China Romance
General Discussion and Useful Links => The Campfire => Topic started by: Scottish_Rob on September 13, 2009, 07:03:02 am
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arnold started a thread about the letters you get from your lady...What about your response...lets start.
24th December 2008
Zao An
Hello Kathy
I am so very sorry that I have not got back to you since I sent you a cupid not....I have been very busy and have had a terrible month, so again I apologise.
I hope that I am not too late you look so very lovely that I realised that I could have missed the boat... Yes Kathy you are right, we both came on to this site to find the 'perfect' partner for each other. Reading that you have 'read' over my profile several times tells me that you are interested, and that you have taken the time to 'perhaps' see the real person that is inside of me. I know this sounds silly but please follow your feelings towards me, I can promise that you will not be disappointed he he
If we can work out I will be like you and be the same as you with all my heart, mind, body and soul. You will not have to cook everyday this is one of my favourite pastimes and would be honoured to 'cook' something really nice for you. I know that the custom of the Chinese women is to walk behind their men, however, this I would not tolerate, if you are with me then you would be by my side, I would be the proudest man in the world to have you by my side.
Let us start and try to build a solid relationship, in which we could have a strong and nice future before us. You have and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, my most favourite name in the whole world, honestly. We have possibly many questions that we would like to ask each other and like you I promise that anything you ask I will answer honest, and I will never lie to you or anyone.....Honesty is the mainstream of my life, if someone lies they are cheating no one but themselves. My full name is Robert O'Donnell, O'Donnell in Scottish means 'Son of'.
If you do not mind Kathy I would want to get to know my future wife really well before even going to see her in person, that way when they meet, they will know many things about each other and the meeting would not be too strained, I do hope that you agree with me on this? Falling in love is the ideal situation for me, yes I would love to come to your home town to visit you, and also get to meet your family, of course before any of this we would need your parents blessing!! I believe in family values, and please believe me when I say that I know you are 'not' trying to pressure me into anything.
Your beautiful city sounds a wonderful place, I liked what you said about beautiful Quingdao having a beautiful you he he. Where I live is in the North West of England not too far from quite a famous place called 'The Lake District' this is a beautiful area and I go there quite often to sit by the waters edge just to daydream. If you would like to send me some photos of yourself and your lovely city that would be lovely, but could you please make them ones that are not done by the agency, thank you.
I almost forgot do you speak English? If not what language do you speak mandarin with what dialect? I am very happy I just hope that I have not been too late in contacting you:-(( I must say this and believe me when I say it comes from my heart, you are one of the most beautiful looking ladies I have ever seen in my life.
Ask me anything you would like to know and I will answer you truthful
Bao Zhong
Sweet Kathy
Rob...xxx
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I don't think there are any left handed Chinese ... they get their left hand bandaged to force them to use the right hand if they are a natural left hander ... :D
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I don't think there are any left handed Chinese ... they get their left hand bandaged to force them to use the right hand if they are a natural left hander ... :D
They also used to have their feet bandaged so they were petite...But these customs were stopped many years ago...I don't believe that they have been in existence for the past thirty years or more...
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Rob,
I think you'll find it's been a bit longer than that.... lol!!
David...
PS ... i haven't forgot your PM, just been very busy here yesterday and today....
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I'm thinking it has ben about 70 years since they tied the feet.I have heard rumor it is still done in certain parts of China.But Ive never seen it.The feet binding was something left over from the Manchu empire if I remember right.
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Hey, am I in trouble with any of the family if I am left handed?
Shaun
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Maxx,
I think you'll find that any remnants of feet binding was stamped out by the communist revolution. This feet binding was mainly performed in higher class families, not within the general mass of the population....
I doubt very much, that ladies that had, had this foot binding as a child, would be much good in the fields or anywhere else come to that.... Absolutely barbaric in my book!!
David.....
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Hey guy's do you think that maybe MY MUM and DAD bound me so I wouldn't grow....lol
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David yes I think it is Barbaric.I got my information from a Chinese women who wrote a book about growing up in China at that time.The name of the book is called falling leaves.Written by Adeline Yen Mah.It is well worth the read.She covers a little about the feet binding and Chinese buissness, politics,Japan's ocupation of China,Social class,And a number of other subjects.
