Daily life of a married man

[maxx]

We will blame this on on David50 it was his idea.And I thought it could be interesting.If it works that would be nice.We are going to need some other contributers beside me.So come on David50,Nik Martin,Arnold,JimB, Peter, Hajo,Ed,And any body else I forgot.

I will call this one ambushed at the Chinese restraunt.

08-08-09 I took my wife and son today to Alburqurque.So my wife could go grocery shopping at the Asian market.There is a Chinese restraunt around the corner from the market my wife likes to eat at.So everytime we go to Alb we stop there and eat lunch.

We have ben doing this since my wife came to the states so we are well known in this restraunt.The owner and the waitreses will come over and talk to my wife.While we are eating.

Today one of the wattreses told my wife she has a friend in China.Who got a divorce.And her friend now wants to marry a foriegn man.My wife tells the watresses about a web site that I signed my wifes friend up to.And she met and Married a Man from Houston Texas.

So I give the watress the web site name.And I  tell the waitress  how to do it.My wife tells the waitress that there was a simpler way to do this.

 I seen this man that was  sitting by himself eating.He had ben there a long time.And was takeing his time.Everytime the owner would walk by ore one of the watresses the man was watching them real close.And smiling way to much everytime they said something to him.He was a shy looking guy.(That looked a lot like Martin.I kid you not) I told my wife that the man really liked Chinese women

So my wife tells the waitress What I said about the man that he realy likes Asian's and  that he is to shy to say anything.So the waitress walks over to the mans table.And says in broken English.You like Chinese women.I have friend in China who would like to talk to you.

The mans face turns bright red and his jaw just hits the table.I almost fall out of the booth we are sitting at.I'm laughing so hard.All the man can do is just sit there.With this dumb look on his face.The watress is standing there waiting for a answer.And all I can do is laugh.

I finnaly pull myself together.Walk over to the mans table and tell him that she is not messing with him.That she realy does have a friend in China and she would like to meet a foriegn man.The man still can't get it together so I explain it to him again.And he finnaly gets it. I give him the address to here and tell him how to get here.

When we left the restraunt the man was giving the waitress his information.It looked like it was a start.

Sometimes Chinese women go straight to the point of what they are thinking.There is no pulling punches.They don't mean to be mean to you.They are just stating what they see and how they see it.

This was not the ordinary day.What was ordinary was having the owner at the table and the watresses talking to my wife playing with the boy.The 2 chinese restraunts we go to the Asian market we go to.The owners will always come over and talk.

It used to bother me.Because I thought they were talking about me.After some time My Chinese understanding improved a little bit.I figured out all they were talking about was they were  just exchanging information and Ideas.Just like we do here.

Ok you married guys I want to hear about the times you spend with your wive's

[MLM]

Nice one Maxx and a hard one to follow, oh yeah I'm one of those anybody else you forgot :icon_biggrin:,
Lets see, i'll call this Shopping Day,
My wife and I go to an open market in south Philly for freash meat and veggies among other things, some things like spices, we spent most of our day going from stall to stall buying anything and everything it seemed, this is every weekso some of the shop keepers know me and especially my wife because she will arguee with them about price and usually walk away with a smile on her face and the owners of the stores have had some fun also, so this day we also went to Walmart to buy something, I can't remember what at this point but anyway when we went to pay for it my wife started to arguee about the price with the sales person, while I'm trying to tell her that this is not the way things are done here in major store chains, meanwhile she is starting to get loud so the manager comes over and she is telling him that she should not have to pay this much for this product and he is trying to tell her that this is the pricde and she must pay this price, she finally say to him that this product was made in her home country of China and that she is Chinese and she knows how much it cost in China so it should not be this much, she stated her case so long and so hard that the manager finally said okay, she could pay the amount that they haggeled to, there was this guy that kept saying things through out this haggeling like that one crazy Chinese bit*h and I would say pal you have no idea, you could have knocked him over with a feather when he heard the store manager say okay to a price, me , I was laughing so hard I almost pissed myself, she has been here for over 5 years and still she thinks she can haggel any price, any where, and does.

