China Romance
All About China => Your trip to China => Topic started by: Philip on January 04, 2010, 04:37:26 am
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Hi guys,
almost returned from my adventures in Changsha. Am in Amsterdam, waiting for the last leg of my trip back to London.
None of my flights were straightforward. All were either delayed or cancelled. I was supposed to fly to Changsha on the 21st December, but Amsterdam airport was practically closed. I had to wait for two more days in London. KLM were responsible for the first leg of my flight, so they provided accommodation and meals at the local Park Inn and Hilton hotels. Good for them. But their communication was atrocious. After much queuing, waiting and asking questions, I managed to get an alternative flight via Moscow and Aeroflot on the 23rd. I was told that Aeroflot's reputation had improved. Well, the flight was 2 hours late, and the passengers applauded when the plane arrived safely in Moscow. Maybe they knew something I didn't!
The plane arrived two hours late in Beijing too. The passengers applauded again. My flight to Changsha was delayed for about 10 hours. I had to follow a fast-walking woman, holding a banner, to a car park, where a bunch of passengers were driven to a local hotel for a few hours, before being driven back again a few hours later. So I finally arrived in Changsha on Christmas morning at about 3 o'clock in the morning. I took a bus and a taxi to the hotel my lady had recommended and crashed on the bed. I managed to send a text message to say to my lady that I had arrived in Changhsa. I was woken at 8 o'clock in the morning by a knock at my hotel room door. It was my beautiful fiancee.
Merry Christmas!
*To be continued*
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no were to go but get better now philip
wow what a beginning disaster
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Phillip, knowing you I just do not have to ask why it has taken more than 10 days to update us!!!
No doubt that elongated trip has been well worthwhile. Just remember to pop your head up now and then. The air can get a bit stifling under bedclothes for days on end.
Willy
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AND merry Christmas to you too Philip...LOL:icon_biggrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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After receiving such a lovely Christmas present of her presence, I decided that I wanted to change hotel. This one wasn't very nice. I had paid 400 yuan for the room. Checking out, my lady got me a 220 yuan refund. She seems to be really good at negotiating cheap rooms. We went back to the hotel we went to in October, the aptly-named Yippee hotel! It was a beautiful sunny day, she mentioned all the things we could go out and do, and so we spent the whole day in the room with the curtains closed, coming up once for air to have dinner. Yes, Willy, you're so right. I also shared the presents I had brought for her and her two children. It was an unconventional Christmas, but lovely nonetheless.
The next day, we went to the marriage office to see about registering. It was closed for a couple of days, so we had a lovely day at Martyr park, taking a boat ride, eating sunflower seeds and walking hand in hand, arm in arm. Sometimes the simplest of do-nothing days are the best. At one point we went into a kind of house of horrors near the fairground. It was the crappiest, shoddiest kind of animatronic show, creaky creatures coming towards you slightly as you passed them. It was truly bad. The bulb in one of the dragon's eyes wasn't working. For some reason, I was incredibly moved when she screamed at every silly moment. She grabbed my arm tightly - it was so sweet. I'll certainly hold back on showed her any of the Alien quadrilogy!
Back at the hotel, we had the promised money talk. It came naturally out of our conversation. She has this thing, which I explain as the worry monster. This is something that crops up now and again. Something she worries about and gives her sleepless nights. Until we thrash it out, she can't enjoy anything. A few months ago, it was "Can you accept another man's children?". I convinced her that it was not a problem for me. Then it was, "Will your family accept me and my children?" Took me longer, but I convinced her of that. Her current worry monster is, "Will I end up penniless and alone in England?" It may sound illogical to equate the 200000 comment with being penniless, but she just wanted some idea of how much the total cost was for me to visit China, for us to get married and to bring her and her children over. I made it clear that I had done the math (or maths), which meant that I had worked out how I could afford everything, but that I could not and would not get myself into debt by paying for expensive weddings. Our marriage is more important than the wedding. She totally understood and was in agreement with my reasoning. This particularly worry monster is not yet tamed, but we made some good first steps.
Next day was another sweetly uneventful day. We walked along the river and ate some lovely stinky tofu from a street seller, not much else. I do like the sex very much - we seem to have the same drives at the same time and we are learning about each other, but there is something wonderful about a gentle stroll, arm in arm, hand in hand. Am I getting old, or am I getting young?
