China Romance
General Discussion and Useful Links => Ask An Experienced Member => Topic started by: shaun on September 10, 2009, 12:06:08 pm
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Periodically in life all men find themselves at a crossroads. I find myself that this point now. So, I am turning to the brotherhood to get ideas and opinions about directions to go. I am not asking you to tell me what to do but to give your opinion and information. With that understood let me tell you what I trying to decide. It occurred to me that I may not be the only one at this crossroad and thought this might help more people than just me.
Economically things are not going well and I see several ways to possibly improve my situation. I have an entrepreneurial spirit that came later in life but it is here. I am a little over 2 years away from an early second retirement but if I can go 6 more I can retire with a good medical plan for the rest of my life. I work for a local school system and because of the economy my salary is getting lower and lower. I also own a used furniture store that operates on the weekends. Right now because of the obamany I mean the economy the store is holding its own but unable to pay me a salary. Needless to say finances are tight. Not complaining just reality.
I have been getting my house ready to sell and looking for a smaller place in the country near the huge lake in my area that is more in line with my finances right now. My house is way too much for 1 man alone and payments way too high for my income. But as I have been looking I began thinking about other options and quite frankly one appeals to me right now. I’m just not sure it is the right thing to do.
I feel I have four options right now.
1. I can continue on like things are and find an extra job to help ends meet. I’ve been looking for a while and cannot at this time find anything suitable. But something will come.
2. I can move away from my children, all grown but we have college graduations, marriage and grandchildren as the next phase here, and go back into the oil industry, the place of my first retirement and make good money until the economy improves. (This would mean either selling or liquidating my store.) I would be close to my mother, she is 75, she is a ball of fire but her husband is not doing well. I could closer to help her when she needs it. She is 14 hours away by car.
3. I can sell the store and everything else I own and move to China get to know Pinky a lot better teach English and/or develop an export furniture/clothing business to America. (I know people in America that can handle this end.) If Pinky and I were to marry we could apply for her visa and move back when the economy improves and open a new store selling furniture from China. (I would have developed friends to run the Chinese export side.)
4. I applied for a job at a nuclear power plant that is expanding in the area that would solve all my financial issues and I could travel almost at will. (logistics) Problems is, so did 4000 other people and they do not know when they will actually hire. It could be up to one more year before they do.
I started to write Pinky about this and decided that was not a good idea at this point. I am sure she would say come to China and that is what I want to do but is it the best option for me or is there something I am missing or is there a better option.
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shaun yes you are right, there are many on here 'probably' at the crossroads of their life, I for one am I of them.
You mention that you are a further 2 years away from a 'second' early retirement. How many more years would this be if you were to move to China to do whatever you want?..Possibly more than 6, and with teaching through there you get medical plans.
how long have you had the weekend furniture store? It usually takes at least 3 years 'full time' to get any money back from the investment of owning your own business...
Your house is too big for one person, Can you really afford to keep it going? Why work yourself to death for a building? A home is where the heart is...
Your options.
1. How sure can you be that you will be hired again? (sorry if this hurts, it doesn't mean too)
2. Your children, grand children are still in contactable range, e.g computer, telephone...
your mother however is another matter? forgive me for saying this but, she has lived her life, now it's your turn.
3. YES YES and YES...
4. See answer 1.
shaun as was pointed out too me in my 'Problem thread' and I think you yourself said it, LIVE your life now for yourself...You answered your own question "...and that is what I want to do...".
Sure the economy 'may' get better in your country, but 'HOW' long are you willing to wait? You know you can also be entrepreneurial in another country too.
Hope this helps...
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Shaun,
I won't comment on any of the other options, I'll leave that for others here. Your option 3/ is the one I'll comment on.
Any business that you start in China will have to be owned/part owned by Pinky. Here comes the good bit.... By owning a business especially an export business, she wouldn't have much problem attaining a business visa to visit the States. In fact once she has travelled 2 or 3 times on a business visa, she could probably get a multiple entry visa .....See what a simple change of circumstances can give you!! haha!!
That would mean, you didn't have to stay full time in China either, well not after you have set things up to run it's self, with the trusted friends you talk about... Also, the longer you have been married and living together, the better and easier it will become to get your marriage visa for Pinky.
