China Romance
General Discussion and Useful Links => The Campfire => Topic started by: Scottish_Rob on November 13, 2009, 07:18:54 am
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Hello guys.
I have not been online for a few days, thought I would give you a bit of a break from my Scottish weird humour hahaha.
Seriously though, I have sold my computer and now got a laptop for my new life abroad. The computer I sold was a desktop and got £150.00 for it with my desk and chair. With the proceeds i bought a second hand laptop for £50.00 from a friend, who knows everything there is to know about computers. So that left me with some more spare money to go with.
The hotel is booked and paid fora month so I have that length of time to find myself work. As you know the job in Hnadan fell through for 3 months, so I was not as despondent as I hought I would be. the reason for this is 3 fold. (1) I was always in touch with the university in Rizhao
(2) I had sent off other cv's to many places
(3) I had irons in the fire in Qingdao with an agency.
So to update you, the University in Rizhao wnated me to send a scanned picture of my passport, but I could not get one so I sent an email telling them this, and offered to go there to see them on either 18/19/20th. This morning I got a reply telling me that was fine and just to phone them the day before I go. Secondly, I also recieved another email from the Qingdao end, asking me if I would accept offers from outside of Qingdao also, which of course I replied. So things are not as #bad# as at first seems. People have been telling me on here, as one door closes another one opens, and they were right.
I have 36 hours remianing her in the uk, and have got everything sorted this end concerning the house etc. I have everything packed that I need correctly weighted. I have things from the Uk I am taking with me incase as the next logical STEP, females haha. the main priority now though is getting myself soted with work and a place to live before venturing into the minefield which is 'WOMEN'. although I am still writting to YuanShu.
I will update you as I continue my journey, now that I have the laptop life will be so much easier.
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Hi Rob,
I was wondering where you were, having not seen you on here for a while, but guessed you were busy getting things done. Good luck with your new life and hope all goes well for you. I don't know what your teaching experience is but you can find plenty of ideas and advice by checking on esl/efl teacher websites. Like this brotherhood there will always be somebody out there who can help you if needed.
No matter how much research you do and how well you try and prepare yourself for where you are going, you will still get hit by the culture shock, ( the WOW! factor ), it is then that your amazing journey begins.
I am happy for you mate and am sure you will enjoy the experience.
All the best.
Mark
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All the best rob hope it all works out for you mate.
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Rob , I also wish you the best of Luck . May good fortune's and love hit you slowly ... but all within that one month's time .:icon_cheesygrin:
You have yourself a good flight and experience beyond your dreams . Go Cowboy and don't forget your Bagpipes .
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Best of luck Rob. It will be a new adventure on life. There's a good chance I'll be there in the spring. So I'll make inquiries later on. :icon_cool:
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Rob , good luck and god speed , we will be watching for your postings from the happy land , Ying and Robert .
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All the very best to you Rob.... Enjoy your adventure in China, there are soooo many things and places to see. Just keep in touch mate, ....especially with those that are already living out there, they are the one's that can guide you, when you need some advice....
Have an Exciting life.....
David.....
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Best of luck to you Rob, happy travels n don't forget the tablet n haggis, as i did'nt see any in the supermarkets there....:icon_cheesygrin:
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Good luck to you Rob
I am looking forward to hear your adventures as time progresses!!
David
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Good luck to you Rob. As they keep saying. Everything happens for a reason. I think your priorities are right. Get yourself set then go after the women. There are plenty there mate. we are here for you.
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Good luck man. I really hope you do find what you're looking for over there.
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See you soon mate! have a good flight and by the way the snow has stopped!:icon_cheesygrin:
Ming Zhi,Paul
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Rob,
You the man! Good luck and I hope the best for you. Keep us all updated. Leave a trail of bread crumbs for me so I can follow the path should I find the right one and go.
Shaun
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Well Rob your sporen's packed so have a great trip. At least you will be comfortable on the journey.
Give us a call when you get over here.
Don't forget - if you move out of the hotel before the end of the month they should be refunding any days you do not use.
If you are bringing a mobile with you try to get it unlocked in the UK so you can use a Chinese sim card when you get here.
Willy
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Thanks for all the good wishes guys..
All the informationthat all you guys have postedthroughout the site, I have taken on board. and believe me (lol) I will USE IT if Ineed too..:icon_biggrin:
I have a notebook with many snetences in Pinyin (in case)
I have the name of a translator machine I recieved from Ming Zhi
I have all the phone numbers and email/yahoo addresses of you guys
I have addresses of collegs/schools etc in and around Qingdao...just in case:icon_cheesygrin:
If there is anything I have forgotton or unable to pack because of the wight restriction, then they will have to wait to be reunited with their master :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
I can only repeat what has been said numerous times throughout this site, you are the best bunch of guys I have known. Your knowledge, intelligence, outgoing personalities and helpful attitude has helped many of the guys on here now, and will do so agqain in the future.
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Greetings Brothers,
Rob, too bad things fell through with Handan i think you would have liked it there. Also did you get in contact with Joyce at Linkesl? She will keep looking for you to get you a position until you accept one so she is a very good resource at no cost to you.
Also as always if there is anything Zhen or I can do feel free to ask and we can see what we can do. As you say when one door closes over here at least on more opens so I think you should do fine. Just be prepared for absolutely everything to be different than in England and you should be fine. Look at it as an adventure and not a search for a new life and lady and things will work out. I think the hardest thing is going to be the language. Its tough to speak to store clerks and such when they speak no english, although I have had help from passing people who spoke a little english trying to help out. They really are a friendly and helpful people.
Also remember all the advice about the water. Do not drink or even brush your teeth with the tap water. Drink bottled or boil water in your apartment and then bottle it from empty bottles you have used. That way you alway have some water that is safe. The last thing you want is to get sick before you get set up with a job. Also I hope you remembered to get in touch with your bank and tell them not to block your cards when you are in china.
Also from my experience, when you use a bank machine use a bank of china one if you can. While some of the other banks can be used, the allowed limit of cash is lower than the bank of china. Since you pay a fee when you withdraw from them it makes sense to withdraw the maximum you can and only pay one fee instead of taking out several smaller amounts and paying the same fee several time. All the bank of china machines I have used give you an english language option so banking is easy.
Also I hope you dont get too much culture shock from the apartments here. While they are often the same size as you may be used to they do not have central heat or ovens and in fact Zhen cooks almost everything in the wok and uses one pot for making soup type dishes, and of course the rice steamer. No roast beef or turkey for you but let me say Zhen is a marvel in the kitchen. Even the simplest ingredients turn into a fine tasty meal, and I never ate chinese in my life until I came here. The only things I really miss is decent coffee and real milk. While my local supermarket has milk like I am used to it seems its always past dated, so make sure you also check the expiry dates on products before you buy. Real coffee like I am used to in Canada I have not seen yet although there is apparently a huge wal mart here which is an american store so there is hope still. while on the subject of coffee i discovered there is not even a Starbucks here, while they are everywhere in Beijing and Handan. Weird.
So anyway best of luck on your leap of faith and hope to see some positive updates soon.
Sincerely,
Zhen and Brian
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Good luck Rob, have a safe journey, watch your wallet!
Brian, I didn't know they had coffee in North America ^_^ Star-who? Hehe, no seriously, go to an appliances shop there, you'll find plenty of coffee machines. There is one brand (Wanshida) that copied the expensive Jura Swiss espresso machines, whole beans and water and press a button, the result is excellent. I was going to import these but couldn't because of patent infringement :D. They're expensive though, about US$ 200, but better than the original at 700€. You should find coffe (ground or beans) in any large supermaket, the French chain Carrefour for instance if there is one where you are.
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Well guys I went and gone and did it.................I'M HERE IN CHINA.....And too be honest I never thought I would do it, I was so scared of starting up again, but, I'm here now so I am doing it and going to live the dream hopefully...
I started my trip at midnight on Saturday night, my mate Davie who I have known for 30 odd years drove me to Manchester airport. He done this at this time because I thought my flight was at 6am, but you've guessed it, it wasn't til 8am so I had an extra long night in the airport lounge:huh: I found some of the airport workers to be unhelpful:huh: As this was my really first flight I expected to be lead bt the hand through the different stages, but that ws not how it was done. I got to Heathrow, London at just after 9 and my next flight was at 11.30 on Sunday morning which was taking me to Hong Kong. Then I had another 3 hour stop over before my final plane trip to Qingdao.
when I was in London I suddenly thought, these planes are enormous, we fill them up with fuel, passengers (all sizes and shapes) and their bags and cases.. A question came to my mind HOW THE FECK do they TAKE OFF...It is certainly a miracle??? While in London waiting for the plane i got talking to a young lady from Beijiing and we had a right laugh together. While in Hong Kong I got chatting to a lady from Jinan and we exchanged phone numbers and email addresses. God I'm just out my home country and I've picked up a phone number already, so it looks good:icon_cheesygrin:
Once I was flying into Qingdao, my first reaction was I saw how large the place was, I though...WOW what the feck have I let myself in for...it has taken me from Midnight Saturday til 1.40 on Monday to get here, I am exhausted but in good shape sort of!!1Anyway I was a little apprehensive in case there was no one at the airport to pick me up. But this was not the case, Jennifers sister and husband were there to meet me. They had paid and organised a hotel for me, which has also got a computer and internet free, so this is good.
While we were driving to the hotel Jennefer phoned her sister an asked to speak to me. We are meeting up at 11 tomorrow and they are taking me for lunch, and then going to her office to be shown around, so that is quite good. In the car on the way to the hotel I kept getting all the reminders of what the guys were saying about the driving, haha and they are right!!! Wht I really did not expect to find was the WOW factor so early on. My first reaction to the place is, i could not live here, especially after seeing all the work thats going on all over Qingdao, and at the apparent poorness of the people. it reminded me of some slums in Glasgow. But I'm sure I will get over my initial shock. Haha two people walked into each other when I was out getting water and some shopping today, you guessed it, they were staring at me and banged into each other, so I laughed my head off, and the thoughts came back to me about what the giuys had said about people starting at you.
Any way, I'm now going to see if I can get a sleep now befor going out for some DUMPLINGS later...
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While in London waiting for the plane i got talking to a young lady from Beijiing and we had a right laugh together. While in Hong Kong I got chatting to a lady from Jinan and we exchanged phone numbers and email addresses. God I'm just out my home country and I've picked up a phone number already, so it looks good. Haha two people walked into each other when I was out getting water and some shopping today, you guessed it, they were staring at me and banged into each other, so I laughed my head off,.
Welcome rob, , I think Qing dao is very cold now ,isn't it ?
See, so many funny thing happen to you although you just arrive China. I wish you have a good time in China !
Chen Yan
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Great read Rob, keep the updates coming. also try some "baozi" if you can, you can get small ones in the restaurants and big ones in most of the convenience stores, they are a bit like dumplings except round and are steamed. Absolutely fabbo! Looking forward to reading your updates as you write them.
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Welcome to China , Rob , from now on enjoy the sights and sounds of your new home , regards Ying and Robert
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So Rob I get a text from London Heathrow and one from Hong Kong and then what happens. You are so concerned with taking over my vacant title and collecting phone numbers that you don't call again. LOL
To be honest I was not sure if you would ever make it and I wonder really if your hiding away in Barrow in Furness, changed your clock to China time and giving us a run down from what has been said in past months. (Where the hell is Barrow in Furness )
Oh dear another conspiracy theory on its way.
Seriously Rob I am glad you have joined us in the Middle Kingdom. It is all Obama at the moment but now they have the Rob!!! ( I bet Obama has not taken the numbers of as many women as you have?LOL ) Anyway we know who is more important to us.
It has been a long, and at times, harrowing road my friend but you can start living that dream from today.
And just remember - make it work cos its a bloody long walk back to UK from here.
Willy
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I hate to go off subject here as it is something I almost never do. Willy, is it possible since you know no strangers especially in China that you could keep Obama occupied there a while until we can the economy straightened out. The would would thank you for it?
Shaun
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willy sorry I never got back to you. I tried phoning tonighht because I needed your sinvery tongue but I had to wait until I was back at hotel to top up...LOL
I went out to look for a bar or pub and got ZILCH ended up at KTV asked almost everyone if they spoke English an could point me in the right direction hahahaha Got many a laugh from those midddle Kingdom peole that cannot speak any English hahahaha
Ended up having 3 bottles of Qindao (famous) beer and had a nice time with a young lady singing for ages...her,... not me...hhahaha
Got an email this morning that I never knew about until tonight. Will be going to teahc for a day ina school inQingdao, will know more tomorrow so here is hoping.
Seriously tho I have only been here hours and i am a stranger in a strange place, BUT I love it!!!
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Rob,
Glad you made it there safely and enjoying yourself. It is OK to come out from under the bed now, the coast is clear. :icon_cheesygrin:
I am waiting to hear more and hope all goes beyond your wildest dreams.
Shaun
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I'm glad you made it there. I knew it was the first time you were leaving your country but I didn't know it was the first time you were flying? It's been to many years since my first flight so it's hard to remember what I thought at the time? The first time out of my country I do remember and flying into a small French island in the Caribbean. When you said the poverty you saw reminded me of the same. But I made the best of it and met many people including a couple of actors that were big at the time. It was mostly Americans there and yet every time I turned around she was there? (actress)
So you never know.
It's all fresh and new now but in a few weeks you'll feel like you belong.
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Blimey , next thing we will be reading is that Rob is turning Muslim so he can marry 4 pretty Chinese women haha , thumbs up from us , regards Ying and Robert .
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My Scottish buddy , have you brought the Pipes ? These were to protect you of un-wanted situations .
So happy for you , to have made this leap of Faith . You are going to be a changed Man from now on ... China does that to you , right from the start .haha
I'm so waiting for further ( good ) news . Best of Luck !
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Rob, you impress me! First flight, first new continent ... China is not the closest to Western culture! I'm glad you're enjoying it, you should write a diary, it will probably be worth publishing later!
Good luck, have fun, go get them!
A true admirer,
Frank
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Hi guys.
The reason I am writing this now is because I am not able to sleep at the moment, too much excitement...so thought I would give you a little snippet of some of the things that happened to me on my first day.:dodgy:
Well as you know I have the hotel booked, the hotel looks quite nice all PINK/SALMON in colour on the outside (LOL) and is called J66 Motel, Changyilu. The room is very basic but nice and clean and surprise surprise, I have a western toilet:icon_cheesygrin:. Everything I need is there, television (Chinese:huh:), kettle, computer, leather couch and bed, hehe no woman yet, but give me time eh Willy :angel:
Well I walked about the place no going far and spoke to a few people, they were all very helpful in their own way, all I could do was laughwhen I realised they could not understand what I was trying to convey. MUST GET A TRANSLATOR MACHINE TODAY.
I kept asking people if they knew where a bar or pub was, finally it dawned on me to ask for a KTV place and I was promptly shown where THAT was... I don't drink but decided that I must try the Qingdao beer, so I drank 3 bottles and felt quite merry lol. It cost 8 yuan (80 pence) a bottle, and 29 Yuan (2.90 pence) for the room for an hour, where you play the music and sing or not. Anyway this lady came in and asked me what music I wanted to hear, I let her decide. However, I did ask her to play Wo ai ni :icon_biggrin: We got chatting I told her my name etc and my age 52, she told me she was 21, the waiter said he was 24 (we wrote these down) I scrubbed out HIS age and wrote 34 he walked out in a huff (but laughing) and she laughed her head off, so this was a good start. Maybe they cannot understand your language or you theirs, but with hand signals and expressions things are known between each other. This was the place I encountered Chinese toilets, although not used it for a dump yet...
It came to me that everytime I asked for somewhere, they always wanted me to get food!!! They thought I was asking for that, I made hand signals like drinking and gurgling and mentioned Qingdao beer, they seemed to click on
Tomorrow (or today) should be interesting haha.
Welcome rob, , I think Qing dao is very cold now ,isn't it ?
See, so many funny thing happen to you although you just arrive China. I wish you have a good time in China !
Chen Yan
Yes Chet it is cold but not as cold as the UK...lol
arnold,
yes I intend having a good time. The place will change me thats for sure...
Vince I never realised just how poverty stricken this country is, and I don't think you will do until you come her and see for yourself, but on saying that they seem happy and contented with their lot in life.
Ronan, hehe today is the day for dumplings and those you mentioned hehe
Blimey , next thing we will be reading is that Rob is turning Muslim so he can marry 4 pretty Chinese women haha , thumbs up from us , regards Ying and Robert .
Robert...ONLY 4....I wish lol:icon_cheesygrin:
Frank thanks for that mate, maybe who knows, it will be included in my book thats for sure...
Shaun MOI under the bed...YOU must be thinking of someone else hahahaha
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Rob, after 3 beers I was not sure. :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
I am glad alls is well.
Mike good to see you writing. I must update you later. Reading around you'll get it anyway.
Shaun
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Nice to hear from you last night Rob.
Do not try to tell me that you have not found women yet because I am not sure but there seemed to be a lot womens voices in the background. Just how many did you pick up and take home last night???
Well you have now flown to a great country on your first flight.. Of course it is not the first that you have travelled to a great country. You did find your way to England!!!!
Do not spend 8 yuans on that beer - you can buy it cold in shops for 3.5 yuan or was it the womens company you were after.
Willy
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Rob,
Enjoying reading your posts. And admire you for "taking the bull by the horns" (so to speak) and starting a new life in China.
But, I am confused as to who Jennifer is. I know you mentioned her before in this thread, but is she someone you knew before?
Or the owner of an agency? Just trying to keep your story straight. In my mind at least. Everyone else seems to know already. ha
Good Luck and keep the faith!
Don
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Rob,
Enjoying reading your posts. And admire you for "taking the bull by the horns" (so to speak) and starting a new life in China.
But, I am confused as to who Jennifer is. I know you mentioned her before in this thread, but is she someone you knew before?
Or the owner of an agency? Just trying to keep your story straight. In my mind at least. Everyone else seems to know already. ha
Good Luck and keep the faith!
Don
Don
Jennifer is the agency boss, who I had words with concerning my complaint to Chnlove about Keren keeping me on emf's for 11 months finally splitting with me because of her father's inability to cope with a smaller man for his daughter (Ithink...lol).
She was angry with me because of my complain, she assumed I complained about the AGENCY when I complained about Keren!!!
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Hi Rob,
I have not had time to read here much latley but thought you must be over there now. I hope you have a great trip and i enjoyed reading and getting up to date with you so far. I know what you mean about those planes. I left Indy for Chicago on some thing more like a tin can and wasnt sure i could do this. Then in Chicago got on a 747-400 and thought this is BIG. When they opened up those engines to start down the runway i was scared to death but thought this is awsume at the same time. Now i am looking forward to doing it again. Also I took over a couple simple gifts for my translator but nothing was said about it at all. I even gave them to her at the agency. She is still working there i talked to her yesterday. haha
Kenny
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because of her father's inability to cope with a smaller man for his daughter (Ithink...lol).
forget about---> Keren!!!
Rob,
Your too good of a man, for her! You will find a much better lady than her!!! You took the leap, now just have some....faith!;)
Jim
Thanks biggy, I was just mentioning her to Don..
But we did know that I did need some answers when I got here, probably won't get them, but NOW I don't really care..
I will find some lady here that is a fact. There is TOO many beautiful ladies here for me not to get hooked again :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Rob,
Glad to hear you made it !!!!! I will have to post for you the place where I got coffee ..... it was not too far from the hotel ...
Starbucks was a bit of a hike by comparison...
Hope you enjoy your stay there .... and stay away from the 6th floor!!! LOL
just kidding ,......
here are some pictures from my trip ....
Good Luck Rob, and thanks for the updates .... reminds me of my trip to there...
Mike O.
Hello Mike, are you traveling in Fujian province now ? The name of the road looks like my hometown.
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Ok Rob. Thanks. I'm up to date now. :icon_cheesygrin: I can't wait until I visit China again. The way its going with the ladies I have been talking to, I may end up just picking an agency and meeting ladies when I am there. Nobody said this would be easy!:-/
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Ok Rob. Thanks. I'm up to date now. :icon_cheesygrin: I can't wait until I visit China again. The way its going with the ladies I have been talking to, I may end up just picking an agency and meeting ladies when I am there. Nobody said this would be easy!:-/
Hahaha That's so true mate..
That's exactly what I am going to do but first things first, work to get sorted lol!! There re enough for us all here...lol:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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zook144,
I think you will be pleasantly surprised going this way about things. The best thing is that you will be on face to face terms from the start, and secondly you wont have any doubt's about wondering if your talking to your lady or the translator, like so many others here....
Just a couple of suggestions... Try to meet up with a lady that has at least some English, can't tell you how much of a difference that will make to having a successful relationship. Get her email addresses from her before you leave, her agency account email address and her private address, along with any IM addresses such as QQ, Yahoo, MSN. At least then, when you return, you won't be paying for EMF's, and you'll have direct access from day 1!!
Not to mention all the other possible advantages, it could and should be quite an interesting trip Zook, ...hahaha!!
David.....
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Yes David, definite advantages I think. Unfortunately, I will not be able to go until after 1st of the new year because of work obligations. All i need to do is figure out which city has the most beautiful ladies. :icon_wink: I don't want to hijack Rob's thread, so maybe i should start a new one about where to find said ladies! If there isn't already one listed. I'm sure everyone has very strong opinions on this.
Sorry Rob, now back to your new life.
Don
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I mentioned to Jennifer about me having some presents for the translator and she almost flew off the handel. "They do not get presents I will fire them if they do" I mentioned Yuiki (translator) by name and thereseemed to be a blank expression come across Jennifers face? Now I may be looking to deep into this but, WHY NOT???? it is only polite to have something for this translator who I have been in contact with these last months!! Am I right in thinking this guys?
Rob - gifts to an employee is not condoned by many bosses. In restuarants it is instant dismissal to take a tip. They want everyone to be treated the same. Tipping and gifts can make a person provide you with a better service than a person who has not given a tip or gift.
Willy
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Willy , that is a bit of a conundrum , I give my fiancee gifts and she gives me excellent service haha .:angel:
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Rob - gifts to an employee is not condoned by many bosses. In restuarants it is instant dismissal to take a tip. They want everyone to be treated the same. Tipping and gifts can make a person provide you with a better service than a person who has not given a tip or gift.
Willy
It's funny you mentioned that willy because that was the reason she gave me, and she did say intant dismissal...will you pm me your FULL phone number willie I got my sim card today, I tried phoning your mobile and it said I dont have the FULL number...
Well guys this morning Irang the company about going for interview, one was arranged at 12.30, so I went to the office to get them to take me there. Once inside the building which was huge, I asked what floor the company was on and no one knew, I must have been at the front desk for about 35 minutes:huh: I eventually went up in the lift and checked the offices myself, guess what, I found it.
Anyway we went to the language school and I done a demo class for about 40 minutes. Just my luck 5 mins ago I got the phone call saying I was unsuccessful:s But no matter there are plenty more schools I will apply to. We cant all be msterbrains and handsome (1 out of 2 aint bad for me:icon_cheesygrin:)
After my class I went to the agency office, I met all the translators and spoke to the one I used so all was cool. She apparently was gutted when it happened and told me she "tried her best to talk her out of the decision", and said "thank all your friends for my busy days:huh:" hahaha. Anyway once in the office Choo (who is a chef) cooked lunch for us all (except the translators), so Jennifer and I got talking and decided that the most important thing at the moment was work and apartment, before looking for ladies, which I agreed with.
We then went into town to do some shopping and go to the bank to make sure I had money in:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin: After the bank I went and bought a phone and simcard which I can now use over here.:angel: Here i my number for those who may want it when in China 152 532 473 51. so now I came back to the hotel and going to rest, sleeping has not been the easiest thing I've been able to do. Arrangments have been made for me to go back to the office tomorrow and then go out some sight seeing, wher I should be able to take some pictures. Apparently Julie, Jennifers sister told me in confidance that Jennifer likes me a lot, "You are not what she expected, your a fun guy she said". It certainly looks that way to me, she IS bending over backwards to help me in any way, which of course I am thankful for. It seems like my opinion has changed since yesterday.
Oh guys another thing I forgot to mention, on the way to the company, i saw an old man being run down, he was on a bike cutting across from pavement to pavement and a little van put him up in the air. Not sure if he ws badly hurt, he did look dazed:@ I said from the start that this place was an accident waiting to happen:s
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Greetings Brothers,
Too bad about the job prospect but as you say there are plenty of more where that came from. Also have you been in contact with Joyce from linkesl? She will keep trying until you accept a position so let her help you if she can. She keeps in touch after the job starts too just to make sure everything works out. Nice lady.