More details soon
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Philip,
Sorry to hear about your flying problems butt it sounds like that changed when you arrived here in Changsha! I arrived 20 minutes late to Changsha on the 23rd...something about those domestic flights out of Beijing...funny thing...we could have been at Marytr's park the same day! LOL...I'm here for at least the next two months! Enjoy the read so far! :icon_biggrin:
Jim
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I do like the sex very much - we seem to have the same drives at the same time and we are learning about each other, but there is something wonderful about a gentle stroll, arm in arm, hand in hand. Am I getting old, or am I getting young?
More details soon
Well your profile says you are 10 years old, so I guess - Yes - you are getting to old :icon_cheesygrin:
Thanks for the update and the devil is in the details.
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Wow, is it warm in this room or is it just me. I would wish you a great time in China, but from what I read, your already having a great time. I wish you all the good luck in the world with your marrage.
The reason the russian plane was late was so the KGB could get on to watch you....:icon_cheesygrin:
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Older or young Phillip. It does not matter as long as you are getting it - and I mean good feelings about each other. The problems you were concerned about are just gone - it just needed sometime together to smooth the road ahead.
Your arrangements - when is it going to be once the office opens or you get out from under the sheets!!
Mind you hand in hand - whenever we cross the road I let go of her hand. The reason being is that I walk straight across - the shortest and safest way possible and looking both ways all the time. She walks across at a 45 degree angle and is oblivious to the dangers of traffic!!! Trying to teach a Chinese person some road sense is like trying to teach a roadsweeper to be a brain surgeon!!!!
Willy
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So they didn't fix the dragons eye yet. It was broke in April too :icon_biggrin:
You seems to have a great Christmas.. Keep it up and I will see you in Changsha a couple of years from now..
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On the night of the 27th, the worry monster reappeared. She was worried about our future and how I would be able to support her at the beginning of our life together in England with our two children. We discussed her genuine concerns and she seemed satisfied, though I know it is something that is on her mind a lot. The timing was understandable as we were due to register our marriage the next day.
We took a taxi on a very windy, snowy and cold 28th December. At the marriage office, we were told that we couldn't register, because the date on my single certificate preceded the date on her divorce certificate. Mine said 27th November, hers said 8th December. The official said the problem was that her name was mentioned on my certificate (it only says that we are no blood relation). They said we needed to go to the British consulate in Guangzhou to sort it out.
Disappointed, we left the office. We phoned the consulate. It was closed that day, but decided to go there anyway. If nothing else, we would be somewhere a bit warmer. She doesn't do cold. We also phoned her brother, who suggested the marriage office might just have used this date thing as an excuse, because we hadn't offered any under-the-table money. I don't know if their reasoning was genuine or not, but it seems rather strange to stop us from marrying based on my certificate, which is just about me.
We went straight to the newly-built, space-age Changsha South railway station, and caught one of the new fast-speed trains to Guangzhou North, agreeing to meet her brother for dinner in Guangzhou. The station at Changsha is amazing, like a small airport. The train is fast - it averaged about 200mph and reached a high speed of about 220mph. Her brother actually got on to the same carriage of our train at Hengyang - weird. The cost was high by Chinese standards, 327 yuan one-way, but we got there in less than 2 and a half hours.
(by the way, I recommend flying to Guangzhou and taking this train, if you can't find a cheap flight to Changsha)
We had a nice dinner with her brother after taking a bus (OK), a taxi (almost impossible to get) and the metro (very good). As we sat discussing the papers, my lady spilt her tea all over both of our papers, ruining hers and almost ruining mine. Whoops!
The next day, after a night in a not-too-extortionate hotel, we went to the consulate to get no joy whatsoever. Kind of expected it. We went to the normal Guangzhou station and took a slow day-sleeper back to Changsha (her idea) for half the price of the fast train.
Back to the Yippee hotel. So, I didn't get married this trip. I hope they don't come up with another obstacle when I return in April.:@
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So we have not had our first marriage of 2010 yet! (2 splits but no marriages.)
Phillip, That means that you will have to get some of your paperwork done again as they have a limited life in China?
