Mike
I follow everything you say and obviously I am a complete novice compared to you, so I would not dream of disrespecting you by disagreeing with what you say. In point of fact, I actually don't disagree with you anyway - I don't know if she knew about or sent the 'photos but what I do know, and I almost commented on it in a letter to her, was that she did not look happy dressed up in a little black dress and striking a pose; in fact she looked distinctly unhappy and uncomfortable. It just was not her and she knew it. Please don't misunderstand me, these are not girlie mag type photos, far, far from it, they are heavily photoshopped and vamped up. There is nothing revealing and I would be proud to have her on my arm dressed as she is. In that respect, I'm cool with the photos. But, from the little that I know of her, and the sincerity I see in her eyes in other photos, I can say without fear of contradiction that they are not her.
What I do strongly believe, is that she did send me the ordinary photos of herself 'outside' and she looked relaxed, happy and utterly beautiful - and I wrote and told her so (well, not the relaxed, happy bit, that wouldn't have been romantic you understand). It is also unsurprising that the letter she sent those photos with was the longest, loveliest I have received from her. I rest my case....
If I get one nano second of a chance Mike - I will make the trip, God willing it comes to that.
And Mike, I long for the day when I can paraphrase one sentence in your post that I am replying to:
"I do know that after I met Fei, it was clear that she would only talk to me, or see me, and NO OTHER MAN."
That will be one of the most special and proudest days of my life.
Thanks Mike, your thoughts have given me much consolation.
Have a good night and sleep well.
John
John,
Virtually all profile refreshes are instigated by the agency, with little and more likely no input from the the lady herself.
If this bothers you too much, i suggest that after you have reached an understanding between you both, then suggest that you both have your profiles hidden. If she agrees then at least you will have some idea to her sincerity towards your relationship.... Around the same time i would also start suggesting additional means of communications, such as IM and or IM/webcam.
David.....
Hi David
You are another one that I have come to know well from hours of clicking around and reading posts.
Wow! You people are all so amazing, you all have such incredible and valuable advice to give. There are so many good points here David, thanks a lot for that.
Please don't be offended, but how do you know about the profile refreshes? Are you absolutely sure? I really hope that what you say is so because, although I know I'm making a big deal about it, I was so wounded when I saw Fei's refreshed profile, and only 2 days after she wrote me such lovely words, including that "she cherished this chance." And, ok, some of it MAY have been the translator but I do believe she wrote the words I have quoted.
Yes, I'm going to move towards gently suggesting that she hides her profile, mine is already hidden, at a slightly later time. In fact it would be wonderful if Fei took that decision herself. I don't know about additional means of communication though as she has written that she does not speak or write English. I'll tackle that one at a later date but there is no way I 'm going to put her in an embarrassing position. Only she will know when she is ready for that and I'll be guided by her. I just hope with all my heart that we get that far and that Chnlove and translators don't ruin our relationship.
Gotta go now. Thanks David I really appreciate your help and advice
John