Also I seem to have missed something here but who is Jennifer? Oh and as far as gifts to the translators, well once again the Handan agency is different. Both trips to china I have taken a gift specifically for Una our translator and both Daniel and Echo (the owners) were fine with it so once again for every rule.... Granted it was only chocolate but still. Besides I am sure she shared it with the other translators, tehy all seem to be very close with each other and the ladies they help. Great agency.
Also Rob if you like I can ask at work if the organization my school belongs to is hiring, they apparently have schools in many cities and I think I read they are the biggest private language company in China. Let me know what you think. Also on the subject of school it seems I am the only native english teacher here so there is definitely hope for those who do not have english as a first language to find teaching positions in china.
Anyway good luck with the job search and a little sightseeing wont hurt either. It seems the less we pursue the goal the easier it is to catch sometimes.
Good luck,
Zhen and Brian
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He he ok guys WHO was the SMARTASS who mentioned taking a SUIt to China....LOL
I wish I had taken the advice of those who said NOT TOO... Yesterday for my interview/demo class I got all suited, tied and booted. And the amount of people who stared at me was horrendous, it brought more stares than my BLOODY height....LOL
Although I felt all neat and tidy and smart, I did feel a TAD overdressed...ROFLMAO
Not got a translation machine yet, BUT believe me..THIS IS A MUST GET ITEM WHEN OVER HERE
It's that, it's not being able to explain to the ladies how I like my sex...lol
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It's that, it's not being able to explain to the ladies how I like my sex...lol
ROFLMAO :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Here I thought , you explain afterward's ?
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it's not being able to explain to the ladies how I like my sex...lol
What's the problem? Mimic, mimic a dog you have the doggie, mimic riding a horse you have the ponyride and a turtle on it's back you have the missionary? SO?? :icon_cheesygrin:
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It certainly looks that way to me, she IS bending over backwards to help me in any way,
No Language problem there then mate!!! Thats what I want to hear from the man taking over my Viagra crown!!!
Willy
Willy , that is a bit of a conundrum , I give my fiancee gifts and she gives me excellent service haha .:angel:
Bit different for me mate. She gives me gifts and she also gives me excellent service!!!:icon_cool: OOOPPPS Not yours I mean mine. :angel:
Willy
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LOL Rob draw pictures stick men or women you will get your message across?:icon_cheesygrin: Maybe you need to get that transator machine before you get into some real trouble lol. Glad to see things are going good. Ron
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LOL Rob draw pictures stick men or women you will get your message across?:icon_cheesygrin: Maybe you need to get that transator machine before you get into some real trouble lol. Glad to see things are going good. Ron
To late - he has just called me - he stopped a women and she just happened to have a electronic translator and she showed him the shop and he has her telephone number.
Well I never tried that pick up. I think I have a lot to learn from the wee jock!!!LOL
Willy
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Rob wow we are going to have to change your name to slick Willy.Good job.The only thing I can think of right now is.When you are with a lady yes let her do all the negoiations on the price of things.You want or need.There are 2 prices in China.The price for the Chinese people and the price for the rest of the world.
When these women get to negotiating a price for for something it is really something to see.
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Way to go Rob,
How long have you been here? and your already being picked up in the street!:icon_biggrin: You've got them doing your shopping and paying your bus fare ! What next !:angel: bet that doesn't happen too often in Barrow '. hehe hehe Have a great night.
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Way to go Rob,
How long have you been here? and your already being picked up in the street!:icon_biggrin: You've got them doing your shopping and paying your bus fare ! What next !:angel: bet that doesn't happen too often in Barrow '. hehe hehe Have a great night.
Paul, I tried calling you on my new phone and Chinese Sim Card..but won't let me through..:huh:.I had the same when I phoned Willie..:huh:He had to call me!!!:icon_biggrin:
Bloody right it dont...hahaha :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin: As you know if anything, YOU have to do the shopping and pay for EVERYTHING for them...hahaha
been practising with my new machine...IT'S BRILLIANT...I'm having so much fun:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Hi Rob,
Nice to read about your adventures and of your 'chance' encounter, this may open up some doors for you. Too bad about the demo class but it is an experience you can learn from. One idea is to approach 'English program' schools and / or language centres and ask if you can 'sit in' on a class ( with the instructors permission ) as an observer. You will see what goes on and get an idea of what they are looking for. It is invaluable and can only be to your advantage. Maybe you can chat with the class instructor afterwards, this could be a goldmine of information and useful tips etc. It is easier said than done but worth a try. It can be a bit daunting but your world is starting to open up as you settle in and the WOW factor is still rolling. I do not know what your plans are but while you are in Qingdao you can look at schools, flats / apartments and places to go to. I do not know if you have this website already but you can get lots on information from www.thatsqingdao.com it has lists of esl schools, language centres, colleges, universities, flat rentals ( 1200RMB up ), watering holes and a map. Anyway I hope this post will be useful to you so good luck and happy hunting.
Mark
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Rob , now you really are cruzin , regards Ying and Robert .
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Greetings Brothers,
Rob, that was a good story, glad you are having fun. Just remember when using your translator to keep the language simple and the sentence short, and also use proper grammar. If you skip words it gets confused. Also remember that english to chinese works quite well but chinese to english can be a real problem. So if someone writes a reply and it makes no sense remeber the old I do not understand bu mein bai?? and ask them to do it again. They will catch on quickly and its lots of fun talking with a ttranslator if you are not in a hurry.
As for the stares you will get used to it. I find its mostly ladies and teenagers who stare so often a wave and or a smile really gets them smiling back.
Sincerely,
Zhen and Brian
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Hi you lovely people, today all is right in the world...:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Last night after I came off the computer I went for a shower etc because I had arrangements that I was sure could not be broken!!!;-) At 7.40 I left to go to the Bank of China where I first met Anne, to meet her again as this was where we decided would be the best place to meet. I got ther at ten to the hour and we had said 8pm. To be honest I never really expected her to turn up, I could not in my lifetime think I could be that lucky. 8 O'Clock went and at 10 past the hour I heard from across the street "Rob...Rob" So as I felt there would not be that many Rob's in Qingdao I thought it must be me? So I glanced across to me left and there she was waving to me. Well my heart ws in my mouth but the biggest smile you would ever see went across my face.:icon_cheesygrin:
She crossed the road and apologised for her lateness, "Bus was late, so sorry" she said but as you men know it's a Ladies perogative to be late, so I said "it was ok, was not waiting long" :sleepy: I asked what she would like to do. She was unsure so asked her if she had eaten and suggested to go for some food. We walked about 5 minutes away from where we were (sorry guys not sure of the street names yet) and Anne pointed to this little restaurant, so we went in and Anne asked the waiter if there was a table available, he nodded and promptly showed us to one. Apparently the restaurant is called Meingzhi. Not the usual seafood place but a nice 'normal' one all decked out in red and gold. She ordered some tea for us, and we got chatting. Her name is Yinglau Chung, she is 41, 1 son aged 5 and divorced and is 5 feet 2 inches tall (Not that this matters). Her language is good because she went to university in Jinan, although she was born and raised in Qingdao. She has a masters degree in Accounting and has (with her best friend May) a retail business in clothes. I can't remember the name of their shop, she did tell me but I have forgotten.
As time wore on she waved to the waiter that we were ready to order. This was funny because the waiter kept coming up and asking if we wanted to order and she kept shoo'ing him away and saying something in Chinese haha. I think if my memory serves me well, it was something like "F..k Off, can't you see I'm trying to get into him" :icon_cheesygrin: lol. any way she ordered some seafood, eel's it looked like and then a peppered pork, I had some noodles with chicken, and some pork ballls in like a barbiecue sauce. Very tasty, we also had some fruit drinks, as she does not drink she said. the night proggressed swimmingly and it was about 11.30 when we left the restaurant.
I asked if she had to go home and she replied with a giggle "Bu..No", well at that I was delighted, so I then mentioned it would be nice to go to the seafront, so she grabbed my arm and we started walking to one. Ha ha don't forget guy's I'm lost when I'm just around the corner from my hotel haha:icon_biggrin:. So we walked for about 15 minutes turning corners to the left and right nd crossing many bloody roads. We finally got ther and the weather was chilly but not too much, we stood at the railing looking out into the sea and started telling each other our life stories. Just before we left I pulled her to me and sneaked a kiss on the cheek to thank her for a lovely night, she turned her head towards me and returned the compliment to the lips. Just the one or dozen not sure I was in heaven:icon_cheesygrin:. As it was about 2.45 we decided to head home, we got 2 taxis to pull up at the same time, she told my driver my address gave me another (lingering) kiss. So I put her in her car and I got into mine and they pulled away together, hers passed mine and as I looked out the window I saw her waving to me. I know you cannot put a cost on something like this, but the money I spent to come here in the first place, will never be enough to pay for last nights experience.:heart:
I have not been able to sleep a wink all night thinking about the whole day's experience...If heaven is anything near to this day, then I'm in it...:angel:
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I am so happy for you Rob. It was touching to read your post. Good luck mate.
Shaun
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Glad to here things are going so well Rob,keep this up and we'll all be packing
up and heading out to china,just need a job now to make your dream come true.
Better be quick though you might find all the guys here jumping in front of you,whilst
your wooing your new lady,hehe
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keep us updated on how things go
interesting turn of events
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Wonderful story Rob! Keep it up! ....wait..that didn't..that's not what I meant:blush: I mean "keep up the good work"...yeah, thats what I meant.
Don
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Boy Rob , that brought happy tear's to my eyes .
You know Qing and Anne have certain things in commom . Qing is 41 , has a Accounting degree and has a 7 year old Boy . Hahaha ... that is something . Are you following my route ???
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Fantastic experience you are having there, Rob! Congrats and best wishes. I'm looking forward to your next post.
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Can anyone tell me who is whatshername???
Guys to be perfectly honest I never thought something like this could happen, not to me...:icon_cheesygrin:
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I see one major problem ahead of you Rob. SHE IS NOT CALLED KATHY -could you not ask her to change her name - I thought that you was only going for Kathy's!!!!
Well this morning was the happiest that I have heard you for a long time. That must have been a hell of a night. How come you were up so early this morning having got back so late.
Just treat her gently as she has probably not been in personal contact with a man for several years and I know what you Scots are like!!! Just think like an ex jockeys - take it easy for 5 furlongs and then dig your heels in and dash to the finish.
If you found her on the street I hope that no money changed hands - in that I presume you did not charge her for your escort duty last night!!! Mind you that is a way to make money until you get that teaching job.
Did I not tell you that the best place to meet women is face to face on the street.
Willy
PS Rob - I have another song for you 'A Moment Like This'
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Is the the same Rob who pm'd me that he was not going to jump into any new relationships anytime soon?:angel: hehe hehe
My advice to the residents of Qing Dao is lock up your daughter's !:s There's an amorous Scots guy on the loose!:icon_biggrin: Within one day of meeting this vision of loveliness Rob has already waltzed her down to the beach at midnight and sweet talked her to the point that she is showering with kisses. Hmmm, Ming zhi was very impressed. Good to see you happy my friend.,and I repeat that I bet this doesn't happen that much in Barrow! If I remember the place the seafront is not the most romantic place to be.Well not this time of year anyway. I will give you a call if you've got the time to take it !!!!:huh: Oh and forget about finding work it will find you, go see your girl and have a good time. You deserve it
Ming Zhi,Paul
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Thanks for all the praise guys...I am glad I NEVER stopped coming here now... Which nobody could have blamed me for...
I see one major problem ahead of you Rob. SHE IS NOT CALLED KATHY -could you not ask her to change her name - I thought that you was only going for Kathy's!!!!
Well this morning was the happiest that I have heard you for a long time. That must have been a hell of a night. How come you were up so early this morning having got back so late.
Did I not tell you that the best place to meet women is face to face on the street.
Willy
PS Rob - I have another song for you 'A Moment Like This'
God Willie did you not read my post this morning tut tut:huh:
Yeah mate you were right and I have given you the praise somewhere on here for it:icon_cheesygrin:
Is the the same Rob who pm'd me that he was not going to jump into any new relationships anytime soon?:angel: hehe hehe
My advice to the residents of Qing Dao is lock up your daughter's !:s
Within one day of meeting this vision of loveliness Rob has already waltzed her down to the beach at midnight and sweet talked her to the point that she is showering with kisses. Hmmm, Ming zhi was very impressed.
Ming Zhi,Paul
I think not!! That old Rob is back in Barrow hahah
As Ronan will testify, if you have the gift of the gab, then use it:)
They don't need locked up, I found what I was looking for:icon_cheesygrin:
Like I said in our PM's mate, Ka...whateverhernamewas doesn't know what she was losing:icon_cheesygrin:
Tell Ming Zhi see what a good guy her friend could have had hahaha:angel:
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Today after speaking to Willie on the phone this morning I phoned all my contacts about work, (8) are going to phone me back, about (9 or more0) told me to email them my details. (4) I have to re-phone, and (2) I need someone who speaks Chinese for haha. 1 of them told me to come for an interview later in the afternoon which I was all excited about, so I got dressed nice (NO david NOT the suit) and got everything I needed, got the porter to write down the address in Mandarin, then tell the taxi driver where I was going. All in all I was getting another chance. I got to the plkace and was shown by some kind female where it was (this was after me showing her the address and name of the school). As I approached the door, I thought this looks familiar? Lo and behold it was the same place I had been to 2 days earlier:huh:. So I left fuming.
I had phoned Anne earlier and told her not to meet me at the time we arranged because I had an interview. So now I was free and so called her. She told me to wait there and she would pick me up in 10 minutes. After she arrived she could see I was mad so we just walked about town for an hour and I tooke her into a clothes shop and bought her a scarf and Glove set.
NOW think how stupid I felt when after paying for them, I remembered she ownes a Clothes store:blush: We then went back to my hotel (TO DROP OFF MY STUFF:huh:).. As you can imagine being with her quickly took me out of my mood. Anyway, as it was after 3.30 we just sat in the room and listened to some music..HEHE guess what song I played HEHE you would be right. To the people that has never met an Asian lady, or dated one, you hear all types of things about the kissing. Believe me it's true..But QUITE nice. She had to go home at 5.30 to see to Fuyang (son). So we went outside and hailed a cab for her. We kissed and then she left, I am spending the whole day with her tommorow:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Well Guys, at the moment I only have one picture of Anne which I took earlier tonight. Sorry it's a bit dark but the sun was in our eyes and we had the curtains closed:angel:
There are a couple of one's here for Sly (If he ever appears again:huh:) I didn't know that France had links with China? Remember someone Hajo I think it was ,digging his way there, well I found his legs coming out somewhere hehe
I am putting on some picture for you, they are not the best quality so no getting on too me ok:icon_cheesygrin:
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She is very cute Rob. The kissing is different isnt it? Keep on a roll mate. Your doing well.
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Good report Rob but why did you play bagpipe music for her? :icon_cheesygrin:
Didn't Willy tell you to leave the bagpipe home? :icon_cheesygrin:
Shaun
Oops! Sorry you are home now.
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Rob,
The kissing maybe different, ....very different, but they are also very quick learners. So it won't be too long before you are back in your comfort zone...lol!! ....And surprise surprise they actually prefer the so called western ways of kissing!! ...Never again the goldfish kiss. haha!!
David....
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I am glad things are looking up for you Rob .I also see you are throwing the K letter out .It is good to start with the A letter and go from there lol.What grades were you being asked to teach?Just wondering.Keep the stories coming I enjoy reading them .
Ron
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I am glad things are looking up for you Rob .I also see you are throwing the K letter out .It is good to start with the A letter and go from there lol.What grades were you being asked to teach?
Ron
Ok Rob - what grade are you starting to teach Anne at? You know you have to be strong!!!
Willy
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Ok Rob - what grade are you starting to teach Anne at? You know you have to be strong!!!
Willy
ROFMAO...hahahhahaha:blush::icon_cheesygrin::angel: Sorry guy's a private joke hehe
Ron the interview I went for the other day they wanted a masters degree...However, I also think it had something to do with my Scots language, US Scots tend to talk fast,... REALLY FAST... And I believe that was why I did not get the job.
Right guys a little update for you.
This morning when I awoke, which was at 9.40 (late for a change) I discovered the electricity in the building was off... So I went up town a little bit earlier to get a coffee and some breakfast.. After this was over I went to the internet cafe to check my emails and such, which is why some may have seen me logged in.
I waited in town today to pick (Kathy) oops sorry Willie (haha) Anne up.. Before she left last night we arranged where we were going to meet and at what time (11.45). Well she has to do some work. since I have been here she has not been in as often. Just as well she is the boss or she would probably be out on her Arse hehe.
Once I came off the computer I went to the place I was to meet her, it was by a shop on Lunghi Rd, not far from the bank of China. It is/was a a lovely sunny day today, not cold at all, but it did get a little bit chilly later on (Weather wise hehe). Anyway, it was just past 12 when she showed up. She came out the taxi, and walked right up to me and gave me a peck on the cheek and a great big hug. She again explained why she was late, and again I said "not to worry". She had this white winter coat on and red woolen scarf that I had bought her. When I mentioned that it was not cold, she answered "hehe it will get cold". So I took it that what she says is going to happen it will do, after all she knows the weather here better than me.
We went from there into town, and starting asking me about religion!!! "Is it important to you?" she asked.. Well I don't want to lie to her so I told her the truth. That I was a Catholic and had lost my religion many years ago, but lately have felt like it has returned to me, although I don't practice it much. She was happy with that, I found out she was a Buddhist, I know absolutely NOTHING about Buddhism, so I will need to read up on it. She told me her father had died when she was 2, and left her and her younger sister alone with her mother. That she had went to university (the family are/were faily well off, not found out the details yet) and has helped fund her sisters place there too.
We stopped at this little shop and I went in to look around, as I looked at the things in the shop I noticed this little Budda pendant on a silver chain, so I pointed to it and asked her If she like it ;-)) she said it was nice, so you know the rest...I bought it, it was only 65 Yuan, which in British pounds is 6 pounds, 50 pence (6.50) which as you know is nothing really. she put it on her neck right away and kept saying "thank you thank you"
As we walked away from the shop she grabbed by arm and told me (although I think this is a bit quick) "Thank you Rob for coming into my life..." well you could have knocked me down with a feather.:blush: I was under the assumption that the chinese ladies like to get to know the person first? We went from there and walked another 10 minutes stopping every now and again to window shop. The thing I have noticed about China (well Qingdao) is the smells and the colours. It is a very colourful place, and advertising space, god they use every bit of building that is available hehe.:icon_cheesygrin: She mentioned that she felt a little hungry, so we went for some food. I wasn't that hungry as I wasn't that long after breakfast, (the thing is you guys is) I only have short legs to fill up hahaha. I expected that we would go to another restaurant, but she pulled me into MACDONALDS...I thought what the feck, I can get that in England. But as the saying goes, when in Rome, do as the Romans do, in our case China. I got a cheese burger and coke, and Anne ordered a Chicken burger with fries and orange juice!!! I found out that although she loves her Chinese food, she is also partial to a Macs and Kfc. Just as we sat down in the corner, she opened opened her coat, and I saw that she was wearing a nice white blouse, with black jeans (funny taste/style) but nice all the same:heart: She said to me, "Rob, what are you planning to do on Monday night?". I cannot make plans that far ahead, so I said "As far as I know, nothing", she then said (which surprised me) 'You will come to my house and I will cook us meal, shi?...I would like you to meet Fuyang, I have told him about you, I hope you not mind?". So I agreed and thanked her, so we she sat closer to me and hugged me a little, and sat smiling like a Cheshire Cat for the rest of the time.
We left there and walked down to the Yacht club area. In one of the pictures I have posted shows a bunch of buildings in the distance, this is where we went. I understand now what the guys are on about when they mention the ladies and their phones. Hers seemed to go off many times while we are together, but she always cuts them short and says I will call you back. Well I am assuming this as it's usually in Chinese, every time she comes off the phone she says "Sorry". But this is interesting, if you think about it, they have a life before us, so if they are always getting called, YOU cannot expect them to stop answering it, just because you are there.
We left there and jumped a taxi as IT started getting quite chilly, she dropped me off, saying I will meet you at 7.30, don't leave the hotel, I will come for you, so sher gave me a lingering kiss and then the cab left :-)). So now I'm in my room at the moment ALONE... and contemplating todays events... Is she going too fast?, am I? after all, and Paul mentions it, I was the one who said I was not going to rush into anything? TIME WILL TELL...
So now I am going to go for a shower and a coffee, then see what I can wear for tonight... I wonder where she will take me????
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Rob,
Surprise .... sometimes life takes you down an unexpected path .... I would say relax, and just flow along with things ... so enjoy the journey...
thanks for the update .... it is hard for me to think of Qingdao as cold, when I was there I baked in the sun everyday, and was sweating like a pig!!!! LOL
Mike O.
Greetings Brothers,
Rob, What Mike says. Just let things develop at their own speed. You dont have to rush but at the same time dont try to hold things back either. Things should only progress as fast as you are both comfortable with so unless one of you does something stupid to upset the other and you keep in mind the cultural and language barriers then I say go with the flow. If things start to go to fast then just tell her a bit about that other lady whatshername? (Keren)and suggest you go a little slower. I am assuming from what you have written that Anne is leading this particular dance at this time so go with what she is comfortable and try not to get into your own head or confuse something she says. If at all unclear try to clarify it first especially if its something very important.
Anyway glad you are having a great time and it seems you are on the right track.
Good luck Bro and have fun,
Zhen and Brian
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Really happy for you rob like mike says mate take it as it comes,some times us guys think to hard then stuff it up may the force be with you rob lol.
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The seasons turn turns..... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKHstR6ndus Welcome to your time Rob. Enjoy :blush:
Oops...Sorry Rob,,,just realised the Great Chines Firewall will block the site for you. It is a video of the Byrds playing Turn turn turn on the Ed Sullivan show.
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You know Rob, she is a boss at work and used to making decisions probably quick ones. Plus probably helped raise her little sister so this may just be her way of doing things. Take it as it comes, when it comes right down to it, you are the one to pop the question, so dont until you are ready. In the end if she loves you she will wait. The problem is WE are the ones usually taking it too fast. Plus there are a heck of a lot of beautiful women there. You have only been there a short time. It would be tragic if you shut yourself off from other women so quickly only to find out that she is not the right one. Decisions of the heart, so very hard at times.
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Don't over think this Rob.Just go with the flow see where it goes.
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Tonight as you know I was contemplating things before aI was to meet her again... I had thought that MAYBE things were going a bit fast. I'm not used to that in a woman, her taking the lead sort of thing. So I hadn't read any replies that were posted. My decision was to take it slower, as I believe that the excitement of being here has carried me away. Although it was like falling in love at first sight, i wasn't quite sure. We have only known each other for two days.
So my decision is set in stone...WELL I thought it was:-/
As you know she was coming to get me at 7.30 tonight. At 7.25 my room phone rng and the lady on the other end said 'Please, you have someone to see you, you come down?" So I answered "Xei xei, I will be right there...". It took me about 7 minutes before I left the room after getting all my stuff together. Once I got down the stairs I looked straight ahead. She was standing there looking in the mirror, she noticed me and waved towards the mirror, and I saw how happy she looked, which made me smile.
I noticed that she had changed too. Tonight she had on a Brown kneelength coat, which was open. Through the opening I saw a Sky blue dress, with white flowers on it (as I was to find out later there were only a few of these on it... Not to many (thank God). She looked really nice...
I walked across to her, and we both faced each other to kiss,...But bumped our heads which made us laugh at the same time:icon_cheesygrin: we tried again and this time connected, although this time she looked to see if anyone was watching (I noticed). Just as we got outside the hotel door she grabbed my hand and slid it into hers. Well I know this sounds stupid guys:huh: But being smaller than the lady, when this happens it makes you feel like you are being TAKEN somewhere, well that's the way I feel. But this once... I braved it:icon_biggrin:
I asked her if she had plans on where we could go, or if she just wanted a walk? She said I need to go to my shop, 'oh that's good I thought" So we waited and flagged a taxi down. Mike will probably bear this out there are loads of them roaming the streets. well once we got in she mentioned to the driver that we were going to Zhongshan Road, I understood this name for some reason, well not the road bit but the Zhongshan, even though she said it in Mandarin. As we sat back she seemed to sit closer to me, and slipped her arm through mine, which made me feel better. Once ther I paid for it it cost an amazing 19 rmb. Last of the big spenders 1.90p. we got out and I followed her into this shop. it wasn't that big, but big enough to make money on.. She walked to the counter and the ssistant walked right by her and came to me, and said "Ni hao". Being polite I answered and nodded my head. Anne shouted at her and told her who I was, the poor girl nearly burst into tears and apologised profusely, i accepted gracefully of course. Anne took great delight in showing me her empire and asked "You like", so I nodded and said 'Shi" at that her smile became wider. I looked about the place while she had to do whatever it was. we were only there for about 15 minutes, so it could not have been that important.
