China Romance
General Discussion and Useful Links => Ask An Experienced Member => Topic started by: brett on September 20, 2009, 03:42:44 am
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Aaargh, my lady is driving me crazy over my travel plans :s.
She wants to stay in my hotel overnight. I told her it would be easier if she booked a room, as the hotel will charge me a lot more, and Expedia warn me the hotel might mess up and cancel my existing booking.
I asked my lady if she could book a room herself. But my lady doesn't seem to know how to book a hotel room, omg she drives me crazy sometimes :@. Is there a Chinese hotel booking website or protocol I can direct her to?
The hotel is $35 a night. Is this a fortune for somebody working in China or should she be able to afford that? I've told her I'll pay her back.
I might ask the agency for help, although it's a shame their 1000 miles from my lady and I guess they might charge me for it as well.
Also is there a good way of sending my lady money? Do they use Paypal in China?
Thanks!
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I think I will ask the agency to see if they can book hotels and internal flights.
I don't really want to share a room as my lady is young, not previously married, this is our first meeting and her parents might not be too impressed about it at this stage :@.
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Brett, it is very simple through Expedia to book 2 rooms side by side , and until you arrive you are just 1 of 100,000 guys on various sites saying , I am coming , you can book locally for internal flights and if your lady does this maybe but not always cheaper , oh and she probably does not know how to book in to a hotel , but with different rooms she will have to show her identity card , regards Robert .
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Brett,
First your lady is probably not going to tell her parents that you shared a room.
She will say you each had a room.
Also, I do not know the situation of your lady, but you might want to ask, if you need to send her the money - instead of saying you will pay her back.
Then based on her financial situation she can tell you what is best.
I just finished speaking with my fiancée. Depending upon when and where you travel things will start to get booked pretty fast.
I would say, It is best if she could arrange the room ahead of time. I do not know when you are traveling, but if it is any time soon, you may want to have her book things because of the holidays.
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brett
Keren booked the hotel for me. And got it cheaper she said that she would pay it, but I sent her the money, from the Uk it took 10 days by Royal Mail...
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Hmm, I'm not sure about sending my lady money. I sent a small bear two weeks ago and it's got lost in the post :@.
Sometimes I do get so annoyed with my lady though, I'm like I am going to fly halfway around the world to see you and you can't even book a hotel room? Wtf?
If this doesn't work out I'll find my next lady in somewhere that has direct flights to the UK because this has been a bloody nightmare to organise.
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Yes, paypal works in China. www.paypal.com/cn It took a week for money I sent to get into Nina's account though, so be prepared for that.
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Thanks - I will get my lady to check out Paypal. I've heard reports that it works, and others that it doesn't.
I'll also tell the agency to get some plans drawn up for when I'm out there. I think I'll just tell them when I'm coming and going and get them and the lady to sort something out. Everybody's ladies seem so good at organising things so I am a bit surprised that mine isn't handling things so well :huh:.
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Any-time i stayed over there I paid at the hotel, the booking itself was free?
The only exception to this was when I booked through hotels.com and then as long as i cancelled more than 48 hours beforehand there was no problems.
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Brett,
I bet your lady is as organized as anyone else.
You want to be prepared - but I would not make a big deal out of booking a hotel room.
Also there are two quick ways to get money to your lady.
I use Bank of America and send my lady money to take care of things. I send the money thru China Construction Bank - it takes about 2 days. Or I will send a Western Union - takes a day depending upon when I send it.
I send money ahead because I do not like the hassle of the ATMs. Although they are certainly functional.
The key to me is that I want to focus on why I am there - not worry about an ATM machine.
Also as much as I could, I would suggest working things out directly with your lady, and not the agency.
If you are at this point in your relationship.
The agency will be there to support you - but I would want to work things directly with my fiancée - the sooner the better. Because a lot can get lost in the translation of things.
Besides working through things is part of the process - seems like it could be a bear - but if you have done your homework - once you see your beautiful lady - you will know that you were focusing on the small stuff. You will laugh about the hotel, and smile to be in her presence.
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Brett,
Probably because you told her that you were booking everything thru Expedia. As i remember, that's what you were saying to your lady and us when you first stated talking about your trip to China here.