That's a very basic overall view of option3/, but i'm sure you can see the pros and cons from what I've said... Know that i'm a Brit, so you would have to check on US visa issues, but what i have outlined would certainly apply for UK. In fact i know of one or two ex colleagues that are doing just as you plan in option3/!! One of those being an Aussie.... Hope I've been of some help!!
David....
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Rob,
Thanks for replying. I am reasonably sure I can re-hire in the oil business. I had an excellent reputation and for the first 4 years after retirement people would write or call and ask me to come back. I was burned out and needed a break but I didn't realize it at the time. I could possibly find this kind of work in China too since there is an oil industry there. I've looked on the internet but all of the positions I see available are in England, France, Australia, and Malaysia. If I leave the US I would only consider China.
In the schools system I have to have 10 years to retire early. I am at the beginning of my 9th year. To get medical all I need at this time is 10+ years and be 60 when I retire. I could go for 3 years and come back when I was 57 or 58 and still qualify.
The furniture store is a little over 2 years old and because of my genius and superior abilities (who is kidding who here) I had a positive cash flow within 6 months. Within 12 months I began to pay myself and then the economy dropped. I've not had a negative cash flow month but it has been real close a few times. I think I can sell it for about $30,000.00 US and will more than get my investment back so it will be all good; it could sell for a lot less.
Shaun
Shaun,
I won't comment on any of the other options, I'll leave that for others here. Your option 3/ is the one I'll comment on.
Any business that you start in China will have to be owned/part owned by Pinky. Here comes the good bit.... By owning a business especially an export business, she wouldn't have much problem attaining a business visa to visit the States. In fact once she has travelled 2 or 3 times on a business visa, she could probably get a multiple entry visa .....See what a simple change of circumstances can give you!! haha!!
That would mean, you didn't have to stay full time in China either, well not after you have set things up to run it's self, with the trusted friends you talk about... Also, the longer you have been married and living together, the better and easier it will become to get your marriage visa for Pinky.
That's a very basic overall view of option3/, but i'm sure you can see the pros and cons from what I've said... Know that i'm a Brit, so you would have to check on US visa issues, but what i have outlined would certainly apply for UK. In fact i know of one or two ex colleagues that are doing just as you plan in option3/!! One of those being an Aussie.... Hope I've been of some help!!
David....
Yes, David what you said is a big help and something I didn't know. Good food for thought.
Thank you,
Shaun
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Shaun, I can't and won't try to make a decision for you, but I can say that the first and second ones on your list are definitely up to you, but in order to do number 3, I can say that there is nothing wrong in doing this but, you will have to maintain a permanent address here in the States in order to file for a visa for Pinky to come here, if you don't have this, they will NOT issue a visa to her, sorry buddy, I know this because a friend of mine did this and had to come back, rent an apartment for a year and then tried again for the visa, this lead to many other problems but the point is you need to maintain a permanent addy, but the rest of your plan sounds good, IF this is what you want to do.
By the way Shaun, my buddy rented an efficiency for a rear and paid for the year in advance, and went back to China where he is now, if you would like more details on how to do this, please PM me, I'll give you how he did this.
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MM,
Are you saying Mike, that if for arguments sake an American guy goes to another country, gets married there, and is say married for 5 years or so, ....he can't take his wife back to the States unless he maintained a permanent address there??
Surely, if he has registered with the American Embassy in that foreign country for his overall time of living there and had official marriage documents also registered with the American Embassy during that time, that has to mean something. If there was a problem where all Americans had to leave that country for whatever reason, are they saying that his wife would have to stay?? i can't belive that!!!!
That sounds pretty crazy to me, I know there is very little logic in Immigration philosophy, but what the hells their point, and where does his human rights come in play, let alone his rights as a US Citizen??
You have this Green Card lottery in the States that allows just about any bugger in from the third world, but one of your own Citizens can't bring his wife to the States.... Something radically wrong there!!!!
David.....
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David I think what you are talking about is that it is easier to sneak across a border illegally and get all the things that a citizen has to pay for for free and not have to pay any taxes, and besides that you can get a green card, social security card and drivers license for a total cost of about $300.......ROkFLMAO
Oh, and forgot to add that at the end of the year when you get your W-2 form for wages earned you pay your taxes and get a buzz from the IRS (internal revenue service) that your short as they show you make 3 times that much.............lol
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Norb,
It's a fact in these modern days, it just doesn't pay to be honest anymore with officialdom, far easier and even better to use the backdoors or grease a few palms, cause if you don't you'll just get shafted!!
