China Romance
General Discussion and Useful Links => Ask An Experienced Member => Topic started by: Lain on July 21, 2010, 07:32:28 pm
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Ok, so I am a younger guy here...under 40, and lately I have been spending allot of time reading the China News Daily. Not too long ago I was reading an article about some popular dating show there that seems to have struck a nerve among the Chinese government and the older folks there over "Moral Values"
Here is the short story...A female contestant was asked something along the lines of....Which would you choose.
1) Crying in the backseat of a wealthy boyfriends BMW car in a loveless relationship
2) Smiling and being happy on the backseat of your poor boyfriends bike.
So she quickly sad that she would take the wealthy boyfriend as she would rather be in the BMW and his wealth was more important than happiness. As suspected many people decried the lack of any moral values of a women that only cares about wealth and the shows producers were actually taken to task for promotion of negative moral values in society....which I find very ironic as it seams that the government is heavily promoting this idea that wealth and consumerism is equal to the definition of success.
Ok, so now a few days later I was on a blog...sorry cant find it again, where the same subject was being discussed and they referred to a poll that was taken amongst a large group of young ladies under 30 and the results were shocking in that almost 65% of the ladies also felt that a man with money was more important than personal happiness.....OMG!!! :o
Now here I am seeking a lady in roughly the same age group and I am forced to look at this information and consider the fact that I have a 50/50 chance that every lady I meet will fake. lie, or whatever just for a chance to have a "good life" handed to her....so what is a younger man like to think? If I wanted a pet..I would get a dog. The blog mentioned the one child policy as one major reason for this mentality and that since the parents only have one child they spoil it and it has lead to a massive amount of selfish young adults that only care about their desires and not much else.
Sadly my lady and I have had some serious "conversations" lately over her sometimes major lack of thought for her actions, and she openly admits that even her own friends call her selfish....and on my last visit she did demonstrate this reality by showing up 2 hours late to one of our dates and did not even have an explanation...other than she was sorry to be late, thats it!
So....whats a guy to do?
Oh, and given the rapid rate of divorce in China lately...does anyone know what the policy is about how marital assets are divided in China? I mean if I get married and live there, buy an apartment and say a car...does she get to lay claim to it like here in the US?.....I do not like to think such things, but the facts are what they are and it seams that in the younger ladies...Materialism Rules.
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Lain,
I would be a little cautious with a woman that shows up 2 hours late without an explination. The woman that I went to Singapore to meet wanted me to buy her an expensive gift after showing up 11 hours late for our date. I told her no! and that was it for us. I guess that I should say that she is 50 years old too. Even the older ones can be gold diggers.
Dave C
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Lain,
I would be a little cautious with a woman that shows up 2 hours late without an explination. The woman that I went to Singapore to meet wanted me to buy her an expensive gift after showing up 11 hours late for our date. I told her no! and that was it for us. I guess that I should say that she is 50 years old too. Even the older ones can be gold diggers.
Dave C
To her credit, she is otherwise a very nice lady and she did have to travel from Xiaolan to my hotel by bus, which is about a 30 minute or so ride...but yes, I was to say the least a bit upset and while I did not say anything then..it was part of a conversation we had when she asked me why I kept asking so many questions about "being sincere" as I prepare to move there.....At least she admitted that she has a tendency to be selfish and otherwise she has NEVER asked for money or anything. In fact she was low on money once and had her internet connection disconnected, when I offered to send her some money to get it hooked back up so we could continue our chats...she refused to take my money.
Maybe she is just saving up for a big ticket item??..but seriously she does know my income and while its not that great here in the US ($3800 a month) thats a damn good living there at about 25,000 RMB a month...and that is only what I pay myself as I am self employed. I also fully fund my SOLO-401K and allow my company to pick up many "expenses" that make my income go that much further.
In your case....11 hours late!!! I would not even bothered to open the door as I would have been out on the town looking for a stiff drink and some lady who is at least honest why she wants paid...if ya get my meaning. Sorry to hear that, its all a risk it seams no matter where you go?
