China Romance
General Discussion and Useful Links => Newbies Corner => Topic started by: Paul Todd on June 30, 2010, 07:17:17 am
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Not appreciating cultural differences can really put a strain on the best of international relationships. So with that in mind here are some traditional differences in dining etiquette between the Chinese and the rest of us.
In China:
1. It is polite to slurp your soup loudly at a meal, to not do so is to insult the cook by suggesting you don't like the soup.
2. It is impolite to touch your food with your fingers except in rare circumstances, and it is very rude to touch your fingers to your mouth, no matter how irritating that thread of pig gut, octopus tendril or snake belly that has wedged itself firmly between your teeth has become.
3. Likewise it is impolite to visibly pick your teeth with a toothpick, and you must cover this action with your other hand to hide what you are doing from public view.
4. It is polite to eat from the communal plate with your chopsticks, and impolite to use a separate serving utensil to scoop a private portion for yourself (a growing recognition of the health concerns to be associated with everyone eating off the same plate is causing some change of attitude lately).
5. No matter that the conversation has been gong on for over an hour and all the food has gone cold and developed a crust, no matter that your stomach is growling with hunger pangs, do not be the first to reach out and grab a morsel of food. That honor is reserved for someone else. You will know who when he (it is invariably a "he") reaches out and delicately takes the first bite, causing everyone else to burst into joyful feasting.
6. No matter how annoying you may find it, your Chinese wife or girlfriend will want to constantly feed you, from her chopsticks to your mouth, with little morsels from the communal plates. It does not matter if you just stuffed an entire chicken breast in your mouth and you are almost suffocating trying to chew it into submission, she is determined to add that piece of fish to the mix, so make room, or you will cause her to lose face in front of her family or friends.
7. Take equal portions from each communal dish, trying not to show a preference for any one dish over the other, and try to take whatever piece is most readily available, avoiding the appearance of trying to nab the best morsel.
8. Don't add soy sauce or salt or anything else to a communal dish - you will greatly offend the cook!
9. Apparently it is polite for everyone to speak at the top of their voice and at at the same time while dining in a restaurant, at least judging by the large Chinese restaurants I've attended.
10. At large gatherings the drinking of spirits is frequently an important aspect of the event. Almost invariably the drink of choice is Bai ju, which is not wine but a kind of distilled rice alcohol, varying in potency from about 35% to as high as 90% alcohol. Many Westerners detest it but I think it is fair to say you need to develope a taste for it, much like whiskey in our culture. Now more and more, beer seems to be an acceptable replacement or at least a companion to the Chinese White Spirit. On these occasions you should not drink alone, but must find someone to toast or be toasted by so that you are always drinking your drink in accompaniment with someone else. At many Chinese gatherings the Chinese men will take turns toasting with you. Luckily, if you are an average Western male, your drinking prowess will outweigh theirs so at the end of the meal the drinking contest will be a draw, much to their surprise.
11. Your toast can be as simple as a mutual nod, but frequently it is expressed with the words "Gam Bei" said as we might say "Cheers", which means bottoms up or empty your glass. You are not required to empty your glass, but you both increase the strength of the toast and impress your new Chinese friends if you do.
12. It is okay to smoke during your meal and impolite to suggest that someone shouldn't.
13. Dining is the single most popular social and recreational event in China, and from the start when your host discusses his order for seeming hours in the finest of detail with the waitress. To the finish when everyone slowly rises and says there individual goodbyes to everyone else in the room, it will seem to you to have lasted for about a week, but in truth it will only be about 3 hours. No matter how strong your inclination is to pretend to go to the bathroom and then just go hang out at the bar for a couple of hours, resist it. You will cost your new Chinese lady an incredible loss of face. Besides, there is no bar and you'll just get lost looking for it and ultimately causing yourself considerable loss of face too .
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I think it funny that any and all bodily functions (burp, fart, spit, etc) is all acceptable but to pick your teeth with a toothpick is disgusting?
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I think it funny that any and all bodily functions (burp, fart, spit, etc) is all acceptable but to pick your teeth with a toothpick is disgusting?
I think that list is outdated. :) That or chinese outside of China observe a few different traditions...
1) Being in a restaurant, most people don't really slurp things loudly, but they do show that they're enjoying the food (talking about how good it tastes and whatnot)... Some do slurp, but slurping too loudly isn't exactly a polite thing to do either.
2) Depending on the food, it's perfectly fine to eat with your fingers...or chopsticks or both...
4) If there is a separate serving utensil (chopsticks/spoons/forks), use that to get a portion for yourself. If there isn't, another method is to flip your chopsticks around (upsidedown) and use that as a serving utensil. Just make sure you don't put that part in your mouth... This is for hygienic purposes. And considering the high frequency of diseases we've encountered over the last decade, a good idea.
5) Forget this...if you're the first one, offer a portion of the food to the head of the table...or the guest if you are the head of the table.
8) That's right...do it to your own dish... the others don't need to know why you put enough hotsauce to kill the taste. ;D
9) ???
10) Don't know about the rest of you, but not drinking alcohol is also an option. I'm not big on regular drinking and most people will respect you for that... Although at that high a concentration of alcohol, you will kill any bacteria...
11) Gam bei is in putonghua (mandarin)... yam booi is in guangdonghua (cantonese)... Just in case you need it.
Just a few thoughts... :P
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To add to the list ...
- at the end of the meal, don't be surprise to see people grab the leftovers to take home. Sometimes, they'll stuff everything in a plastic bag. I have even seen cloth towels and chopsticks taken.
- it's okay to spit your bones on the table next to your plate.