David....
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Periodically in life all men find themselves at a crossroads.
Shaun
Management Rule No.1:
"If it is not necessary to make a decision, then it is necessary NOT to make a decision"
Management Rule No. 2:
"Let the battle be at a time and place of YOUR choosing"
I only have a few comments that may assist your decision processes......
If you did not have Pinky, or a potential Chinese Lady in your life...what would you do then ? Maybe you should not make any irrevocable decisions about your life situation based on the possibility that You and Pinky MIGHT be a "forever item"....wait until this becomes more clear.....I think this issue is the basis for your arrrival at the "crossroads" ??
If your critical need is cash-flow, then liquidate, modify and reorganise.
If your critical need is asset stability....do nothing, assets will recover in time.
When we come to a crossroads, our need to take some sort of decision often over rides our common sense.....see Management Rule No. 1 !!!
Lastly.......
We should never get Tactical issues get in the way of Strategy......
We should define and understand our Strategy before we attempt to deal with the Tactics......Tactics win battles, Strategies win Wars :icon_cheesygrin:
If your Strategy is to reorganise your life to ensure a better future with Pinky.........fine, go for it
If your Strategy is to re-organise your life so that YOU can survive...different deal !!!!
When you decide your Strategy, then deal with the Tactics, the "how" to achieve it.
IMHO, Pinky at this time is part of the Tactics.... Organising the welfare of Shaun is the Strategy !!!
DavidE
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David, yes that is what I'm saying, the way the U.S.government has set up the Visa process is that they don't and won't interfear with the Embassy in China, what they say is the way it is and it seems to depend on if the Visa officer got laid the night before or not and they also seem to change the rules when ever they think you have it thought out, your wife can go to the visa interview with 100 other women and men to get the visa and not two of them will have been asked for the same things or given the same questions as any other person that day, some will be asked for every thing from what you do for a living to seeing recipts for everything the two of you did for the entire time the two of you have known each other to someone being asked two questions and thats it, no photos, documents, nothing, but the U.S.C. will have to have a permanent address in the U.S., do I think this is good, No, do I agree with you, on some of this Yes, can anything be done about it?, not on your life, and if you try to make a stink about it, you have to set up an appointment to talk to someone so they can say, " thats the rules", we as the U.S.C.'s can't even be with or wives, on the same floor let alone be in the same room during the interview, we have to wait in the coffee shop down stairs and look at the faces coming down the stairs to see if they passed or not.
If your S.O. happens to get a pink paper then they have a visa that will come in the mail, if the have a white paper then its no visa, or a blue paper then its not yet, they want something to be proved, but try to find out what that is for the blue one and they won't or can't tell you, they will mail it to you, for the white its usually " a non-bonafide (?) relationship"
Forgot, you can use a friends address as long as they can give you recipts for rent, or you parents house number and that will be okay, they will not take a P.O.Box number, the U.S.C.I.S. needs this to be able to mail you all the information and forms they need you to have and fill out.
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MM,
I thought that might be an issue and I am going to try to buy a piece of land to build on. I am already talking with a realtor and have selected the land. If need be, I could put a trailer on it and rent it to one of my children; heaven help me. If I did #3 this would have already taken place prior to leaving. I can't see leaving before Christmas and if my house sells before then I will need a place until I leave. My son still lives with me and I am sure he would want to live there. He loves the land I am looking at. It is real appealing.
Guys,
This is some of the kind of stuff I am looking for, pitfalls the could stop the process. Business and home ownership are critical issues.
David E,
I understand and agree with what you are saying. I learned as a firefighter that I can't help anyone else unless I first take care of me.