Willy
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Yes, Willy, I would have to get the paperwork redone anyway as I need them to be dated after her divorce papers.
The 30th was another one of those nice uneventful days. We went shopping for a hat, and eventually found one. We had one of those insanely cheap meals close to the hotel. As usual, she washed away some of the hottest spiciness by dipping each piece of meat in some tea. She is very attentive to me during meals - she doesn't really eat very much though. In the evening we lay on the bed and had some English lessons. She writes English very easily and her spoken English is coming on, though we need to find a way for her to keep it up when I return to England.
Next day I suggested we go to Yuelu mountain. We took a taxi to the foot of the mountain. We took a bus to the top, accompanied by some deaf Chinese tourists. I use sign language in my job, so I was able to communicate with them a bit, which impressed my lady. At the top, it was lovely and sunny, and I was happy, unlike the last time I was there in May, when it was foggy and I was sad. When we reached the bottom, where the university is, I challenged a couple of young students to a game of badminton, and I was better than both of them, which caused my lady to call me 'Laoshi'. It's not often the English beat the Chinese at badminton, especially when they are more than twice as old as them.
We then went for a long stroll along the bank of the Chang Jiang river, looking at beached ships, people growing vegetables, cutting reeds, sweeping duck feathers and riding horses. We must have walked for four or five miles.
In the evening, the worry monster reappeared. She has the habit of chatting to taxi drivers and one of them had told her a cautionary tale about a foreign man he'd had in in his cab who had left his Chinese girlfriend. She was worried that the same would happen to us. I told her not to listen to taxi drivers, that the taxi driver didn't know me, that my family and friends know me, and that she knew me and that is all that matters. If I met that taxi driver, I would like to strangle him.
One more update to follow.
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The Chinese seem to be so fussy about paperwork. If it is not line by line correct they will not accept it unless a little incentive is paid or unless you "know " someone.
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It's incredible how insecure all those ladies are with us Westerners. My ex didn't really want to come to France but did not want me to live in China due to the amount of female competition ... and she resented my friendliness towards strangers, always worrying that I might run off with another. She was always monitoring where I was, and another which I just met on chat investigated my every single absence from my PC, the reason why I quickly stopped exchanging with her. We must have a really bad reputation in China ... too much white trash (quoting my ex) over there I guess.
The other worrying bits I can understand, if I were in her place, I would worry about many things before throwing my life at home in the air and moving to an unknown country with just a suitcase and not much money in my pocket.
Frank
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Hi Phillip,
Just picked up a point on your last posting. You say you did sign language in the UK and you were able to communicate with deaf Chinese people. So is the sign language international?
Willy
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I think this fear from our Chinese women is nothing strange if you think of how close they are to their family and parents. My wife also had some serious discussion with me about moving to Sweden. It is not only of insecure but instead of concern of the future and how it will be. I was very lucky to connect my wife to a Chinese woman living in Sweden for a couple of month so she could get all the facts by a fellow countryman...
I also thank QQ for making it easy to connect to China. My wife and her daughter use this almost every available time they have... I also have a cheap phone company that so the cost of phone calls to China is not very high..
Now my wife is living in Sweden with me and she said she like Sweden very much.. I just hope it will be like this in the future too..
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Yes we might have all underestimated this female jealousy thing. If I moved to China would I be allowed out of the house on my own? I'm not so sure...
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Yes we might have all underestimated this female jealousy thing. If I moved to China would I be allowed out of the house on my own? I'm not so sure...
If you two lived in Colchester would you be allowed out of the house on your own? I'm not so sure........:icon_cheesygrin:
If you moved to Barrow in Furness would any one want to leave the house at all? :icon_cheesygrin:
Willy
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i think thats because a lot of westerners come here to teach and
they seem to think the chinese women are easy to get. yes i have been told that by many of the young
teachers i meet here. they always tell me teaching is good because you meet many
women that way. so i guess since they have tightened up on this teaching thing
maybe we wont be looked at like that by quite a few. before anyone gets upset by this
i am just telling you what many and i do mean many people i meet in my wondering around
who say they teach. this is what they tell me
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Hi Willy,
sign language is not universal, but there are connections between the different countries' sign languages. Chinese fingerspelling started well before pinyin, so the first system was based on Visible Speech, a system of phonetic notation devised by Alexander Melville Bell (father of Alexander Graham Bell) in 1867. This Chinese fingerspelling system was called ????. Following the adoption of pinyin, a corresponding pinyin fingerspelling system became official in the PRC in 1963. But while there are some similarities between pinyin and U.S. fingerspelling, Chinese sign language is quite different.