My experience on my last trip to China is the main reason why I have simply chosen to move there. My thoughts are that she cannot fake it when I am there and if she is a gold digger than it will show..at which point I will put myself back in the mix and move on to the next of my 22 ladies who I have bookmarked as "potentials"....one by one I will find a lady who is sincere in the year I plan on being there....I hope?
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Lain according to my wife.About who gets what in a divorce.It all goes to the man.Now that is my wife's take on it.They have started to learn about the use of a good divorce lawyer.So have a independent translation of anything to do with a divorce.Or a business agreement.
I'm going to steal something I learned from Martin yesterday.While we were talking about a guy we know.Who is getting a divorce from a Chinese woman.If it does come to a divorce between you and the lady.Let her file for the divorce..When you receive the divorce papers.Roll them up and smoke it.Wipe the dirty dishes with it.Whatever you want to do.Just don't sign it.After I think it's ninety days.The divorce is legal in China.With out your signature.It is extremely easy to get a divorce in China.I'm going to repeat this.THIS ONLY WORKS IN CHINA.If the divorce is in your country.She is going to drag you threw the ringer.A couple of times.Just for her amusement
About the girl on the program.Yes that is a typical answer for a Chinese girl of that age bracket.20 to 30 who has never ben married.Who has never had a serious relationship.They have done nothing and seen nothing about life.And she thinks there is no tomorrow.So she thinks this is the way to go.
Think of the teenage prom queen in the states. who let her boyfriend knock her up.She is all excited to be a woman and pregnant.9 months done the rd she's sick all the time.she looks like a walking house.And her so called boyfriend.has ran off and is now sticking it to Mary Jane.from down the street.It is about this time.The prom Queen learns that there is a tomorrow.And life has slapped the living hell out of her.
It is the about the same thing with the one child princess.One day they wake up they realize there looks are starting to fade.There rich husband has a new younger girl friend.And for the last 10 years they have had a miserable life.With the beatings the cheating.The lieing.So they get a divorce in China and end up with maybe a little house.And a couple of kids.That thiere dad never bothers to take for a while.since the one child princess.Has to go to work now.
Just a side note 9 out of 10 times.The man will take the male child.Unless the man doesn't want to deal with it.It goes back to Chinese customs.That when the couple marry.The new wife goes to the mans family.If it is a girl Child.The mother will usually end up with it.The man and his new girlfriend can try for a boy.
Your date being 2 hours late.It was a test to see if she could get away with it.To assert that she has more face then you.If it was me I would of made her cry.And sent her on her way.For even trying to pull something like that on me.She would of Ben back in a couple of days.If she didn't have anybody else on the hook.If she did have somebody else on the hook.And didn't make it back.It wouldn't of Ben.A great lose.Come on this is China.A European walking down the road attracts.Beautiful girls.Like a bee to honey
Take Chong and Martin for example.Those 2 are so ugly that they have faces.Only there mothers could love.They both have met and Married beautiful Chinese ladies.Of course I had to pay Zhifang and Sunny's parents allot of money.And there was allot of crying and wailing.From there ladies.But I got the deal done :P
You shouldn't have any trouble at all meeting a quality lady in China.
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From my understanding of how marital assets are divided if you get divorced here is that you keep every thing that was yours before you where married but everything after that point is split between you.Generally the wife gets screwed in any Chinese divorce but you are a foreigner so..................................Take Maxx's advice!
If you are moving here then I'm sure you will have many ladies who would like to meet you,my friend.
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i agree with that comment, if living here you will find many women who would want to get to know you
first hand. that would eliminate many of the problems or doubts that occur with long distance. but go into it with
an open mind as yes there are many spoiled, princesses here which are a direct result from the 1 child policy. just
have to weed thru them.
but i think as Dave said age is not the guideline to use for that as they come in all shapes and sizes. you just have to
be careful.
my first was 46 but of course the signs were there i just had blinders on. so up until this one i questioned and asked everything
and if they went away i moved on. now im were i am at and things seem ok with just the regular culture problems that pop
up at times or the misunderstanding of words or thoughts that need to be dealt with differently. remember just because they speak
english doesnt mean they understand everything.
good luck with everything hope it all works out
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All good advice brothers...You never like to think the worst, but it NEVER hurts to plan for it!!
