Planning my first trip to China

[seagull]

Hi brothers, I am from Australia and have been writing to a lady in Wuhan and now we have reached the stage where I may be going to visit her.

I haven't made any promises or commitment to her, I just said that I would visit her and we would see what happens from here.  So the relationship may not be as strong as some of the other members who have visited their ladies.

She agreed to this. However, the excitement of this has sort of changed to worry, I have a few questions, maybe some experienced members can answer?

1) For those who have done this already, how long did you go on your first trip? I was thinking 14 nights, but I am concerned this may be too long. Especially if things do not work out with the lady. I asked the lady and she said I would only know once I meet her.

2) The lady lives in Wuhan and I said that I wanted to also visit Shanghai. Mainly because I find after travelling all the way from Australia to China, I would like to do some tourism and see a major city. This is no big deal, but I thought I would make the most of my trip to China. I study Mandarin and am very interested in China, so I wanted to incorporate more China sight seeing into my trip. I haven't asked the lady if she wanted to travel to Shanghai with me just because I do not know if she is able to or the expense of this. So I was thinking of just going there for a few nights on my own. Did anyone else do something like this on their trip? Or did you only visit the lady's hometown?  It just seems like a long way to travel just to visit a backwater place, if you know what I mean.

3) The lady wants to use a translator because she says that she is nervous about meeting a foreigner for the first time. I said that I am happy with this. How long did you use a translator for? Was it expensive? Is this a good idea?

4) How did the lady find the time to see you with work and other commitments? My lady says that part of the time I visit will be on a public holiday so she will be able to see me. But what about the rest of my time there? I know I can't expect her to drop everything in her life to see me, but by travelling all this way to see her, I am doing that for her.

5) Is it customary to bring a gift for the lady? What did you bring? As I said before, I am not initially visiting China to marry her immediately. So I think I would be better off giving her a small token rather than making a grand romantic gesture.

I am sorry if these sound like silly questions. I just do not know where to start with this. Thanks in advance to anyone who can answer any of my questions. At first I was really excited about this, but now reality has set in. Ha ha. But in a worse case scenario if things do not work out, I am hoping just to have a good holiday in China.

[David E]

Hi brothers, I am from Australia and have been writing to a lady in Wuhan and now we have reached the stage where I may be going to visit her.

Hi there seagull....greetings from Perth

Its quite easy to get around China by air...OK, major centres only, but even many smaller towns are well served by China Southern or local airlines and the prices are unbelievably cheap compared to what we are used to paying to get around Aus !!

In the bigger centres, you can JUST get by with no Chinese language, but if you are able to communicate because you study Chinese you will be better off than most !

I have been there 10+ times and never had any problems with security, local hostility or such...lovely place. lovely people, lovely food...but they will all try to take as much money off you as they can...BARGAIN hard for anything and everything.

Again, if you have some language and a reasonable language computer (I use the Yishen880) you wont need a translator for all the time you are with your lady. But first up, for 1 or 2 days it makes life easy, she is more relaxed with the translator there...after that...up to you both. Transators cost about $50 per day...pretty cheap IMO.

As for gifts...take her a stuffed Koala from the Aus souvenir shop...they love 'em...(but cut off the "made in China" labels first ...and also you can get a bag of 24 mini koala key rings for friends, translator etc...a bit corny I know, but works for me !!!

These Women dont get much time off work and they dont get 4 weeks holidays like we do, maybe she can organise a couple of days either side of the Pub. Hol ?...ask her (nicely) !!

I usually go for 8 to 10 days each trip...long enough to be good if things work out...short enough to get out after a bit of sightseeing if they dont !

Onr thing I WILL guarantee is that you will fall in love with this place....the attitudes, the sheer hustle and bustle of it, the evidence of a life richer and simpler than ours is overwhelming....but you will HATE the pollution after the champagne air of Australia

Good luck
DavidE

[Martin]

I am sorry if these sound like silly questions. I just do not know where to start with this.

These are not silly questions at all.  You are off to a good start in asking these questions.  I will let some of the more seasoned veterans answer your questions, as most of them really do not apply to my situation from when I went, so i don't know how to answer your questions.

I can answer #5.  I brought a few things.  I brought a large chocolate in the shape of a heart...a necklace with a gold heart pendant with three small diamonds in it...some perfume, and a couple of shirts from Canada.  I also brought an engagement ring...but this does not sound like it applies in your case.

Hope it helps.