[Peter]

Before Martin steals the show I have to tell you about when we went to a Spa in Changsha. It was Martin and his wife and me and Tina. All this happened on my first trip in April, before I was married....
As usual, and this is a fact, my wife will let me know what is going on in the last minute. For example she will tell us that we are invited to a dinner and will take a cab in 5 minutes. That leave me 5 minutes to take a shower and get dressed... I am getting used to this now but at the time all this happened I was only confused...
Tina and Martins wife had been talking a lot in Chinese and suddenly told me and Martin that we are going to visit a Spa. We took off in a cab and after a waiting for about 30 minutes on a street we finally went to the Spa.
We where meet by a lot of people and got a magnetic key and was showed the way to go, to the right. The Ladies went to the left. Me and Martin came in to a locker room and stood there waiting like two sheep's.. A man that spoke almost no English came forward and tried to tell us that we should take off all the clothes. After some confusion we took of the clothes and was showed to the next room where there was 2 small pools. We went into one of the pools for a while and was then showed to the next room where there was 3 saunas. One with steam and the other just ordinary saunas. After a while in the Sauna with steam we went over to one without steam. After a couple of minutes Martin had enough and went out and I stayed. After about 15 minutes I also went out. Into the next room where I was told to lay down on some kind of bench. A man came over and with something that reminded of a sandpaper scrubbed all over my body. The next room was filled with small stone pillars where I sat down and washed myself.. After this we went out in the final room and got some kind of shirt and shorts. Dressed up in this we where showed upstairs and to a resting room filled with big chairs. There was also our ladies and me and Martin sat down next to them. We where talking for a while before we fell into sleep.
When we woke up our ladies had gone away. Both Martin and I thought that this was the end so we went down to the looker room and started to get dressed. Suddenly an man came running and tried to explain for us that our Ladies was waiting upstairs for us. We had to get undressed again and into the clothes we got at the Spa again. Up the stairs and into another resting room where our ladies sat. While we was sleeping our Ladies just went to another room without telling us.
After a while we went to another room that had a pool table and  table tennis still wearing the clothes we got in the Spa. Finally, about 7 o'clock we where served a great buffet dinner. About 8 or 9 o'clock we left the Spa again.....
During this time no one have told us what was going to happen, neither Tina or Martin's wife... I guess that if we was told in advance what was going to happen it could have been a great experience and a very nice thing to do but our wifes just took for granted that we knew...
Living with my wife, those 5 weeks I had in China, have been a new experience because at home I like to have some kind of control over what is going to happen. In China thing just happens and I can't do or say anything about this.. It is decided long before I am told... This give my life in China a thrilling touch and it is only to get used to it..

[Ed W]

My wife and I went to the lake park one day and were inquiring about the price of the paddleboats. While she's talking with the attendant this bum comes up to me obviously looking for a handout. I'm just slightly behind my wife and her back is to this bum, totally unaware he's behind her. I'm trying to trying to think of a not so obvious way of getting my wifes attetion since I'm not sure how to deal with this. It's not my country afer all and if I do wrong I can potentially take face from my wife or lose my own so I give my wife a quick poke in the side and motion behind her and as soon as she gets a look at him she instantly she spins around and says a few sharp words to him and grabs my hand and whisks me away. Now, I view the chinese language as a pretty sounding language and hardly know any of it myself (not for long since i'm enrolled in the chinese school near my home, beginning in Sept) but what she said to this guy was anything but pretty.

OK, so that's no so much an everyday thing but thought it was funny none the less. I did however realize something today. My wife will alter her sense of duty. I'm not gonna hijack this thread though. Look for it later.

[Arnold]

Well , here is one incidence that I posted at Jonna's Blog three month's ago . Hence I have enough work writing my own Book , instead having somebody do it for me ... I'm too lazy to write it over , so I just picked it up there and will post it here .

This story brings out the Frugalness of my Wife , not to pay more if it mean's walking back to the Hotel . It also show's my generosity toward a nice Person , that deserve's it .