There are three potential strategies I see that see that affect my welfare or will determine the direction I will go. 1. I can go back into the workforce and do well in the occupation I understand most thereby providing a calculated moderate progression of financial support for me or family. 2. I can continue with the course I have already charted as far as my store is concerned. I have already begun the liquidation process by taking products out of my store that rarely produce sales if at all thereby bringing necessary capitol to purchase more inventory to put into the store and streamlining the product line to help increase cash flow. Providing more of a variety of furniture is crucial to sales. Women when faced with more than 2 choices of a particular type of furniture will have more of a tendency to buy. 3. Moving to the next level of marketing by being an importer/exporter selling wholesale to stores is where I need to be. I have discovered this is where the money is at. To do that I will have to go to China and develop relationships with people I can trust. The benefit is that Pinky is not only there and very much interested in me as I am in her but she can help me cut through the language barrier and find the products at a reasonable price and shipping.
#2 and #3 are dependent on the economy which sucks big time right now. The news reports that the recession is over and slowly improving.
I do not agree with that assessment. People are still holding on to their assets. Our state government is still cutting down their expenditures. We suspect that the Governor of Georgia will cut another 4.5 million from our school budget. That is 1 local school system of about 30 schools. Some of the shortfall will be recovered from my finances. Two months ago when they cut our salaries by 4.5 million I took a $300.00 a month pay cut. I can't loose any more income. I am actually working part of my day for free; about 1 hour a day. The work still needs to be done.
The actual plan will be laid out once the strategy is chosen. If I plan now I won't be on the streets tomorrow.
Thanks,
Shaun
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Shaun,
They sure are, so you make dammed sure your that what ever you decide, you have all the bases covered, and then some too!!
David...
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Shaun, when you have the deed in hand or the bill of sale go to the post office and have them issue a street address for the house/trailer this will work for the Visa process, good luck and best wishes brother
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Shaun, when you have the deed in hand or the bill of sale go to the post office and have them issue a street address for the house/trailer this will work for the Visa process, good luck and best wishes brother
Thanks, MM.
I do not want to get to China and then find out that I will have to come back for one little thing I overlooked if this is the path I choose.
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Shaun buying land and building a house on it is one of the things I've wanted to do. I might still? If the utilities are available for the lot it's not o hard to do. A mobile home? Check to see if the zoning allows it before you got that way. State and town laws are different and living in a State that has mobiles homes everywhere I found some places they don't allow it. I thought the same, buy some land and throw a MH on it until. Here they're killing off them off. Closing MH parks to put up condo's. So do your homework before making plans.
Hey I'll tell you what? Let me know what you have in mind with that. Maybe I'll do the same and I do have home building experience. :icon_cool: Maybe we would be neighbors? hehe
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Shaun buying land and building a house on it is one of the things I've wanted to do. I might still? If the utilities are available for the lot it's not o hard to do. A mobile home? Check to see if the zoning allows it before you got that way. State and town laws are different and living in a State that has mobiles homes everywhere I found some places they don't allow it. I thought the same, buy some land and throw a MH on it until. Here they're killing off them off. Closing MH parks to put up condo's. So do your homework before making plans.
Hey I'll tell you what? Let me know what you have in mind with that. Maybe I'll do the same and I do have home building experience. :icon_cool: Maybe we would be neighbors? hehe
Vince,
I have already checked into it. The lots I am looking at already have electricity and water. I would have to put in a septic system. The parcel I am looking at has 9 - 40' X 80' lots. You need 4 lots to put a house or a mobile home on it. The mobile home (MH) needs to be 1976 or newer. The county (Georgia) I currently reside doesn't allow MH's any more. They will do new double wides on 10 acres. The lots I am looking at are just over the river in South Carolina and they are much more accepting of MH's.
If I do option #3 it would give me most all it need to bring Pinky back plus a place to stay. I would try to rent to my son to at least cover the monthly cost so that it would not be a drain financially.
There is another lot about 1 mile from this location that is undeveloped that is a 100' X 180' if I remember correctly that is a part of the of the land deal. I am looking for a suitable MH low enough to make it worth my while plus attractive enough for the bank.
Both parcels are 5 miles from town and 5 miles from the dam at the lake, huge lake, Lake Thurmond named after Strom Thurmond; about 3 miles from the Savannah River if I want to go and just drop a hook in the water; 8 miles from a Kroger and Walmart; to me an ideal location. There may be other lots out there, I have not checked.
If it were to be at least the women would have someone close by to talk to.
Shaun
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I do not agree with that assessment. People are still holding on to their assets.
Shaun
Not quite sure which assessment you dont agree with.....