[maxx]

# 1 14 days is ok.Yes she will probably have to work.No big deal alot to see and do in Wuhan on your own.

#2 no I always stayed with my wife.But it could be done if your Chinese is fairly descent.You will learn alot more.And have a better time if you do have a local as a guide.

#3 yes my first trip we had a translater for the first 2 days.The translater was so my wife would feel more comfortable.about 35.00 a day at the time.translater prices change from agency to agency.

#4 my wife just took the time off from work.She is a plastic surgeon so she could scedule her own time.If your lady can't do that.You can wonder around wuhan by yourself.

#5 yes bring a gift for the lady something simple.I liked Davids suggestion as far as gifts go.

China is easy to get around.Invest in a handheld translater.Well worth the price.Have a good time and good luck.

[seagull]

Hi DavidE - thanks for the reply! That was very helpful. I think after reading your post, I will visit Wuhan for about eight nights. That sounds about right, enough time to get to know the girl and see Wuhan, but not too long in case things do not work out. I don't think I will visit Shanghai like I originally wanted to and will just stick with Wuhan.

The prices of a translator sound reasonable and thank you for the gift ideas. I guess anything with an Australian flavour would be good.

BTW I am also from Perth. It is nice to meet another WA person here!

I am sorry if these sound like silly questions. I just do not know where to start with this.

These are not silly questions at all.  You are off to a good start in asking these questions.  I will let some of the more seasoned veterans answer your questions, as most of them really do not apply to my situation from when I went, so i don't know how to answer your questions.

I can answer #5.  I brought a few things.  I brought a large chocolate in the shape of a heart...a necklace with a gold heart pendant with three small diamonds in it...some perfume, and a couple of shirts from Canada.  I also brought an engagement ring...but this does not sound like it applies in your case.

Hope it helps.

Thanks for the encouragement there Martin and the gift suggestion.

# 1 14 days is ok.Yes she will probably have to work.No big deal alot to see and do in Wuhan on your own.

#2 no I always stayed with my wife.But it could be done if your Chinese is fairly descent.You will learn alot more.And have a better time if you do have a local as a guide.

#3 yes my first trip we had a translater for the first 2 days.The translater was so my wife would feel more comfortable.about 35.00 a day at the time.translater prices change from agency to agency.

#4 my wife just took the time off from work.She is a plastic surgeon so she could scedule her own time.If your lady can't do that.You can wonder around wuhan by yourself.

#5 yes bring a gift for the lady something simple.I liked Davids suggestion as far as gifts go.

China is easy to get around.Invest in a handheld translater.Well worth the price.Have a good time and good luck.

Thank you Maxx. Even though I study Mandarin I have very little experience speaking it, so I don't think my Chinese will be anywhere near sufficient to get by. I'm hoping to pick up a bit more of the language when I get over there. I will invest in a handheld translator though, I think it will definitely make things a lot smoother when I am there.

[brett]

When I went to Hong Kong I found 14 days was too long, but that was mostly because I did too much walking in the tropical heat & humidity - try and take it easy (although being from Oz you'll no doubt be used to heat).

Yes Chinese ladies work hard (often 9-6, 6 days a week), and I am aware that mine is making a big sacrifice of her holiday time to see me. Depending on what they do, they are also expected to make quite a few business trips out of town. I'd guess you could sightsee during the day then see her during the evenings.

As far as gifts go, I think I will get something from my own country, but try and avoid something that was made in China in the first place. I also have a fabulous book I found with pictures of abolutely everything and their English and Chinese names. If you get the honour of meeting her parents/siblings/other family members you might like to think about what they would like as well.

Also it's often a good idea to talk to your lady outside of the EMF before you go - I've talked to mine on MSN so I now know that I am falling in love with a real girl and not a translator.

[David5o]

seagull,

Do you really think 8 nights is enough to get to know your lady to a suitable level?? If your serious about finding a Chinese wife, then i don't think your going to achieve that much in just 8 nights. As others have said here, there are plenty of things to see and do in Wuhan, just save the evenings for your lady. If things go pear shaped as some have, just lately, then have a back-up plan, which could be what you were talking about in your post ....visiting a major city!!

I really think trying to split 14 nights, between your lady and visiting a another city is not a good idea, if of course your serious about this lady. For most of the guys on this site, the top most priority of there first visit to meet their lady, is to get to know them as much as possible, by spending as much time as possible with them. Just seems you have other priorities, that have nothing to do with this lady!!

David....

[Danny]

Seagull

I think play it by ear. If it's going really well spend the whole 14 days with her. If it's not, then do something else.