I think the little Pinyin I know has helped her warm to me because I am making an effort , even though it is very basic!!! We left ther and walked slowly towards town again, God these woman walk everywhere. I will lose about 6 inches in height if I do much more walking. We got to Wuehai road and I said 'Shall we go for dinner?" need to learn that in Pinyin I think!!! We passed a few restaurants and I noticed this one was quite busy, so I pulled her towds the door and we walked in. The reason I choose this one was simple, if it's a busy place then the food should be good (right guys or is that me thinking with my Western head on?). We were shown to a table and Anne took her coat off. This was the first time I had seen the full dress. As she turned from where she put her coat, I got the full effect of her beauty and figure:heart:.
What was it I said about being set in stone???
I waited til she sat down and I followed suit, (No david not SUIT... suit hehe). we spoke for a while (It's like non stop between us, we talk about everything and anything:icon_confused:, but I suppose this is the best way to get to know each other. There was one question on her mind tonight and it got raised a couple of times, because the first time it was asked I sort of body swerved it. Why did I choose China? Well what could I say!!!
I didn't want her feeling sorry for me, and I didn't want to focus on my height. So I told her a little white lie, maybe not a lie but a distortion of the truth. I told her about Keren (big mistake I thought) and told her I had been writing to her for a few months, and it just was not to be. She accepted this without question (which sort of surprised me). I also told her about my plans towards teaching. We spoke about this the other day, but I was able to go more in depth about it. So she was left happy with my answers, although I don't feel comfortable about NOT telling the whole truth to her.
While we had been in discussion she had ordered the food and drinks (soft drink for her and a Tsindao Beer for me). Seems like you were right Jim hehe. Well the time seemed to pass really quickly, but before we left I asked if she was tired as it looked like it. She said to me that she was, but did not want me to think it was because of me. It was the first time I had not seen her smile, I told her I understood and that she should go home early tonight and try and get a rest. now I know Maxx is right on this i shouldn't overthink this, and I won't. With all the walking we seem to do and her getting up early with her son she must get tired sometimes.
So She paid the bill !!! and we went outside and flagged a taxi down. we both got in it and SHE gave the driver the address, she knew it off by heart??? As we sat back in the seat she put her head on my shoulder, which made me feel so special. :angel: This was not the act of a women who ws thinking about my past relationships:heart:. On pulling up outside the hotel we got out of the taxi and she paid for it. I wondered what was going on, she told me "I want to spend another ten minutes with you, before I go home...". :blush: Well guys as you can see, I have a major dilemma on my hands !!! Do I take it that she wants to go up to my room? What did I decide?
Tomorrow you will find out.:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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There was one question on her mind tonight and it got raised a couple of times
Man this statement is begging for a response..but I will let it slide.
Great update Rob. Keep us posted....with pictures please...ahem of her of course not the "it".
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A women scorned is a women lost.It is a no win situation.If she wants to stay 10 minutes let her stay as long as she wants.
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Rob
how could you leave it there you bugger grrrrrrrr lol.
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All I can say is....
A THOUGHT FOR THE DAY...
Women are like phones:
They like to be held, talked to, and touched often.
But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected.
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vince,
good one never heard that one before (your thought for the day)
but we must all confess-- very true
rob
now we are all waiting for the rest of the story
that was bad to stop it there??
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I know, but to be honest Ted I couldn't resist. I remember someone else doing it and feeling the same as you probably felt but when I thought about it, I reaslised it was funny:icon_cheesygrin:
Ok so back to the story...
I said "oh ok, took her hand 'gently' and walked her through the door!". On the way upstairs I could feel myself shaking inside, like a kid that has found some sweets that he has not supposed to have.:huh: Anne she was humming some sort of Chinese melody to herself and holding on to my hand tighter, as we reached the door.
We went inside and took off our jackets, I asked if she wanted something to drink, I was dying for a coffee, but she said "Bu" So I put some music on and sat next to her. We moved closer together and you could 'feel' the tention between us. You know the one guy's, where all you want to do is rip the clothes right off each other and get down and dirty. Well I wasn't going to be like that,:blush: I wanted it to be romantic, I wanted it to be nice for both of us, not, a wham bam thank you mam, something to remember. So much for 10 minutes...We kissed and cuddled for about an hour, and then she lay in my arms with her head on my shoulder, holding me tight, tighter than I have EVER been held before:blush:. We lay there again just holding one another and rubbing each others shoulders and arms etc and (hehe dare I say it Rhonald) things delevoped. She got up and excused herself for the toilet (Western by the way) and I went over and changed the CD.
She came up behind me and threw her arms around me, as I turned we started kissing again. Only this time I started to unzip her dress 'slowly' and she started to undo my shirt buttons...:blush::heart: This Morning at 5.30 I walked her down for a taxi, we hugged and kissed again and then it was over she was gone...:angel:To be met later. One of the things that sticks in my mind is what she told me, "You are strong", I NOW know what this means:blush:
Guys I know this sounds like a soap opera in my posts, and may too some seem Unreal. But it is all true, I kid you not. That is exactly the way I feel unreal... Was my decision to come here after whostheone? ...right......YES it was VERY much so. Will I remember last night for ever. In a word...your damb RIGHT. If something was to happen and i never see Anne again. She will always be in my heart
This adventure for me has been full of firsts...First real plane journey, first new Country, first real Asian lady, first new language. What got me to this pleasurable state I'm in. A little machine called a TRANSLATOR. You can have all the money in the world (I don't, as Willie will tell you he knows my inside story) and have the most drop dead gorgeous female on your arms and not get happiness. It was a chance meeting because of my search for athe translator, and I am the happiest (almost, sorry arnold, man on God's green earth).:angel::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Did I tell you that it was AWESOME...
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Just remember Scotty , different country ,different customs , she is moving as she feels comfortable , to be invited home to meet her son , is an honour and speak to Anne and see if on the way you can get a small gift for him , just a thought , regards Ying and Robert .
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Well Rob. What more can I say. Have I not been telling you for weeks just what to expect!
Now its time to get down to some hard work if you want to stay there. If you cannot find a school to teach at then go for private lessons. If you can stop and talk and seduce a beautiful lady who you met on the street then you can use that same Celtic charm and talk some other young ladies in to taking your private English (with a slight Glaswegian accent) lessons.
You have the gift of the gab so you can do it. Its either that or pedally one of those rickshaws around the city.
Willy
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Rob you have developed the talent of the Dramatic. I applaud your endeavor. Sometimes a mountain needs to be climbed to have a peak to the other side. But boy..... whaaat a view :icon_biggrin:
You spin a good yarn and I await the news of more successes.
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Phew........!!!!!!
That buggered up my blood pressure .......again !!!
Imagine what would have happened if you wanted to buy a TV :):):)
David
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Rob, you lucky Scotsman!!! What more is there to say:icon_biggrin:
Don
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Thanks guys...Mike that reminds me..NO I bloody never got my coffee:huh:
I know this might come over like, YEAH RIGHT !!! But I swear on all that is holy, it is the truth.
Today I was to meet sweetness (Anne) again beside the BOC. Well as I was really early, I went in for a burger. I ordered and went upstairs and sat down. At the next table there was a man with his 12 year old daughter (I found this out later), so I said Ni Hao, as you do...
Well he turned to me after a few minutes and asked if I was Engrish??? I try not to explain about the subtle differences so I said "Yes"..He told me his daughter was learning Engrish, politely I explained that I was trying to get a job teaching it. He sat for a few moments then made a phone call. A few minutes later his phone rang and he answered it, preceding to write something down.
Once he finished doing whatever it was he was doing, he got up from his table and came to mine, asking if he could sit down:dodgy: He introduced himself and his daughter, English names Steven and Eva. And told me that he had PHONED Eva's teacher to see if the school needed any teachers. They DID so he organised an interview with her and me at 4 O'Clock tomorrow. He then gave me HER number and name, and his number and name:dodgy:
After sitting al together for 10 minutes he told me he would take me to the school just now, so I can meet her today before my interview tomorrow. Now I'm not one for refusing help when it is offered. So I said "that would be fine, BUT isn't Schools closed on a SUNDAY???". He explained that this was not so, classes are held on a Sunday also !!! When I thought about the contracts that I had been sent, I remembered this was the case.:icon_biggrin: So we got up and left, just 25 yards from the BOC there is a large Glass building, we got outside it and he pointed up and said "Up There". Before we entered he asked what I did in England for work. I told him a market stall holder, "Ok, you tell the teacher you teach in England"...
Ok I thought I'll play it his way. We went in the building and there were a few girls and guys about waiting on the lifts We got in the lift and took it upstairs. To be honest, I don't know what I was expecting. Once we got to the floor, we walked into this large room. It was a School. We went to the desk, but the teacher he had phoned was not there at the moment, so the receptionist called her. Then she passed the phone to him. He spoke to her for about 4 minutes then HANDED me the phone... I said "hello?' and this lady spoke to me saying that she 'could not' be in School today, but could I meet her tomorrow at 4pm where I am just now. I agreed and thanked her :-))
On speaking to Steven, he said he would be there with his daughter at this time also, to see how I get on...
NOW...I don't know about any of the brothers or my countrymen would have done that for a total stranger...
I mentioned it in an earlier post BUT these people are AMAZING...
I am not going to fill my hopes up, but at least it's a start I don't want to tempt fate:blush: Now that I'm in the hotel waiting on Anne getting out the shower, I thought I would just update you a little bit more. I also feel a little guilty that I had these dodgy feeling towrds this guy:blush:
Right guys I gotta go...:heart::heart: has just come in the room wrapped in a towel:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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:
Right guys I gotta go...:heart::heart: has just come in the room wrapped in a towel:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Expensive hotel then Rob? - if you get that sort of room service!!!!
I will say this again - the Chinese are the most generous people I have ever met.
Did you get your dumplings today - or are you about to or is that another story!!!
Willy
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Hi Rob,
As an aside maybe we should call you Roving Romeo Rob, gosh if you and Wily Willy the londoner got into the same town phew! I don't know what would happen LOL. :icon_cheesygrin:
Back to business Don't worry too much about Steven I think he saw an opportunity ( supply and demand ) and some common good to be had for all concerned ie you need a job and the school needs a teacher. Maybe you did some voluntary work with kids in England on a part time basis such as literacy skills etc or maybe some kind of instruction in some kind of activity you are familiar with. It doesn't have to be something fantastic but maybe stretch it a little as Steven did about saying you taught in England. I have had a similar experience when I took a friend to look at a TEFL course ( in Thailand ) and I was offered a job by the owner when I wasn't even looking for one. It does happen mate and part of the rolling WOW factor. One piece of advice is to speak just a little slower than usual and speak clearly because we roll our syllable sounds over into the next word sometimes. They really won't be able to understand a native speaker going at native speed in a conversation, that is what I found in my experience, it all boils down to listening ability which does take time to develop. You would not believe how many jobs I have turned down through casual encounters and talking of casual encounters look what happened through going to buy a translator! Hee hee, just go with it and see what happens afterall nothing ventured nothing gained you never know what is round the corner. They usually like you to give a demo class so maybe check the teacher websites for some simple lesson plans / ideas etc. Above all keep it simple because you need the students to produce an example of the lesson's target. Yes you are right to be cautious ( dodgy feeling ) because that is how we would be back home for obvious reasons but here you are dealing with a different culture and a different mind set, it is something that takes a little getting used to that's all and I don't think there is any negative intention whatsoever, the man is just being helpful, just remember keep your eyes and mind open and everything should be okay.
Good luck ( Best of British? )
Mark
Now go back to the towel part and don't forget the coffee this time :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Greetings Brothers,
Well Rob you had best slow down or you are gonna have everyone new to this thinking all they have to do is show up in China and ladies and jobs fall into their laps. Of course we all know better and as you can see we are all very happy for you.
Just remember that for Anne she has now comitted to you so if you think its not right be gentle when you tell her If you both think it is right then congratulations to both of you and lets hope you are as happy as Zhen and I.
However I must mention one very serious issue here too.....
WHERE ARE THE PICTURES!!! you know we dont believe a thing until we see the pictures.
Congrats again and good luck with the job.
Zhen and Brian
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Wow Rob,
Tough decisions. Woman... Coffee... Woman... Coffee? Are you sure you made the right decision? :icon_cheesygrin:
It looks like kind of man who is able land on his feet in any given situation. Good job.
Shaun
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Guys
I will post the pictures, as you have saw with the other ones I did post they were crap. Out of focus..... too big.... Too small..... As soon as I get the hang of my new camera I will buy this week I promise there will be pictures and plenty of them...Please be patient:s
Thanks for the kind words...And thanks for the idea about the present for the son mate...
Mark...
From 29 - 34 I worked in youth clubs, first as a volunteer, then youth worker (unpaid), then paid youth worker. Going on to become leader in charge to opening Youth clubs throughout Scotland. At the same time I done the same with Playschemes, going the same route...
Have I taught...YES I Have to an extent, I have done many workshops. on things as diverse as painting, to opening up Clubs, to Accounting for them, to teaching them reading etc etc. So in a sense YES I have taught but not really in a classrom babsis, except for the accounting and book keeping. On saying that I have never had, nor got, a TEACHING CERTIFICATE. If anything FAILS me... it will be my 'Speech'..., because as you know we have a helluva rate of knots when we start lol :icon_biggrin: But I have been talking to the london git (haha) and he said the same to me about it, so for the last couple of calls I HAVE slowed it down considerably, so all I can do is hope for the best... But thanks for your words of encouragement and valuable information
Wow Rob,
Tough decisions. Woman... Coffee... Woman... Coffee? Are you sure you made the right decision? :icon_cheesygrin:
It looks like kind of man who is able land on his feet in any given situation. Good job.
Shaun
Not sure mate...Right woman get the coffee poured out hehehe
Phew........!!!!!!
That buggered up my blood pressure .......again !!!
Imagine what would have happened if you wanted to buy a TV :):):)
David
David
Haha I wouldn't read this coming Tuesday mornings update...Unless you want a heart attack hahaha
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Right here come another installment although not much about myself and my GOOD lady...:icon_cheesygrin:
After I went offline once the post was done (Towel Post) while she ws drying herself, which guys I must admit I did offer to help :blush: BUT (haha) she thought I better NOT (Not sure why??? Haha). I made me some coffee and some juice for her, then we sort of had another little talk :huh:. just about life in general. And how she will not be able to see me until 7ish tomorrow night (Havent a clue what I'm gonna do with myself til 4pm, maybe catch up on some sleep). Well she does have her son to get ready for school and then work, I would be totally selfish If I asked her not to go to work... So I really have no choice in the matter.
She mentioned that her Mother had noticed this morning 'How' she seems 'Happier' these days for some strange reason :exclamation: There is NO WAY I expect her to tell her Mother about us yet, as I know we are in the VERY early stages in this relationship. Anyway, she had to go home tonight to bath/shower her son for school and make sure he sleeps, as her mum cannot take him tonight:huh: So she left and I put her on a taxi about about 5.15. Bloody hell that will be 22 hours without seeing her :huh:
Once this was done I walked over to a restaurant and got a meal as I was rather peckish after all the days exhertion (so to speak). Everything was in madarin, but on the menu was about 6 pictures. So I picked one of them. It cost me 47rmb for Laoshan Tea, Pepsi, rice, vegetables, and Sichuan Hotpot. Well I think it was this?, the table had a sort of inbuilt cooker on it and you put into the dish all the ingrediants including 2 massive plates of thinly cut meat. IT WAS GORGEOUS BUT, very very hot. My lips burned for ages, even more than with all the kissing that's been going on.
As I was on my own I decided to go to the 'Night Market' rather than sit in the hotel. This is an outdoor market within the compound of the streets, and many of the shops are passageways into 'Indoor markets'. It was really busy. There are two or more reasons I think I got the WOW factor tonight. One was this place and road that it was on, with all the lights from the shops and advertisment (flashing billboards). It took me about 2 hours to walk around this place and I never even entered the Indoor markets.
The second reason about the WOW factor was when I was coming back to the hotel, I 'Heard' Chinese Singing, you know the ones you hear in the films. Well I thought I would go and have a listen because it was coming from across the road and I thought it was some sort of person playing records. Well, to my ASTONISHMENT, there were about 3 dozen or more people (mixed including mixed ages) all grouped together singing away happily...and it was bloody cold. The band leader was in front conducting this. The thing about it was, everyone sounded really happy, I have not saw one disgruntled person (except Anne last night) since I've been here... To the left of this group were about (and I kid you NOT) another group of about 2 dozen men and woman all dancing, like line daners, man it was fantastic to watch.
This is where the WOW factor comes in, There is NO way you would ever see anything like that happen in Scotland, nor I believe the UK. Not sure about other Countries, BUT I have NEVER seen this in my life before. There are 2 other little insignificant points I would like to make.The first one is the smells. Never having been ouitside the Uk I don't know about this, but I'm assuming it is relative to each Eastern Country, those that use lots of spices etc. The second point I want to make is (and if I wasn't with Anne I definetly would hehe) I noticed all through my travels TONIGHT, that the Asian ladies are BEAUTIFUL well in my eyes at least 75/85% of them. Almost each and everyone of them seem to have bodies to die for!!! Tonight as I walked I saw almost every female smile and BOY what smiles they have :heart:
Anyway that's my update complete for tonight. The one last thing I want to say is, BOY I wish I done this years ago, this will be my biggest regret EVER :huh:
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Greetings Brothers,
Well Rob you had best slow down or you are gonna have everyone new to this thinking all they have to do is show up in China and ladies and jobs fall into their laps. Of course we all know better and as you can see we are all very happy for you.
Just remember that for Anne she has now comitted to you so if you think its not right be gentle when you tell her If you both think it is right then congratulations to both of you and lets hope you are as happy as Zhen and I.
However I must mention one very serious issue here too.....
WHERE ARE THE PICTURES!!! you know we dont believe a thing until we see the pictures.
Congrats again and good luck with the job.
Zhen and Brian
Brian,
Now you tell me. :@ I just finished packing my bags after the post Rob gave about his choice. Coffee... Woman.... :dodgy:
Guess I had better re-thinks this. :icon_cheesygrin:
Good post Brian. I am afraid we men sometimes think with the wrong head. :s:icon_cool:
Rob Keep posting. And I have heard you say this before. "We want pictures." :exclamation: Not that we are demanding or anything like that.
Hope all continues to go well.
Shaun
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Great post Rob and yes the wow factor at parks. They love to do group social events, singing, dancing, or playing instruments. You just have to show up and can start learning something for free. The only thing I see here in Canada is maybe people playing pick up sports ie football, volleyball, but never the more cultural activites.
We know they practice Martial Arts but in the parks with the singing and dancing they also practice Marital Arts. And now Rob you get to practice first hand with your new girl.
Now go kick...ahem kiss some Butt :heart: :icon_cheesygrin:
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Wow Rob. Just wow. I am totally amazed and impressed. It sure seems like someone is looking down on you and your little part of the world. Well, I think the whole country is charmed. Just imagine what you would be doing right now if you hadn't made the trip.
I'm really enjoying reading your posts. Keep up the awesome adventure.
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Rob,
very good turn of events for you. i am happy to see that it is
working out well for you. having recently relocated to China(guangzhou)
i see that all the time in the parks and it is really wonderful and it always
makes me stop to watch and listen. im not as lucky as you are the woman
dont come up to me on the street but i guess with Sisi on my arm that
probably stops them from doing so hahaha and yes the women are very
beautiful and sexy. i recomend more people coming here to live and do what
we have done.
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. If anything FAILS me... it will be my 'Speech'..., because as you know we have a helluva rate of knots when we start lol :icon_biggrin: But I have been talking to the london git (haha) and he said the same to me about it, so for the last couple of calls I HAVE slowed it down considerably, so all I can do is hope for the best... But thanks for your words of encouragement and valuable information
I am sure glad that there are a lot from London on this forum otherwise I may think it was me he was calling a git!!! LOL - probably a lot on this site outside the UK will not know what that means. (Maybe you should ask the skirt cladded heathen from across the border his interpretation !!!!LOL )
One thing to remember - colloquiel words (and I spelt that wrong) should be avoided in China as they are unlikely to know what they mean and trying to explain could get you into trouble. Big words as well should be confined to this forum.
If you find someone who speaks English then keep the conversation simple unless you are sure that they swallowed the same dictionary as you!!
Speak to you after the interview.
Willy
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Good luck for today Rob , and may your night be lucky to , regards Ying and Robert .
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A little taster...
This morning I went for breakfast and then decided to go to the local park 'Hai Bo Park' it's called. Well it only took me 10 minutes to walk. Well I was doing nothing anyway... I finally finds it and enters it.
As I start along this pathway, I can hear music...So off I trot to see what (if anythin) is going on. Well there were couples ballroom dancing (I think it was ball room). Further along, there were guy's playing cards. Still further along, some peole playing Badminton.. of course everyone I walked by had a quick stare at me (laughing) so it was always Ni Hao with a wave from me.:icon_biggrin:
As I got into the middle of the park, I took a picture of some old fella playing a stringed instrument...Just for Rhonald hehe. On starting to leave, one of the men came up to me and talked a lot in Chinese. What he was asking was, for me to take a picture of HIM lighting up HIS PIPE. Of course I done this. As I stood there loads of people came over, so I got my translator out and started typing for them. They nodded and smiled and laughed etc.
I left there and went fruther into the place. Many people saying "Ni Hao" to me and I returning it. This old couple as I walked by, smiled and the gentleman gestured for me to go and sit with them. So I did and again out come the translator. It again drew another crowd. They laughed when I mentioned 'Wo ai' (Short) about me then pointed to them saying "Ni Vao" you tall. I was there for about an hour sitting and laughing with them Now most of what they were saying I did not get, but there were some words I recognised so If they laughed, so did I.
The thing I noticed as Rhonald mentioned is they play all sorts of recreational games there, from dancing to singing to card playing to kite flying. This I find amazing:icon_biggrin: I left there to go and get some food. So I was going along the road when I noticed a 'Language School'. Now I can hear you say, How did you know this if you don't speak Chinese?. Easy, it said Rainbow Language School above the door hahaha. so I think why not try it. So in I go and speak to the receptionist, she says "hold please".
This lady come down and introduces herself to me, she is the Director of the School. so we go upstairs as she asks me to follow her. And she takes my details, (which I had on me, for this appointment today). Long story short...I have a demo class on Saturday, she was 'impressed' (and undersdtood my language). She did say it would be part time, but if good MAY move to full time. She also mentioned that she liked me, because (her words) you are humour. Obviously my personality shone through :icon_cheesygrin: So I am now going to get ready for my demo at 4pm today.
So this will make up since being here 3 demo classes, also (1 that was in the same place) that after getting there I did not go into. And another one tomorrow in another town. So 5 in 2 weeks. That is MORE interviews in two weeks than you would likely get in 3 or 4 months in the UK.
Paul Todd, you were right when you mentioned to me about feeling like a film star...What an amazing people !!!
Update
Just back from interview...I have another demo class on Thursday. However, they can only offer me 2 hours a week at the moment...90 rmb an hour...!!! No work Visa included.
You will only get a work visa supplied if you get a full time job
What this means in my circumstance at the moment is, that if the interview I'm going to tomorrow in Rizhao offers me 'Full Time' I need to take it...
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Rob, if hours don't conflict, maybe you could take on both jobs to end up with full time work. (if that makes any sense)
Anyway, I really enjoy reading your posts and following your story. Good luck to you!
Don
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Hey Rob,
I also enjoy reading your posts here. Seems that there was a plan for you in china. Good luck on finding that job that is right for you and everything else.
Kenny
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Well guys I am back from my date with Anne a bit earlier than I wanted to be:huh:
She picked me up later than the time arranged, it was only by 15 minutes but that wasn't so bad. I was on the phone chatting to Willie when my door knocked, so I said my goodbyes to him and opened the door.
She stood in the hallway looking a million dollars (or should that be pounds???) And smelled delicious. After letting her in we kissed for a couple of minutes, then I put my coat on and we left, because she had told me the car was downstairs and she asked him to wait for her. Did I mention anywhere that she was in my postings that she was gorgeous???:icon_cheesygrin:
Once in the taxi it was the usual routine in the back, sitting close to each other her hand in mine. Once we arrived I noticed that it was not much further away from where I had been to the 'Night Market' last night, so this was good in my eyes. We pulled up and got out of the car, and I followed her into this block of flats. She lives on the third floor so we walked up...The guys are right when they say about some of the smells, and some lights not working.