If you don't ask, then they obviously won't do anything, thinking your arranging everything....
I wouldn't involve the agency in booking hotels and things, they will take a commission on any rates they get you. Your lady will be the better bet for planning anything while your on your trip too. Only involve the agency if you hit problems over there, that your lady can't handle on her own. Which if i know Chinese ladies, ...won't be that much!! ...hahaha!!
David.....
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Hmmm, I am not certain that my lady is good at arranging things, but we will see. I think she is OK on arranging things in her home town, but away from that, maybe less so.
I suppose I could have asked a travel agent to get me flights to her home town, but it's quite a small place with few flights so I think I might have had a very long journey indeed. There's also not a lot to do in her home town so if we didn't hit it off I'd be stuck there for a fortnight. At least in Wuhan I can get stuck into the travel photography.
I think I'll send her a suggested list of ideas and get her to arrange it. I figure it will break the ice if we have a few important things to do (like find me a translator machine etc.).
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Yes, paypal works in China. www.paypal.com/cn It took a week for money I sent to get into Nina's account though, so be prepared for that.
Hi Chocolate Man. How did you manage to get money to your lady via PayPal? I tried to send money, but it seems you're not allowed to send foreign currency. I get this message:
"This recipient cannot accept foreign currencies. Please re-try with a different email address for the recipient."
What's going on?
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no clue. I've had a paypal account for a long time. I added her qq email and sent her money from my credit card. 4 days it took for her to register with paypal, then she got her money. maybe it's something to do with whatever country you're from? maybe they have different laws or deals with China?
oh, I sent Canadian dollars, not RMB, if that makes any difference.
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Thanks Choccy guy. Yes my girl has now pushed some buttons and now I can send her UK pounds. I don't know what she can do with the money though. My chinese is terrible this morning and I can't ask the right questions of her. Can Nina withdraw the money you send into her bank account or something? I think all my problems would be solved. If not I could use Western Union, but I've never used it before.
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Brett, why dont you just bring your visa or mastercard and use the atms there, its never been a problem with mine?
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Yes I can bring money when I come, but it would be useful to be able to send my lady cash to pay for occasional things. I feel bad asking for her to book hotel rooms and stuff when I haven't yet established what is considered a lot of money over there. Also I don't yet know the state of her finances, she could be good with money, or she could be like my brother and sister, who rarely have more than ten pounds in their accounts :dodgy:.
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Yeah, brett. I believe the money from paypal goes directly into her account. She said something about it taking a week, but it's so much cheaper than Western Union.
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Greetings Brothers,
Brett when I sent Zhen money I did it through western union. The money was available in china for her as soon as we finished the transaction on my end. All Zhen had to do was go into the nearest China Post office and show here id and such and it was done. I sent 500 cdn dollars which on that day was just over 3000 rmb, and I paid I think $23 for the fee.
It was quick easy and hassle free on both ends. Also I sent another thousand dollars to myself for the engagement ring and such and again no hassles and no issues on either end, so for me western union was the method of choice.
Also as far as the room goes I highly doubt that she will stay with you in the same room but anything is possible. For me Zhen said she was a traditional and virtuous woman and would not share a room with me until we married. That by the way was fine with me as thats part of what I love about her.
These ladies are always concious about what they say and do in public so try your best not to embarass her and get if figured out before you are standing at the hotel check in counter. You may not like the result if you put her on the spot.
Good luck to you
Zhen and Brian
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Thanks guys. The latest is that my lady recieved my paypal money. However she can withdraw a minimum of $90 and there is a $35 service fee. I don't know if this is a paypal fee or bank fee. I will try to discover more later :huh:.
I might stick to Western Union.
My lady is fairly traditional but even if she wasn't I would insist on separate hotel rooms.
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Brett
In the last three months I have been living here I have had 5 hotel bookings in different Cities. Some have been made on-line with chinahotels.org and some have been direct with the hotel. Not once was I asked for any deposit or payment up front before arriving at the hotel. It is normal here to pay when you arrive for as many days as you may be staying and if you have a shorter stay then they refund you the days not used without question.