You have to have a back-up plan. Work out the details. Because if the relationship doesn't work out you need something to get you out of hotel room. There's nothing worse than spending days holed up in your hotel room. Don't ask me how I know - I just know *laughs*

I am going back for my second visit in a couple of weeks. It might work out and it might not. I damn well hope it does work out. I will give it my best shot. But I am going to have a blast whatever happens.

Danny

[brett]

Agreed - a backup plan is good. I have a couple of backup ladies I might try and meet if my favourite lady is not for me. I think also that your lady's agency will be more than willing to fix you up with alternative ladies (although someone who has already been to China can confirm or deny this for me!)

I do find it difficult to keep more than one lady on the go though, so I am prepared for the fact that this is a medium term objective and I may need to make several trips to find my special somebody.

[ttwjr32]

Seagull---- from my experiences i would go for at least 2 weeks. and spend
  as much time with your lady as you can. if every thing goes well i think and
  from past experience she will find more time to be with you when you are
  there. bring something small and inexpensive for her on your first visit. i
  brought something from my hometown here in the states. get ready for
  what will be a really great experience for you and maybe you never know
  she might just be the one.  and oh yes just be careful crossing those streets
  when there. the first visit years ago that was a whole new experience for me
  and if you do find or have time by yourself when she is working venture out
  as you will meet some really great people when there. if it all goes well when
 your time is up and you go home well that is a sad day and you will be trying to
 figure out when you can go back.
 Ted

[daghoi]

As mentioned in another post above. Try to have some contact outside EMF's before you go. Web cam throught the agencey or something like that. Just to make sure that you are talking to a real person and that she know that you are coming. Do not need to be several times or long conversations. Sure you have read the stories about translators writing on behalf of the woman. I travelled from Norway to Guangzhou just to find out that things what not as when writing. Lucky i had a back up plan for what i wanted to see & do. So i had a great time and i liked it so much that i have travelled to China after my "failed" trip, and will go again, when time and money allow :icon_cheesygrin:

(Probably things are ok, but unfortunant things are know to happen with thse agencies, so be a little bit sceptic).

[JimB]

I just came back from Wuhan.  We are now  back at home in Beijing.  we stayed at the Howard Johnsons in Pearl City.  Beautiful Hotel overlooking the Yangtze River.  A park along the river to walk in.  You will pay about 600 Yuan a night, it includes breakfast and internet.  When making hotel reservations make sure what is included and what isnt. The beds are also very good. In some hotels the beds are like laying on a piece of plywood covered with a 1/2" piece of cotton.  This is how the Chinese sleep, really takes some getting used to.  .  Wuhan is one of the hottest cities in China so be prepared for the heat.  There are actually three cities in Wuhan.  They are a good bit from the airport.  I would definitely have a backup plan because while Wuhan is a good city, there is not much touristy things to do. The lake is one. A river boat cruise is another.  My wife is from there so that is where we had to go for our wedding.  So if you get in a big jam, call me as my brother in law is a detective there and has a lot of pull.  I wouldnt use him for little things but if in a jam ok.  Do take her for a stroll along the river.  Lots of things happening there.  Everyone is out at night in the park.  They sell these neat kites with lights on them.  As far as the rest goes, I agree with the brothas.

[Willy The Londoner]

I am going back for my second visit in a couple of weeks. It might work out and it might not. I damn well hope it does work out. I will give it my best shot. But I am going to have a blast whatever happens.

Danny

Well at least you know that you will have a warm beer loving, randy pommie to console you in your hour of need.  I mean over a beer not on my shoulder.  Now if you were a thirty year old Sheila - well!!!!!

Willy

Have you decided on hotel yet.  I stayed at the Tourist hotel when I first arrived.

[maxx]

Willy did you like the tourist hotel? I Didn't We allways stay at the greenery hotel right across the street.From the tourist hotel.Much better hotel.for a couple of dollers more a night.Nanayang seascape hotel is nice to .But it is getting to expensive.

[Willy The Londoner]

Willy did you like the tourist hotel? I Didn't We allways stay at the greenery hotel right across the street.From the tourist hotel.Much better hotel.for a couple of dollers more a night.Nanayang seascape hotel is nice to .But it is getting to expensive.

Maxx - Maybe I should recommend the Greenery instead.  I have a ulterior motive for the Tourist Hotel - It is one place my first girl wrote down for me and I still use it if I want to get to the shopping centre nearby.

For those visiting, get your ladies to write addresses for you in Chinese and if you are out and about on your own then just show it to the taxi driver.

Willy