We got to her front door, and I could hear Chinese music playing from inside, it was not loud, Anne heard it too. On opening the door shouted something in Chinese, must have been 'turn that down', because it went down. This little boy come running out of the living room and ran straight into her arms. She lifted him up, and kissed his cheek then spoke in her native tongue to him and put him back down. She told me that this wa her son, he said "hello" so I gave him the kite I had bought earlier, and he ran away laughing. We took our jackets off and hung them on the hallway rack, like an old fashioned umbrella stand with a long back with hooks protruding from it. She took my hand and we walked into the living room. Now I was expecting her, me, her sister and son to be there:huh: Imagine my surprise when I saw what greeted us. The ones I mentioned, 2 of her friends and an uncle of hers. No use trying to tell you their names, I have not got a 'Scobbie Doo'(Clue...LOL). All I remember is her sister's name is 'Maria', Chinese name (lol Unknown).
If I had know there were going to be this many people I would have brought more gifts. She introduced me and everyone was very pleasant and smiled saying 'Ni hao'. So I answered politely and bowed to the uncle, as he seemed the eldest of the group. Not sure if I done the right thing, so many bloody rules to follow!!! But it seemed to be ok because that brought a GREAT big smile to his face, and Anne smiled happily too. One of her friends got up and offered me a seat, then went in and made some tea. She took great delight in telling me it was Laoshan. So I nodded and said, "I like that tea, I had some last night" and smiled. So she turned away from me coyly and smiled again.
As she was out of the room, Fuyang came up and stared at me, I made some funny faces at him and he laughed his head off and lay on the ground laughing. Of course the family did not like this, so Maria (Anne's sister) picked him up and scolded him verbally, he started crying and ran away. I never saw him til about 10 minutes before I left. They seem to take great delight in offering you things with the tea, being a relative newbie to Chinese custom I never refused anything, so they would not lose face. Anne had finished work at 4 o'clock today and left to go and prepare food for tonight, so everything was nearly done when I got there. I asked if I could help and was told "Bu, you sit". I felt a little uneasy sitting there and the girls staring and laughing, the uncle was asking me all sorts of questions. Like where you stay in United States??? So I had to explain about the differant Countries, and showed them some British Currency I had on me for some ice breaker, in case I needed one.
We were there for about 3 quarters of an hour when the front door knocked. In came another uncle with a dog, I got introduced after getting stared at by him, so he firmly shook my hand and nodded at me, which I also returned in kind. We were just sitting down to this meal about 15 minutes later, when the dog bit Fuyang on the arm, not too bad, but needed a couple of stitches. So Anne, me, and the first uncle got him dressed after me puting on a bandage on him, for them. We went downstairs and got a taxi to the Qingdao Hospital/Surgery. We were there less than an hour, he did need 4 stiches and was given an injection, I could hear his cry when they injected him, but he was quite brave for the stiches.
Once we come out of there, she was very apologetic and angry that the dog had done this, which is only to be expected. So I said that "he will be very tired and upset now for the rest of the evening, so maybe it's best if I just go home". :angel: Relucklantly she agreed.:huh:, so we got another taxi and they dropped me off, just as I got out of the taxi I told her I wanted to speak to her about something tomorrow, but it would be in the evening, as I would be in Rizhao during the day. At this point her face dropped, don't know why???
She said she will phone me later tonight, and let me know how he is.
But apart from that, everything went well I think, and now I must go and get something to eat...
I'M STARVING....lol:angel::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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just as I got out of the taxi I told her I wanted to speak to her about something tomorrow, At this point her face dropped, don't know why???
You don't know why? With the way the day went she may think you want to stop seeing her? You should have saved this info for later or not at all. The next day you could have let her know about the talk? Which has me wondering the same?
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Yeah I am with you Vince he gets bit by an uncles dog he gets stitches she is embarrassed that Rob has to spend the evening at the hospital.I dont know if I would have suggested going home of course she is going to say ok and take it as rob may be upset over all this and she cant blame him for wanting to go home?And to top it off he suggests he needs to have words with her the next evening?I guess its always easier to be able to stand back and see the whole picture thats the good part of having brothers here.Rob if you read this maybe a phone call to see how he is doing during the day so she doesnt have to worry about your feelings?Just a suggestion my friend.That would help clear up any misunderstandings with her.:icon_biggrin: Why her uncle brought the dog in the first place is a mystery to me unless he was making sure it dodnr end up on somebodies dinner table?:huh:Never a dull moment with you Rob lol
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You don't know why? With the way the day went she may think you want to stop seeing her? You should have saved this info for later or not at all. The next day you could have let her know about the talk? Which has me wondering the same?
This is true mate I should have known better:huh:
Yeah I am with you Vince he gets bit by an uncles dog he gets stitches she is embarrassed that Rob has to spend the evening at the hospital.I dont know if I would have suggested going home of course she is going to say ok and take it as rob may be upset over all this and she cant blame him for wanting to go home?...Rob if you read this maybe a phone call to see how he is doing during the day so she doesnt have to worry about your feelings?...Never a dull moment with you Rob lol
The reason I suggested going home was because SHE needed to be with her son rather than me.......... IN MY OPINION...
I fully intended to do this mate...:icon_biggrin:
AND, your bloody right...It seems that way:huh:
Back to business...
at about 11.20 I get a phone call from Anne telling me that he has settled and that her Mother is coming over to baby sit him...
So I ask why, and she tells me that she is worried about what I mentioned about 'A Talk' with her...And she does not want to sleep wondering what it was I wanted to say to her.:blush: So she asks me where I am and I tell her that I was just on the way back to the hotel after getting some cigarettes and juice. I did not want to put my foot in it by mentioning food...lol.. So she says' I want to "come and 'speak' just now, will it be ok?" So rather than worry her anymore I agree. She turned up five minutes later...
When she gets here, I open the door, and the first thing I see is her wiping her eyes with a hankerchief:huh: Once she comes in I tell her to take her coat off and I will explain, she does this. So I start to say...
I know we have only known each other a few days...BUT...It feels like I have known you all my life...We are so comfortable together, don't you think?. "Yes" she says, (her answers I will put in Brackets). Well there are a few questions I want to ask you. As you know I am looking for work? What will happen if I cannot get full time work here and I have to go to another city or town? ("What? You want to leave me? Have I done something wrong?:huh:). No I explain, at the moment possibly not until March I will be able to get full time work here in Qingdao! (You find someone else?:huh:) At that, the English stops and out comes the CHINESE. hahaha
So I see that she is getting upset so I take her in my arms to reassure her. The bloody tears come:s and I think what is she crying for??? I have no INTENTION of splitting with her. So I wipe her tears away give her a little kiss, hold her hands in front of me while positioning myself to be facing her and say "This may sound strang but I have fallen in love with you !!!", "strange because it has only been 8 days" (Ni ai wo?). Her face turns red and she throws her arms around me saying "wo ai ni":icon_cheesygrin:.
After talking for about an hour, and explaining slowly everything I wanted to speak about, she was MUCH happier. She did not want to go home, so while she sleeps, I am updating this for you...Have a good night gents...
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I know thats your concern and seems like it was an awkward situation.I am trying to figure out how he got bit with the uncle right there.Your lucky you werent bit.Do they even give rabies shots to animals there?Like I said never a dull moment lol.I am wondering if the uncle is getting an earfull today lol.best of luck on your job search my friend. Hope you land one soon
Ron
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I know thats your concern and seems like it was an awkward situation.I am trying to figure out how he got bit with the uncle right there.Your lucky you werent bit.Do they even give rabies shots to animals there?Like I said never a dull moment lol.I am wondering if the uncle is getting an earfull today lol.best of luck on your job search my friend. Hope you land one soon
Ron
His own fault, the dog was unleashed and he started hitting it on his face, so the dog just pounced,,,No-one could have stopped it. The reason he was there was because he was just taking it for a walk and called up...
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Rob,
Wow, this is real life. You've found someone and you are finding out that there are insecurity issues on the female side. It is the same with Peggy and me. Two nights ago Peggy cried for about 10 minutes. He sister told her that I would grow tired of her and leave if she did not go to the university and learn English. Her sister told her that I would not like her. I told Peggy I LIKE YOU three times in upper case. She starts crying. Guys her English is pretty good. I talked with her sister and asked her not to tell her stuff like that. She agreed. Last night Peggy asked me three different times if I liked her and was happy with her. I told her yes and it happened again this morning. Thinking we had it settled she then asks what if my children do not like her. Now today this happened over a 4 hour period.
Rob I am saying this because I think in many ways at first we need to spend most of our time re-assuring them that they have value and that we see it. I just cannot imagine how the men there can drive the women to this point but it is a reality. Here I am talking like I am an expert. It is just what I am seeing with Peggy, with other men talking on this site and now you. It just needs to be in the front of our minds that the need reassurance until they understand believe it.
Rob I think you are winning the battle though and it is good to see you happy, talking on this site.
Shaun
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Like Willy said, we have a bunch of good news going on here. So happy for you Rob. Truly, she sounds like a winner. Continued good luck.
Question, how did you set up your demo class? And what did you do? I havent heard of this before.
Mr. and Mrs. Burk
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Well at least I have noticed one thing. If you do not get a teaching job that pays really well then have you considered writing for Mills and Boon!!!!!
Willy
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Well Rob I am really sorry to have received the news when I called you from Hong Kong.
I know that it will be hard for you - much harder than the business with K - mainly because K was just a paper love but Anne is different. You have actually met her and after the chats we have had I know that at this moment you are in love.
When you get back I will send you a telephone card details and you can call me in China as I go back on monday - maybe you can call Anne as well if I give you the card details. You can get about 500 minutes of talk on each card using a 0800 number. While I am feeling generous I will get you a few cards. Oh Dear My late mother would not like that! She was from Yorkshire and she described a yorkshire person as Scottish but with every drop of generosity squeezed out!!!
The thing is you do not need emfs any more - you have met someone who matters to you - not someone from a picture on a website - you met her in person face to face.
Stick at it and enjoy the time you have left with her. It will be hard but as she says - you are strong - you will fight to get back as soon as you can.
Anything I can do to help then let me Know.
Heading to Mumbai (Bombay), India in a moment so speak to you when I get back to London.
Willy
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Well Rob I am really sorry to have received the news when I called you from Hong Kong.
Stick at it and enjoy the time you have left with her. It will be hard but as she says - you are strong - you will fight to get back as soon as you can.
Willy
:icon_question:I think I missed something! I thought everything was good except for the dog bite. Everything ok?
Don
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Hi guys
I will start here from where I left this morning writing my last post in for you.
As I had said Anne stayed the night after 'our' Talk...As you know we both toild one another that we loved each other...Well Usually this (WITH ANY COUPLE) would lead to mad passionate sex...I think she wanted to be reassured..But I was in a different mindset:angel: I wanted her... of course I did...BUT I wanted her to see that it was her and not the sex, if that can make any sense!!! So We just lay in each others arms until she fell asleep. I got up and wrote my post and went back to snuggling into her...
She awoke bright as a button at 5am this morning, she kissed me, to wake me up, and being the red blooded person that I am...I done what any red blooded man would do in a situation like that:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin: NOW this was NOT taking advantage. At 7.30 we went down for a taxi for her to go to work. The last thing she said before the taxi pulling away..."Rob...Wo ai ni...Truly"
But about 6 times during the day she calls me...lol
Well thats that problem sorted, now for trying to get work...:huh:
I travel on a bus for 3 hours to a city called Rizhao. I meet the director from the school, he takes me him and another teacvher for lunch, it was lovely...Like a beef and potato hotpot...
Anyway we talk a little and then go to the school. We talk some more and then he asks IF I would take a demo class:huh: I was not going to go all that way NOT TOO..So I said ok, arrangments were made.
After 30 mminutes we head to this classroom. and it is full of 15/16/17 year olds, all being really mouthy as they can be sometimes. Anyway we walk in and the director points me to the front and say's "When you ready". Well I am standing there at the front of this class, and the biggest majority of them have turned there heads away from me and of course talking to each other in Chinese. hmmm What do I do to get there attention as I can see 3 other teachers and director looking at me!!1
Well I clench my fist and make a knocking sound on the desk, they hear it and turn round, but still talking, so I put my finger to my mouth and say SSSHHHHHHHhhhh. At that there is quietness, as I glance around the room, I can see the director is well pleased with this:icon_biggrin: So I make my intreoduction and do the demonstration, which at the beginning was a little shaky (I must say). On completuion I ask if there are any questions? NO response, I ask again, NO response. So I walk over to the classroom door open it and walk out!!! Why you may ask?
Well after 25 seconds I walk back into the room and ask a third time "Has anyone got any questions I could answere?" So this boy at the back puts his hand up and say's "Please, why did you walk out" (correct guy's I walked out to get this response), this stars a flurry of questions once I explained that I needed this response, to get studants to talk to me...
Once I had finished I said thank you and again in Chinese to them... The director told the other teacher to take me back to the room and he would be there shortly.. He came back after 25 minutes or so, and sat down.. His first words.."Rob you are agood and nice person":huh: BUT, most of the students and teachers did not understand a lot of what you were saying...(Think Sean Connery, Scottish Actor), So I am sorry we can not offer you blah blah blah.
"No problem" I say and thanks him. He then says he will book a hotel for me for tonight, which was kind of him, but I declined and mentioned I HAD to get back to Qingdao toonight. Tonight I am going for dinner with Anne, I have some more bad news for her, and I don't know how she is going to react!!!:blush:
When I first booked this flight, I made it a return ticket, because as you know my original plans (K)
Well, although my hotel is booked (which I was told for a month (it's NOT) it's booked for 15 days. However, without the proper funds, there is NO WAY I can stay longer. That is why getting work was so important to me. My plane back to England is Tomorrow at 3.45, and I have to explain all this to Anne. I will now make plans to come back in March, hopefully for a wedding. The thing that people will have to get into their minds, is KEEPING the IMPORTANT information in your head. Too me this was important...
So here's hoping...
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Outch... Sorry I've missed your story...
It seems that you're going back to England tomorrow, so?? so quick? :s
wow...I'll read your story to better understand what happened...
I just hope that, anyway, it was a good experience for you, even if your journey was "too short"... :(
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Sorry Rob. I guess everything happens for a reason. We sometimes do not understand at the time. But, it will work out for you.
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Just popped up to get changed going to her house:icon_cheesygrin:
Just a little update, I asked her if she would marry me, after I calmed her down about leaving. (will fill in the details later)....SHE SAID YES, with tears in her eyes...
She is taking me to the airport tomorrow...So NOT looking forward to that:huh:
Right gotta go...
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?? Rob, I thought you had other meetings and demo classes to do? Did you do them all? Now I'm all confused? You were moving there but now you were going only for 2 weeks? You just contradicted everything you wrote before?
As for the class, you didn't say what you talked about. I think the first thing I would have done was to see what the level of english they knew? And take it from there.
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sorry to hear this news Rob. god luck with everything and
i really hope it works out well for the both of you
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?? Rob, I thought you had other meetings and demo classes to do? Did you do them all? Now I'm all confused? You were moving there but now you were going only for 2 weeks? You just contradicted everything you wrote before?
As for the class, you didn't say what you talked about. I think the first thing I would have done was to see what the level of english they knew? And take it from there.
Vince
Hi I will need to write this quick mate...
My original plan was a two week holiday...As you know because of K...
My back up plan was Moving here..
But could only do that If I got a full time job, with a Visa...
As My Speech is a big problem, I have to reconsider at the moment. And unfortunetly, my booked flight...is tomorrow which I couldn't change, for some reason...
Sorry for the confusion...
Updated
I had another couple of demo classes to do this Thursday and Saturday...If I was to stay and not get work from them. Then I fu....ed. No job, No money, No flight...
You will not get a working Visa or Perks when only doing part time.
These two jobs should I have gotten them (from Demo) would only have brought in 300 rmb a week... A flat cost minimum 1200 per month...
If I have no other jobs, then I cannot feed myself...
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Rob,
what about sending out your c/v to schools while your back
home? maybe that would help land something???
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Sorry to hear that Rob.
You should try to do a TEFL cert of some kind when you get back, it really will open doors for you I am sure.
Your story reads like a true romance mate, dont give up on Anne , she will wait for you if you are a good man for her and i am sure you would be if you can get work there.
I know the flight home will suck, I just went though that and i cried like a baby and i dont care, it is natural and if there one things the Chinese understand its love. You see it everywhere, from the respect of the elderly and the young, the old folk signing and dancing in the parks. I cried like a baby leaving GZ and i didn't get any funny looks at all, no look at the laowai doing something strange looks at all (which older folk do generally give with any cuddling or kissing in public), all i got was gentle kindness as the tears flowed as Sunny looked on from a distance as they checked my bags and scanned me for metallic objects.
I hope you can arrange work there mate, the love of a good woman like Anne is priceless.
We are all here behind you as you know, no matter what.
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Something I don't "really understand", in fact.
"She said YES, she is going to take me to the airport tomorrow".
So...
Did she really understand the sentence said by Rob or did she say "YES", without understanding and trying to guess what Rob asked to her?
On the other hand, if she really understood, then, she will have to wait, so will you too, Rob.
Well. Anyway you won something during your journey in China, first country you are visiting outside U.K, right? :)
So, go on ;)
As says Irishman', we're all behind you ;)
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Ok where do I start...Where do I start????
I suppose the best place would be me coming back from Rizhao. Oh Vince before I forget, the things I talked about in the demo, was and I will just make a list. That way it may help others who want to go down this road. Although they didn't work for me !!! It was my Scottish Language that failed me, not the subject matter...
List
My name...Including Chinese Name...
Age...
Married/Divorced/Seperated/Single...
Where Born...
Where Living...
Using Uk singular and as a whole, explaining how there are 4 Countries in GB...
Education...
Explaining Cetificates and showing them all including any Degree's you may have...USE PROPS
Work History...
May have to explain certain work to them...
Likes and Dislikes...
and the most Important one...WHY you come to China to live...
Other topics can include
types of food...
cars...
planes...
Countries (That you have experienced in going to...
Holidays...
The list can be endless...
So as you can see, there is no shortage of things to talk about...
Now back to Script.
Today while in Rizhao, Anne must have phoned me about 6 times to check on me. On the first call, I asked straight away how Fanyung was doing and if he was ok. The answer was 'Yes, he is ok". But she did share a few deletives concerning her uncle and his pooch, of course I am only summising this as it was in Chinese. I dare say HE will get a good telling off of when she sees him next...
Anyway I come back and gets ready to go and see her, I pick her up from her address, which I had written down, and then got someone in the hotel to scrib into proper Chinese for me and the taxi driver:icon_biggrin:
As we set off I phoned her to tell her "I was on my way", so she said "wait in the car I will be downstairs"
She comes down and there is a happy smile on her face and I think to myself 'Oh Shit, that will soon be gone':s We get to the restaurant the first one we were at (which is quite apt) and we get a seat by/near the window. We orders some drinks and food, my favourite so far Sichuan Hotpot, and she gets some Squid (YUK) As she was eating that I thought, no way am I kissing her tonight. haha But then it came to me, 'You still gotta tell her!!!':huh:
I wait until the meal is over and I start with. "Anne, sweetheart:-/, You know where I was today and the job interview I went for?" She say's "Yes, tut, I talked to you all day:huh:"., that cracked me up. Her answers again will be in brackets. "Well I never got it." (Smiles right across her face..."Oh why?"). So I explained about the language difference etc, and all she could say was '"BUT I understand you!!!" This was harder than I planned.
So again, I explained a bit more in better detail, so she nods her head, as if to say Ahhh right. I told her that I needed this job so I could stay here in Qingdao. Now this lady is NOT as DUMB as it seems here...("Your Staying here"... Smiles again) So I rub my the top of my brow because by now I was getting perplexed. So I took her face in my hands, made her look strauight at me, and I nodded NO...Again this is wher the shit hits the fan so to speak, the tears appear. "But why, you good teacher!!!" is all I can hear her say, and at that I'm totally lost for words because the emotion is now setting in within me. I asked the waiter to "watch our table that we would be right back", he saw that she was crying now, BLOODY HELL, so did everyone in China I think. Anyway, we are at the door and I get her calmed down and tell her, I will be only away for 12 weeks (tears again) Now I'm thinking to myself, how the feck am I going to get this better and make her understand. So I say lets wipe away the tears and go back upstairs.
This she does but they are like a continues stream... We get back to the table and I can see everyone looking at me and possibly thing Bloody laowei:s, so as she sits down I move closer to er and bring out the ring, that I had bought the other day (before I run out of money) I opened the box and presented it to her, sayin, "Wo ai ni, Anne... I love you, will you marry me?" (well it was no good me going down all my knees lol). The tears came and she took the ring put it on the wrong finger, which I then had to show her which one, and she said YES:icon_cheesygrin:. Once that word come out she flung her arms around me AGAIN, and kissed me right there in the middle of the place...Some people saw this and shouted and clapped, well mostly the ladies...
The waiter came over and asked if we would like a drink, because his manager had seen this and was really happy for us.. We said thanks and just got a fruit juice. After I paid the bill, she said "you come home with me?". Anne went to the bathroom and when she came back out, I saw the tears again, but when she came up and I was starting to ask what was wrong she said "it's Ok". We left with many people patting her and my shoulder, so I was pleased at this... We decided to walk to mine so I could get changed again, tonight I felt all sweaty under my arms. We got her and I logged in for a few minutes. and then left to go to hers. We get a taxi again and we set off, just as we pull into her street, she sees her sister (mother had the boy), so she stops the car, I pay and she jumps out and RUNS to her sister and shows her the ring. The two of them hug and when I get over, she gives me a hug too:icon_biggrin:
Whats going through my mind!!! That's right MOTHER and UNCLES:s
We get upstarirs and all I can hear aprt from the clunk clunk of her shoes, is her singing away to herself, even though she has my arm I'm feeling NERVOUS...We get in and mother comes rushing out and shouting something in Chinese and starts hugging Anne and myself??? Little did I know that, when she was in the bathroom she had phoned her mother and told her. I thought they always done this face to face???
Anyway, not long til I'm finshed!!!
Mother hurriedly runs into the kitchen and mkes some tea while me and Anne sit on the couch, like 2 love sick teenagers, smiling and talking quietly to each other. She asks afetr Fanyung and is told "Ok"... Then it DAWNED on me:exclamation:... All this I think, the mother and sister being happy was because of last night??? Well that's what I want to believe...
Anyway, once everyone go to bed we are on our own for the first time since this morning...And what the guys say about them knowing things you wouldn't believe is true. I won't go any further!!!. We speak about the flight tomorrow and her mood darkens, I try to make light of it, but it's cutting me to the quick thinking about it. So we make plans for her to come to mine at 9.30 to pick me up and go up town for an hour or so.
Three hours (roughly) passes by so quickly and I tell her I have to go for a taxi, to get some sleep. Haha the little minx all she can say is "You sleep on the plane!!!", Finally I persuade her and we walk dowstaires.. We get a taxi and the routine starts, 'You promise you be back?", so again I take the lead and tell 'Don't worry, I love you". At that she is satisfied so we hug (TIGHTER than she had done before) asnd share a tender kiss.. And here I am fully awake at 04.18 China time telling you guys my sorry tale...
I [/size]really Must get some sleep...
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Was gonna say the wee laddie is up a little late? ha, and i'm not referring to your height....:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin: i'm really happy for you bro, you have found your lady at last, she sounds lovely. Did you say she has a sister...? :icon_cheesygrin: i'm looking forward to your next instalment. All the best to you both...
Andy..
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Rob, I just got home from work and found out what is going on with you. It sucks about the job situation. But you came up aces finding
your lady. I am happy for the both of you about that. Maybe the job searching will turn around for you when you return to China. If that is what you decide to do. Good luck to you and Anne.
Don
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Rob buddy I'm really happy to hear that it is working out with the lady.But what the hell are you thinking.You could of changed the ticket.You could of told the airline almost anything.And they wouldn't of charged you to much.I used to do it all the time.
If you were going to loose the hotel room.We probably could of found you a cheaper room.Or your lady could of helped and done a much better job then us.
Improvise adapt and over come.They would of played hell with me to get me on that plane.Come to think of it they did.I can't count the number of times.My wife had to come find me and make sure I made the plane.
Rob the point is you almost made it out of the box you ben living in.But you let it suck you back in.But all hope is not lost you met the beautiful lady.The beautiful lady agreed to marry you.Your ladies mom likes you.So your at least on your way.
Good story good writing.Keep it up.
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Ok...This is going to be my last post until I reach England...
It's 09.02 China time, and I'm up and showered...Now drinking a coffee Mike (at last...lol)
I am waiting for Anne to show up...And everything is racing through my mind...I went to bed this morning about 4.45 and woke up at 6.15. I am Bloody Knackered....