I believe expedia and a couple of other western companies do ask for full payment but they take a wacking lump in commission from you and it is not easy to cancel or change any part of the itinary.
You know one of the best I stayed in was the Fu Zhou in Zhongshan - a room costs just £18.00 a night but had huge beds, western and chinese restuarants and internet access in every room and it was right in the city centre.
Willy
My lady is fairly traditional but even if she wasn't I would insist on separate hotel rooms.
Well Brett it could be that you are in for a surprise!
I have not met one lady here yet who fits the demure, butter would not melt in their mouth look and lives up that image. late 20's, 30's, 40's they have all taken a lead in making it clear what they want and when they want it. And I am not talking about food!! Traditional would appear to me to mean that she will not want to sleep with you until she is thinking that MAYBE you are the man for her. This can take anything from 6 hours to 3 days.
Or maybe that is just the result of my charm and suave personality.
Willy
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Don't use paypal to send money if the person is in another country beside Canada or United States. The fees are really high. Western Union is good if you have to send money to them under 1,000. If you need to send more the 1,000 use a bank or currency exchange place their fees are usually lower.
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Willy,
I'm afraid very few on the Forum believe you, about Chinese women!!.. They are still of the opinion that they are these demure, delicate, butter wouldn't melt in there mouth, Ladies. Well, that wasn't the case while i was there, and from what your saying, is still not the case NOW!! But i think you are right about personalities, i think that probably plays a big part in relationships moving on to the next level.
This basic idea of the ladies demure, may have been somewhat true 20+ years ago or so, But they fail to realise that the whole of China has moved on by leaps and bounds since those days. Some say that the Chinese ladies have led sheltered lives!! ...No-one in China has led a sheltered life, they just wouldn't have survived if they had, everyone in China knows or is very aware what's going on around them...
When you think, that just 20+ years ago, Beijing City centre was practically, dead as the proverbial door nail after 11.30 -12 at night. ...Now it's as alive as any City in the western world, ....with a 24 hour hussel and bustle of never ending life!!
David.....
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Your dead right David.
My experience is that Chinese ladies of all ages want you to take the lead. If you do not they will think that either you are not interested in them or you are not manly enough to look after them.
Do not leave it for days until you take her hand. The sooner the better - you will soon know if she feels ok with that. Kissing is also ok in private. Although my latest will kiss me good bye and give me pecks in public, long kisses are for private. You will soon know how far you can go and what you can do as they certainly know the word NO if your trying something they are not ready for or prepared to do.
With divorced ladies and those that have had long term relationships be prepared for an onslaught. These have had pent up emotions for many years following divorce where the only relief, has been on hand, so to speak, so do not be taken by suprise by their willingness to jump into bed after a a few pasionate kisses. They are not being loose they are being women with a need.
Willy
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Wow, Gee willy, I had no idea you were that experanced with them. I'll have to really think of you as a lady's man. I have always wondered what the divorced women do for sex. I figured it was like out west here, they find a boyfriend. But stupid me forgetting this is a different culture and the women are very different, nothing like the western women. The divorce woman there does nothing for sex at all till she meets her price charming? Wow, that's an awful lot of pent up women. I guess the hunting is good there....lol ...good thing they don't have their finger on the "button".
Also Willy, one more question, in your time limit of 3 hours to 3 days, where would the divorced woman fall as far as time, and where would the divorce woman with children fall in this catagory?:huh:
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My own 'limited' experience is that three days is plenty. I know one or two on here will not agree, because of their convictions, but after three days if we have not consuminated our relationship then we are unlikely to in the near future and so I put them on the back boiler and move on.
I find those with younger children take much longer to consider whether too or not. Whereas those who have been divorced for a long time and whose children are now at college or finished education are in a much greater rush to just be in someones arms again. And for those a one night stand within hours of the first meeting can sometimes last for a couple of days. I remember the words of Ernie the fastest Milkman - 'A womans needs are many fold' .
I am not saying this happens in every case. It is just my experience and I have only been turned down on one occasion but in contrast I have turned down approaches from women down who were too young. I do have some scruples.
Willy