About the foot binding.It was also what we were taught in school.And what I have read on the enternet.And what my wife told me before.I don't remember if it was a class thing.But I think you are right.A peasent with broken feet wouldn't be much help in the field.
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The left hand thing is still done as far as I know, but then I know of parents in Europe who did the same with very quick succes (if you can speak of success). I don't think it will bother anyone Shaun, I'd worry more about your hair :D DOn't mind me joking about it, I have the same haircut :angel:
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Shaun
Sorry mate, they will have to amputate your left hand...cant infringe Chinese Tradition now that you are involved with Chinese Lady :icon_cheesygrin:
BTW...Left -handedness in Latin is "Sinister"...which refers to "being posessed by the Devil " !!!! from whence we get our word "sinister"....they obviously got that wrong in your case LOL
One more piece of useless information Hahaha
DavidE
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No information is useless mate:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Some thoughts on "First Letters"
I read with interest the type of letter that Rob and Mike sent to their Ladies very early in their correspondence. I dont know if they are typical of what other Bros wrote, because we dont have many samples yet.
I have to admit, that my first letters were very boring in comparison, I usually stick to some biographical stuff....background, education, family, prospects, where and how I live and stuff like that.
I never thought I could get away with much in-depth relationship stuff in the early days....too presumptive ??
Question is...Am I wrong here ??? Could it be that my responses are seen as a bit "clinical" ? I was never comfortable to get too emotional in early letters in case the relationship went nowhere and I didnt want to lead her on with false words and promises.
I would still feel uncomfortable getting too deep early, but I would welcome some thoughts from others as to what may be the better "balance" in my letters ???
Thanks
DavidE
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Here is my boring letter to go along with David's. Effective, honest, and direct. So far it is doing me well. Will know this November if we are successful as a couple.
Good Afternoon Ms. Xiu Ru;
I have time to read your letter and am filled with joy. I remember with fondness the doctor that took care of my children when they were small. I admire you for your work and indeed the patience that it takes to work with children.
My work place is like a hospital but it is really a big house with many rooms. We do not want the patients to feel like they are in a hospital but in their own room when they die. I will bring my camera soon and take a picture of this lovely place. There are many flowers and birds in our gardens.
I just started my nursing career as in my younger days I was a manager for the cleaning crew at a local college. When my son died (he was 28 years old), I made the decision to do more and give more back to life. It was during this time that I went back to school and became a Hospice nurse.
You are free to ask any questions at any time. I have been married just one time for a period of 12 years. I have been divorced for 15 years. My ex-wife has re-married and is very happy. My children are all married and happy. I am happy but am looking to find a special lady to marry.
The question that we must answer to one another is if we find happiness together, will you be able to come to America as I am not sure that I would be able to find work in China.
I love to travel and will make a trip to China this fall. It will most likely be late October or early November. I need to wait my turn for holiday. This will give us time to see if we are compatible.
I have always been attracted to the Asian Ladies. I know that from my history lessons that Japan and China have not always been on good terms. I spent 4 years in Japan during my military service and enjoyed my time there very much. I belive that the beauty from the Asian Ladies comes from within and can be seen in the smile and eyes and heard with the voice.
I like to travel and see other countries and their ways of life. I spent last year in Peru and spent 3 days in the Amazon Jungle and then 4 days hiking the Inca Trail to Mucho Pucu. I have to say that the trip was very moving. I felt the presence of my departed son and was able to complete my goodbye.
If you look on a map you will find Greensboro North Carolina on the Eastern coast of the United States. I just moved here from Colorado for this job and am enjoying my time here very much.
I hope your day is well and look forward to more communication with you.
sincerely, buzz
Not flashy, but it did set the ground rules, she will come to the states, (if we are successful in our face to face encounter), I will visit in Novemeber, we have a common profession that we can discuss, she is aware of my ex-wife and how long we have been divorced, and she can look on a map to see where in the US she will live.
and her response later the same day;
HI dear buzz,
I am so happy to hear from you so soon, and happy to know you know well about the Asian, I think it will be good to our communication. Do you think so?
I think we really have a lot in common, after I graduated from the university, I was sent to the general medicine of the hospital, then because of the work needs, there is lack of middle aged doctors in pediatric residency, besides, I love children very much, so I was to be a pediatric doctor.