Shanghai MiFeng said...
Jonna , I like to use this opportunity , to tell you of my one and only Taxi misfortune . In August last year , the day after our Wedding day . It was a Saturday and of course all the light's are on in Shanghai on the Friday and Saturday . So , my wife and I , took my Family and my Mom (from Germany)to the Pearl Tower for the View of the City . After we got down and ready to go home , about 22:00 , I stopped a Taxi for my Mom and my Uncle and Aunt and send them off to their Hotel . So , now my Wife and I , looking to do the same and stop a Taxi to take us back to Puxi from Pudong . But you think , one of them stopped ? They just kept driving right by you empty and the green light on . What is this we thought ? When , one of those Van's ( none Taxi's ) stopped and told my Wife , that will be 100 yuan . My wife told him go to you know where , your crazy . She is right , we never pay'd more then 23 yuan for the same Trip back to our Hotel . As it turns out it was going to be almost Midnight by now , and I saw a Taxi on the other side of the Road and waved him over and my God , he turned around and stopped . Took us to the Hotel Downtown Holiday Inn and he only ask for 23 yuan as usual , but it being so late and he was nice enough to take us to the Hotel , I gave him the 100 yuan , that those other Jerk's wanted . You should have seen his face and how surprised he was , as I handed him that Bill ? Heck , I still feel so good about having done that . Special People , need to be treated as such . As for my Wife , what are you doing She know's now and agree's , that I have done the right thing . Hahaha

May 19, 2009 12:49 PM

[JimB]

Firstly, Michael I crack up every time i read or tell that story about Wal-mart, and I tell it a lot. And Ed, I have heard that voice, it is not one that  I want used on me.  Angel used it on a driver that tried to change a deal once we made it.  I have never seen a man bow and scrape and retreat as that man did.  I couldnt help but chuckle, but I got a look from her that said she meant business.  The smile quickly faded.
Tipping for me has always been a standard thing.  I automatically give 20%, but I have learned not to do that.  Before we were engaged all I got was a look, after it was a different story. From then on it was NO, you do not tip.  Everything is in cost. You cannot waste that money!
I am sure now that we will be living together, I will have more stories.  But, i thank Maxx, Arnold, Dinger, Michael, Ed , Peter and the rest for letting me get a heads up.  Knowing what to expect helps to keep an even keel.
The first time I got a heads up was on kissing.  i thank Irish for giving me a heads up on that.  It would have totally thrown me if he had not told us about it.  Now we use a combination of Chinese, western with a Southern twist.  I like that a lot. hehe

[maxx]

Well it looks like this is going ok.I want to thank the other members for there imput.The more imput we have the better this is going to be.


Food is important.

When I was a kid I grew up poor so we missed a few meals.But food was not one of my main concerns.My job was cutting the firewood to stay warm in the Colorado winters.

When I left home at seventeen food was still not the most important thing on my mind.Other things are more important to me.

With my wife food is really important.If she thinks there is a lack of edible food in the house.It can and will be a bad day until the situation is fixed.don't get me wrong there is so much food around are house that it is falling out of the cabnits.There is still halfe of a pig in the freezer.

But the food must be the kind of food that she can cook into Chinese food.Chicken breast pork ribs.pork meet.Whole chickens,And there must be fresh vegitables along with fresh fruit.So we need to go to the grocery store at least two times a weak and the asian market about once a month.Depending on her mood.(The asian market is a 6 hour drive round trip) and we must stop and eat Chinese food. And we go to a local Chinese restraunt once a weak.And then there is the food packages from my motherinlaw..They arrive about every 2 months.There is fish all kinds frozen freezedried canned smoked.Along with Chinese candies and ussually some clothes for are son.

Now don't get me wrong I like Chinese food the stuff you get in the states.And the real stuff my wife cooks.But I can't eat it all the time.I like steak brawtwerst mexican food Italion food.My wife doesn't so everyday she eats her food and I eat my food.She cooks whats she wants I cook what I want.We hardly ever eat the same thing at the same time.

This is expensive But it is a must for harmoney in are house.I remember the first time I went to China.After about a weak of eating nothing but Chinese food.I thought I was going to starve to death.I needed to eat some steak.Eat French fries drink the right kind of beer.Be in the right kind of atmosphere to enjoy the food.