The Chinese don’t have anything near the big D “Deaf culture” that exists in the US, therefore the deaf are treated as disabled (???just like the blind or people in wheelchairs, etc. When talking about deaf vs. hearing or blind vs. sighted, instead of referring to the sighted or the hearing, the most common term used in Chinese is indeed ??, which means healthy person or, perhaps a bit more polite, non-disabled. Most who are deaf, however, will use ??? instead.
see Wikipedia for a more detailed description and history
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_Sign_Language
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New Year's Day, and we had lunch with her best friend, did a bit of shopping and stored my presents for her and the children at her friend's very modest apartment ready for her to pick up when she went home the next day.
Coming to the end of my second visit, I am happy with our relationship. We have a lot of fun. We share an easy intimacy. We like exploring the great outdoors together (and the great indoors!) We are learning each other's language slowly, with patience and amusement. We discuss our problems and worries seriously. I'm sure you can sense a but comimg up (not a butt!)
I have not met our children. I have discussed when I will meet them, saying I would love to get to know them as soon as possible. She tells me they will like me, that it is not a problem, that they have loved the presents I have given them. She suggest that they will still be busy with their studies when I visit in April, and that they will have time to spend time with me in the summer. We have some discussion about the fact that I don't want to be a stranger to them when they come to England. She thinks it will be difficult for them to take time out of their studies and come and visit us in Changsha. (they are currently being looked after by her sister-in-law in Hengyang, where my lady lives). I ask why we can't visit them in Hengyang. She tells me that there are many unscrupulous people in Hengyang, who she doesn't want to know that she is seeing a foreigner, because they would exploit that information. So she said it wasn't a good idea for me to go to Hengyang. I stressed the importance for me to meet the children and to get to know them face to face, but I never got to the bottom of the issue. Our discussion was reasoned, she understood my need to see them, but she remained quite adamant. I get the idea that she is trying to protect them, protect me, protect herself and protect our relationship, but it is a bit frustrating to be out of that loop. Any advice would be gratefully appreciated.
We had a lovely last night, and set off for Changsha airport. We don't do tearful goodbyes (well, not until after we've separated)
I had trouble with my ticket. When the KLM guy arranged an alternative flight coming, he inadvertently cancelled the return( having insisted that there would be no problem.) So, having blagged a flight to Beijing, I spent the best part of a day with patient China Southern staff, trying to sort it out for my return (not helped by the 7 hour difference between China and the Netherlands - KLM headquarters) A sweet China Southern rep told me she would 'solute' all my problems - I told her the word was 'solve' - lol! In the end my flight was delayed for about 10 hours, due to -18 temperatures in Beijing. I missed my connecting flight in Amsterdam, spent a lovely few hours in the wonderful Sheraton hotel and explored the canals of Amsterdam for a few hours. Returning to Heathrow on the 4th, my luggage didn't come with me (I have just got it back yesterday)
Here are some photos of us, the river and the impressive new Changsha station
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Hi Phillip nice photos - looks to me that you two are close.
Hengyang - my lady comes from that city. She agrees that it is not a nice place. Plenty of people to take advantage of you and to pick your pocket. If your lady is registered there then you will have to go here eventually for the marriage office. Unless you can marry in any city within the province of Hunan. I will have to check that out as my lady also comes from Hengyang.
I have been with my lady for 4 months and i have never ever seen her children yet. The youngest is in school in Changsha the older is in Shenzhen working. I will not be meeting tyhem until after we marry. Unless the children live with the lady it will be rare to meet the children before marriage. Mainly because they do not want the children to become attached to you before in case you then go off and leave them before the marriage. Plus people may start putting prices for things up not just for her but for her children if it was known that there was a foreigner in the wings that may be ready to pay up for them.