While I have some serious concerns over my lady, I am willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and see how it goes once I am living there. Then we shall see. The sad part (for me) is that I would be fine with her being a gold digger if she admits it, and understands that as soon as I learn to live there and get a decent grasp of the language that I would seek a real women.....I figure that its a fair deal for say a couple years?
In all seriousness I really don't think I could, but she is really an incredible lady and I hope to god she is the real deal...but I have that itch in the back of my mind that will not go away. :-\
Lately I have been driving home the message that while I CAN give her a good life, she will not just be handed a free ride and that life is a two way street. She has shown some frustration with me as I have been asking her all sorts of questions about what she desires from a relationship and her future. To her credit again, she does not desire to move to America and is more than willing to take English classes. I feel bad sometimes about giving her the 3rd degree and a few times she has voiced her displeasure with me.
I usually get the response now that once I am there she will help me understand and open up some as I have a hard time getting her to tell me about her life......we will see I guess. Think I will take some more time to look into divorce situations. If I get married it will be there as I have almost no family here except my brother and his family so it makes little sense to come here and spend the money on travel. Besides if all goes well I will not be coming back to the states for any reasons that I can think of............just too many lovely ladies in China, and way too many fat, lazy good for nothing tramps in the states to waste my time with.
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You losme on the divorce piece Maxx. my wifesist husband let her 14 years ago. She never ageed to a divorce and never signed any papers. That is until I came along. She then asked husband number 1 for a divorce which he agreed. and that enabled him to marry the women he had lived with for the past 14 years.
As I see it both parties have to agree to a divorce before one can be granted if one hold out then a divorce cannot be given.
What that what you were saying as well.
Willy
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In the case where a divorce has been filed, If the other party does not respond to the papers that were sent to him or her, the divorce will automatically be granted after 90 days.
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Willy what Martin said.Is what I ment.Are information came from.A chinese lawyer.So we think it is reliable.
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going into a marriage and looking at the divorce proceedings is not a good thing.
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Lain
I do not wish to sound critical, but you sound as though you expect it to fail and are indeed making preparations for such. She is of course pushing the boundaries as any child will, until they find the hard boudary. From your descriptions, she sounds somewhat childlike.
In the end, I think you will get what you expect. We men often overlook compatability for beauty. Then when it fails, we struggle to figure out why or blame the lady totally.
Going by what you have said in some of your other threads, I do not believe that you will be happy with this lady in any long term scenario. There is someone there better suited to you and maybe you should not be so single minded over this one.
This is just my opinion, take it for what it is. I have no doubt you will press further before giving this one a miss.
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on my last visit she did demonstrate this reality by showing up 2 hours late to one of our dates and did not even have an explanation...other than she was sorry to be late, thats it!
Lain you seem like a smart guy to me but this sends up flags waving everywhere. She is very pretty looking at your avatar, you need to keep your brains in your head and not your pants.
My Sunny would never ever turn up two hours late without making sure i understood why in intricate detail (I'd get updates every few minutes on the mobile unless that wasn't possible) .
And don't you dare play the "we are so tight we dont need excuses" card...you are not there unless you are in Deludedville.
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also why wouldnt she open up now about her life?? you are talking about moving 8600 miles to
be with her. there are things you need to know and should be known now not later.
maybe this is because she is young? little immature were this is concerned
irishman---deludedville????? what is that
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funny Mike now i get it!!!
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Lain
I do not wish to sound critical, but you sound as though you expect it to fail and are indeed making preparations for such. She is of course pushing the boundaries as any child will, until they find the hard boudary. From your descriptions, she sounds somewhat childlike.