So I understand where my wife is comming from.And to keep the peace in the house we go grocery shopping alot.And food has become much more important to me.

We were going to visit my older Kids.They live in Arkanssas wich is a 15 hour drive from where we live.I told my wife that she wouldn't be able to eat Chinese food on the trip.Because there just wasn't any Chinese restraunts.So it makes her a little sad.But she still wants to go.

so we are driving on the trip.And there is New Chinese restraunts all the way to Arkansas.so we ate Chinese about every meal comming and going.How times have changed I never remember seeing thoose restraunts before and I have ben up and down that rd a 100 times before,Just on vacations and when i drove a Semi for a living.

So anyway be prepared to accomidate your new wifes food preferance.Learn where the Asian markets are and a good buffet restraunt.

[Arnold]

Maxx , I guess I'm lucky , there is the best chinese Buffet in all of LA area just ten minutes from my House . Yeah , that's one plus point for me . Now I need to find a Asian Market nearby . Chinatown is 70 miles away . I'm like you , I like a good Steak here and there and Potatoe's which Qing think's are Poison for you . Oh my ?

[David5o]

There aren't any Chinese grocery stores in Cyprus, ...None!! ...There is a sort of Indian Asian store, where she buys stuff from. Other than that, she can get different bit's from the major supermarkets here like noodles and different sauces/mixers. Her family send her food parcels , something along the lines of what Maxx wife receives.

Actually, Lucy quite likes Western food, so it's never a problem going to restaurants here. ( there every other shop..... it's a holiday Island after all) She's not too keen on the Chinese restaurants over here, reckons it's all fake Chinese food, hahaha!! But it doesn't stop her going to them, maybe, just to be able to rabbit away in Chinese. Even that's a problem, our local Chinese is staffed by HK Chinese, so language problems again, but they seem to be able to communicate pretty well.

When we do go out, it's normally chicken meat that she'll order, where I'll always be going for that thick juicy steak. Occasionally she'll order a pork chop, Now i don't know what sort of size of pork chops your used to in your country, ...in UK they tend to be tiny to small things similar to what you would get in China. Here they fill your plate, and it's always a pleasure to see the look on Lucy's face when her plate is put in front of her. We have a couple of small dogs, they always benefit when Lucy orders pork chops haha!! Thank god for Doggy bags!! ...haha!!

All our friends know what Lucy likes to eat now, so anyone having a BBQ, knows that she only tends to eat the chicken and veg kebabs, although she has been known to have a chicken leg at times. Our friends like to come to our BBQs, because of all the side dishes and sauces available to them that she makes herself. I've often told her to go into production, but she's not too keen on that idea. ..hahaha!! Another thing I've noticed, if we are still at a friends BBQ towards the end, it's Lucy that's going round collecting up plates, glasses and cups, ....and given the chance, starting on the washing-up too. I try and leave before she can start on the washing-up now day's, or we could be there for another hour haha!!

As for general food around the house, She just goes out and buys it fresh in the village here, a 2 minute walk. We have everything she wants as such available locally. We even have a discount fruit an veg shop now, that's just opened.  As most of you know, the Chinese will pick-up and check every item of fruit and veg before they will buy it, you should see the look on the Cypriot  shopkeepers faces, and the other customers come to that.  haha!!  Lucy just smiles at them and nods her head .....they always seem to smile back!! ...lol!! Does she know how to barter?  ...you bet she does, for anything and everything, ..i tend to walk away and let her get on with it, ...and i'm very used to bartering myself, it's a way of life in the middle east, but Lucy can go to the extremes, and she rarely fails. God bless her big heart, hahaha!!

Oh, one more thing before i close, .... Lucy has picked up Greek here, she's by no means fluent, but she knows enough words and strings of words to be able to make herself understood quite well... Me i know the odd word or two, i rely on the Cyp's knowing English!!  hahaha!!

David....