I must contact the consulate tomorrow to find out about the marriage office we can use and I would prefer to go to Changsha rather then Hengyang now that I have heard what your lady said and what mine confirmed.
I hear that it was colder in Chagsha than in Zhongshan but I bet not so cold as in London now.
Willy
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Hi Willy,
thanks for the info. My lady's home town is ChangNing, a district of Hengyang.
Considering that you are now engaged (congratulations, by the way), it makes sense for us to have a double wedding in April. We could launch a double-pronged attack on the corruption in Hengyang. If you get them talking, I will pretend to do my shoelaces up behind them and you could just give them a push. Maybe we can think of some more underworld measures to deal with them. I am, after all, only a stone's throw from the Blind Beggar!
Thanks for the info about the children. It makes sense the way you said it. Doesn't stop me wanting to see them before the summer, but explains her possible reasoning a bit better.
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You may be close to the Blind Beggar but Ronnie is a long way from it now and cannot help any more - and the Undertaker is no longer around to clear up after us!!!! Mind you Ronnie would have wanted to give them more than a push but it would have been just as dangerous for you to have bent over in front of him!!!!
My God we will have the rest of them thinking of about that first two lines!!!!:icon_cheesygrin:
I am only going for the wedding registration in Hegyang. No idea when that will be as I have not got my papers yet!!!! Most of her family is now in Zhongshan and they want to have a dinner here.
My is also from ChangNing, Hengyang. They may have been neighbours. Maybe she is the daughter I haven't seen yet!!! If that is the case you only have to call me Daddy in private!!!!!!:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
I will show her the photo later and see what she says. sSe upstairs at her Nieces flat at the moment - will be there until the current tv soap ends at midnight.
Willy
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looks like it is all good with you two philip congrats
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The Blind Beggar Pub, Jeez, .....Been years since I've been in there!! You brought back a lot of memories about my youth, and the pubs Me and the mates used to frequent!! haha!!
One pub that came to mind was the ''something'' pudding in Stratford, it had a disco upstairs at the time, ...Used to go there a lot.... and another was ''The Flower Pot'' in Tottenham.
Funny story about the first time we went there. We were having trouble finding the place, so we pulled up beside a copper on a patrol bike. I wound down the window and asked directions tho the Flower Pot. Hahaha!!...he looked me and my friend up and down, and with a straight face said, ....Who the bleeding hell are you then, ...Bill and f**king Ben!!! ...lol!!!
Oh to be YOUNG again, .....but i think best, knowing what i know now!!! hahaha!!
Sorry to all you poor buggers that are not British or Londoners, cause you won't have a clue what i'm talking about here ...haha!!!
David.....
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Hi guys,
like Ronan, I am feeling pretty loved up at the moment.
Last night my lady and I told each other how much we meant to each other. She is not usually one for flowery words, so it was rather special to hear her tell me her feelings for me. I detect in her words that she has been doing a lot of thinking recently, and has made some decisions about our relationship.
And, lo and behold, she turned up on the webcam this morning with her 7 year-old daughter, both of them grinning from ear to ear. This was the first time I have met her daughter. As Willy says, it is a big deal sometimes to introduce your children, so I take this as an important step in our relationship. Her daughter sang for me and did a little dance. I tried out my rudimentary Chinese, which got a laugh.
We have a lot of laughs together, but she is essentially a serious person. Nothing about her is superficial. I do think she worries too much, but she has an admirable attention to detail, and she wants to make sure that everything is in place for us to make this relationship work. I think she will be the wife I have always wanted.
To watch her laugh and be affectionate with her daughter was a beautiful thing. I can't wait for April, when I will see her again.
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You know Philip, a lot of times if your not sure of a person or relationship, it is unwise to introduce them to the kids right off. The kids can sometimes get the wrong impression. I think she was worried how the relationship would go and there might have been some mistrust at first. But after your trip, and letting you visit with the daughter, I think she feels a lot better and the trust is building in her towards you. So I'm thinking you both are going to have a great relationship and family. Congrats on whipping their butts in badmittion
as that shows great face and the fact that you guy's are no slouchs when it comes to game's !!! (a force to be reconed with)....haha
Willy, you had me going on the first couple of lines, until I realized that your "PUBs" have those nice frilly names. In America we just call them "BAR'S"...:icon_cheesygrin: you don't tell your wife, honey I'm going out to the wilting wallflower for a drink, we just say, hey woman, I'm going to the bar for a beer, trouble is most American women say...I'm going with you....then you know you have to dance in front of all your friends...imbarasing to say the least...:icon_cool::s:s specially if you can't dance.