In the end, I think you will get what you expect. We men often overlook compatability for beauty. Then when it fails, we struggle to figure out why or blame the lady totally.
Going by what you have said in some of your other threads, I do not believe that you will be happy with this lady in any long term scenario. There is someone there better suited to you and maybe you should not be so single minded over this one.
This is just my opinion, take it for what it is. I have no doubt you will press further before giving this one a miss.
I do find this post to be somewhat ignorant of the facts. Yes she is young (so am I), yes she is very beautiful...but no I am not only interested in her for her looks...and to infer that I am is way off base. If I were so shallow than I would not waste my time here asking about Chinese gold-diggers now would I ????
The reality is that we only met for a short period (4 times) over the 2 weeks that I was there. We have spent the past 7 months writing letters and for the most part its gone really good. Its only been over the past few weeks that the reality of my moving there has begun to make us BOTH take a serious hard look at our relationship and ask some serious questions....that need to be asked, and dealt with. Its easy to talk nice and be all cute when were half way around the world from each other...problems will arise when the reality of being a mile or so away happens and we both have to actually make an effort to have a real relationship crossing all the language, cultural and many other barriers. She is under 30 and I am sure that she is NOT an "experienced" lady when it come to having a serious relationship....much less with a foreigner.
Opening up about her personal life, as it was explained is somewhat due again to the fact that she is a single young lady living on her own and she does not feel that here life is so special that its worth talking about...She says her life is simple, she goes to work, pays the bills....etc. She has told me many things about her life....I just ask questions that she does not seem to understand why I ask them...like what she is eating for dinner or if she had a good day at work...she is just not used to having anyone care about what she calls "trivial things"
Does she have some maturity issues to deal with...I would say yes, but to her credit when I chastised her for being late and a few other things recently that had me questioning her sincerity about our relationship....she did not make up some BS lie, or tell me some sob story like I have heard from other ladies..She took responsibility, simply admitted that she has an issue with being a little selfish, stated that her rudeness was a major mistake and wrote me a sincere apology....To admit such a caricature flaw shows that she is at very least honest with herself and me...that says allot about her personality from my perspective.
To draw a full conclusion about her ONLY from the few snips of details that I have asked about here on this forum is pretty arrogant to say the least...as you have not read the over 100 letters we have exchanged or any of the other details that I have NEVER mentioned here. I know that the odds are massively stacked against me, and there will be many problems. This is why I have chosen to move there, so that I can be on the ground experiencing it for myself. Learning the actual culture, gaining a grasp on the language and what its really like to live there. If she is BS'n me I will know in short order and as I said, I will move ahead to any of the other ladies I have found that are bookmarked living in the Zhongshan area. But I am also not one who gives up so quickly that I am willing to allow a few problems or misunderstandings to trash what has otherwise been a good relationship. Maybe if some of you made more of an effort rather than taking the "My way or the highway" attitude you would not be on your 8th or more relationship trying to find the right lady to kiss your ass.
I ask about these questions because I am a cautious person by nature and like to be prepared...hence the reason why I posted in the "Ask An Experienced Member" section so I can get some realistic answers to my questions, not insults of being ignorant, in denial, or any other number of other comments made.
Also I asked about divorce as I read a recent post of a member here who is having to deal with that...and since I have never before considered the legalities, it was a legitimate question to ask...But once again to automatically infer that I was curious JUST because of my lady and some concerns I have is simply jumping to erroneous conclusions. I am a person who actually takes the time to educate myself of the reality of the world I am going to be living in soon..if your not that type of person who plans ahead, than it may go along way towards explaining why some of you guys have such a negative tone when talking about your experiences....you cant play the game when you don't know the rules, and while I always hope for the best...I am smart enough to plan for the worst.
Lets get real here, this is a communist country where the rules of law are NOT like they are in the states and it would be completely irresponsible to simply go over there to play family and act like everything works like it does back home.