A s I sit here, I think back to all the guy's that have made this incredible journey and had to do the same thing I will be doing in a few hours...:huh: The thoughts that they had, although we are not all alike, are probably the same....WHY, why do I have to go back....:@ You guy's were probably thinking what about what I am now...Your arrival and subsequent meeting with your ladies. What your first words to her were...The first time she touched you (not sexually)... The first time you go in for a kiss... Haha the KISS hahahaYour first real meal together... Her temper tantruns...... The first time you made love to her... I bet each and every one of these thoughts, as your reading this post are coming back to you...
Is there anything I have missed...
I am sure that my story is a little unuel in that I think I succeedded where many have failed...Although THIS was a failed trip to begin with...If you can understand what i'm trying to say...
The airport goodbye, is SOMETHING I never contemplated until it dawned on me, that it would be (from last nights thoughts) tomorrow. Her crying in the restaurant really brought it home to me. It's not as if this was a little crying, thi seemed like a bloody flood. I remember seeing my ex cry quite badly one time, but that was nothing in comarison:s. I am just like Ronan and (probably) the rest of the guy's, trying to be strong for her. I know I will break down at some stage, and I know it's better to let it out...But I still want her to see a strong person, But I still want her to know that it's hurting like crazy...
I am sure that there are many love affairs that has started with 'Chance meetings'. But was this a chance meeting or was it FATE. I say this because, I was fated to come to China, the words from the brothers about needing a translator, finally 'sunk in' and I needed one. And of course was it FATE that one of the particular people I stop to help me HAS ONE and does the rest for me.
She said something in Chinese to me last night...It was about 18 words long...I have NO IDEA what it was , all I can rememeber is a couple of "Wo's" and a couple of "I's" and a "Shou" or "Zhou" thrown in for good measure. I will ask her to write it down for me later.
Chance meeting or fate, what ever it is I will be forever in it's debt. It has brought me to a beautiful, country (which I love, and it's funny to say that especially on a first visit). It has brought me a beautiful lady. And hopefully 'God Willing' it will bring me back safe to her...
I need to go... That was Anne at my door, hehe she is asking what I'm writing:blush:...
Anyway guy's thanks for your support and your ears. I will give you my overall thoughts about my trip and about the goodbye at te airport when I reach Barrow...
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Greetings Brothers,
Jeez Rob I dont log in for a couple days and the whole world changes with you!!!
First congrats to you and Anne regarding the engagement, well done there.
Second how soon could you return to China if you had a job?
Third, are you still in contact with Joyce from Linkesl? She will keep looking for a job for you so keep in touch with her. Also I will keep checking here with regard to a job with the school I am with. I am the only native english teacher here, we also have one from Italy, Morocco and the Philipinnes, so they must be kinda desperate, also there is apparently one fron one of the... 'istan' countries but I havent seen him so who knows. Also this organization has schools in quite a few cities so maybe we can find something there.
So if an italian and a moroccan can teach english why not a Scotsman? It is the Queen's english after all and the Queen is Scottish so whats the problem? Just speak slower and very clearly and things should work out. I have had some of my advanced students say how easy it is to understand me so why do I speak slowly so I speed up to normal and they get the point heheh.
Anyway let me know how soon you could return if you found a job so I can check things out, just keep in mind you will need to support yourself for at least a month before you get paid and they wont reimburse the airfair until at least half way through the contract so be prepared for that.
Sincerely,
Zhen and Brian
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Yes a great trip report, although I thought you were going out there to live :huh:.
When you come home you will know why I became a bit unhinged. Only brothers who have done what we have and gone to China will know what it's like. For the first month back the 24 hour rule becomes more important than ever. Just make sure you keep her thinking that you love her, that seems to be the key to this :heart:.
I guess finding a teaching qualification is your best bet. Or do what Willy and I are doing and establish lots of little Internet businesses. At the Uni where I work they do an MSc in teaching English as a foreign language. I guess this would be overkill but there must be some easier certificates to obtain. It's not easy to find work in Asia though, if it was then most of the men in England would move to Thailand!
Also you should enrol on a Mandarin course, then you get to learn Chinese and you get to see language teaching in action :icon_cool:!
Good luck!!!
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Hi guys I know I said I would update you once I reached England...BUt, as you probably figured out I need a bit of a comp fix. I'm in Hong Kong for the next 7 hours waiting for my flight to london at the moment:huh: Gonna be a long night!!!
Well as promised Anne turned up this morning right on the button, so we decided to go up town as I didn't haver to be at the plane toll 12ish, I think it was?
Any way she is very very quiet and of course I know why...But what can I do to stop her feeling like this except try and put a brave face on it. Which under the circumstances I tried but failed miserably...We ger into this cafe and she sits really close to me with her hand on my leg...I tell you now, the way I was feeling, there was no way, I could have done anything, or wanted too. Although I suppose I could have let her really;-)
For the next hour she is on and on about, how she hopes that I will be back..Of course now that I've read abit more I know about the insercurities...So what I done was, I said to her, "I have a few things I would like you to keep for me, for when I return will that be ok?" She said "Ol, and a little smile came omn he face" I kept whispering in her her, "Wo ai ni, and that I will miss you". I did not know, in fact (I thought she didn't) she gave me a qq number, her email addresss and her work number. Making me promise that I would be in touch all the time. At this I was delighted.. So I said I would. So as soon as i get online again I will set up a QQ account which I don't have just now. So Please Mike I hope you will help me with this...
We started heading back and I held her hand, (remember the way I was feeling about that the other day!,,Well I wanted to do it. We got into the hotel and I find that there is a note for me from the manager of the hotel? It was a list of schools that she knows that are also looking for teachers. so this is good, when I show them to Anne her face lights up..She mentions that "everyone wants you to stay" so I nod but feeling really down and upset..BUT still not showing it...
We go upstarirs and just lay together again holding and kissing,,, I go to the bathroom then when I come out my alatm goes off...It's time to go...We leave the room and she is walking behind mme. I can her her sob softly, I cant do anything with these cases:huh:
Mike you were right, the airport is a long way out...It seemed to drag on for about 2 hours. Not a lot was said going to the airport, she just lay head head on my shoulder and held me tight..
Once there, we wenyt to a corner and I started to unpack a few things for her to take home for me. Teaching books, some clothes, my cd's and I gave her a gold cross and chain that my mother had bought me 22 years ago, She knows HOW pprecious this is too me..So I think she got the message I was coming back...Anyway we walk up and I put my bag through, I still have an hour and 15 minutes before boarding.. I don't want to go into too much detail here. But Ronan I NOW KNOW what you went through. I had kept my emotion in check til then. We bot hsat crying together. Before I went into the gate, she told me she "loved me", and then said "Rob, PLEASE BELIEVE THIS". I have no doubt in my mind that this is true.. The time came and it was like trying to tear yourself away BUT you just can't..I knew it had to be done, so I finally gave her a lst lingering kiss. Wiped away a tear from her eye and said I love you...
As like others I looked back, and she was in bits there and then...It makes me wonder what it was that has made it right for us? Why has she (and I, for that matter) fallen so hard ...so quick? Once on the plane before take off, i called her and we said our final goodbyes just as the plane took off. Once i arrived in HK...The first thing I done was call her to make sure she was ok...And she was...She wants me to phone her tonight about 11, because she knows the plane was going to be late, and she wants to say good night to me.
JimB once gave a brother a piece pf advice (as well as others) and that was NEVER break a promoise to them... I made a promise, and I will NOT break it, I will call at least twice a day and send her gifts, as well as QQ when it's sorted... Well guys going to go now speak later...Still feeling a little down, although I know it will pass...
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Rob, the brothers here know how you feel. There is not much to say at this point but we all share your anguish at leaving. it is crazy how we make this journey, it is nuts, we cause ourselves so much anguish but in the end, it is worth every bit of it. Just ask Arnold and a couple of others here who have their wives with them now. Like Brett said the 24 hours rule is sacrosanct right now. Your head can go in all different directions, DONT LISTEN TO IT. Until you have thought it through. You have had heartbreak and now you have love. A hard journey, but when you find the right one, man is it worth it.
Once you have convinced her that you are a man of your word. She will give herself completely to you. All of the love she has to give will be yours. Heart, mind and soul. What a gift that is.
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Rob,
All I can say is that you got me crying.
Shaun
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Rob,
All I can say is that you got me crying.
Shaun
Man , that makes two of us Shaun .
Rob , you have more in Anne ... then any Job could have given you . That part of your " NEW " Life will also come to you .. most likely sooner than later . With a Lady's Love in your Heart , everything becomes positive even unpleasant situation's .
Thank you for sharing you're Journey with us .
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Rob,I was writing loads , but it boils down to - tell her you miss her and what you are doing to get together again.
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Five star thread? Anyone? Or 6!:icon_cheesygrin:
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Rob, Mel Gibson knows jack squat about brave heart. You have just remade the movie :heart:
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this story is getting so juicy don't stop now, keep writing. It's like the great chinese novel... I thought willy was fast....:icon_cheesygrin:
If you get a phone call late at night it will probably be MGM or Warner Bros wanting to do a movie.....besides I'm in the middle of a great love novel and you put "continued next week" lord I hate that. I'd rather keep reading until you put her on the horse and ride off into the sunset.....
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I finally got to view the last of the jorney and what an ending, with another episode coming to a blog board near you. What a beautiful trip. I was right though last time we talked, I told you to go first and wa-la it worked. Your in the far turn and in the lead, now all you have to do is get around the near turn and don't be afraid to use the whip.....lol bring it across the finish and your in the winners circle my friend.
I think you did a splendid job. Move over willy, the compitition has arrived! By the way WHAH and SHUI in english is loosely translated
as "oh god" and "don't stop". You are the man of steel....lol You haven't been skimming off the top of willy's stash have you?
It was ment for you two to meet, so any other was nothing, Anne was waiting for you two to meet, it just took a little nudge, that's all. She is a good fisherman, she landed you hook, line and sinker.....haha (clever those chinese).
good luck my friend, I look forward to more of the story, hurry up and get off here and go call her right now.....and hide the bagpipes until your married...LOL
By the way, Ronald has no strings on that thing, he just likes to hold it....lol
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By the way, Ronald has no strings on that thing, he just likes to hold it....lol
Thats right - I need a crank on it in order to make any music. And you are right - a wonderful story for Rob. I wish him a speedy return to China.
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Hi guys...
Firstly let me thank you guys for your replies and best wishes. And Mike I will get qq sorted asap. Biggie it will be done also asap!!!
Well overall the journey starting from the hotel in Qingdao until I stepped foot inside the house in Barrow In Frness, took 23.5 hours. I was exhausted...And still am because I never slept much last night. In fact i finlly fell asleep about 3.30am and only got 4 hours. so I am still tired.:huh:
I she have spoken to Anne 3 times since hong kong, she was saying that she has not slept well or that she still feels a little upset. But, with hearing my voice again this has "made my sun come back" :icon_biggrin: She was concerned about the flight because there were delays leaving from Qingdao and Hong Kong, so 'm assuming she must have been keeping check on them... I felt like Sh.t while talking to her, because I KNOw I REALLY SHOULD STILL BE THERE:huh: But with life , you do have to take the good with the bad. I told her that when I come back, I want us to go to Beijiing and walk the wall, and spend a few days there. I , then also asked her if there was anything she wanted to do, the minx said "I will think about it and laughed loudly?". I asked if she put my stuff by for safety, she mentioned that "they are IN THE BANK except for my cross which is around her neck, she says she has been rubbing it every couple of hours to feel close to me???
Anne's mom came on the phone and said "Ni hao, Lob", which made me smile. The old woman is very nice not tatsted her food yet, but if anything the brothers have said about their in laws, is anything to go by, then I am looking forward to it... Anne came back on the phone and she again was laughing, so I asked why?..She said my mum said "She going to kill you for making her daughter very unhappy, after you 2 get married first". So I laughed at that, this was the first time that I had smiled properly since I left China.
W both again professed our love and found it hard to finish the phone call...Has anyone esle noticed how femimine and soft spoken the ladies are in China? Or was i imagining that??
I wil wait another day or two before putting my overall thoughts down, at the moment I feel shattered, and still emotionally drained, so bear with me guys please. Oh one more thig before I go, remember the day on the bus she mentionedher age,41.. Well I was lookng at some ics I have and to be honest she looks between 20~25, or is that me hoping lol... The age differnce between us (11 years) I think is just about right. The pics I have jusst now I will try to attach just now, but remember they are not that good a quality...
We spoke for about 2 hours about three hours ago, so i will sleep better tonight:heart:. i read some where that you should phone when you know what time they goto bed and for when you know they get up. that way THEY will know YOU are thinking about them all the time.
As promised Willie phoned me and gave me some numbers for cheaper calls, so thanks very much mate. Maxx mentioned to me (and I think it's a good idea for everyone) to keep in touch with some of those that's there. n more than one occasion will the Londoner (Even if he is English haha) was a tower of strength for me:icon_biggrin:
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Ha ha ha, I really miss not being able to buy my fruit from the back of a lorry. Welcome back Rob and make sure you observe the 24 hour rule. Oh and it will probably take a fortnight to recover from the trip so take it easy.
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Welcome back Bro, guess you are now counting the days till your next visit? :) Glad your back safe n well, yep those long flights are a killer eh? All the movies i got were in Chinese with no subtitles.... i must remember a book next time...:icon_cheesygrin:
On another note, i have my first date with a new lady tomorrow, but she still has not let me seen a picture of her yet....:huh: Ha! least i can not complain about the photoshopping right? :icon_cheesygrin:
Andy....
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Rob, what a fox for sure,(and I don't mean you)...lol , still don't understand how a crusty old fart like you managed to land such a beautiful young lady like Anne. It's gotta be the money....hahaha
Hey bro, you are one lucky son of a gun. But where's all that traffic you were talking about
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Maybe it was as Maxx mentioned in one of the threads...That I was like a little lost puppydog!!!:blush:
Or
It could have been the fact that when I am on 'song'....I'm on song.....lol:icon_biggrin:
Or
As I said in one of my postings in this thread, maybe....JUST maybe, She saw the potential and thought 'F..k, I WANT INTO HIM....( The Celtic Charm !!!!)...LOL....:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::angel:
Seriously though...It could be down to the fact that i HAVE always been able to Sweettalk any female....Apart from this brotherhood, I have more female friends than male ones...
Wills, Would i count the days???...lol
No pics eh...Expect not a lot and hopefully you will be pleasantly surprised...
Rocky thanks mate...But i am NOT going to CHARGE HER....lol
Feck it can't be the money, I aint got none and she knows it...
Who NOSE mate, if you look again at me I seem to have a rather largs conker, so may she equated that with dongle size...i will aske her WHY Me?........ just for you rocky hahaha
If I'm honest and I have already said this here, what did SHE see in me!!!
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Rob,
Great story and great pictures. Does she have a younger sister, yours is a little old for me. :icon_cheesygrin: Hey wait a minute I've got a girl. :dodgy: Never mind. :-/ Anyway Rob, I'm happy for you. Get back there ASAP.
Shaun
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I am on my way to China on Sunday morning having been in the UK for three days. Brett why does travelling affect you. Now Scottish_rob, AKA Wishee Washee Jock, will soon be a global jet setting playboy the way he is going. Your a great guy Rob - BUT if I had known what a cracker she was then maybe I should have had you deported and then gone round to console her!!!
You know that would have been one more thing that I would have been pleased to do 'for you'!!!!!!:icon_cool::icon_cool:
willy
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Rob, dont question it, just enjoy it. I know they are all too good for us. I tell my wife every day how lucky I feel for having her as my Laopo. She says she is the lucky one. So I say see I told you so. It took her a while to catch on. Rob, I will be back in and around Beijing the whole month of February. So anyone who is there can call and get together.
Mr. & Mrs. Burk
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Ok guys expect a long one here. As promised I have had few more hours sleep and I am now ready to portay my thoughts on my trip and subsequent 'Whirlwind Romance', the 'good' and 'bad'...
At 00.00 on the 14th November I stepped into my mates car for the journey to Manchester Airport (England) Just as we started to pull away, a 'Flood' of emotions came rusing into my mind. I will start with the first one, EXCITEMENT. I had been excited for months in the lead up to this moment, except in the 4 weeks previous, and you all know why, it sort of shattered my feeling. Anyway in the car I started to feel excited again because I was going on what was basically my first 'proper' holiday. My first proper flight, and the first time of me going outside of the UK. So I took one last long look at my house as we pulled away and my heart started to race faster.:fi_lone_ranger:
Within minutes I started to feel 'GUILTY'. Guilty because. I knew that although this was a holiday I had organised, I also knew that i was going to be searching for work in the hope of staying there in China. The guilt arose because I was leaving my 2 boy's here in England, with my grandchildren. And also leaving
my 2 daughters who are living in Scotland with the rest of my grandchildren.:s
As the car drove along i wondered 'IF' I would ever see theis beautiful countryside again in the near future.
my mate knew about my plans and kept saying 'Keep in touch and look after yourself' which was unusel because he is NOT the type of guy who normally talks like that, he NEVER EVER shows his feelings. Once we reached the airport as you know, caused me to be there 2 hours longer. It was in the lounge when I started to feel a little 'SCARED'. Scared about the plane rides, I mean you here so many things about terrorism etc and these STUPID thoughts came into my mind.:huh:
When the time came to board, I knew that this was the step I needed to take, and there would be no turning back. I remember seeing planes on the tv and seeing a large screen in the front where everyone watched it. But to my surprise, this wasn't the case. The tv's were on the back of the seats that are in front of you, and you had the choice of fils, radio, cd's to listen too etc. We arrived in London Heathrow in just over an hour, this wasn't so bad I remember thinking:icon_biggrin:
I mention earlier that I met a young lady from Beijiing, (Oh she called me yesterday BTW). The staff were not as helpful as I thought they would be. I expected (I Think) to be lead by the hand through all the stages, being a NOVICE FLYER I expected more help. On the plane to Hong Kong (HK) i got talking to the people that were sat next to me, so all was good, they were English so NO language problems. In we were shuttled to the next departure point, as i alighted from the bus, i qickly lit up a cigarette an was promptly told (firmly) NO SMOKING.. from this point we had to walk for ages to get to the lounge to wait for boarding. it wasn't too long a wait which was fine, my excitement had returned and all I wanted to do was get there.
I took some pictures from the plane of HK and the clouds (as you do hehe), and after 12.5 hours of flying we started to land. After getting my cases, and as I andered through customs, I began to feel 'SORROW'. i felt this way because I knew that this was going to be the day I was meeting Kathy, so many thoughts of her came flooding into my mind. As i walked through the throng of those waiting for their loved ones, i hoped that jennifer had remembered that I was arriving and hoped that she AT least would meet me.. As you know her sister and her husband (Julie and Choochoo) was there to greet me, which made me feel NOT so ALONE. the car journey to the hotel I told you about, but, what did go through my head on the first sight of Qingdao was 'There was no chance I could live in this!!!'
Once at the hotel, which was nice and clean with internet, which was lucky because my laptop wouldn't work. In my room was a tv, couch, table, and somewhere to put my shoes etc and also a kettle and phone. The staff were really very nice and pleasant, and very helpful. after dumping my cases, we went to the restaurant to meet Jennifer, I was really NERVOUS about this. Now remember guy's I had a beef with her, because she blamed ME for what happened about Kathy, so I was NOT looking forward to this. As Mike said, "better keeping her sweet she will be your best contact while there". Once she arrived and we got introduced, we both apologised about the emails, and realised that the emails both ways had been wrongly interpreted.. After the meeting I was driven back to the hotel, and after a short rest I went for my first view of the place.
Here is my thoughts on some of the things I noticed.
Driving
The driving in China is Manic and bloody mad...These people don't seem to notice that there are others on the road, be it cars or pedestreans.. The come around corners, out of alleyways without looking. many times the cars will be within mm's of each other..BUT the noise of Honking Cars, that makes me smile...
Drinking
Apart from my night in KTV, I never saw anyone drink or drunk. Fighting, I never saw one, except an arguement between Anne and her uncle, but you know the story.
People
They were all friendly, excepta couple who just walked past when I asked them a question... It could have been they did not want to try and understand the plight of a Western Gwiloi The always seem to have a smile on their face, unless it was me they were smiling at!!! I don't care, seeing smiling peole makes a holiday for me.
Cleanliness
The city itself was very clean, always people sweeping and clearing up.
Only once did I see any graffiti. I mean clean in that there was no garbage or paper strewn on the pavements or roads.
I have asked myself this question since I got back...Would I have enjoyed my time there, if I had NOT met Anne.. I spoke to willie this morning and mentioned same to him. His answer...YES...Because you would have meet someone else.... Maybe he is Right, or maybe he is wrong, we shall never know now?. The thing I do know, I have one dissapointment from my trip, and that was not getting a job. This trip has has been said by others here, has MANY, MANY pluses.
I know in my heart I intend going back, the main reason of two is of ofcourse for my love ANNE, the second one is to prove to myself that I can get a job.
On my return from China, there were of course much sorrow on my part. BUT, the one thing i remember thinking was , that I am only comming to Barrow, it is NO LONGER my home Home is where the heart is...AND MY HEART IS IN CHINA, WITH ANNE AND FANYUNG...
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This trip has has been said by others here, has MANY, MANY pluses.
Great story in a condensed form Rob. Your story was a whirlwind of emotions, even if lived vicariously. And the many, many PLUSES - that is your :heart: Pulsing - many many Pulses. Life should be an adventure and I am glad you are alive and kicking :icon_cheesygrin:
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Rob,
I posted this, in this thread...post #5...Do you believe???:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Jim
[/quote]
Jim....
YES mate NOW I believe:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
I meant to post a couple of thoughts about somethings that we are always mentioning.
(1)...Maxx's 24 hour rule
(2)...Different Country, Different Culture.
THESE TWO, should always be in yor thoughts, WHY...BECAUSE they are INVALUABLE. Both of these became VERY useful to me, especially number 2.
I am just off the phone to her,:heart: we both expressed our love, and I swear I could hear her sob gently, which of course, here in the UK it made me do the same.:huh: I REALLY DO NOT know how the guy's who have wives, long term girlfriends over there, survive. It has been less than a week for me, and it is breaking me up!!!! To those of you who have the above mentioned, YOU have my utmost respect, I don't know how you manage to survive.
Ronan, what you mentioned in your last post here I am doing. She is pleased that I am doing what I can to get back there.
God guy's isn't LOVE strange???:heart::heart:
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I remember it being the electronic store! Rob!
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I remember it being the Electronics store too.
Shaun
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Guys....LOL
I HAD just LEFT an Electronic store, walked up the stairs outside and saw her walking along the street towards me....LOL:icon_cheesygrin:
Remember I mentioned about the laptop I got, well because of the cost of it (£50.00), it was really crappy...So have put it into a store now to get it all updated , so may not be online as much as I used to for a week or two. So when I come back I will post more pictures then...
This morning I got a text when In woke up which read in mixed chinese and English...
Ni Hao my Darling
Wo ai ni very much Rob, wo Xiang ni please hurry back to me.
My heart is with you there in England...
Ming bai?
I love you
Anne xx
This made my heart pump faster and has given me the resolve to make and do everything I can to get back to this woman...
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You know what I am going to say Rob, get rid of the fags and in little over ten weeks you will have the airfare. If that is not an incentive I do not know what is? (To non UKs I mean his smoking and not his sexual preferences)
I presume that Anne is a non smoker so just think what kudos you will receive from her you having stopped the habit just to get back to her sooner rather than later.
You do realise that when you kiss her your making her a really passive smoker!!!!!
Keep smoking and it will not only be Anne making your heart pump faster!!
You are only doing everything you can to get back to her if you kick the habit now.
No need to wait for the end of a carton, show her how much she means to you and do it TODAY and get back to China faster........... Here endeth todays lesson!!!!!
You knew that was coming didn't you!!!
Willy
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willy,
ok baba quit lecturing your son he has a mind of his own hahahaha
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Ted - No one has mind of their own where Cigarettes are concerned. Marry a Chinese women and that problem starts again BUT they say that cigarettes are more addicted than heroin but not sure about that - used one regularly but never touched the other. But that is no reason to keep someone away from their love longer than is necessary!!!! Its hard on the women and on my phone bills.
The shop girls down by McDonalds want to know when Daddy is coming back. They miss you!!!!
Will probably call you tomorrow as awaiting a reply from the Consulate in Guangzhou about an appointment.
Willy
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Baba took your advice...2 days without a smoke now...
Been out all morning droping off Cv's trying to get some work to help towards going back...Bloody 30 of them I dropped off...
Anne and I spoke for about 2 hours last night. God too me she has the softest, gentlest voice you could ever wish to hear....:icon_biggrin:
The lucky guys on here who have their ladies, and waiting to go back to them are RIGHT...IT'S Fecking hard, being sooooo far away from them, and all you want to do is hold them in your arms...:huh:
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Daddy? as in "who is your daddy"? What have you been up to Rob...LOL That sounds like Willy, hanging out at the malt shop....ha ha ha ha
By the way, smoking is so hard to quit, I've been smoking for years and have tried so many times to quit, then some a**hole lights one up next to you and you just have to have one, so hang in there...