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On the north shore of Long Island, NY there is a bar named "The Library". I was doing some job and the guys aunt said she's going to the Library? After she left he told what it was. I went there a few times following that. Walls covered in books of course.
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Hi Willy,
Considering that you are now engaged (congratulations, by the way), it makes sense for us to have a double wedding in April. We could launch a double-pronged attack on the corruption in Hengyang. If you get them talking, I will pretend to do my shoelaces up behind them and you could just give them a push. Maybe we can think of some more underworld measures to deal with them. I am, after all, only a stone's throw from the Blind Beggar!
Well Phillip, Although I am here ready and waiting to marry it is highly possible that we could have a double wedding in April or maybe APRIL will be too early fo me at the rate we are going this week.
Willy
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rockycoon,
You maybe surprised to know, ...that's exactly what most men would say to his wife, but the pub name may be abbreviated from say 'The Rose and Crown'' to just ''The Crown'' In the UK, Guy's will normally have a ''Local'' pub, that will be the only local they will ever think of going too, it'll be the pub where all his mates go!! ...haha!!
David.....
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What a difference a day makes. 24 little hours.
Yesterday morning, I was happy.
I saw my lady's daughter for the first time on webcam. They were both smiling. We had a very nice chat.
Then last night, my lady told me she thought her children need to complete their education in China. Her daughter is 7, her son is 12. How is that going to work, I wonder? I still have no answers about how she plans to achieve this. Our original plan has been to get married in April, and for her to come to England with them some time next year. I have not strayed from this plan at all since we met. And she has told me this is what she wants as well. So, it has come as something of a bombshell. I have told her that I have the means to support her and her children when they come to England. We have discussed how the children will need to adjust to English schools. Shell-shocked, I could only re-iterate our original plans and ask her questions about how she suggested this new plan could work. She has not given me an answer.
At the moment, she is sleepless and depressed, asking me if I think she is a bad person.
I hope there haven't been any misunderstandings caused by translation. I don't think I have said anything to offend her. Our money issues, which I thought were sorted out, may not be. It is hard to know just what has gone wrong.
Any advice would be gratefully received.
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I've read it's pretty common (or at least not unheard of) to have the grandparents raise the children so they can go to a specific school. Maybe that's her plan? I hope it works out for you Philip.
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I agree, things said in letters is one thing, face to face talking is another. Best wait until you meet her. Then discuss the really, really important stuff.
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Yes grandparents raising the kids is very common apparently. If the parents go overseas the grandparents tend to look after the kids in China.
I passed a school in my lady's town, at lunchtime it was mostly grandparents who were outside waiting for the kids.
If my lady and I have kids and they turn out anything like my niece (a real princess!) then we're sending them to China to live :icon_cheesygrin:.
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so i take it your neice is quite the character Brett
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There are some times when I wish I could have the option of a good old EMF, but unfortunately that is not possible. The combination of distance, translation misunderstandings and my lady's habitual worry monsters can create quite a volatile mix.
She was quite depressed earlier on in the week, asking me if I thought she was a bad person. She thought I was angry with her, when I'm sure I said nothing to give her cause to think that. She thought I hated her. Ditto. I rode the storm, kept calm and reassuring and just asked her what she meant about the children completing their education in China. Turns out her ex-husband is strongly against them leaving China. She has been reluctant to tell me about her ex, wanting to sort everything out herself and not involve me in her problems in this regard. Unfortunately the ex is probably responsible for a lot of her insecurities, and if she doesn't share her problems, I can't help her with them and she's on her own dealing with them. Makes me wonder what her ex was like to make her like this.
After the cloud had lifted, I suggested we take things a step at a time. 1. Get married, 2. Apply for her visa 3. Sort out the kids' future. She replied with a simple, 'Yes'.
Things are fine and sunny again. She is a wonderful, kind and gentle person. I don't kid myself that there won't be more bumps in the road, but I knew this Anglo-Chinese adventure would not be easy. I am glad that I remain positive, confident and supportive. When she peeps out from behind her cloud, I am there for her.