Now I am retired from the hospital work, and in good health, and a clinique invited me to do management work now, the work is not busy, so I have much time to be with my hobbies, it is very good to the mind and body.
My original family home is in jiang su , I came to An Shan of liaoning province with my parents in 1958 , which is the biggest steel city of china. Now my parents have passed away, but I still have sisters and brothers. We have very close relationship, family is very important to our Chinese, and it is also the most important part in the life, I pay my sinceness and love to my ex-husband, but didn't get any true love from him, which hurt me so mush, I am longing for the real family relationship and marriage full of love, I advocate the traditional virtue of the oriental lady, I wish to respect my beloved one and be respect by my beloved one. I have a good education and kind gentle, I wish to share my happiness as well as the pain with my beloved one in the future, dear gene, are you agree with me?
Now I am living with my aunt's family, which make me feel safety and happiness, after my parents passed away, I take them as my parents, and my cousins also encourage me to seek for the new love life, so I have this chance to know you here, and which gives me a very good feeling .
if we find we are the right one to both, I would like to move to USA and live with you . I am happy to know you are going to china, I wish to meet you in person, and show you to my family if you like.
I think knowing you here is a romantic experience to me , it is my first time to know a friend in another country , so I cherish it very much, wish the communication can reduce the strangeness rapidly, and know much better about both. Dear Buzz, do you like the oriental culture? look forward to hearing from you soon
Now it is very late for me write this letter, and I put the sweet longing in the letter, it is very nice talking with you. Look forward to hearing from you soon
Take care, best regards to you and your family
Sincerely yours
Xiuru
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The left hand thing is still done as far as I know, but then I know of parents in Europe who did the same with very quick succes (if you can speak of success). I don't think it will bother anyone Shaun, I'd worry more about your hair :D DOn't mind me joking about it, I have the same haircut :angel:
Voice, I will tell you like I tell the children at school, I shave my head to look like this. It is a choice. Of course I do not tell them that I do it to cut the 20+ hairs that grow straight up in the air. :icon_cheesygrin:
Rob, could be. There is an ancient Chinese method of body binding. :icon_cheesygrin: They did it so that there wouldn't be to many people on golf courses. :icon_cheesygrin: Oops. It was a Scottish method called golf course thinning.
David, now you know where the saying came, "The devil made me do it." It was from a bunch of left handers. A little know fact is that many of the great pastors are left handed. So, what happened to me you ask? ..... Well, that is another subject for another time.
Shaun
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Here is my boring letter to go along with David's. Effective, honest, and direct. So far it is doing me well. Will know this November if we are successful as a couple.
Thanks Buzz...your letter very similar in style to mine.....so at least two of us began this way :-/:-/
DavidE
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My first letters were very boring, but then I only joined in August so I'm new at this game.
But I made sure I weeded out the ladies who hadn't read my profile. I specifically mentioned they would want to live in the UK, and that I might want kids. I asked if their parents were OK with them having a western man. Important stuff.
The key to it all was to exchange a few EMFs and make them comfortable enough to divulge her address and webcam contact details.
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(1) "...I am so very sorry that I have not got back to you since I sent you a cupid not....I have been very busy and have had a terrible month, so again I apologise...."
(2) "... Yes Kathy you are right, we both came on to this site to find the 'perfect' partner for each other. Reading that you have 'read' over my profile several times tells me that you are interested, and that you have taken the time to 'perhaps' see the real person that is inside of me..."
(3) "..If we can work out I will be like you and be the same as you with all my heart, mind, body and soul. You will not have to cook everyday this is one of my favourite pastimes and would be honoured to 'cook' something really nice for you. I know that the custom of the Chinese women is to walk behind their men, however, this I would not tolerate, if you are with me then you would be by my side, I would be the proudest man in the world to have you by my side.
(4) "...Let us start and try to build a solid relationship, in which we could have a strong and nice future before us. We have possibly many questions that we would like to ask each other and like you I promise that anything you ask I will answer honest, and I will never lie to you or anyone.....Honesty is the mainstream of my life, if someone lies they are cheating no one but themselves.
