Daily life of a married man

[maxx]

Thanks guys for your support.Just a short update ShaoJen is the Chinese ladies name.The food and the money has ben delivered.My older brother and Shaojen's neighbor took her to the store.And payed for the stuff that Shaojen needed.Shaojen's husband has to go to court on July 21st. For the charges that have ben filed against him.

In the court room Shaojen will have a translator so she can understand what is being said.And the lady at victims assistance office.Will give Shaojen a ride to the court house.And a ride home after court.And they found a baby sitter who can watch the baby on the 21st.So that is coming along nicely.

The husband has made contact with Shaojen.And tried to get her to sign a paper.That said when she gave her statement to the police.That she lied to the police.That there was no gun involved and he did not beat her.I called victims assistance today.And the lady drove over to Shaojens house and picked up the paper.So it will now be used in court as evidence.This guy keeps digging a deeper hole.

I think I have got my brother talked into talking to one of his lawyer friends.And hopefully the lawyer will help file for Shaojen's adjustment of status.If the lawyer does it for her.(It is real easy to do in the United States.If I can do it by myself.Anybody should be able to do it.)All Shaojen will need to do is come up with the 1,000 dollars.That is the government fee to file the papers.And a ride to Colorado Springs.To complete the biometrics exam.Which is another 70 dollars.I would ask my brother to help.But I think he has already helped enough.And I would feel real bad.When Shaojen or myself could not pay the money back to my brother.

So I guess we will have to Waite and see if the lawyer can help.I think I remember reading on the U.S immigration web site.That if something like this happens.That they may wave the fee.And go after the visa sponsor.I'm not sure.I will look into it some more.I'm trying to coordinate all this with allot of help from my family.And the lady at victims assistance.The lady at victims assistance has gone way above and beyond the call of duty.This would all of ben extremely difficult.Without this ladies help.

[ttwjr32]

sounds like things are going well for her. i just hope she has enough sense to stay away from him
and not go back after all is said and done. it might be tough for a while but that would really be the best for
her.

im sure she appreciates all you have done for her Maxx

[Rhonald]

Kudos Maxx....

[Arnold]

Double Kudos .. Maxx !! Someone that helps somebody the way you do and go way out of there way to do so , when really don't have to .. is a blessing not only for the Person on the receiving end .. but it will also come back to you some day and reward you .

[ttwjr32]

as they say Arnold what goes around comes around whether its good or bad that you do but
when you do good things you usually seem to have good things in return happen

[ttwjr32]

Maxx,

please give us an update after they go to court. hope it all works out for the lady.

[maxx]

Ted I will.Me and my wife are supposed to do a conference call tommar ow.After I get off work.With Shaojen.And the Distric attorney.And the lady from victim assistance.The court date is Wednesday.So the lady from victims assistance is going to call me after court to tell me whats going on.

[ttwjr32]

well i hope thursday morning brings good fortune to her and she starts a new life away from that
raving idiot.

not being a violent person but i still would like to be in a room alone with him. i would even wear my
best flowered shirt.

[maxx]

Not sure where to start here.I'm really disappointed with the American legal system right now.In court Wednesday mourning the translator was there.The victims assistance lady was there and the defendant was there with his lawyer.The Judge told Shogun's husband that he could go back to there home.The judge told him that they were going to keep his gun.And that he mite get it back after he goes to court again in a couple of months.

So Shaojen's husband is happy.And I'm sure by now that her life is a living hell again.He has learned the tricks of the trade.So next time he beats the hell out of her.Or sticks a gun in her face.He won't be dumb enough to call 911 himself.And since they are both Chinese.They think this is a family matter.She will take the beating from now on.From behind closed doors.Just to save the sorry ass guys face.

The good news is victims assistance said she would check in on Shaojen.Every so often.And the guy's lawyer laid down the rules.And told him that this kind of behavior.Is not tolerated in the United States.Victums assistance did talk to the next door neighbors.And told them if they did hear a argument.That they were to call the police.Thees apartments where Shaojen lives are close together.And the walls are paper thin.So you can hear whats going on in your neighbors apartment.

Shaojen has started to teach herself English.She did take my wife's advice.And started watching cartoons with her daughter.That is how my wife learned allot of her English.So that is good.My wife did talk to Shaojen on many occasions..And Shaojen does Know how to call 911 herself.And knows how the system works in her favor.So maybe it will slow the guy down next time.And make him think.Before he tries this crap again.Will Shaojen ever call the police herself? I seriously doubt it.So all we may have done is delayed the inevitable.

Last I heard her immigration status is in limbo.Shaojen's husband told Shaojen.That he did adjust her status.And that he has her green card in a safety deposit box.And will give it to her.When she has a baby boy.This is the same guy who told her that since she didn't have a baby boy.That it was against the law for her to get a green card.Shaojen knows know that immigration will not deport her.Because her husband is a asshole.