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Rob,
Good luck on the no smoking. I quit almost 24 years ago. It wasn't easy but it wasn't the most difficult thing I have ever had to do either. It is within the top 10 best things I ever did. I will tell you this. Girls like the way you taste a lot better after you quit. Just a thought. :angel:
Shaun
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I never heard a complaint about the way I tasted, except for the wicked witch that tryed to cook me when I was young,, she had a ginger bread house.....haha
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Hi Rob.
Well firstly I would like to congratulate you and your fiancée and wish you all the best for the future. She is really beautiful girl. I have read all twenty pages of your thread and followed your story closely, wow your are very resilient and lucky all rolled up in one. (And I thought it was just the luck for the Irish)he he. You are also very good at expressing yourself in your writing.
Now that you are home and being apart from her, this I find is a difficult period of the relationship, well that is how it has been for me. What I have done is keep in close contact with my fiancée with messaging and texting each other. We have been separated for over 2 months now, and we are moving into the planning stage of our marriage and visa application for her.
If I was to give you any advice it would be keep your chin up and try to get some work as you now have a new life and motivation. It is a long and lonely process being in love with someone on the over side of the world, everything seems to move slowly.
Please keep us posted on any developments and all the best.
From Gen and Alan.
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Glad to hear the news Rob my son.
Every day that passes is going to get you nearer to Anne. Do not kid yourself that just a fag here and there is OK.
Every cigarette you do not take shows just how much to want to get back to China.
Every fag you stick in your gob is a slap in the face for Anne who is looking to you to fulfil your promise to her.
You and I know how much cigarettes cost in the UK (close to 90 USD for a carton of 200) and for you to go back to smoking may well cost more than just your health.
Give him encouargement gents.
I know Anne will not object to his smokers breath - well his mouth is at upper chest level - lucky sod!!!!!
Here endeth todays lesson.
Baba Willy
PS sent another card details by PM
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You can do it Rob. I'm doing it too. Had 1 cigarette in 2 days.
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All this talk of smoking makes me want to light up another one, cough-hack-wheeze, cough cough, gotta quit-gag. If your really interested, and it's really hard to do, try the patch and believe me it works, but will cost a few bucks but it's worth it. When I was in the hospital, nothing but patchs and they worked! Till someone (after i got out) lit one up next to me and ruined it all. But, since then, I have cut down a lot to just a few a day, so hang in there.:idea:
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Think, $10 a pack and a pack a day = $3650 a year. That's a lot of Anne time :)
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Hardest thing i ever did but the most rewarding. Stopped getting chest colds every winter and I learned how to drive . Had to do something to keep my mind occupied so took many driving lessons and drove just about everywhere on my days off work! It worked, I passed my driving test :)
Fast forward to now and don't ever get urges any more and my wallet thanks me.
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Rob,
You can do it. If I could then you can. I was the worst until the final time. Many years ago my mother used to hound me about smoking. Finally I quit. She was happy at first, two weeks in she begged me to go back to smoking. I guess my attitude and temper were really bad so I went back. The final time was much better. I had a reason of my own. You own reason is always better than anyone else's.
Getting back to my honey would be enough for me. Besides quitting and saving the money for back to China will get you many bonus points with Anne. Bonus point with your woman always count and tell her they count double on Wednesdays.
Rob, I tried to go hour by hour sometimes. i.e. I think I can make it one more hour. There were times I had to go minute by minute. Those minutes add up to hours which ad up to days, weeks, and years.
I tried the gum and the patch, I even tried hypnotism. Didn't work. To me your mindset is the only thing that will work. This is mind over matter. Rob your mind got you to China even after the terrible situation. If you can beat that then you can beat cigarettes.
Vince, I hope you are reading this too. The both of you can do it. You will have no regrets on this.
Shaun
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Hi guys thanks for the encouragement...
Still not had one, been chewing a lot of gum especially first thing in the morning. And it has also helped that I have been really busy looking for work, and trying to wheel and deal to get me back there.
I won't say at the moment because I don't want to, put the chicken before the egg, but I done something yesaterday (NO... not rob a bank lol) that JUST may (GOD WILLING) get me back to her quicker than expected...
I spoke to her also about my quitting the ciggies and SHE was WELL pleased. Firstly for my health, and secondly as Willy pointed out, smokers breath. She tells me that when I get there 'SHE' will get me RIGHT back to fitness....NOW now guy's I think she means by walking:icon_cheesygrin:. Annes mother again spoke to me a little yesterday, " Baoshong hao Rob", then as usual she went into Chinese mode, which cracks me up listening to it. I have mentioned to Anne the plans that I have in place for going back. She told me as i was talking that she is rubbing the ring I got her, and she often does this. The funny thing is, every day and night I find myself rubbing the jade Buddha that she bought me, and it makes me feel close to her..
Has this also happened to others on here? In that, since I came back I am getting up really early in the morning UK time, and only getting a few hours sleep??? This morning I had my chinese lesson for two hours and it seemed that, once hearing the sounds (Tones) while after being there, it came a little easier to learn. I'm not saying Chinese is easy, but it's slightly easier because I was there, has anyone else found this?
Vince KEEP up the good work man...I know it's hard but we CAN do it...All the best buddy
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Hi Rob,
I'm not sure how much smokes cost in London, how much you smoke(d) and this idea does seem really TVish, but have you tried a smoker's jar? Find a large jar (like one of those pickling jars they have in pubs to hold pickled eggs) and set it somewhere you hang around in. Every time you normally would light up, you put the price of a cigarette into the jar (or the price of a pack if it's a pack a day). If you do this religiously, you will get it full in no-time.
The concept is that you have a goal. When you can see how close you are to filling the jar (which should have enough money to pay for a ticket and hotel in China if it's big enough), then it's easier to motivate yourself to your goal.
Like I said. The idea is a bit campy (I've only seen it on TV...never seen anyone REALLY do this, but it might help motivate you...just remember to label the jar so you remember what the jar is for... :)
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Great going Rob ... buddy . It's easy for us to say stop smoking , but you doing it out of Love for Anne is also making it easy for you . I would have a good size Photo of your Sweetheart in every Room of the House and whenever I would has the urge to light up .. I'd see her and that is all I would need to put it down .. but throw it OUT .
Hope to see you back in her Arms again soon . Most of us here know what it's like being apart / away from the one you Love , so we must practise patience and make best use of the time / communication you do have together .
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Hey Rob, what she means by getting you back in shape is lots of exersize, and Chinese food...healthy food. Looks like your going to be on the lettuce diet for a while (rabbit food). I don't know how much they smoke over there at the time, or even how much a pack of ciggies is, and they are proabley chinese tobbaco. Willy probably knows the price, even though he don't smoke.
I went to a no-smoke clinic, and even though this sounds strange, it was suggested that you could chew tobbaco (like coppenhagan) and it would give you that nicotine intake you crave. This of course is the theory, before the advent of chewing gum, patches, etc. which are also loaded with nicotine. I will try the patch for a while and see if that works for me. Only bad thing about patchs, is that if you lite one up, while wearing the patch, you stand a good chance of having a heart attack. With this threat hanging over my head, I of course don't lite a ciggerett up, perhaps its the threat that makes me think. But the patch does take away the urge, I can tell you truthfully that it does.
Perhaps, I didn't use them long enough in the hospital. Another thing is what are you going to do with all the spare time. You see we lite up to kill time or to kill the boredom of waiting or because there is nothing to do. Keep busy is what they told me, and it will keep your thoughts centered on what you are doing, and not the sigs, then follow up with the patch and you can get through it. At least that is what they told me at the clinic I went to. Oh and I almost forgot, they said to go away from anyone or anyplace that has a lit ciggerett or a smoky room because it causes the thought to come back. Best of luck quiting, I hope this helps you my friend, and may you see your Anne soon.
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Everybody in China seems to smoke. Even Miss Wu has a cheeky ciggie sometimes. Her old man told me the best brand to buy to take home with me. We'll smoke them at Christmas. I think they were about £2 a packet, but I gather Hubei Province is known for its exceptionally fine tobacco. They certainly seemed expensive to me.
The wierd thing is that the Chinese seem to be OK with having the occasional ciggie. Perhaps they know the secret of cultivating non-addictive tobacco. Or maybe the cost of ciggies means they are a luxury like cigars are over here :icon_cheesygrin:.
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Single pack of 20...(8 Mgs they were called) 6 Rmb...Carton of 200... 58 Rmb
Still being lucky enough to stay off them so far...
Not heard from Anne in a couple of days, she IS busy with the shop...Although I have heard from her in texts:icon_cheesygrin::angel:
NOW for HOPEFULLY the GOOD NEWS...
Remember I mentioned about not going back until March...WELLLLLLLLL.....Because of the plans I put in place as soon as I got back, it seems like they just may bear 'FRUITION':icon_biggrin:...NOW my plan is getting back a whole 4 weeks earlier than originally mentioned...
I can't wait:huh:
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Single pack of 20...(8 Mgs they were called) 6 Rmb...Carton of 200... 58 Rmb
Still being lucky enough to stay off them so far...
Not heard from Anne in a couple of days, she IS busy with the shop...Although I have heard from her in texts:icon_cheesygrin::angel:
NOW for HOPEFULLY the GOOD NEWS...
Remember I mentioned about not going back until March...WELLLLLLLLL.....Because of the plans I put in place as soon as I got back, it seems like they just may bear 'FRUITION':icon_biggrin:...NOW my plan is getting back a whole 4 weeks earlier than originally mentioned...
I can't wait:huh:
You have got to be more precise Rob. You know the whole of China is on stand by for you to return in March. There may be Chinese Government questions as to whether they are able to deal with your presence earlier than planned.
The women need some time to complete their ARC lessons. that is Anti Rob Chatup lessons.
Willy
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Good stuff Rob, you will be there in time for the New Year celebrations, should be great!
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If you go to Beijing, definitely try the "Guolizhuang Restaurant"
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Well, When the time comes I would have wanted to call my adventure the same topic name as this is. So I'll have to come up with another. In a few months time everything from the past will be wiped away... everything. So it is a New Life. Selling everything, even where I live.
Along with the travel to China I told my lady I would stop smoking. She's ok with it but she says it would healthier not to smoke. Well I'm still on course. It's been a few days, the urge is still and and creeps up at times but just continue on with what I'm doing. No Patches, no pills, after 40 something years of smoking it's just "No More".
Rob, how are you doing?
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Vince G: 1) when do you plan to go? 2) and where is this lady? 3) are you planning to move to China or bring her back?
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As of now? it's still up in the air when. Spring to late spring (June?) That would be Shenyang but we are going to do some traveling too. If the timing is right I have to go to Guangzhou for business reasons. So it's an all in one time there. Visit her, vacation and do business. Yes I'll be bring her back home. If things work out business wise we may stay in China a few months and here a few? This seems to be the plan.
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Hi Rob,
Just caught up with your thread, being in China and the aftermath didn't help ..., so I read it backwards :icon_cheesygrin: Wonderful story, I'm so happy for you!
Watch some BBC and repeat precisely what the man says, I'm sure you'll get a job soon, the rest seems already in place ...
If you find a trick to stay off the smokes, please share!
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Heck yes , I can only agree with Scott here . We have been waiting long enough for you Vince to finally see your Lady ( Song ) . :icon_cheesygrin: Any longer and we are getting more excited than you .. about that happening . Wish it all comes to be , as it looks at the moment .
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Congratz Vince. Hey? What aren't you guys telling Vince he should go right now? :icon_cheesygrin:
No really Vince I am happy for you and Song.
Shaun
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so what is new with rob lately?
havent seen much here on what he is
doing and how its going
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:angel:
Hey Vince, spent a week in ShenYang and I am sure that I saw your Song Bird at the local Budhist Temple Nunnery. Will post pictures next week. Hope you like really short hair!!!: Did have a good voice though.
Buzz
:icon_cheesygrin:
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Buzz you must have seen another. She has long hair shoulder length, She's not Buddhist and her singing voice isn't that good. It's OK. :icon_cool:
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Hi guys, computer not out of the shop yet, that's why not on here much at the moment.
Finding it a bit hard giving up the ciggies, although only had one since I been back...I used to reach for the pack as soon as my eyes were open, now I reach for my language homework...Hey it works for me...
Not much going on just now, got a couple of irons in the fire for me going back, so far it's looking good. Spoke with Anne a couple of times, although not as much as i would like too. She has been really busy at work. but everything going ok...
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One iron that was in fire...never worked, back up plan now in operation...:icon_biggrin:
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Rob, knowing your coming, she is busy firing all the cute employees, and replacing them with old hags, so you don't stray....:icon_cheesygrin:
Buzz you must have seen another. She has long hair shoulder length, She's not Buddhist and her singing voice isn't that good. It's OK. :icon_cool:
Vince, A nun :huh: LOL
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Been to the bank and put in for an overdraft, things are looking good for me getting it near Christmas ;-) Which in turn will help towards me getting back to see Anne. All this talking on the phone is fine but I just want to hold her, I know you guys know what I'm talking about. The feeling of her being in your arms is the best feeling in the world. I have had to do a couple of 24 hours rules, since I been back... This is the best rule that has ever been.
Anyway Will/Should get my comp back this week, so will be able to catch up on everything. God this site is like a drug hehe. By the looks of things I seem to have misssed a few things. In case I don't get my comp, all the seasons greetings to all of you. Have the best Xmas ever.
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We were all worried about you Rob. We was going to send out a search mission to find you in Barrow in Furness. But first we would have had to send a search mission to find where the hell Barrow in Furness is!!!
Willy
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Hi guys...
Willy, Barrow in Furness is in the north west.... Near Blackpool (Blackpool for all the non english peeps here is the Vegas of the UK)...LOL
Right mate now you know where it is, I was wondering ???...lol
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Ho ho ho Rob
Looks like your going to be in UK for Hogmanny. I bet Ann would like to have a lovely little scotch with her lovely little Scot!!! But I know she will save that until you do get back here. Or Would you like we to go first footing on new years day for you!!!!LOL :angel: Now where can I find a lump of coal and piece of haggis?????:icon_cool:
Have a good christmas and a better New Year
Probably ring you later if I still have credit.
Willy
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I have no Idea what in the Hell your both talking about, but I do know that you'll both have a great christmas, even though one of you is in china which I know where that is and the other Rob is at the end of the world from the discription you gave...LOL
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Barrow in Furness is not the end of the world Rocky, but you can see it from there!:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Happy Christmas to you Rob and may the next year see you back with your lady!
Ming Zhi, Paul
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It is just before you enter the black hole. -- Shaun
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Heres a link to what Barrow in Furness looks like
http://www.visitcumbria.com/sl/barrow.htm (http://www.visitcumbria.com/sl/barrow.htm) now you know what it looks like lol.
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Heres a link to what Barrow in Furness looks like rocky lol.
http://www.visitcumbria.com/sl/barrow.htm (http://www.visitcumbria.com/sl/barrow.htm)
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Thanks Victor ,
now we all know where OUR scottish Rob resides , for now at least . Looks like a very nice Town , pretty much like I had envisioned it all along .
To all a great and happy and healthy New Year .
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I see that there are five people walking on the street and one car driving along. Lucky the photographer went there on a BUSY market day otherwise there would have been no one about.
Or maybe that they heard that Rob is still in town and have all gone home to lock up their daughters!!!!!LOL
NICE Place Rob - cannot imagine for one minute why you want to leave it all behind!!!!!
Willy
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Hogmany in china..I WISH...Barrow is rubbish mate. I just wanna be in China with my lady and of course spend some time with you sweetheart...lol:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Rob , now was that meant " you Sweetheart " like WILLY or did you mean " your Sweetheart " like HIS Girl ????
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Rob , now was that meant " you Sweetheart " like WILLY or did you mean " your Sweetheart " like HIS Girl ????
I was worried about that as well Arnold.
If he comes to visit it will definately be a case of sleeping on my back and locking the bedroom door (with him on the outside of course).
Willy
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This is rob and willy lol just give the vid a min ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCqcMOB6STc (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCqcMOB6STc)
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ha ha ha Ted...
Arnold of course I was talking about his sweetheart...
Nothing against you Willy, so when am I getting a picture sent to my phone????
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That is just too funny the video i mean...lol lol lol
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This is rob and willy lol just give the vid a min ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCqcMOB6STc (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCqcMOB6STc)
And I cannot see it - even using Ninjacloak.com:@
Willy
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Hi guys...
Today I have to use Maxx'x 24 hour (+) rule:@
To let you understand this morning Anne called me to wish me a happy new year.
During our conversation she said she had something to tell me and that she hoped I would not be mad with her:-/.
Once I looked at her photo after i came off the phone I realised straight away that what she was saying was true, and that it wasn't my imagination. I told you all she told me she was 41, well as it transpires she lied to me, she is in fact 31...
The reason she gave me the first age was because she was very interested in me, and lied hoping that I would not find out. She said she liked my look very much from the moment she met me. However, in her words "I did want to start the new year with you with the truth, I am so sorry for not telling you this right away, I thought you would not like me if I said the truth to you".
So now guy's I'm in a dilemma. Do I stop speaking to her and stop everything I had planned because of this lie, or do I get over it and see it for what it was to be with me? The problem I have is that I DON'T LIE and I expect my other half to have the same morals as me. The other problem is that when i started on this journey i said I would only go for a 15 year age range difference.
Help please guys !!!
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Blimey :icon_cheesygrin:.
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She has spoken to you from her heart , you get on fine , so now she has cleared the air , just gallop along , age has no meaning except to Westerners , you act like a 40 year old and she is whatever , at least she will be able to wheel you around in your wheelchair ha ha , regards Ying and Robert .
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Happy New Year
For the little lie she told? It's not that bad compared to something like, she's married? or with child from another? It could have been worse. She's rectifying this for the new year so.... I say stay with her.
As for the age difference? I can't see putting a number to it. There has to be a +/- factor. Each woman is an individual and age has nothing to do with it. If she truly loves you? What's the problem?
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Rob,
I think the others are right. The relationship is well established now. Though I do think a little punishment is necessary. When you get back, do not go to bed with her for 1 week.
Shaun
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How old are you?
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Shaun, who is that punishment for? That would be punishment for Rob. :icon_biggrin:
I have dated slightly older then I and much younger. But I never dated for the reason of age. Even now my lady is younger (17 yrs) but I did not pick her because of her age. I didn't go after her because she was that much younger. It came about because of the way we get along and fit together. I'm younger at heart and she's more mature then her age. I'm happy, she's happy what else do you need?
I'm adding this little exert. My lady is taking her first plane ride and out of China to S. Africa. I was explaining what to expect and added I have been flying about as long as she's been alive? True but I have no problem in this knowing the age.
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Shaun, who is that punishment for? That would be punishment for Rob. :icon_biggrin:
I have dated slightly older then I and much younger. But I never dated for the reason of age. Even now my lady is younger (17 yrs) but I did not pick her because of her age. I didn't go after her because she was that much younger. It came about because of the way we get along and fit together. I'm younger at heart and she's more mature then her age. I'm happy, she's happy what else do you need?
Vince,
Just know it would be impossible to do. Nor would he be willing.
Shaun
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Rob: the question is at 31 she probably wants to have some children, are you ready for that? Are you OK with that? I think if you want to peruse the relationship then you should have that discussion soon.
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Rob, I know you're kind of disappointed and the other guys have made their suggestions. I don't think I could offer you any better advice, however I do want to point out something I think is very important. Vince mentioned it.
Anne has made a confession to you. She could have easily kept this hidden from you for much longer and depending on how scottish immigration is handled, that could have caused you more problems in the future. She's showing that she's taking the relationship seriously and wants there to be nothing between the two. Yes, you might have some doubts about whatever else she has told you about herself, but she's working to fix the problem. What are you going to do about it?
You're feeling betrayed right now. I think we can all understand that. Is this a dealbreaker (man I hate it when business terms creep into this)? That's really up to you. I'm sure when we all started out on this adventure, we had many criteria of who we wanted to end up with. I'll admit that when I began, I had this narrow list of things that "the one" would have to be before I considered a relationship. But as time passed and through much interaction with others, my list has changed (but I'm not going to list them here). Are there some things that I will not compromise on? Of course! But I've learned during my trips (before and now) that I have to be flexible with some things. And trust me, that has changed my view on how I get along with others.
The point I'm making is that you have to decide whether she is worth it or not. Are you looking for the flawless diamond or the persian carpet (yeah, I know...vague reference)? One lie doesn't necessarily mean much in the whole scheme of things. Everyone here has followed your story with great interest. We've seen your ups and downs here. Look at the size of this thread... 25 pages! That's over 240 posts... We all have a stake in seeing you happy. We don't want to see you hurt. But whatever you decide, I'm sure we will support you.
One final thing... I think you should ask yourself some serious questions here...
1) Does she make you happy? (I think we all know the answer to this one)
2) Why is she going after you?
3) Age aside, do you love her?
The last question is the clincher. You've got some serious thinking to do. I just hope you come up with the right answer.
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Rob , are you a western Man or what ? I don't think anyone here has ever not met a Woman that did not lie about their age . I have my 84 ? year old Mother in-law still not confessing about her age .
This is a minor thing unless you want to make it larger than it is really is . Or you have some doubt's about it all and are looking for a way out ? I sure hope this is not it . I would be very disappointed in you then . Now of course it's the age difference which is now 10 year's larger , but that is only on Paper and if both of you Love each other ... it does not mean a thing .
Now Regnis brought up a important point , does she or do you want Kid's ? This is exactly what QIng and I were tossing about for many month's ... should we or shouldn't we ? We decided .. YES . Get this out of the way and your free to keep building your Relationship further .
Happy New Year you lucky Guy and never forget that .
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I told you all she told me she was 41, well as it transpires she lied to me, she is in fact 31...
Do I stop speaking to her and stop everything I had planned because of this lie, or do I get over it and see it for what it was to be with me? The problem I have is that I DON'T LIE and I expect my other half to have the same morals as me. The other problem is that when i started on this journey i said I would only go for a 15 year age range difference.
Help please guys !!!
Rob I had my ex-brother-in-law come over New Year's Eve. He came over to talk about marriage problems (seems his wife has been deceitful). We spent the evening discussing the tangled webs that are weaved when practising to "Conceive".
Now you ask a question that is too vague in its intent. My reply will be directed to the parts of your post I find I can shed light upon.
I do not agree with all the brethren here about the age difference. I believe it is very important. A long term commitment must have a solid foundation to last. But I am not refering to age as in how long someone has been on this planet. Age is important when talking about Mental Age and Functional Body Age.
Rob you have stated that you were looking for no more then a 15 year difference. Now would you rather have a 41 year old that looks 31, or a 31 year old that looks 41? Also ask the same for her mental maturity. Regnis has brought up a good point. At 31 there is a good chance she wishes to have kids. That is a more important discussion then her age, since I hope you understand now the difference of Birth age is of little consequence.
You actually answered your own question - Yes it is all about "or do I get over it and see it for what it was to be with me?"
Now for her lie to you - well that is I think the real gest of your concern. You say you don't lie - I understand where you are coming from. I am sure you have lied (you have been a boxer so I am sure you have thrown a feint) but I believe you mean in things that truly matter then you have been totaly honest. This is the warrior spirit in you and in this, we are akin. We believe in Honour. At the end of the day you can only ever be sure of your own Honour. It is shaped by a life time of deeds.
Your thread is titled "A new life".
Well friend, it is a New Year and she has decided in this spirit to come clean with you. It is a new life - a new year and fortune stands before you tempting you once again with its choice. I think you need serious discussions with her and to spend some quality time with her before you can truly answer the question you ask here. Good will Hunting my friend.
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G'Day Rob
Again the ugly "age" monster rears it's head and tries to derail another promising relationship....Gawd, there are so many other forces working against us in our quest to find our beloved, age shoud be one of the easiest issues to knock on the head !! There have been many, many posts written here on this subject, and I am sure you have read them all.
Rob, you are old enough, wise enough (and scarred enough !!) to realise that we dont live in a perfect World...and in this World there aint many perfct people !!!!
Way back when...at the time you two first met it was only the chemistry, the attraction, the mutual admiration that brought you both to a good place. The age thing was only numbers on a piece of paper...it was nothing to do with what happened between you both.
At this time, maybe your Lady was tired of being involved with shallow, sensless 30-something year olds who did neither want nor understand committment, love and the dream of a happy stable future...so she upped her age by 10 years to attract a more stable, mature and honourable Man ....Maybe ???