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Phillip,
Peggy refuses to talk about her ex and I know he has caused some of her insecurities. She tells me she only wants to focus on the future. I told her that to have a better future sometimes we need to resolve issues of past relationships. She gave me that deer in headlights look and then she said, "No talk."
I hope in time as she learns to trust me she will open up. It seems nestled below the surface that there always is the trust and belief issue.
Keep on hanging in there.
Shaun
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Don't forget to tell your wife's or girlfriends that you married to them or getting married to them...NOT the ex-husband. He blew it, now its time for a new life.
Besides make a list of these guys, and let the "brotherhood" take care of them....:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Philip--- the ex will have to sign off for the kids to leave china so maybe
for now it is best they continue their schooling here and as time
goes on then get them to go to your place to reside. seems like she
wants to handle it and if you get involved it might just make him not
co operate at all
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I agree, let her take care of it, you know how tricky divorces can be if there are children involved and how the ex can be a pain when he finds out someone else is taking care of his kids....well, not only his kids but his ex wife also.
In America they can be aggresive....
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in China i dont think the ex cares about the ex wife
but the kids are a different story a lot of the time.
if the man would have married my ex sooner and stopped my
payments earlier i would have gotten him something really nice:icon_cheesygrin:
for doing so but it took them 5 years to marry :@
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Ted,
Maybe his time will come too!! You know what these women are like these days!! ...hahaha!!
David....
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Blimey! Just been chatting on QQ with my lady for 3 hours. We covered a hell of a lot of ground in that time. Hopes, fears, worries, the future, our marriage, language, computers, Zhangjiajie, children, other people's opinions, family, life in England, cartoons.
Not to say we haven't discussed this before, but not in such concentrated doses. It was honest, serious, and heavy stuff from both sides, but we both felt much better having cleared the air and felt closer to each other in terms of understanding and affection.
You can keep your scantily-clad Changsha hotties. Nothing beats my beautiful, honest, Changsha fiancee. Her honesty is sexier than any flowered-up EMF.
She still worries about most everything. We met a couple at the Changsha marriage registry in December, a hot-headed Jordanian man and his Chinese wife. Apparently, this woman told my lady that she didn't think our marriage would last. Well, I reminded my fiancee that she didn't know us, and that ours was the most important opinion, and that I don't care what strangers think. She agreed with me. I also told her that my parents are from different countries, speaking different languages when they met (French and English), and that this year they will celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary, and that I believe that our marriage will be like theirs.
I feel like we've turned a corner
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Now that's the way it should be Philip. Like you said nothing beats it.
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50 years wow Philip congrats to them for that. my parents made it 44 years
but my dads passing is what stopped it from going further. its been 10 years since then
so they would have been appraoching 54 years this year.
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My parents made 63 years before my dad passed. BTW My mom just turned 88 yo ? is that a lucky year?
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88 i beleive is a lucky number here in china or i should say 8
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When I sent her BD card I said in China it is very lucky. Which in a way nudged her. She looks at me strange when I talk of China, she thinks I won't come back?
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when are you planning on returning Vince?
what city?
coming near Guangzhou?
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My first trip is still on the drawing board. It may be around June? There's to much legal mumbo jumbo going on so I'm waiting on them. Each month since October I was told 6 months for all to clear? Same thing said in Nov, Dec, Jan? Waiting on the court paperwork and then I have something solid to plan on.
I will be going to Shenyang at first but planning on traveling everywhere I could. Depends on length of stay? A month? 2, Not come back?
Adding on here, I hope to go to Guangzhou for a business adventure. There are two reasons for going to China. The lady and business.
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i see well try a trip to Guangzhou and i will show you and your lady around
the area for a few days if you can stay that long here
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I already gave mention to my lady about maybe meeting with others when I'm there? I forgot her exact words but she kind of thought I would leave her sitting somewhere and leave? I assured her this wouldn't happen. She hasn't traveled much, as a child she went to Guangzhou. She stays within Shenyang. So the travel will be an adventure for both of us at the same time. Sort of like learning together.
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well looking forward to seeing you two here if you make it