We are in a kind of Waite and see mode.We have not heard from Shaojen since Monday.I kind of keep hoping she will call.So that we know she is OK.I'm not to comfortable with the situation right now.I think the guy will beat the hell out of her again.The first time he thinks nobody is watching.And I'm not to confident in the neighbors calling the cops.If they hear  a quarrel going on. Most people just don't want to get involved anymore.

I could call the judge who is handling the case.And tell him it is not a good idea for Shaojen's husband to be in the same apartment with her.Maybe I could explain.How Shaojen's husband has lost his face.And he needs to get it back.Maybe I could explain to the judge.A Chinese women's place in a traditional Chinese marriage.And how the man dominates the relationship.And when things don't go there way.They usually resort to violence.To get there point across.I think the judge has never delt with the Chinese before.And he is probably in the dark about what can and will happen to Shaojen.If somebody doesn't step in and put a stop to this.

I will call victims assistance in the mourning.And make sure somebody does go by the apartment.And make sure Shaojen hasn't already Ben beat up.If anybody has any suggestions.On how to fix this.I'm interested in hearing them.

[ttwjr32]

Maxx,

why doesnt someone hassle victims assistance to get her out of the house to a shelter until they can find her a
place of her own. this is absolutely ludicrous that he was allowed back in. do it once do it again always happens.
whats next they are waiting until she is half dead in the hospital then they would do something???

just dont get it but i think if someone can push this then that will help her. what state does she live in? NEW MEX??
even so the laws should be the same. in Calif they wouldnt let him back in until he completed some kind of counseling
which would give her time to make some changes.

just absolutely un@@@####@@@#### believable. and they wonder we helped what went wrong when its to late

[shaun]

I think the problems here is that the judge does not see any history.  If there had been police reports about a domestic disturbance.   Also if he threatens to beat her up and she tell the police they charge him with terroristic threats.  They really do not do anything about it but it is at least on the record.  Also if he hits her she needs to go to the hospital.  The point her is document document document.  This gives a judge something to work with.

[Vince G]

Yeah what state are they in? In the NE you can not process a firearm if you were not born here. Doesn't matter if you have a green card and lived here all your life.

[ttwjr32]

Shaun,

the judges purpose is to stop it from having a history. maybe its just that they are not born americans that effected his
decision, but i would think the law is the law. stop it before it gets worse or there is a tragedy

[ttwjr32]

maybe Martin should drive down and he and Maxx pay the man a nice visit and
explain to him the consequences if it happens again lol!!!

[maxx]

They live in Colorado.He works for the Feds.As a guard.At a Federal penitentiary.

Vince this is the wild west out here.Everybody owns a gun.Colorado and New Mexico.Have the least gun control laws.In the united States.We Rank right up there with Arizona.as having gun owners.And having multiple firearms.At the same time.At one time the most  I owned  was 6 everything from pistols to sawed off shotguns to semiautomatic shotguns.Firearms are as good as cash here.You can trade up.Trade one of your guns.And a little cash for a bigger better model.Or trade down.Where you get a little less weapon.And some cash. I own 3 right now.a pellet gun,a cheesy dart gun.And a cap and ball belly pistol.That I'm a little afraid of.The hammer doesent hit the cap right.And the barrel is only about 4 inches long.

My brother probably owns.20 to 25 weapons.I think he actually bought maybe three.The rest were traded for work he done for different people.A 22 year old kid that used to work for me.He probably had ten different weapons.At one time.And was always trying to work deals where he could get bigger and better.So it is no big deal to come up with a firearm here.

Shaun you make a good point.They moved to Colorado from New York.So he doesn't have any history.If he did have some history.He wouldn't of Ben able to get a job at a Federal pen.They do a good job with the background checks in Colorado.When you go to work at the Federal level.I was thinking maybe I could enlighten the judge.On how the Chinese mind works.And how much of a beating she is going to take.So her husband can get his face back.

Ted I winded the same thing.And I did mention that to Victums assistance.Victumes  assistance told me they offed her a place to stay.But Shaojen told victims assistance that she didn't want to leave her husband.Because he is the only one she can talk to in a fifty mile radius.And he is the only Chinese person that she really knows.They do have Chinese people living in Colorado Springs.And in Pueblo.But she doesn't know them.So she  thinks she has no other choice.

I thought about talking to my wife.Abought moving Shaojen here.Where there is allot more Chinese.And allot more oppertunities to get out and meet some  other Chinese people.But I can't afford to rent her a place.And pay her bills until she gets on her feet and meets other people and gets a job.So I didn't mention it to my wife