Women are allowed to use many "wiles" to attract the best partner, the underwear, bra and cosmetic manufacturers are forever grateful to this trait !!!:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Had she decided to keep her "secret" in the hope that it would never become known by you...it would have been the bigger deceit.
In telling you the truth, this Lady has thrown some seriously big dice here...she is prepared to put her love on the line to have the truth out in the open....she knows full well that it could be a show-stopper for you....Man, that shows some high level of courage and committment on her part.
OK..cannot take away the issue that she told you a fib...and you gotta deal with that one way or the other. If you can find it in your heart to forgive and forget and move on into a new World...then thats great for both of you.
If whatever happens, your own sense of "honour and ethics" forever will mean that this fib gets held in YOUR heart...then it will be a poison between you that will eventually destroy everything.
The only black cloud introduced by this new information (IMHO) is the issue raised here about future children ???
But if you can never forgive and forget, and know that your real feelings for this woman transcend meaningless statistics such as age difference....then you have answered your own question...there is no future.
Ron makes the perfect point that age difference is important, but not the numbers shown on bits of paper...the difference is measured in character, attitude, wisdom and such things.
But dont spend the next 3 years searching and wondering what might have been, had you behaved with a bit more "charity" towards a woman who obviously think the Sun shines out of yer ass !!!
Not the easiest of decisions mate....but really, its not so difficult after all.
David
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Rob,
Sorry I was being a smart ass this morning and this is a real issue for you. I think most of the ideas have been covered. Bottom line is this. Do you love her? There will always be issues. There will always be disagreements. You will occasionally find fault with everyone. People do make mistakes they regret. It sounds like this is something she regrets. Is this an unforgivable sin?
Rob no one can really tell you what to do. This has to come from your heart and yours alone because you are the one who has to live with the decision.
One last thing. Do not be hasty in making your decision. Get past the emotional part of it. You need to be clear and free from the hurt to make a decision.
Shaun
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Rob,
What is the "real issue here"? Certainly there are issues that this brings forth. I actually broke it off with a woman because of her age. She was only 26. She gave me all of the answers, such as if I love a man it doesnt make a difference, etc. but there are real practical issues. We all know Viagra only goes so far, what happens when you are 70? She wants more sex than you can give her. What do you do? Do you feel jealous and wonder what she is doing? Your body goes to hell, hers is still in good shape, do you wonder about that? Are you still attractive to her? In your older years you may need to be taken care of, will you feel guilty because she should still be going out and having fun but you are stuck at home? Ideally with "real Love" these things shouldnt matter. But we live in the real world not in some fantasy. Is she really mature enough to think about these things? Or is she in some fantasy and only looks at things as they are now. You need to be the one to think about these things. Look, i dont mean that she is immature and hasnt thought about these things, but you have the experience in life. I had these thoughts about this beautiful wonderful girl. She told me that no one had ever seen in her heart like I did. She was very upset when I told her I saw no future for us.. (So she said anyway). A little white lie is no big deal to me. These other things are what I think you need to resolve in your mind. If you are good with it. Why should age stop you from being happy.
About children. I told Gina from the very beginning that I did not want any more children. I 100% meant it. She said she was ok with it, but really she was not. We have talked a lot about this, the age difference for us is 16 years. I have decided that I want to do whatever makes her happy. She deserves it and I have changed my mind. I have discussed it with people I know that had older fathers to get their point of view. it is about 50/50, some said it didnt make a difference and others said it did. So i think it is how the father acts. Anyway Rob, this is my 2 cents worth. You are the only one that can make this decision of course and you are the one that can see in her heart and know yourself well enough to know if you can handle these things.
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Well Rob
You know my feelings about this. 15 year age difference - now where are you going to find a agile 68 year old Chinese women on the Chnlove website?
I cannot blame Anne for telling a lie. We have had several telephone conversations and your relationship has often come up and we will be having another today!!! She fancied you like mad from the start. If she had told you that she was only 31 would you have still swopped telephone numbers? She is aware of your age. You have not lied or mislead her at all. She knows that when she is 60 you may be under the earth and not on it!!! (mole_rob@rest.com that may be your email address and we will still be plagued by you:icon_cheesygrin:)
There again who knows what will happen and at 99 you could well be burying her at 70 odd. And what would that mean. If will mean that you have missed the best 46 years of your life for what? Your pride, your feelings in 2010 will have no meaning at all.
By coming clean she is telling you she still loves you and you are the man for her. The age difference is not a problem for her why should it be for you.
She has a child and as you want to live in China it is probable that she cannot have another.
In our telephone chats you have told me things that tells me that she really loves you (God knows why - but she does.:icon_cheesygrin:LOL) , get past pension age and there is always viagra to fall back on and that is getting better all the time. Failing that the next line is Robin's starch then plaster of paris .:icon_cheesygrin:LOL
Is age such a problem for you? Would you be embarrassed walking down the street of Barrow in Furness with her? Well if you are going to live in China then that will not happen. Like us all you are going to get looked at in China not because you are with a younger women. Not because you are shorter than her. But because you are a 'bloody' foreigner.
Mind you if you do take my advice and marry her then I will spend the rest of my days thinking 'what has that little Scotch git got that I hadn't'
If you don't marry her I will be thinking ' What a plonker that little scotch git was'
Your heart or your head? How many fellows giving you advice here have had to make the same decision as you. No many I wager. I could be being selfish but my advice is go for it if you love her. Chinese woman keep telling me age is just a number. Another 9 years and I will hit my favourite number many more times:icon_cool:
Willy
If you have not worked it out I was 60 last birthday.
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Rob I know what your thinking.Your thinking oh shit Maxx is posting and he is going to rip me a new one for hesitating.I wasn't but since your already prepared fo it.:icon_cheesygrin:
Serosly Rob you have seen what your brothers have posted.And I agree with them.It took allot of guts for your lady to tell you this.It is not a deal breaker.It is just a number.You guys have the chemestry shes interested in continuing this little adventure.So what is the holed up?
Just talk to her tell her how you feel about her.Tell her you can get past this.Tell her you don't want to here any more lies.Then after it is setteld just keep doing what your doing.
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Rob, I usually do not try to give advice here. Don't figure I'm qualified. But in this case...... After following your story from start to now, I tend to agree with most of the brothers here. After the connection and happiness you two developed while you were there, in seems a waste to throw all that away because of this fib. And she did come clean about it. That took a lot of courage on her part. As Maxx says, tell her you don't want anymore lies, then keep loving each other as you did. That is, if you really do love her!
Just my 2 cents.
Don
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I asked my wife this question. She said it is perfectly normal for a 31 year old woman to fall for and love a man of your age. They want to be taken care of and loved. That is it, nothing more than that.
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Rob,
i think your asking the wrong people here. you must ask only
yourself this question on what should i do??
but i do want to add my 2 cents worth--- she obviously liked you and was attracted to you when she saw you.
she probably thought you were older than dirt so she didnt want to tell
you how young she was but now as things developed for the best she felt
compelled to tell you the truth NOW!!!! so i think thats a very possitive thing
and if you feel the way you told us you do then forget it and go be with her.
Rob,
and also we didnt stop talking to Willy when we found out he was
160 and not 60 so i think forgiveness is inn order here
ok enough with my 2 cents worth
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and also we didnt stop talking to Willy when we found out he was
160 and not 60 so i think forgiveness is inn order here
ok enough with my 2 cents worth
Ok I will come clean - here is my non photoshopped picture at my 159 birthday party where I invited all the friends I was born with. Pretty lonely - even the ones I managed to dig up did not say a lot!!!!
Willy
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Willy,
Seems your teeth are like the stars then, ....they always come out at night!! haha!!
David....
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Willy,
Seems your teeth are like the stars then, ....they always come out at night!! haha!!
David....
Everything comes out and off at night mate.
Teeth, hair, glass eye, one leg, support belt, incontinence pad - somes times its not worth getting out of bed on the morning - cos by the time I get put together its time to get ready for bed again!!!!!
The only thing keeping me going is Rob's wee tales (not really BUT that keeps my posting in the thread!!!!!!)
Willy
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good one willy
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Maxx's 245 hour rule IS the best thing that has ever been put down on this site...
Guy's thank you all for your help, it really did help me in what I wanted to do and Say.
She is 31, and I am 53 (22 years difference), this may not seem like a lot but as we get older many things come into play, which has been highlighted plus things that have not. The age difference brings many fears, but I have decided that LIFE also brings this. She was very brave to come out with the truth, I can see that, she could have lost me, and it was only a case of not telling me for 5 weeks.
I spoke to Anne last night, and mentioned that there should be no more lies, and told her I forgive her for this 'White Lie' I also thanked her for telling me the truth in the end. I think that she wanted to see how far this relationship would go (personaly). She knows that I have had a vasectomy so kids are out of the question, the one I had was non reversal, and she is ok with this. I think what Jim's wife said is the real truth, they only want to be loved...So I intend to carry on with her and love her like she deserves.
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very good Rob im happy for the two of you
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I'm happy for you Rob .
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I'm very happy for you rob. I would never do it (but then again, 22 years difference at my age would mean dating an 8 year old) but at your age its not a big deal. Plus I am sure they can reverse it if needed. Best of luck to you and she sounds like a keeper.
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Rob,
i read somewere a while back that a man and woman are on the
same emotional level when the man is 15 years older than her.
so your in the ballpark hahahaha
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so your in the ballpark hahahaha
No Ted - you was not reading correctly - He SAID he had had a vasectomy - so maybe not in the ballpark.
Nice one Rob I knew you had it in you - (or didn't as it happens) but you know what I mean.
Willy
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Glad to hear the news, Rob. Good Luck!
Don
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RegnisTheGreat,
Nothing to stop you going the other way, ....at least it will legal!!! ....lol!!!
David.....
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Anyone missing scottish_rob? No I thought not:icon_cheesygrin:!!!!!
Just telephoned him back in the UK. He reports that he is fine and is missing his computer and also you lot.
He said that he should have it back in another 7 or 8 days ands then he will be back pestering you all again - his words not mine.
He is still struggling to find ways to get the money together to get back China - I told him if he does a bank robbery to make sure his does not fall over his stilts as he runs out of the bank!!!
Knowing him he will over do it and get a pair of those circus ones that makes people 12 feet tall and he won't be able to squeeze into his getaway car.
Willy
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This is poor weather for a bank robbery, the coppers could just follow your snowy footprints and a getaway car would have to be pushed :icon_cheesygrin:.
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This is poor weather for a bank robbery, the coppers could just follow your snowy footprints and a getaway car would have to be pushed :icon_cheesygrin:.
They will probably bump start it for half the takings! Well they would definately have done that 30 years ago.LOL:fi_lone_ranger:
Willy
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he will find the way to get back to China
everytime a young lady shows interest in me i am with
my wife hahahaha
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everytime a young lady shows interest in me i am with
my wife hahahaha
So am I!! - oops sorry I mean't MY lady.
Willy
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Hi guys I would like to say a BIG congratulations to our (MY) friend Willy on his engagement:icon_biggrin:. I was really pleased to hear this news when he phoned me.
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Willy
i thought you were engaged when you went to the british consulate?
took this long to answer you ???
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Willy
i thought you were engaged when you went to the british consulate?
took this long to answer you ???
No Ted - it took me this long to ask her.
Several times I intended to ask 'Will you marry me' but got as far as 'Will' and she would look at me lovingly and I would bottle out and continue - 'Will.....y is a nice name isn't it' and when she said 'Yes' it was not to the question she wanted to say 'yes' too. Then after the new year I was down on one knee Or was it both knees whilst I was drooling in the corner, dreaming of the past - when i felt the need for my mouth to be wiped and i thought I was asking if she had a tissue but as I said it in Chinese it probably sounded more like i was popping the question and she said yes. So what can I do!!!!!!
Willy
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Willy
did you start drinking again hahahaha
congrats my freind to the both of you
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Congrats Willy. You're hilarious! Did you actually get down on one knee? I did, in a crowded Chinese restaurant with her two nieces.
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Congrats Willy to both you and your lady. Well, there goes the viagra business. :icon_cheesygrin: when will you tie the knot? perhaps at the gathering in Feb ?
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Congrats Willy to both you and your lady. Well, there goes the viagra business. :icon_cheesygrin: when will you tie the knot? perhaps at the gathering in Feb ?
Been through that question with Ted. I am giving her a decade or two (that 10 or 20 years or so to change her mind.)
Willy
Rocky if you are holding any Pfizer stock then sell, sell, sell before the news gets out!!!!! LOL
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Shaun will so disapointed.....ha
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Don,
I saw the writing on the wall 3 months ago and sold my stock before it dropped. The way Willy was talking I knew the high profit days were over.
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Shaun, Sorry to hear about the downfall, will send you a food box tomorrow....:icon_cheesygrin:
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Word is put your money on Valium. It is said he needs help being calmed down now. :icon_biggrin:
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you probably can buy that over the counter here also Vince
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No need for the Valium just give me a corner in a darkened room a cooked chicken foot and maybe a T Bone steak of fresh dog and I will be happy for hours musing on what it is like to be actually married. Pondering on what I have been missing all these years.
I nearly got married to an American once, she was very good looking and was a call girl, mind you she said she only helped out when they were busy at weekends! During the week she did the odd bit of pick pocketing and robbing pensioners of their purses. And except for a bit of child beating and violence against former husbands she was OK. She was completely honest as she did confess all these things to me but the one thing that she did not tell me about and what destroyed our relationship was when I found out that she was in fact a Republican!
Back to the darkened room.
Willy
Roll on the date we are married as people say that I cannot commit adultery until then. Can't wait to try that - whatever it is!!!
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Willy,
You met my ex-wife? When? The thing that blew it for me was that she kept on charging me each time.
Shaun
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Was going to comment on those chicken feet, but Maxx is right as we should keep the thread on the subject, But guy's the humor is great....I've never been on a forum where people from all over the world have so much fun....
By the way, where is Rob, and rob if your reading this, how is it going ??? I've got to have more story...
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Hi guys. Shouldn't be long now before I get my comp back..
I manage to come online by using the Libraries computer, so can only use it for a short period.
I have noticed that there are masses I have missed, so it looks like i will have to troll through the subjects when i get back hehe. Man thats a lot of reading:huh:
Anyway hope everything is going well for all you guys...
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Come back soon Rob before I get into more trouble from the great I am.
Willy
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i thought you just stayed in trouble Willy
all the time
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Yeah Rob !!
Starting to wonder if you are avoiding us :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Hope all is well...post soon mate
David
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As requested I'm back...:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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looking forward to some interesting reading now from you
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Hey Rob, I am so glad your back, hope all is well, don't screw up that computer agian....:icon_cheesygrin:
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Rob? Rob who? :icon_cheesygrin:
No, really Rob I am so glad you are back with us.
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Rob,
Thanks for the update. I am glad you and Anne are well. Keep pressing in and moving forward and you will reach your goal.
Shaun
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Boy Rob when you fall in love, you don't take prisoners do you...ha
I am so glad that this is working out great for you, keep up the good work and we will have you married off in no time...:icon_cheesygrin:
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Rob,
take up their offer to get you back to Anne and when you start
working here then pay them back. sounds like they really want
you back with her. and if she throws you off the mountain then
the debt will be considered paid in full hahahahah
good luck though Ted And Siying
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Do you guys also feel the sadness from the voice when speaking to those who are over there without you?
I know just what you mean Rob - everytime I call you back in England I get this sad, sad feeling for China - Sad that one day you will be back.LOL:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Oooopps I mean't to say sad for the women of China that when you return you will not be available because your spoken for.
Watch out for the Mountain Rob. There are some narrow paths going up there. Meet a beautiful women coming down and you may have to consider blocking her passage or tossing yourself off.LOL
Willy
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Do you guys also feel the sadness from the voice when speaking to those who are over there without you? Everytime something comes on the TV about China, it takes me right back there to the smells, it's a wonderful feeling to be in love don't you think???:icon_cool:
Rob , this is what I went through and all the other's Married or Engaged . I don't HOW ... but we both made it through and now we are making it up ... minute by minute and you can imagine HOW wonderful this can be .
About the Mountain , DON"T go up there without tying a Rope around both of you and tell Anne ... that's in case SHE slips and falls ... you don't want to live without her then . Works everytime.:angel:
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Rob, remember, she rides on your back up the mountian, not the other way around....:icon_cheesygrin:
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hey rob your going to miss Willy's being tacken off the market wedding
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well it looks like its heading in the right direction for you Rob.
Anne misses you and thats why she wants to pay for it:icon_biggrin:
how is the not smoking going?? i have been cutting down and will
continue to do so. not strong enough for cold turkey tried that and
it never worked out. so i will see how this goes:icon_biggrin:
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Rob, anytime a woman wants to pay your way, she really, really loves you. So you lucky guy, I'm calling it the ROB method of finding women. I plan on using this method when I get to China. I'm tired of CHN and all the other BS company's that charge the heck
out of you and half the time your talking to an interpeter. I gotta get a new computer with a camera, so I can QQ people.
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hello
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Hi Rob,
Congradulations on finding "the one." You have been through so many twists and turns that it is good to hear you have found the girl that is right for you. I wish you and Kathy (NO not that one) all the best.
Kenny
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Rob , you made a hard decision .. but the right one . As Qing and I have discussed this a few times , when your name came up and Anne being only 31 years old .
Good Luck with mmmmmh ... Kathy .
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Mate
You know full well that everybody here only wants whats best for you....so go with your heart...and every good wish to you
In the immortal words of the Prophet Shaun....."sometimes you JUST KNOW".....:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Cheers
David
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'it just sounds like that Kathy (not that one) but the new one seems to know what she wants from and with you, and you too, Rob ;)
So, all I can wish to both of you is just all the best for everything to do and of course, that is a very good news ;)
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well it seems you have new developments in your china love quest
and i for one wish you the best. maybe now that your done with Anne
and are remaining freinds maybe you could find her a nice man who is
closer to her age. after all she seemed like a very nice lady, all the best
to you and Kathy
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Hi guys thanks for your support...
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Boy ... oh boy Rob , you better stop trading UP . Your Lady's are getting more beautiful each time . Want to give yourself a Heart Attack ? I hope Kathy will make your Dreams come true .:sleepy:
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At last you have coem clean on the subject of your lovelife. As they say confession is good for the soul!!! Been waiting for you to announce to everyone the new love in your life.
I see in photo 2 she is in Church. Has she been there praying to send her a really good looking guy who is everything a woman wants? Tell her it does not work everytime!!!!!!:icon_cheesygrin:
I have had a few weeks to work out that one and I know she is closer to your age and deep down from the bottom of my heart I can honestly say that she is too good looking for you!!!!:icon_cheesygrin:
Can't wait for you to marry her and for you to stop popping up messenger all hours of the day and the night. But have you been really honest and truthful to her - have you really laid it on the line and told her that one day she may well end up in Barrow in Furness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Willy
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Willy,
here prayers could have been answered for a really good looking guy but i
am taken lol
Rob well congrats good pics and i wish you 2 the best hope all will be well
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Rob my friend, you've really struck gold this time....don't let Kathy (not that one) get away. She is beautiful beyond belief. You
better get to china quick and marry this one...Damn how in the hell you got so lucky? This is worth another novel by you. I have
never heard of a lady giving up her family for a husband before. This is a first for me, but you know if they really really love you
they are willing to give up anything to be with you. Now that's a rare love my friend. You know what they say, "It only comes
around once in a lifetime, and when it does, grab on with both hands and don't let go"
Best of luck and wishes to the both of you. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
p.s. don't forget the pictures...ha
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Well guys...I really don't know what i am thinking...This is another long read...
All the bloody hassle I had with Kathies (Kathy 1) dad, about not excepting me because of my size...
Well it seems like Kathies Mom is the same, she won't even speak to Kathy at the moment, because she does not agree with 'Falling in Love from the internet', and of course to make it worse, (AGAIN) my height...
Why do I put myself through this !!!!...:@:@:huh:
However, my lovely IS NOT going to part with me,and she means it...:icon_cheesygrin:
Over the last few days and nights, we have been thinking of ways to get her mom to at least think about agreeing to us. I told Kathy that I would write a letter and get it translated in Chinese for her mom, explain all about me, my former life etc. Kathy thought this was a really good idea and TOLD ME what stuff to put into it...And that she would translate it for me..
So Willy this is the reason i've not spoke so much mate, been really busy, sorry...:icon_biggrin:
Last night I wrote this letter out on computer, and then hand wrote it...It is 9 pages long (writers cramp now..lol) A4 size. I have explained all about me. well read it for yourselves...And tell me your thoughts please...
Mrs Wang
Hello, you don't know me, my name is Robert O'Donnell and I have been in contact with your daughter Zhang Ying for a while now on the internet, and have grown very fond of her. I have also met and said hello to your grandson Zhang Cheng Shou, who seems like a very nice young man. He was very pleasant towards me and I think Zhang Ying and her whole family should be proud of him.
I would like to tell you about myself if you would not mind. The reason I do this is so you may know me a little better, and maybe understand me.
My main traits are Sincerity, Honesty, Reliability, Caring, Tolerance, Loving, Romantic, Kind Hearted and many more. I do not drink alcohol, nor do I smoke. I like to have a healthy lifestyle and try to keep myself fit. I am not a practicing religious person, but I do believe there is a God. I am very sure that there are many people who would say that I am a good and decent guy.
I am 53 years old, I was born in the year of the monkey (October 18th 1956), I was born in Scotland, which is part of the United Kingdom. My parents had 4 sons and 1 daughter. I am the youngest child of the family, 2 of my brothers have now passed away, this leaves 1 brother, 1 sister and myself. Our Father passed away 51 years ago when I was 2 years old, my Mother passed away just as I turned 21.
Our family is a normal Western family, all of them are normal size between 5” 5' (165.1 cm) and 5” 8' ( 172.7 cm). All except myself, I am 4” 9' (144.7 cm), however, this did not, nor does not deter me from achieving anything in life.
I left home aged 15, and worked as an apprentice jockey (Racehorses) in England, again still in the United kingdom, which was over 500 miles from my original homeland. I achieved (against the odds) becoming a full time jockey. The reason I say against the odds, is because of the amount of excellent people that I had to compete against to achieve this.
I met my ex wife in this place called Lambourn, which was where I was based. We met and fell in love. Her height was 5” 5' (165.1cms) a difference of 8' (20.3cms) between us. I was 21 and she was 18 when we meet, we married and had 5 children (one of whom sadly passed away in childbirth). Our marriage lasted for 26 years, although we were together for a total of 29 years, which included 3 years engagement/courting.
Many years passed by (she had tolerated me for her daughters sake) but she finally accepted me. She had since apologised for this, and told me, that I was the best thing that could have happened to her daughter, and that she could rest easy knowing that her daughter was very happy in her life with me.
Unfortunately, our marriage ended, simply because she fell out of love with me, and strayed to another mans arms. This I could not forgive, it hurt me so very badly. So I know the hurt first hand, that this causes. There is no way whatsoever, I could do this to someone I love, I could never hurt them this way. Because she strayed behind my back, she did not contest the divorce. So there was no financial settlement after the divorce, we shared everything (furniture etc) equally.
I have always worked hard for a living, it is called in Western Culture 'Protestant Work Ethic'. I have had my own business for a few years, but because of the split from my ex, I sold it and fell into depression, which I am now out of. My 2 sons live here in Barrow In Furness, they have their own families now, 2 beautiful grand daughters and a lovely grand son. My 2 daughters have their own families also and live in Glasgow, Scotland, and there are another 3 lovely grandsons. I see them and talk with them regularly, because I have very strong family values.
I mentioned that I am small in stature, this has never interfered with my or my families lifestyle. In fact with being shorter than the average man, I am more determined to achieve every task that is put in front of me. So I suppose you could say that it has helped me, rather than hinder me throughout my life.
Although I did not leave school with good qualifications. I am now very well educated, I have many certificates to attest to this. I went back to collage and university as a mature student. I have also a Combined Honors Degree in Sociology and History. My aim is to live and teach English as a second language in China, because I know there will be more work at this than I could possibly handle. I will take up a teaching certificate to make sure that I am properly qualified to teach. At the moment I am looking at many schools for work, and have sent off my resume to said places.
If this was not possible to achieve for any reason. I know that with my life skills I will always find work here in the UK. I have done many different types of work. I have worked in a kitchen, swept the roads. Worked with youths, worked as a film actor, and done plays in the theatre. My hobbies include painting in oils and water colors. I have sold 4 paintings before. I am in the process of finishing my autobiography, which has been accepted to be published. So in my eyes there is no shortage of work opportunities here in the UK also. So I know that when I marry a Chinese lady, then I will be able to look after her and her child. The child will have the benefit of being taught another language at home, and also taught about Society and History. Zhang Ying and Chung Shou will be made welcome within my family, my sons and daughters will make her and Chung Shou feel right at home, you can be sure of this. His education will be kept up, by the best education system in the known world.