I remarked that assets are always recoverable in the LONG TERM. Anybody suffering asset stress from the current Economic Climate should try to not make decisions in the short term. Assets, especially Real Estate will come back over time. Statistics over the past 100 years totally prove this.
But if cash flow crises demand asset reductions on a depressed market, then we have no choice, but it is the most expensive option in the long run to sell assets on a down market where everybody is trying to do the same. If you can possibly afford to hang on to your real estate until the market recovers (long term) then it is the best overall financial solution.
DavidE
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David,
I will PM my response.
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I do not agree with that assessment. People are still holding on to their assets.
Shaun
Not quite sure which assessment you dont agree with.....
I remarked that assets are always recoverable in the LONG TERM. Anybody suffering asset stress from the current Economic Climate should try to not make decisions in the short term. Assets, especially Real Estate will come back over time. Statistics over the past 100 years totally prove this.
But if cash flow crises demand asset reductions on a depressed market, then we have no choice, but it is the most expensive option in the long run to sell assets on a down market where everybody is trying to do the same. If you can possibly afford to hang on to your real estate until the market recovers (long term) then it is the best overall financial solution.
DavidE
David,
I just re-read this whole thread. You said, "Not quite sure which assessment you dont agree with....."
The assessment I don't agree with was not yours. I disagree with the news reporters here in America that the worst of the recession is over. They are saying that we've made a turn and things are improving. I don't see that at all.
The school system I work for if facing another possible 4.5 million cut in January. Why? The loss of tax revenue. My store still continues to be very slow. The type of business I have 80% of the people look 20% buy. Right now 95% look and 5% but but want a huge discount. If I do not give them some kind of discount they walk.
The store is in a Flea Market and I had hopes of moving it or opening another store in a regular store front a couple of months ago. Right now I may need to reduce the size of my store to survive. I see customers walking up and down the rows carrying nothing or absolute necessities.
Shaun
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Hi Shaun
I am the last one to be given advice to someone who is at the Crossroads. My crossroads have turned into a roundabout and I am going round in circles looking for the right route to take to fulfil my personal dream.
But i know that one day i will find the road to future happiness and maybe tomorrow will be the day I turn off my personal roundabout (even though i am enjoying every minute of the journey) and head towarsds Utopia. Like my eldest sister said 'keep following the dream'.
Have read your entries over the weeks I know that you think out concerns very carefully and I am aware that you know where your best advice will come from. - the same place as Mike gets his.
I know that you will have everything in order before you go. You will not be going alone.
So go ahead and join the successful ones because the road will be widened for you.
Willy
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A few topics to cover at the same time.
I did the flea market thing a few weeks ago. Helping out a woman I dated like 13 years ago. The Ads say this flea market is the largest in the world? I don't know if it's true but that's what they say. Nothing really sold. I think we sold maybe $40.00 worth of her junk. But taking a walkabout nothing was really selling except things cheap enough to be resold or something like clothing that they sell off for export. It's like recycling metals except it's clothing.
As for chinese women? This is it. For whatever reason Song doesn't work out (I doubt it) I'll start a search here in the states instead. I'm getting to old and to tired to keep fighting the rules and government. It sort of like when I bought a brand new SUV a few years ago. The insurance co was screwing me and that's with no accidents (1 in 1994) or tickets for years. They kept raising the price. They figured they had me by the %&#*s. I put the SUV into auction after a year and got my money back. Now what is the insurance co. gonna do? Now they get nothing. The government is just about the same on this. They want to play their games, They get nothing either. I'll move to China.
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Thanks Willy for your comments.
Vince,
The Flea market is really slow everywhere except if you are doing certain kinds of businesses. There is a guy right across from me who calls himself the computer doctor. He sells computer systems and makes almost nothing on them but where he is making his money is in service. He does diagnostic for free but loads software and replaces parts and makes very good money for 2 days a week.
I think that it will take several years for the economy to straighten out. Whether it is auto insurance or medical insurance I think the greed has become so outrageous that they are reaping what they are sowing through Obama. (Please this is not a political statement about Obama or anyone for that matter.) It is not good for the people or the long run but it is 2 fold; 1. to punish the insurance companies for their obscene profits, and 2. it is a typical government non-solution.
Shaun