- the most senior person starts the meal or is offered the first portion.
- here in Kaiping, if you invite someone for dim sum lunch at 10 am, don't be surprise that they don't show up till 11 am or 12 noon. You just go ahead and eat and they'll order themselves when they come.
- at the private rooms here, they always turn on the tv.
- diners always rinse/wash the utensils and plates, bowls & cups with the tea.
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I think it funny that any and all bodily functions (burp, fart, spit, etc) is all acceptable but to pick your teeth with a toothpick is disgusting?
Ok, now I have been surfing this forum for what, 6 months now, and never saw mention of "farting". I have been worried about this because I can have some wicked ones at times of change of diet. I am glad to see that it is concidered acceptable to fart. :o ;D :o 8)
Dave C
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just dont pick your teeth were everyone can see Bee and you will be ok
still amazing as to the others that are accepted
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Great list, and very current. Was part of them all. The only one i can add: you can not put your chop sticks down before the #1 person does. Translated, you keep eating until the person who started the meal, puts his chopsticks down and delcares he is full. And if you are like myself and drink very little, it is ok for your wife to take your portion of the 53% alchol drink, to keep you from loosing face.
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I had read somewhere that when you toast someone, and "clink" glasses, the lip of your cup should be below the lip of the hosts cup...shows respect I guess.
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So many do's and dont's :-\
... you can not put your chop sticks down before the #1 person does. Translated, you keep eating until the person who started the meal, puts his chopsticks down and delcares he is full.
This is one I noticed when I was there..
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the best way is to just be yourself and you will entertain all guests lol!!!!
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One other thing...although this is just me... Please PLEASE do not put dirty chopsticks on the linen....if they provide you with a chopstick stand, please use it.
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Wow, linen and chopstick stands,
You must eat in some fancy restaurants my friend. In the ones I go to over here its wipe clean plastic on the tables and your lucky to get that!
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Well, if you're doing the dive thing, it's still better than placing the eating chopsticks on the dishes instead of the table...the dishes are usually cleaned...I don't think they hose down the tables.... ;D
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HA HA your right,
In some of the restaurants I eat at it's the customers that should be hosed down first! Saying that I love these places, lots of noodle slurping and shouting, burping and the rest of it. Throw those chicken bones on the floor, who cares! The Chinese know how to enjoy a good meal with friends laughing ,drinking and backslapping even a bit of singing if your lucky! I'm not too fond of the private rooms I always have a much better time in the "public "area's. It makes such a change from eating in posh English places where you have to worry about which fork to use.
I was in a fish restaurant in Beijing a few weeks ago and it had a huge fish tank in the middle of the dinning room with all the tables arranged around it. Nothing unusual there I thought, very pleasant sitting eating your food and watching potential meals swimming by. That was until the two girls with mermaid tails got into the tank and started diving and swimming about. I have to say it got my attention. After all its not everyday you see Chinese mermaids!
China is too wonderful to get uptight about.
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i agree it is to much fun and entertaining at times to control yourself now chinese mermaids is something i would like to see
did you get pics of that Paul?? that would have been cool. someone told me when i get to bejing to go to the hooters to see
some great looking women why? all you have to do is get a snack go to the local park and just sit and watch lol!!!! im more interested in the everyday course of life events that you see.
i even saw my first graffitti in gz a while back which i should have taken a pic of because it was gone the next day
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i agree it is to much fun and entertaining at times to control yourself now chinese mermaids is something i would like to see
did you get pics of that Paul?? that would have been cool. someone told me when i get to bejing to go to the hooters to see
some great looking women why? all you have to do is get a snack go to the local park and just sit and watch lol!!!! im more interested in the everyday course of life events that you see.
i even saw my first graffitti in gz a while back which i should have taken a pic of because it was gone the next day
You wanna see Mermaids Ted, well you can see them right there in GZ!
Go to the zoo (not Chimelong one) and the aqua park has mermaids swimming around with the fish, pretty cool!
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i will have to check that out when i return to GZ
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That has got to be one of the funnest jobs ever
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It's amazing to me too that with some of their unusual etiquette that using the toothpick improperly is considered rude or impolite. I used to cover my mouth but after awhile I said to heck with this and use the toothpick like I always do. I follow most etiquette, but on some things I think screw it I'm American and I'm doing it my way. The toothpick thing I'm defiant on lol.
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HA HA your right,
In some of the restaurants I eat at it's the customers that should be hosed down first! Saying that I love these places, lots of noodle slurping and shouting, burping and the rest of it. Throw those chicken bones on the floor, who cares! The Chinese know how to enjoy a good meal with friends laughing ,drinking and backslapping even a bit of singing if your lucky! I'm not too fond of the private rooms I always have a much better time in the "public "area's. It makes such a change from eating in posh English places where you have to worry about which fork to use.
I was in a fish restaurant in Beijing a few weeks ago and it had a huge fish tank in the middle of the dinning room with all the tables arranged around it. Nothing unusual there I thought, very pleasant sitting eating your food and watching potential meals swimming by. That was until the two girls with mermaid tails got into the tank and started diving and swimming about. I have to say it got my attention. After all its not everyday you see Chinese mermaids!
China is too wonderful to get uptight about.
Why do I get the vision of the food fight scene in National Lampoon's "Animal House" in my mind as I am reading this thread? :o ??? 8)
Dave C
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Dave,
no food fights in China they wouldnt waste the food lol!!!! im like you Jeff i just use the toothpick
the same as i did in usa to hell with it
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the spitting at the table is what gets me lol!!!
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and the putting of cigs out on the floor