[MLM]

JimB, no crap, now when we go to the walmart and the manager sees Zhou coming down an isle he will run out of the store, the last time we went there he almost killed himself trying to run away, he ran smack into a support poll, he hit so hard the poll rang.
Where we live, there is a Chinese buffet, its very good, the woman that owns it ha sknown me for the last 8 years, shortly after she arrived here she opened the Buffet, well it turns out that she and her girlfriend in China lost contact after she married and moved here because her GF also married and moved away her friends name was Weng Zhou, yeah you guessed it same person but at the time I didn't know Zhou, I had just gotten back from Zhuhai.
After I met Zhou and we were staying together in Indiana, I found out that she wanted to come be with me in Pa., now I had also found out Zhous maiden name and I started to put together a plan, Hehe, once we were back in Pa. for a few days I asked Zhou if she would like to try a Chinese Buffet that a friend of mine owned and she said she would like that very much, ssoooo, I took her there and when the two girls seen each other My friend ( her name is Angel also JimB ) dropped the pan of fish, Zhou and Angel both let out this ear splitting Squell ( no other word for it ) ran to each other hugged, cryed, and started talking, laudly, in Chinese, I waited for a few minutes for the dust to settle and walked over to them, Angel asked where did I find her friend and why did I go looking for her?, Zhou was just looking at me and she wasn't smiling, just looking with tears in her eyes, then when I told them the story of meeting Zhou and Angel telling me her story I put two and two together, then when Zhou said she wanted to be with me I put this little get together, together without either one of them knowing, they both started chattering in Chinese again and then they both started slapping the dog Sh*t out of me for a few moments and then they were both hugging me and Zhou was kissing my cheek and saying thank you over and over.
That night after we helped close the store ( like I had a choice) we all went to Angels home for tea and a long night of them talking and them whispering to each other and then lookingh at me :huh:, let me tell you, I was afraid, very afraid, I think I will be in so much trouble when it is close to Zhou giving birth, you see Angel has agreed to come and live with us for a few months before and one month after the baby is born, and then there is Mary saying she will be here to help Angel and Zhou with the baby and the house, I don't know if I can survive three Chinese women AND my 12 year old Chinese daughter all at once, I'll let you all know how that works out.
Ronan you better be taking notes, your going to need them from this thread :icon_cheesygrin: newbie
JimB, I already know you are taking notes, you said so.

[maxx]

observations.

We went to the Asian market the other day.Like I said before.And I wanted to comment on this.Because it is a little interesting to me.Besides being able to buy food from all over Asia.You get to see other cross culture couples and I get to watch how they interact with each other and the shoppers around them.

The white guy and the Chinese girl was the only couple to talk to me.He was looking for roasted nuts or something so he asked if I had seen them.His wife said hi and that was it.They had a kid with them that was probably 15 he looked like he was madd at the world and kept giving the white guy a evil look.I never did see them talking.

The couple that interested me the most was the dark complected  Phillipino women and the older white guy.The reason they interested me the most was she was probably 25 at the most.And he had to be in his sixties.They had 2 kids with them.A little girl that was probably 3 years old with dark curly hair.And real light complected.And a baby boy probably 3 months old.Also light complected.

So I wonderd about them.Is that her husband?Or her husbands father?.If that is her husband one part says what are you thinking the other part says go man go.That old and still making babies you have to admire that.You also wonder how he was able to obtain a visa for her.Since in the U.S. they really watch for that kind of thing..I heard that man talking to the little girl.But I didn't hear him talking to the women.So i'm thinking that he was taking his sons wife out to buy the food.

Other observations in China.I have spent a lot of time in the south of China in Guangdong province.You see plenty of other foriegn men eather doing buissnes with a company or seeing a women.As we walk past each other or if we see each other in a restraunt we will nod to each other or wave to each other as we pass.Sometimes we will even stop and talk a little bit exchange information.So no big deal.

Where it gets a little weird is in centrel China along the Yangse river.We hang out in a town Called JiuJiang.My wifes family is there.I have ben in China enough times that I'm allowed to wonder around on my own unsupervised for hours on end.So I will walk along the river or go to the stores to have a look.Nobody ever bothers me because They don't speak very much English that far inland.And my Chinese is real bad.

