Trouble in Paradise

[brett]

Money is still an issue for me as well. I thought my lady was better off than I thought (she has a decent PC and they have a big widescreen TV and blinged up apartment) but I didn't find out her salary until I got home. The green tea and books they bought me must have cost a lot to them. On the other hand I bought my girl a coat that would have cost her 3 weeks salary. I can only imagine the money hassles we will have if it gets to the marriage stage.

[maxx]

Irish I did ask my wife what she thought.About all of this.She said almost the same thing David50 said.She said Phillip went to China was going to buy the computer.So his lady started seeing dollar signs.

Phillip just needs to talk to his lady.And get all of her expectations worked out.Tell her where he really stands as far as money and love.What he is willing to do.And what he can afford to do.

As far as using her brother to help.Yes good job Phillip.I've had to use my mother inlaw a couple of times.To get my wife to settle down and start thinking.About the other side of this.I thought one time my mother in law was going to jump threw the computer.And beat the hell out of my wife.My wife had made her mother so mad with unreasonable demands.My mother in law finally told my wife..Just to settle down and see it from both sides.

So yes use every rescource you have on hand.Preconceived notions can and will wreck these kind of relationships.If it is not stopped before it can get started..

[Philip]

Thanks Willy, David and Maxx.

I have just got off the line to my lady.
I have told her we will have a serious and frank discussion about money and our financial future when I get to China. She was happy with this. I told her I wanted to discuss it face to face, not over the internet. She agreed.

I get the impression from her present attitude that her brother must have given her a right telling off. Nothing she has said, but just from a certain contriteness in her attitude over the past few days.

I know I am marrying her, not her brother, but I will not be mislaying his phone number when we are living in England.

[Peter]

Happy it seems to work out for you Philip

Peter

[RegnisTheGreat]

Congrats! I hope it works out!

[Arnold]

Great Phillip , a new starting point for the both of you . Here you have the chance to show her in black and white the figures/number's to keep both of you happy and above water financially . Don't want the Boat to take on water before it leaves the Dock .
 
Ahhh ... to have a Brother , even if it's somebody else's .

[ttwjr32]

good to see things are working out for you two
  keep it up and congrats

[jeffm]

I'm new to this discussion, but my mind must just see things differently.  Phillip you did the right thing starting this thread as love can blind you.  Having others see your situation from the outside with clear vision is most valuable.    

If  my lady told me that she was walking if I didn't come up the the money she wanted for the wedding I would pull back big time.  You talk highly of the her brother bailing you two out of this situation, but will he always have to do this?  My feeling, and I'm going to tell you straight the way I see it is that this is what you might be getting all the time.  Do you want to live like that? Correct me if I'm wrong but when she is living with you your marriage is under the jurisdiction of the British goverment province/state/ burrough.  God forbid if she divorces you in your country can she rake you over the coals for your assets?  Something to think about.  

I did buy a company laptop for my ex as she was working for my company after we got together.  Long story short I had to bug the h*** out of her for that laptop back.  She got many nice things from me that collectively cost a lot of money by American standards.  I took care of her, but I was going to fight for that d*** laptop.  It was company property and I fought like a Chinese person would fight for a lower price.  I eventually out willed her, and she relented and sent it back.  She wanted to keep that thing, and thought if she kept making excuses I would just give up, but that was my way of saving my own face lol.

[Willy The Londoner]

I think 2010 is going to be a very special year for the Brothers on this Forum.

Danny, Shaun, Neil, Rob, Phillip, Mike, David E and any other I have missed - maybe me as well.

Willy

[ttwjr32]

Willy   maybe you?  you getting cold feet??

[shaun]

Willy, thanks for the positive affirmation.  --Shaun

[Willy The Londoner]

Willy   maybe you?  you getting cold feet??

No cold feet here Ted - that maybe is highly possible - just didn't want to put myself to the top of the list. :icon_cool:

Willy

[ttwjr32]

good to hear willy you two make a great couple