Sorry of you think I am overboard on my reply, but seriously if your going to act like an ass, jump to wild conclusions and insult me expect to get it back. If you can address the question in a respectable manner and offer some words of advice than I greatly appreciate your time and efforts.
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I am glad you said something because I would have not been as nice as you were.
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Lain my 2 cents being a younger guy, and meeting many different younger women in person, the ones I have met that do not give face by attempting to connect with you, you seriously need to avoid. Maybe sending her away will make her see the reality of what she is facing with you, or just leaving, and I have done this on several dates. Some girls do see a western guy and think $$ thats reality.
Then there is the 24 hour rule, and trust your gut, if it feels insecure and stupid, it probably wont be fixed.
In almost 2 years I have spent a total of 5 months in and out of China looking for the right girl, and on business. The advice the guys here like Martin, Arnold, Maxx so on and so forth is always sound.
Since you are moving, you will find that one special girl, even if it is the one you are currently speaking, you'll know it instantly then commit 110%
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I have been reading up on this "face" issue and as best as I can surmise its not unlike the Alpha-Male assertion in pack dog behavior. Kind of a crude comparison, but on its surface its about defining who is "really" in charge. This is a new concept for me as I am the type of person who would like to assume that a relationship is an equal deal....but I am not naive either. Very possible that her lateness was a test as has been mentioned...she admits that it was a mistake, so to me that means it was intentional.
Once I have an apartment there and can assert myself with some sort of credibility than I do think this "face game" will take on a whole other tone. Last week I also let her know that if she does not take me serious and reply to my letters with direct answers to my question that I will start talking to other ladies BEFORE I move there. I have already noticed a change in the tone of her letters.
I also let her know that I will not tolerate the type of behavior that I have mentioned her....like being late, or selfish actions designed to provoke or test my patience. Being younger and less experienced with dating and western culture I think (hope) that some of this is simply her doing what her culture and generation understand.....we will see? I am a tolerant person...to a point.
Some of the advice given is by men who are most notably older, divorced and are currently in relations with ladies who are the same and if its one thing that clearly stood out as I observed on my trip to China...its that there is a HUGE generational divide amongst the people 30 and younger versus the older generation. Prosperity has been much better to the younger generation and with that...it has brought about a much different way of thinking as these younger ones have not lived through some of the hardships that the older folks have been forced to endure. I honestly believe that in the case of relationships, marriage and family that there are a new "set of rules" to learn about and apply with the under 30 ladies.
Thanks for you advice....minus the insults.
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Lain we all wish you best, you wont find another group of men anywhere that understand what you are doing (to various degrees i suppose), don't loose sight of that.
Nobody has all the answers (except Maxx who is beyond help!), we all have to figure out our own path, now and again we stray off it and need someone else to say "hey..are you sure that the right way?", but at the end of the day its your call and your life and I certainly respect that as I'm certain the rest of us do.
Sometimes its easier to see things from a distance than right close up, think of a Monet painting!
Sometimes the advice is right sometimes its gonna send you in circles, just try to keep a calm head and you will know right from wrong without emotions getting everything stirred up inside.
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I do find this post to be somewhat ignorant of the facts. Yes she is young (so am I), yes she is very beautiful...but no I am not only interested in her for her looks...and to infer that I am is way off base. If I were so shallow than I would not waste my time here asking about Chinese gold-diggers now would I ????
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Sorry of you think I am overboard on my reply, but seriously if your going to act like an ass, jump to wild conclusions and insult me expect to get it back. If you can address the question in a respectable manner and offer some words of advice than I greatly appreciate your time and efforts.
I apologise if you feel that I insulted you.
Firstly, I did not say your lady was childish nor a child, but "somewhat childlike" and my reference was to a particular part of her behaviour that you were disturbed about, that is, pushing your boundaries to see what you would tolerate. I did not mean to imply that she had a childish personality overall. I had used a common example of children pushing boundaries to explain her behaviour at the time. It just meant that as you have also concluded, that in certain areas, she has maturity issues. I certainly did not imply that you were childish in any way.
