Trouble...

[Willy The Londoner]

This is a problem if you go for ladies who have never married before.  Divorced ones are better as this problem should not arise for a second marriage.

Willy

[rcsingle1]

I agree with some of the other guys here. Perhaps you should be looking for someone else.
I told my girl out front that I'm not a rich guy, or poor, just middle class, and that I work for a living, and that I expect that she find a job when she gets here (after she learns English), and she's looking forward to that.
I even offered to help her with the translation fees, and she said for me to not worry about the fees. Her comment was, that she is willing to spend the money now, for a lifetime of love and happiness.
What a woman!!!
RC

[Ed W]

RC...
  it's better that she considers herself to be JUST joining you in your country and worry about work in a couple years afterward,  Governments dont like the idea of imigrants coming in and taking jobs(from imigration standpoints).

[rockycoon]

How much in USD is 50,000 RMB?  That sounds like a huge amount, Last time I asked these guys I got some outstanding reply's such as the dinner where you have to pay for a dinner for your family and their family, which can be up to 200 people.  As I understood this one guy.  He had a huge wedding dinner in a really fancy hotel, he was looking for around 50 people, when 200 showed up (they invite half of china to these things) and he freaked out, he didn't know if he had enough money for the dinner and his new wife offered to help out. But when the bill came it was around 200 dollars USD and from what he wrote and described, it was one hell of a dinner with all the trimmings.
Now don''t forget a few little details (as described to me)
1. you don't have to, but custom dictates that you give each family member some money and it must be wraped with a red ribbon.
2. If she has a bill, and I'm sure she does at the agency, it's up to you to take care of it.  (good luck on that one)
3. You also pick up the tab  for the chinese wedding...who knows how much that is.
4. Any fees for visa's, or paperwork at the conslute and chinese licence agency...
5. Your hotel and food bills, travel, etc.
6. The interpter fee's, one will always be with you, 24-7 you have to hire one.
7. I'm not sure about the wedding dress, but check if you have to buy it.

I could go on and on, as I recieved a lot of e-mail on this subject, some from Maxx and Vince.  If you really want to get married, think about the cost.  Sometimes its better to have loved and lost.  Ask Maxx and Vince and China Mike (when he comes back) and Willy as they are the pro's from dover on this stuff.

OR

Write her a letter ending all this nonsense and go around the corner to the local pub and get blitzed - you'll save more money that way. Buy a new truck and get a dog. The dog will love you and the truck won't chew your ass when you want to go fishing. :fi_lone_ranger:

[DougK]

There are expenses for when you get married...no one will argue that.

However, often the dowry is now symbolic. Many of the Chinese couples I know did have a dowry, but it was returned to the couple after the wedding.

Also, most of the red bags given by the groom to the family and friends of the bride during the wedding and its related traditions are generally small, just part of the tradition and ritual.

You will receive many red bags from the wedding/reception. Generally this covers the cost, though might be a bit more or less.

So yes, getting married to a Chinese/Asian woman will cost you some money. And if you are bringing her to the US, it will take time, money and energy to get her home. But don't think it will be some ungodly sum that only the rich can afford. You can easily spend as much money marrying an American woman and the associated wedding trappings and honeymoon.

Doug

[Scottish_Rob]

it's funny about the cost of a wedding...I never spent half as much as anything said, on my first...:@ BUT I have decided that if it's going to cost me an arm and a leg, it should be worth it:angel:

[David5o]

If anyone is thinking or being worried about the 70,000 dollars someones mentioned here don't, it's a bloody pipe dream. Only the very,very rich Chinese would be able to cover that sort of bill. Even 10,000 dollars would be a rarity....

Ask the guys here that have got married in China, ask them what they had to pay for there wedding and the banquet, i know it won't be anywhere near some of the figures that I've seen banded about on this and other Forums. If your lady is single, keep the Red Envelope to her parents reasonable, especially if your lady is over 30-35. I'm sure her parents would rather see their daughter happy than to ask for silly money to be given to them. No you don't give Red Envelopes to the whole family, you can give them a small token gift if you like, but there's really is no call for it.

None of us are rich, in the true sense of the word, so don't go throwing money around in China, just to impress the family. .....It might just come back and bite you on the bum. Just remember you will need all the money you can, to get your lady back to your country, and then to start a new life together. That money is far better off in your pocket, for your family needs, than to impress or go overboard on a wedding that is just a one day affair.
Most of you have already done this once when you married the first time, remember how much that all cost??? And all for just one days celebration!! We all do these crazy things once, .....but once is enough for any lifetime, ..Right?? ...hahaha!!

David....

[Vince G]

It all depends how your totaling it all up. when it's said the wedding will cost? I take it as the wedding only. The flight, hotel, food you eat, visa and a new laptop you got before the wedding shouldn't be counted. Some even add in all their EMF's and flowers sent? This is fine for figuring what the relationship had cost? but to say the wedding cost this is wrong and gives others the wrong impression of the costs.

Because of the wide range of women's ages and lives it's hard to group them into a price range (only spend this amount). Being some are younger and never married to older women with children. They have in there mind what they want and expenses. Some you have to bring down to reality. Whether your rich or not? it makes no difference your setting yourself up for a rough time. The more you say yes to make her happy the more she will continue with it. If you give her a carte blanche don't complain after. You did it to yourself.

[David5o]

Rob,

Then spend a darn sight less on the next one then... If you go into your next marriage thinking along those lines stated, you WILL end up spending an arm and a leg!! ...hahaha!!  

David....

[feisnik]

If they are younger than mid-30's, you will pay more. If they have never married before you will pay more. If they are an only child you will pay more. If their family is from rural China you will pay more for the dowry. It all  varies, but $10,000 USD is not out of line for the cost of the wedding including dowry.

[Peter]

Remember that a small Chinese wedding is about 80 guests.... but it doesn't have to be expensive. Tell your Lady about the economic situation and I am convinced that she will make the best wedding for the money you can afford to spend.
Talking about the Red Envelope... We didn't accept any Red Envelopes on our wedding because we told our gusts that there was no chance that we could give any Red Envelopes in the future.. The only Red Envelope we couldn't say no to was from our parents.

[maxx]

Are wedding party in China was 2,500 USD  that was for probably 100 people.We did recieve the red Envelopes.My motherinlaw pocketed all the money from the red envelopes.I did recieve all the money back and more on latter trips to China.

[Ed W]

The variations in this is so wide it's incredible. I read in some cases guys pay quite a healthy sum and in my case i got away scott-free. Our wedding in China was only 20 people and although I dont know the true cost, I'd guess it wasnt more than 400 rmb. I'm just guaging this on the ammount of food served. I've never paid a dowry and nobody in her family has ever mentioned even one word of expectations or any mention of money....ever!

I got off the plane with 9000 rmb and it was gone after 2 weeks. I think most will agree, that's damn good money management for being married, the wedding, professional photo shoot, buying gifts, hotel for a week, dinners out and so on. My wife is 40 so it coincides with Nik's thoughts about the younger they are, there might be more expectations.

[Neil]

Get out Ed.  Your wife is not 40.  Ok, well you got yourself one pretty 40 year old wife there.