driver jokingly said that he not me - looked like Obama, and Bush was his brother. He wanted to talk about Obama and Bush, I wanted to focus on my fiancée. Obviously wherever, I go, I have fun. I see the world for what it is, people with different views and perspectives none are any better than the other.

Now, let us get back to talking about why we are all here. To learn more about our beautiful wives and ladies from China!

[Oiler1]

Black men were extremely rare when I was in Japan last year, and what men I saw seemed to take jobs where their size relative to the locals is appreciated (e.g. hostess bar bouncer). I'm assuming these guys were former US Marines who had married local girls and stayed in the country. It was really strange to hear a black man speaking fluent Japanese!

I've not been to China, but I'd guess a black man would be a real novelty over there. There are however many 1000's of Indians in Hong Kong, and they tend to have very dark skin so the locals there would be used to people of different races.

I'd guess if you lived somewhere really multicultural like London then a black/asian couple wouldn't be unusual at all.

I live in Japan, there are lots of Africans here. Lots.  They own many shops here, not just bars but places like clothing stores and all. One part of Japan even had a African assistant Mayor before recently.

As far as Americans, there are many black business men here. Plus there are the military personnel that are here.   Plus there are many that are here who married a Japanese lady and stayed.

Japan has many different races who have immigrated  here. Don't let anyone fool you.
Lots of Africans, South Americans, Indians, and so on.

Japan is a bit different because it is still sort of xenophobic even though there are large amounts of foreigners living here. There is racism here but it is usually towards foreigners period more than it is about race. But the race factor does come into play sometimes.

Believe me this place is much more inter-grated with black fashion, culture and music than most people  outside of Japan  know about.

Sorry Yoshii...wasn't trying to come off as too hard.  Canada had slavery once upon a time too.  We have some racism here...but Canada is a pretty accepting country.

No problem.  I did not know that there was slavery in Canada before.

Hopefully the men of all races who are trying to meet a nice Chinese lady will find someone good.

Japan discourages immigration from countries that are 3rd world. They are having a problem supporting an aging population because of this policy.

[David5o]

metooap,


You sound like an extremely well balacned guy, a straight up and down guy, ...the kind i get on with best.

Your right, no-need to dwell on this issue any longer...

Glad to know your around metooap!!

David.....

[metooap]

David

Hi!

Thanks for the kind words.

I am glad to be around.

There is so much to learn. I use this forum as a way to learn some good stuff about how to relate to some fantistic people! So it is all my pleasure!

Thanks again...

[rockycoon]

And the world gets smaller....:fi_lone_ranger:

[David E]

Metooap

Bloody well said......what a ripper post ...what a breath of fresh air

Somewhere in your genes, you must be an Aussie !!!
David E

[metooap]

David,

I smile because; I have read some of your posts - especially the one where you did not know whether you would make it because of your heart. From that event you gained a perspective on life that to me is fantastic.  Whether you were talking about someone being overly concerned about age or just telling a fellow brother here to basically chill out because things will work out in the end, your comments have always been thought provoking and to me right on target.

So I would not mind having some of those Aussie genes in me - because based on your comments they are certainly pact full of practical wisdom that I can use right now!

[feisnik]

Guys, I smile at you all. I really laugh at feisnik because your color is showing just a little.

I have no idea what you mean by that, I am just reporting facts based on experience of myself and of  black men I know who have gone to China. There are some good documentaries n this. I am glad you have found and exceptional family to marry in to. Many would not be so accepting.

[Gautam]

I am late in this dsicussions but I have potsed many times on this subject and I find it facinating. I am from India and a darker shade of purple and I have Indian friends with blue eyes studying in China.
I can say without hesitation that I have been treated with respect and kindness in all parts of China, Taiwan, HK and Mongolia.
I do not appear to have problems meeting or dating ladies - well no more than anyone else; and i have visited many peoples homes for meals.
When I am with lady friends they have no hesitation to hold my hand or hold me in public. Teachers at University seek my company and they have become close friends - one even introduced me to his sister as a marriage prospect.
As a banker I find I can deal professionally very well and I have been invited as guest speaker and guest more times that my equaly qualified colleagues (white)
So is there no racism? ofcourse there is like there is everywhere but I have enocountered it more in London, New York, Paris Tokyo and I have in China

[metooap]

feisnik,

I am deeply offended and even hurt that you did not include me in your fact finding! After all, how could you leave out your brother? I am your brother, right? Perhaps not biologically, but certainly based upon our participation in this forum. So how could you possibly exclude my experience?:icon_biggrin:

Maybe the experience would let you know that there just may be another point of view, and other experiences different from those held by the men you have talked with to generate your facts.

It looks like Gautam may hold similar expereinces as me in terms of not having major challenges in China.

I do understand your point – that the folks you have talked to have had challenges. Perhaps those challenges were brought about not because of the persons’ color – but because of a number of other factors. After all, in my opinion it takes a different breed of person to be here on this site, and to travel in excess of 6,000 or so miles sometimes with very little to back up their feelings – in search of their love and partner for life.

So without being an ass – and please do not take it this way, let me tell you what I mean.

First you mentioned:

   “I am reporting facts based on experience of myself and black men I know who have gone to China.”

   My questions would be - are these indeed facts are your opinion based upon your experience and your view? I would imagine there are an awful lot of people of color who have gone to China and are in China as we speak. So just how many people and in particular black men are include in your fact finding - two, three, five, one thousand, five thousand that would enable you to say that a particular man would have any more of a challenge than any other man in China.

Second, your comment about “many would not be so accepting,” again what is this authoritative statement based upon? As you know there are over a billion people of Chinese origin in this world. Unless the many - you refer to are some significant amount – and I mean in the thousands -that you have come in contact with, the statement that you make pants a broad brush for a whole group of people.

From my vantage point it does not matter where you go, it could be to China or to the grocery store around the corner, sometimes you will run across people that is not “accepting” just because for all kinds of reasons. I would guess that some of these reasons (or isms; racisms, sexism, too tallism, too shortism, too oldism on and on) for the lack of acceptance are shallow, but to me that acceptance - good or bad - cannot be conveyed to an entire group of people one way or the other.

My point: people are people, individuals with different opinions and views about things. You hold a view and so do millions and millions of other people. Now I do not know what views maybe held by all people of Chinese origin. But I do know this - I am not qualified to say “many will not be so accepting” just because one person is of color and the other Chinese.

I cannot speak for all people. All I can do is recount my experiences. I have not had an issue with acceptance at any level. From a person I pass on the street, to the person cleaning my room, or sitting across the table negotiating a deal, to the mom and pop talking to me about why the hell I have come all the way to China, to marry their daughter. I have had no negative issue because of color.

Now maybe I am different, maybe I see things in a different light.

From my vantage point I am on the clock. The clock is ticking. I am on a one way ride. I may be gone from this earth tomorrow – who knows. I chose not to focus on color – I focus on what I bring to the table.

Finally, I say color does not define me no more than it does you or the next person– my behavior, attitudes, dreams and goals defines me and where I am and where I am going in life.

Speaking of going, I will let others sort out shallow stuff. Right now I am going back to China to marry my beautiful wife.

And I am going to continue to read this forum to gather different views and experiences so I can learn a thing or two from this process called life before the clock tolls – and I hear the umpire say – you are out of here.

When the ultimate ump makes that "acceptance" call, what will color matter anyway?