Last time we were there I was out by myself walking around.I had stopped at the noodle shop around the corner from my inlaws house.I was playing around with my sisterinlaws friend.Just teasing her in English.To see if I could get her to smile.

While I was standing there a foreigner walked by.He didn't say a word make any kind of gesture.I know he seen me.Because he looked right at me.I know he wasn't paying attention to the women he was with because she was talking to the translater.He was just looking around.

All the time I have spent in JiuJiang I have never seen a foriegn person.This city is of the beaten track you have to be going there to get there.So I think the man is just totaly out of his element and thinking to himself what the hell am I doing here.

The translater had to point me out to the man.And the man just gave me a vague wave and off he went  down the road.The lady and the translater.Are just left standing there beside me.While the man keeps walking.The lady and the translater both had this strange look on there face.

That has to be one of the strangest encounters I have had with a foriegn man in China.In Gz when I was there for the interview.We had tables pushed together for all the Americans.We spent all morning talking to each other.At the post office in Gz.One American walked across the room to talk to me I was leaning against the back side of a piller.I'm sure I wasn't easy to see.

[Ed W]

i had to laugh so hard since Martin's wife finally let him go to the bakery by himself, Maxx can walk along the river by himself, but my wife wont let me go outside and smoke alone. There's got to be something to this....Do we really appear to need sitters? LMAO

[maxx]

Ed its a chinese thing my motherinlaw watches me like I'm 3 years old.Maybe it is because I mess with the neigbors all the time.

No Seriosly I think it is they just want us to be safe.

[Arnold]

Thanks for this Thread ... Maxx.

Thought this would be perfect to post here . Hence I'm writing my Book myself now , I told Qing about this and received a letter today answering that one . They are alway's worried about you , day and night it seems . If that is not TOTAL love , I don't know what is ?


Nong hao,Lao Gong. Thanks for your letter.I am really touched by you that you start to write our book by yourself.You know i don't want to see you overwork for it as after a long time work you need to have good rest and take care of yourself.I know we could share our happiness with others,but it is not important the book for sale.The most important thing is the Shanghai Flower and Bee want to be together and share the happiness of the wonderful life as long as possible.So we will continue to write our LOVE story together with our life ***I LOVE YOU AND FOREVER***  It just make me feel you are so lovely,my little Xian Sheng(in my eyes that you are). Every member of our family all Love you so much and want to see you again in SH.
                           ***YOUR NICE LAO PO***

Just want to be :heart: there :heart:

[maxx]

Interracial marriage.


I thought I would cover this today.I know a few of you here are thinking about this.What will people say? How will theese people treat my wife or girlfriend? Am I going to have to beat up halfe the people I know?

As most of you know Me and my wife and son live in New Mexico U.S.A.( You have to put U.S.A. after it because alot of people back east think we belong to Mexico That is a whole different story).

In New Mexico interracial coupels are no big deal.You see them all over the place.Whites married to Asian Nativa Americans,African Americans,Latinos,Indians.Hell we even let the British come here and marry are women.And the other races do marry out of there own race.I know a guy that is from American samoa.He is married to a Navajo Women.They have 3 kids together.So as far as this goes it is ok in New Mexico.

There has ben only a couple of times that I have ran across this problem in the states.I used to run a conscesion stand at concerts and Mixed fighting events.One night a kid about 19 seen my wife working at the conscesion stand.And told his buddy.Hey look they have a gook working there.When I stood up the kid and his friend ran off.The second time was a waiter at a Chinese restraunt.He told my wife that I brought her to America to sell her.The next time we went to that restraunt the waiter had ben fired.I don't know why.I didn't say anything to the owners.

The only ones that seam to have a problem with this is some Chinese people in China.And that is only after I won't buy what they are trying to sell me.Then the name calling startes.My wife has ben called alot of different things.By other Chinese people she just ussualy blows them off.And its over with.The only reason I know about it is because she will tell me latter.Long after the oppertunity to beat the hell out of the offending person is gone.

My Friends family the Neighbors.All like my wife.There has ben only one time where anybody ever said a racial slurr to my wife.My wife has ben from California all the wat to Arkansas and back.There has never ben a problem