Why do I not have a girlfriend in the United Kingdom? This is easy to answer, My trust with the Western female is no longer there. I have seen many Western Ladies 'Cheat' (Go into another mans arms) on their husbands. So I feel they can no longer be trusted. Why I would like a Chinese lady for a wife? I have read a lot about Chinese culture and customs. I have found that the Chinese lady is more sophisticated, wiser, thrifty, have family values, and when they give their heart to someone, it is their whole heart and is forever. This is a love I would like to have and share in my lifetime.
I can understand someones feeling about falling in love by talking on the network, it may not seem right or real. Yes there are many who try to swindle or do things that are not right, but not all are like this...I had the same feelings and thoughts about the network, however on reflection this is not so. I have many friends who are married to, engaged to, or seeing Chinese ladies. In fact there are 5 of my friends who are living in China at the moment. They have very happy lives together. Yes there may be some cultural problems to overcome, but every marriage has problems. An interracial marriage is no different, you will probably find that, they work harder at the marriage to make it harmonious and happy. I go into this with my eyes open wide, I know it will be difficult at first. But I believe, if the couple are strong, and willing to talk about everything then a good marriage they will make. It must be a 2 way street withing this, it must be worked at. Nothing in life is easy, would you agree with this?
I have spoken many times with Zhang Ying, we speak about everything. I know that Chung Shou will need time to trust another man, I also know that you and your family will also need time to trust another with your grandson and family member. I understand this. I do not wish to provoke anger in you, so I hope that you can understand what I am trying to say. I believe I read somewhere that “You should never promise a Chinese lady anything unless you mean to carry it out”, This I intend to do with all my heart. I know that Zhang Ying had previously been hurt, I can understand her, our exchanges are honest, we know each others past, we understood each others disposition. We have the argument, also has the misunderstanding, But we communicate promptly, exchanges sincerely, we are willing to study mutually, to deepen each other understanding, increasing each others sentiment, we recognized that our personality was suitable
We, Zhang Ying and I, have grown very, very fond of each other, I believe this could be true love. We have the same feelings, the same understanding of each others ways. We wish to be together and try for a final true love. Your daughter is a very beautiful lady, she is kind, considerate, caring and is a credit to you and your late husband. She tells me that she loved her father very much, she is so proud of him and that she still misses him dreadfully.
I wish to come to China as soon as I can, to visit with Zhang Ying and hope I can also see and meet her family. This would be my honor. I believe that our temperament is very suited to being together, because we are very similar in our ways.
I and Zhang Ying are not willing to cause you to be angry. I know that my height cannot make you satisfied, but a happy marriage does not lie in person's height. It lies in the person's good disposition, another important factor is the person's moral training. Also he must have love and the respect, be tolerant, have a sense of responsibility, loves the children and cherish one's family. I believe that Happiness is a caring person's wealth.
I can understand if you thought your daughter should marry someone who is taller than her, but as you see from my letter, this (Height) does not come into the equation, surely, it is what is in the heart that counts. I know you may think that you will lose face because of this. I can assure, I will bring face to you and your family. I will never do anything to upset, hurt or anger you, your family or Zhang Ying.
Although I am older than Zhang Ying, I am in very good health. If you agree then I am willing to accept a Physical Examination in China. Although I can only speak very little Chinese, I am willing to study the Chinese language diligently, I hope to visit you, I was hoping to obtain your agreement!
Can you please say Hello to Zhang Ying's elder sister and her whole family on my behalf please, thank you very much.
I wish you good health and success
Yours Sincerely
Robert O'Donnell
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Rob,
Hi ya Stranger!!!!!
If you really think this is necessary, then the letter is far too long, with far too much information.
Stick to the relevant points, drop most of your previous marriage stuff and your early life, and try and drop other non-essential information and consolidate in other areas...
Stick to essential elements, she just wants or needs to be reassured that this foreigner is going to be good for her daughter as a husband.
One good point this time round, Kathy (2) isn't going to let Mum stand in her way, ...of future happiness, with HER choice of man, and not Mum's idea of a man.
I am amazed sometimes, by these parents attitudes towards foreigners as future son-in-laws. They know full well that the chances of there daughters finding a Chinese husband are at best slim to non-existent!!!! You would think that they would be happy for there daughters to find a husband that really loves and cares for them.....
David.......
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To get my 2 cents in...I would also drop the information about both of your parents passing. Mom might think that this means you could pass away younger in life, and therefore leave her daughter a widow.
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I have tp agree with Dave and Martin, shorten it up. It could go the wrong way when there's to much info. Don't give her ammo.
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Sorry guys maybe I should have said I had already sent the letter, then posted it here.
I decided that I should tell her everything..and then she will see that I am being sincere and honest...
This was what Katy wanted me to tell her mom... She also said that wth he letter being hand written it would be more effective, her mother would see that I was willing to spend time writing it, rather than just printing it off a computer...
We shall see...Just have to wait now....BUT the good thing is, that NO MATTER what the mother says, Kathy and I will be getting married this year sometime....
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You know Rob,
We might poke some fun at your expense sometimes (well, all the time), but I do have to admit, you're very persistent and I do hope that Kathy's mom does come around. While I'm sure that you and Kathy are a very happy couple, having the peace of mind that comes with Kathy's entire family accepting you is priceless.
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Rob , I feel that the lenght of your letter .. really shows the depth of your Love towards Kathy . Your spilling you heart and soul into this .. for one reason to be excepted by her Family . Can this letter backfire ? I don't know , but Kathy going against her Parent's ( Mom's ) will .. certainly can . Maybe not now .. but in the Future . She is doing this against her up-bringing and Culture .. it will hunt her and find her some day . Remember , she is NOT a western Woman . With this , I do very much wish you the best of course and may your letter do what you send it out to do for you .
You have both Qing's and My prayer's for this to work out the RIGHT way .. with both the Family's happy for you two .
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Well where do I start. I think you will need my Heart Avitar.
Well what happened to honesty and smoking!!!!!!! A non smoker will imediately sense you are still a smoker the moment you step into a room. Smokers cannot believe how it just hits a non smoker. Any untruth at all will kill your chances of getting the Ma to come round will be stone dead. Sorry to hear about all the deaths in this letter but the Ma does not want to hear that. She wants to hear what a long life you are going to live and her daughter is not going to add widowhood to also being a divorcee.
Ma does not want to hear about the jobs that you have done in order to live! These are no well paid jobs in China either and will not push you up the rankings with her.
Your previous marriage failed we know but she does not want to hear about the failure - it will set her mind working as to WHY the ex needed to find another man - was not you man enough for her! These will be her thoughts i guarantee.
Too much 'willing' in your letter - everyone can be willing but how many get to actually doing something? Like i am willing to give up smoking to help get back to Anne sorry Kathy as soon as possible!
I see the same things being put here that you originally posted with Kathy 1!!! You know where that ended and she was also pledging to stay with you for ever. But when it really came to the crunch she made the choice that 99.999999% of Chinese woman would and that was not to go against the family.
Ma will be unlikely to accept that love can develop into true love over the internet. I am just as sceptical myself but i do know that you can like a personality that comes across - but true love!!!!!!!! well that is another argument.
Maybe a lot more I could say but got to get to teh bank
Willy
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Look at it this way Rob, by the time she gets through translating that huge letter, you will be there and tell her yourself...:icon_cheesygrin:
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Wise words Willy
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Hi Guys,
Just got off the phone to Scottish Rob a little while back
My comment to him in my last message have come to pass so to speak.
He will probably catch up with you all later on this but in the meantime give him some more space as there will be no point in prolonging his pain by going over what has already been said or thought.
Willy
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Rob,
im sure a few of us are thinking this and what the hell im going to say it. sometimes TOUGH LOVE is
the best way. what ever happened to the one who you met and accepted you for any and all short
comings 'no pun intended' and then was gone just like that and now your dealing with this crap again
like the first one???? why didnt you just stick with her?? the age difference couldnt be the only and real
reason for not wanting to talk and continue with her?? is that any different from saying you dont smoke but
in reality you do smoke??? cant have double standards to suit what we want. i was just wondering did you
ruin any opportunity to correct that because if i remember you two were doing well from what you wrote in
the forum. going against her mom if she does do that is just a recipe for DISASTER at a later date which
will breed resentment. seems like a dead end road eventually. ok i said it and i dont mean to be rude but
by god someone needs to say it THIS IS A TRAIN WRECK WAITING TO HAPPEN
very sincerely said with no malice intended
Ted
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Ok guys here's the script....
The reason i stopped it with Anne was for 3 reasons. And before anyone thinks about replying please take these thoughts into your head. Don't look at it from what you your point of view. look at from mine...
1) She lied to me about her age...
Ok this was only a little white lie, I accept that... However...., I had been lied to from my wife for I don't know how long, and from kathy 1, for a full 11 months. How could I be sure this little lie from Anne would be the only one? I thought long and hard about this, I did not make this decision easy.
2) I did not want to marry someone younger than my eldest daughter (33).
I knew in my heart that Anne would have had a very hard time from my daughter, ad also my eldest son...
The two of them are very much against this type of age group. I spoke to them about it a lot, and they were very frank and truthful in their replies.
3) My peers
I am a very shy type of guy, believe it or not..I think a lot about what people THINK about me.
I know this shouldn't matter BUT to me it does. I didn't want to walk down the street in the UK, and get people looking and sneering at me, they would be thinking 'Oh he is with his daughter or granddaughter' This is not me, I would NOT have been able to handle this situation...NOT with my Scottish Temprament...
That's the Anne situation talked about...
Now for the real story.
As you know me and Kathy 2 have spoken almost everyday 2 times a day. I have told her everything and never lied about anything. I told her about this site from day 1, yesterday I was talking to her and I explained about the 'Speaking Chinese Thread' and told her to view it. This morning when I started speaking to her, she sent me a picture, which I thought was the usual 'Heart' that she sends me, so I opened it, and there was the picture of me and Anne, well the first thought that came to my mind was, that when I had sent er pictures, maybe that one was in amongst them
this was not the case...She had come into the site, and read my thread, all of it. Now this is not a problem, because as I had said, I'm sure I told her. BUT, she has intimated that I left Anne for her, which is NOT SO. She wanted an honourable husband, because of my actions she no longer saw me as that. She told me to go back and marry Anne, which IS NOT going to happen. She also mentioned that SHE did not want to be that Chinese girl like Anne, again I tried to reassure her. She told me that she needed time, of course that is understandable, but within the next 5 minutes, it was over.
There are many thoughts running round my head at the moment I can't seem to focus..
I have decided tonight that maybe I am fighting another lost cause...And because of this, I am 'NOW'... NOT WILLING TO PUT MYSELF THROUGH ANY MORE GRIEF LIKE THIS. 3 Chinese ladies, 3 times lied too. So I am not going to search for anymore Asian woman.
One thing I will say...I LOVED THIS WOMAN MORE THAN I HAVE EVER LOVED ANYONE
I will come back into the site now and again and read up, and try to help the brothers if I can...
but I will no longer be part of this brotherhood.
Thanks for everything guys, and the best of luck to each and everyone of you.
To those who are married have a happy life together
To those who are about to marry, good luck and I hope she is everything you hoped for
And to those who are still looking, good luck
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Robert !!!!!!
I am not going to obey the 24 hour rule....sorry.
So...your score is 3 Nil, some of us here can do much better than that !!........how about 6:1 !!
Lies ???...I dont think there is a person on the planet who has not extended the truth in some way to suit whatever purpose is on the agenda....maybe you should ask yourself what is the motive behind "lies"...is it to deliberately hurt, or is it to try the best to put a good "spin" on a situation ?? A litle fib about age is not a hanging offense...dont be so Puritanical :icon_cheesygrin:
And what a bloody silly thing to do, to leave your photos of you and the ex on the site and invite your new Lady to view them.........talk about "waving a red flag at a bull " !!!! Being honest is one thing...........puting your ba**s in a meat grinder deliberately goes way beyond that !!!
And you know that you cant fall in love on the Internet..........only face-to-face will give you that.
Nobody here can stop you giving up, but dont simply give up for all the wrong reasons................people in glass houses...........:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Whatever you decide, you have some firm allies here...and I am happy to be one of them. Anything I can do to help...just ask.
David
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but I will no longer be part of this brotherhood.
Rob, you will always be a part of this brotherhood!
I don't really know what to say, but I thought David E said it well, so I will leave it at that.
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Rob I'm really sorry to hear this.But why stop now you have come this far.Why not finish the game.Rob to tell you the truth.Finding the girl is the easy part.Holding onto the girl is alot harder.With all the twists and bumps in the road.Whe have all told you this before.If it was easy.Everybody would be doing it.
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Hi Rob,
it hurts.
But I think it is too late. China is in your blood. You have started on the adventure of your life. With all the stories that have made your life and shaped the man you are, this one is the one that stands out. You have only started. This is like your first year at the stables. You need to get back on the horse.
There is no way you can write this experience off as a colourful exotic episode, and look at photos of the first time you got on a plane, the first time you went abroad, the first time you met and fell in love with a beautiful Chinese woman. You have come so far. You can't stop now.
As David said there are many guys here who have experienced failures, disappointments, have acknowledged their own stupidity, have got angry at seeing their investment of months of emotions, time and money vanish into thin air in a second from scams, misunderstandings, parental opposition, you name it. What did they do? Pick themselves off, dust themselves off, and start again. Why? Well, you have read the 36000 or so posts. You should know. We are no different from you.
Think not of what your present grief is giving you. Think of what this amazing country has made you into. I, for one, when I experienced disappointment and heartbreak on my first Chinalove adventure, simultaneously fell in love with China itself, and I knew with an uncharacteristic certainty that I would find the love of my life in China. You will too
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What ever way the winds of fate will blow and if your ship does change course, I am glad that you did, for a while, share your story with us. I hope that if you embark on new adventures you will take the time to drop on by and keep us informed. The measure of a man is by the wealth of his friends. And I must say, that in this seaside tavern along the China shore, many friends will miss your departure to never again know more. :fi_lone_ranger:
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Rob my friend, for petes sake, don't give up now....you scotts are tough and can bounce back. Hey buddy, don't wear your heart
on your sleeve get back in there and give it hell. Your my friend and I don't want to see you quit. One will come around when you
least expect it. Keep looking, and don't give up, it's like stopping in the middle of the race and saying "I give up", hey buddy, ya gotta
finish the race, give your all, cause if you don't, you will never know if you would have won. I'm there for you bro, get in there and
finish that race.
Your bro
Don.
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Rob,
i would still hang in there, you can find a 100 local women and still not meet the
one for you. live your dream and return to China there is one out here for you in
some place that will lead to a wonderful life together.
DONT GIVE UP !!!!!!!!
Ted
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Rob,
Forgive the avitar. It isn't for you.
I know it has been difficult for you. There have been many disappointments. Life is like that. You win some and you lose some. At 25 years of marriage I thought I had it made. We were on the downhill stretch but it was not to be. I discovered my wife had been lying about many things. I chose to forgive her and it was still not enough to save the marriage.
Rob one of the most beautiful thing about man is his resilience. What makes the true character of a man is not his disappointments and failures but how he picks himself up and moves forward.
We all know you are a good man with healthy blessing of good character. Take few days, a week or two and re-evaluate. I hope you will find that this is the only path you should take but that is what you have to discover.
There was a spirit or a vision that brought you down this path in choosing to marry a Chinese woman. It is a vision that is different than most men. It does not make you a better person, only different but Rob you are looking for something different that you cannot find where you are. Go back a look at that vision. Think about it, re-evaluate it, adapt if necessary.
Rob, each of us want to see you here with us but we all understand you need to choose your path.
We will honor your choice and hope that it remains here.
Shaun
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Rob, I agree with everyone else here. You ARE one of the brotherhood, you most certainly are not the first one to not find love one the first time.
Just take a break mate, slow down, talk to your family, think about what is important to you and how you want to live in the future. has anything changed since you started out this journey ?, do you still want the same things for your future life.
Whatever you decide we are all here for you.
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Thanks guys...
I have been chatting with her since the other day...at first it was (From Her) "We not go on" Last night it turned to "I cannot accept you and Anne..
( then came)..."We will talk about that later" which was in reply to me saying "We can still talk for now, get to know everything about each other and start again?"
So have decidedd to just give her a bit of space and time to think about what she wants to do..
I know you are right, China is in my blood now, things are often said in haste. What I do know now is that if it does carry on with Kathy, then I will need to get over there ars soon as possible. IF it turns the other way, then I will take my time, to search and go back...EITHER WAY...I will be back in China within the next year...
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Robert !!!
That's a bit more like it !!!.....you make the right decision...and by golly you are collecting some knowlege and experience along the journey !!!
Just imagine when it all comes together eventually, it will be worth it !!
Regards Mate
David
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Watcha me old China,
You had us all concerned for a day or two but now the dust has settled a bit you can maybe see things a bit more clearly.
I will bring the hearts back for you now.
Willy
For those colonials amongst our midst China is Cockney rhyming slang for mate. China = china plate = Mate
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Rob,
thats good it looks like the doors are open to work thru it. looks like
she made a decision in haste also. so best wishes for the near future.
i hope it all turns out well for the two of you.
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Watcha me old China,
You had us all concerned for a day or two but now the dust has settled a bit you can maybe see things a bit more clearly.
I will bring the hearts back for you now.
Willy
For those colonials amongst our midst China is Cockney rhyming slang for mate. China = china plate = Mate
Willy
I dont want to hi-jack the thread...but HELP !!!
Some ex-Cockney bloke I met at a party the other day was talking about "bins"..and he was referring to spectacles. What is the derivation of this word in rhyming slang ??...I'm stumped !!
David
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Watcha me old China,
You had us all concerned for a day or two but now the dust has settled a bit you can maybe see things a bit more clearly.
I will bring the hearts back for you now.
Willy
For those colonials amongst our midst China is Cockney rhyming slang for mate. China = china plate = Mate
Willy
I dont want to hi-jack the thread...but HELP !!!
Some ex-Cockney bloke I met at a party the other day was talking about "bins"..and he was referring to spectacles. What is the derivation of this word in rhyming slang ??...I'm stumped !!
David
Bins are the a common name for spectacles by the upper class cockneys. The real cockney would called them Hackneys - (Hackney marshes) = glasses.
Willy
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I think you'll find that ''Bins'' refers to eye's, but has been hijacked at some stage to include glasses!! I have no idea however the rhyming side of it.... I'll have to go have a ''Captain Cook'' see what i can find out .... hahaha!!!
David....
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I think you'll find that ''Bins'' refers to eye's, but has been hijacked at some stage to include glasses!! I have no idea however the rhyming side of it.... I'll have to go have a ''Captain Cook'' see what i can find out .... hahaha!!!
David....
While you're at it, have a "butchers" too :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
David
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I guess I am going to have to read up on this thread. Rob, WTF? Is this the same Kathy? If not, stay away from any woman that has a name that starts with "K"! Look for a nice woman named Amy or Rose...!!
Dave C
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Rob? WTF ??? What is this nonsense? OK, I'm calming down a bit. Seems she is creating the switch the blame game. Knowing you will get pissed off and not go along with it and then break it off. That way she can not take the blame. If she goes to this extreme? Ciao baby
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Rob - I am changing my Avitar just for your today. This is how I see your love life. Like a bloody yo-yo.
Do me a favour and get back to China and ask another woman where you can buy a translator. The direct approach is far better for you than all this chatting by internet.
And it is less stressful for all of us who go through these trials and tribulations with you.
Willy
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Rob, thank god you got back on the horse, now kickem in the ribs and win that race...I'll expect to see you in the winners circle
soon !
Don...:icon_cheesygrin:
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Hi Rob,
Sorry to hear of your troubles. I don't know if you're set on this Chinese wife thing. If you're looking for an Asian wife then maybe you'd be better off looking in Thailand. There are some decent expat run agencies out there who will find you a wife for 1-2 grand including marriage and visa applications etc. About 15% of Thais are Chinese, plus the beaches are much better lol.
I don't know if it is a Chinese thing, but my ex was lying her head off about important things. So while I was getting EMFs discussing marriage plans and stuff and was spending my hard earned cash by sending her little gifts and worrying my head off about her sick mother, she was really spending her evenings on blossoms.com looking for other men to chat to :dodgy:.
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Wow Brett,
You were really getting two-timed wern't you. But, (a big but), there are others out there that are nothing like her.
That really want a husband, and are honest. You just have to keep looking my friend. One will come along and
light up your life. :icon_cheesygrin:
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Yes I was being played for a fool. Next time I will trust my gut instinct. My gut knows best.
I do want to ask my uncle about Thai ladies, I am wondering if that is a better option. I just think Chinese ladies are better off in China. I largely live in the virtual world these days so I don't care where I live, but I think Chinese ladies would miss their friends and family too much. I suppose I could move out there, but Google is an important part of my life, and I do not like these silly games being played out between the US and China of late.
Anyway, I don't want to threadjack Rob's thread, but I guess we're in the same boat :icon_cheesygrin:!
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I'm all for hijacking Robs thread especially as he will not be using it for a few days.
The loss of Google is causing no problems here at all. Everyone in the Western World think 'OH my god no google - the world must be ending' Believe me it does not make a bling bit of difference here. You no doubt will not be looking for Chinese business so whay do you need China to have Google?
But Google is freely available here by going for one of the proxy servers. It cost less than 13 US dollars a month and you get everything you want INCLUDING BBC programmes to download for free.
If your business is not worth the 13 US it costs then you just aint go no business.
Do you not think a Thai would miss her family and friends - the chances are that there are less Thais in the UK than Chinese.
Using the lack of Google is a lame excuse Brett.
Willy
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Everything is sorted now...I think:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
I made a promise to her, :angel: not to write anymore about her, But I had to tell you this information below...
She Wanted her English name changed, so we decide on Sophie as her new name...:icon_cheesygrin::heart::icon_cheesygrin:
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Not to write to who? you mean, not to write to her about other women? I would not write about others if I had a girl, but isn't this
wearing your heart on your sleeve? This makes her a very sensitive person, don't you think? I think I would like mine to be a
little tougher, where she kicks my butt if I screw up and lets me limp around for a few days...:icon_cheesygrin:
You know, where I don't have to say I'm sorry every five minutes, or opens her own car door for instance. Or does not have to
be told "I love you" all the time, as she knows I do. :icon_confused:
There goes your pub time Rob....:dodgy:
I mean, you wouldn't get upset too much if I mistakenly called you an irishman would you?? :icon_cheesygrin:
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Being mixed up with the Irish, because I'm a Celt is fine...JUST DON'T... get me mixed up with being ENGLISH hahahah :huh:
This was why The Scots built Hadrians Wall to keep them in their own country:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:,.......but some escaped hahah:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::huh:
Sorry to my English friends,:angel:..... just trying to educate the Yank:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Everything is sorted now...I think:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
I made a promise to her, :angel: not to write anymore about her, But I had to tell you this information below...
She Wanted her English name changed, so we decide on Sophie as her new name...:icon_cheesygrin::heart::icon_cheesygrin:
You mean you chose Kathy as her English name in the first place?!? :dodgy:
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Rob,
Now i hope your not one of these Scots, that have to ram it down peoples necks, that your ''SCOTTISH'' !!! ... When in fact, your probably more British than i am ...hahaha!!!
David....
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Rob,
Now i hope your not one of these Scots, that have to ram it down peoples necks, that your ''SCOTTISH'' !!! ... When in fact, your probably more British than i am ...hahaha!!!
David....
David....Would I say that....hahaha.......:angel:
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ok im confused Rob are the two of you back on track and working to
get to the same place in life??????
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Oh well back comes the yo-yo for you Rob. I thought I had consigned that to history!!!
But one thing - how are you going to keep all these promises? You are going to be tied up like a kipper. She will have you crawling on hands and knees across the main street at lunch time before long.
My own opinion is, and I am sorry to say this, but maybe you should have just let her go last week.
I think you are just storing up more problems for yourself now that she has you firmly by the short and curlies.
And remember you have never met yet!!!!!!
Willy
Note: no smilies included.
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Rob, I am happy to hear you and "Sophie" are making a new start, but this celibacy thing?, I am being honest here, it's unreasonable of her.
If she is sticking to it, honestly, move on.
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hi guys
I do this with the best of intentions so if you want to know more PM me please.
Mods can you please close this thread...
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Why close a lively thread?
Willy
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Why close a lively thread?
Willy
Hehehehe William !!!![/b]..hehehe
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yes i think we need to close this thread it is getting to far out of line
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Why close a lively thread?
Willy
Hehehehe William !!!![/b]..hehehe
All I can say is at nearly 4 am in the morning you should be in BED. Not listening to what we are saying about you!!!!
Willy