(5) "... I would want to get to know my future wife really well before even going to see her in person, ... yes I would love to come to your home town to visit you, and also get to meet your family, of course before any of this we would need your parents blessing!! I believe in family values,
(6) "...Your beautiful city sounds a wonderful place, I liked what you said about beautiful Quingdao having a beautiful you he he. ..."
( 7) "...I almost forgot do you speak English? If not what language do you speak mandarin with what dialect? ..."
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Guy's
I was late in responding to Keren after her initial response to my cupid...
So I done my letter this way to show her that in me there is
(1) SINCERITY... (2) We are after the same thing... (3) CUSTOMS...I knew of her customs... (4) HONESTY... I was going to be honest and open with her... (5) POSSIBLITY OF A MEETING...That once we got to know each other, then there would be a visit... (6) I THOUGHT SHE WAS HUMOUROUS... (7) INTEREST in her
This was the only way I felt comfortable with...After the initial contact then came the 'real' information...
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I can't believe that after spotting my girl's profile I removed her from my favourites. But then she sent me an admirer letter and i realised it was meant to be :blush:.
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Greetings Brothers.
So we want to see first letters to our ladies hmm. Well I am in a similar position to Scottish Rob. My lady Zhen sent me an admirer letter and it was about 3 weeks for me to reply as I was writng to someone else at the time so here is my first letter to Zhen
Ni hao Zhen, Ni hao ma?
I would like to thank you for the letter you sent to me back in July. I apologize for not responding to you sooner.
Yes I find you to be an attractive woman, very much so . As for your inner beauty well that is a journey of exploration that we will have to embark on together so that I may find out about you and I will share more about me.
So let me begin by telling you something about me, where I am from how I think, what I feel. Then we can progress from there if what I write interests you.
I was born in Edinburgh Scotland which is part of Great Britain. I moved with my family to Canada when I was 15 years old. I have never returned to Scotland. When I finished my schooling in Canada I joined the Canadian Armed Forces and spent 12 years there, the last six as a Meteorolgical technician, in Cold Lake Alberta. Alberta is a western province in Canada. After I left the military I moved to Edmonton Alberta. Edmonton is the capital city of Alberta. I have lived here since 1989.
In April 1989 I met the woman who became my wife. We met in April became engaged in June and were married Speptember 30 1989. We had a good life as a whole although we had no children. So we decided to adopt a child. We got Emma my daughter on Nov 17 2006. Unfortunately that was also the beginning of the end for my marriage. After a few months my now EX tansferred all her love and devotion to Emma and left me out of her life. For the next 2 years she slept with Emma and we had zero physical contact from that point on, so the love we shared slowly withered and died. We are now seperated and heading to divorce. This is absolute. There is no chance for reconcilliation. I tell you this now so that you are aware of my status before things progress too far between us. It will be some time before my divorce is final.
Let me state now also that I am here to find the last love of my life. I am not here to play games, or just chat or anything like that. I am looking for the lady who will be my lifes partner until the end of time. I am a true romantic, affectionate loving man. I am honest, sincere, loving, kind, attentive partner. I will give to this lady in my life everything I have in my heart and soul for the rest of my life. This most special lady will be my equal partner in all things. We will walk hand in hand down lifes road and laugh and love together forever. I am a one woman man. I do not cheat lie smoke drink gamble. I have never hit a woman in my life and I never will.
I offer true love respect and honour to my special lady. I offer respect to her parents and family and children if she has any. I will devote my life to this woman for as long as I live. As you can see from my last marriage it does not take me long to decide that the lady is right. I commit quite quickly when I am sure of where I stand and how I feel. However as I said it will take some time for my divorce to be final. I will know who my last love is going to be before the divorce is complete. When it is done I will come to china and marry the woman I have chosen.
I do not mean to scare you with my intensity, merely to show you that I am utterly committed to this process and I will not stop until it is done. So there it is my commitment.
What attributes will this most rare of women posses to make me fall for her? Well she will be chinese. I have no doubt of that. She will be petite and beautiful both inside and out. She will be smart and funny and loving. She will be devoted to her family and her husband to be. I hope she will be romantic, definitely affectionate, love to laugh and hold hands when we walk about. I hope she can cook because I am a terrible cook lol. I hope she has a great sense of humour, is loyal devoted and loving. Mostly I hope that she will love me for who I am, and wishes to loved with utter devotion from her man. She will be treated as an equal partner with equal say in all things except matters of the home. In those matters I will bow to her judgement.
I like to be affectionate with my woman. Little touches, a kiss to back of her neck while she cooks, A touch of her hair, her shoulder her hand just to say that I am there and I love her. A warm smile and a kiss to greet the dawn.Snuggling on the couch watching movies, holding hands while we walk about town or along the shore. There are many ways I like to show affection, and I practice them diligently. I also like it when my lady returns these shows of affection.
Can I teach you the meaning of love? If you are the one for me my dear I will show you so much love your friends will be dazzled by the glow of happiness from you. Your family wiil be in awe of your beauty and happines under my care. You will wonder how you went through life without my love to shield you from harm and keep you safe and warm. Yes I will teach you about true love.
So there you are Zhen Li a little about who I am and how I think and feel. If any of this attracts you or pulls you please feel free to reply to my letter. Oh and I hope you like to read long letters because that is the only kind I send.
One last thing, if you are currently writing to other men then I apologize for intruding. I wish to communicate with a woman free to devote herself to me, so if you are committed elsewhere then accept my best wishes and I will not contact you again.
Take good care of yourself Zhen,
With regards and respect
Brian
PS feel free to ask anything you wish of me for I will tell you anything you want truthfully and honestly. No lies or games between us only the truth.
So there it my first letter to Zhen. The rest as they say is history. I am the happiest man in the world that she chose to send me her letter. Also I asked her about it and she did actually send her letter to me not the translator or agency. While it was still partly at least a form letter it was her choice to send it to me and I am truly thankful that she did.
Regards,
Zhen and Brian
PS I would post the next few letters but I am sure I would have many people cringing at the contents. However in my own defence her letters followed exactly the same thought as mine. I have never in my life communicated with any woman who so mirrored my own thought and feelings about things.
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Wow, that "one last thing" paragraph is a work of genius.
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Greetings Brothers,
Brett, thanks for that hehe I dont know where this stuff comes from most of the time it just flows out of my fingers onto the screen. However reading it again now it surely makes sense and perhaps may even help weed out those ladies talking with multiple men. It is polite and yet tells them what you want.
Oh and feel free to use it if you wish, no copyright and no royalties required hehe.
Regards,
Zhen and Brian
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Brian very very nice letter mate....and a very nice touch as Brett says...good one:icon_biggrin:
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Brian very very nice letter mate....and a very nice touch as Brett says...good one:icon_biggrin:
It was a work of :heart:
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Greetings Brothers,
Rob,Ron, Thanks for the kind words. As I said in my reply to Brett, I dont think this stuff up it just flows right out without concious thought from me. I guess it depends on who I am writing to because while the letters I wrote to the lady before Zhen were equally romantic they certainly had a different feel to them.Zhen of course has a remarkable knack for drawing the romantic out of me, but then she is at least as romantic as I am and very passionate and affectionate.
Ever since our first letters it was pretty clear we have the same view of love and romance and passion. In fact we seem to have the same view on pretty much everything. I have never had this before in my life and it sure is a welocome change. To be completely understood by the woman you love is a rare gift indeed and I do cherish her for it.
Anyway perhaps one day I will do as Rob did and give you all excerpts from our letters back and forward so everyone can see how we are together.
Regards,
Zhen and Brian
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Could the 'perhaps one day' be soon mate...
We are not getting any younger:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Could the 'perhaps one day' be soon mate...
We are not getting any younger:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Rob my friend your wish is my command. Now that I have decided to abandon Canada on favour of Zhen I will need soemething to fill in the time until I leave. So I will do just that, I will select snippits of our letters so all may see and perhaps cringe at what two hopeless romantics fill up emfs to each other with. We send at least one letter each per day, and have done right from day one. Also each letter is always full length.
SO keep your eyes peeled for my thread about love in letters. I wil start this immediately since I do not want your age to catch up with you before my posts do heheh
Regards,
Zhen and Brian
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Brian,
We all look forward to reading it .... --Mike
Greetings Brothers,
Ok guys its started in the share your love story forum under love in letters....
Regards,
Zhen and Brian