I also said that in the end, I think you will get what you expect. Your expectations do not seem that high. After 7 months of letters, then finally seeing her, only just over a week ago, you wrote "As for marriage....well, that's still the big question and while that is the ultimate goal, I am still not so sure that she is the one ~ but I do hope." You also asked about divorce settlements at this stage. I understand your legal concerns, but what I said was part of a few comments, not just that one. What your expectations are is entirely up to you.
Also, I did not say nor imply that you were shallow. 99.99% of men look at physical beauty first and personality second. I specifically used the word "we" here. It is just what we are. This does not mean that we ignore personality. People have multifold motivations for most things. No one is interested in anything for "just one reason", Psych 101. But heck man, she is drop dead gorgeous. I don't believe you haven't noticed that. As men, we tend to give much more leaway to a beautiful woman than others. This is not a disparagement on you, just biology at work.
I also said: "There is someone there better suited to you and maybe you should not be so single minded over this one." You yourself have threatened your lady with this yourself. "Last week I also let her know that if she does not take me serious and reply to my letters with direct answers to my question that I will start talking to other ladies BEFORE I move there." I should have however preceded my statement with "I believe" and I apologise for not doing so.
I stated my opinion that in the long run I do not feel you will be happy with her. That is still my opinion based upon what you have said. I also said that you would continue to persue her. You have indicated a tenacity and persistence in your personality, so I was just stating the obvious here. Again, no insult whatsoever. You yourself agree that persisting is a positive trait. As for my arrogance, well that is so. But it comes after years of accurate predictions about relationships even when only a tiny amount of information is available. You can be the proof of my error. I will be happy with that. :D No one likes to see others unhappy unless they are sadistic.
I wish you only the best.
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a lot of the behavior,wants, desires, of the younger generation i think has evolved from the 1 child poilicy that has
created a generation of spoiled children who have been dotted upon all their life. now this is not meant to be a bad
comment nor is it meant that all are like that , but i see that it has developed a very different thinking generation that
has to be dealt with and understood differently than what some of us older guys have encountered
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Its all good gentleman....I am a bit stressed over this move for more reasons than just my relationship. This will be the first time I have chosen to up and move my companies NOC (network operations center) and while I have remotely operated while on vacation many times, I have always had the convenience of coming home to solve any issues. Once I am there...that is it, my company and my sole source of income are at stake so I am on edge....sorry if I over-reacted, just under allot of stress and was seeking support, not insults. Normally I am not like this.
As for my lady and her looks...well honestly her chnlove pictures are sort of lame by comparison to what I know she looks like now. It was only after we had wrote several times that she started to send me all sorts of pictures of her that I really began to understand she was freaking beautiful....by then I had already begun to like her based on what she had to say. So it was NOT her beauty that first sparked my interest in her.
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I would be a liar though if I said that I do not give her some extra leeway because she is well, fine....but as I have said, my patience does have limits and I am looking for a serious relationship. I also understand that as in ANY long distance / multi-cultural relationship it will take lots of work, and even more patience than would otherwise be required....she has demonstrated an amazing amount of tolerance with me for what could only be called "ignorance" on many issues where communication and cultural differences have occurred.
To be honest I am new at all this, she is the first lady I have gone to see...not the first I have wrote too. My trip to China was also my first and to be very honest I was overwhelmed by the ENTIRE experience.....especially the travelers diarrhea which really sucked BAD!! So to be fair, I was not really aware of situation all the time.....I was really just happy to be there with her. I have made the choice to move for several reasons, but honestly I cannot see any other way to continue or develop our relationship unless I move there...so off I am going and we will see how it goes. Maybe I am a little delusional ?? But honestly I can see no better choice than to pack my bags and move, because sooner or later it will come to this whether its with her...or another lady and if I am to operate my company from abroad than now is the time to do it as I am almost at the next stage of my business where it will grow almost 10 fold when the latest system rolls out and I move into multiple markets that I have not operated in yet.
Again gents....sorry for the attitude...just a bit edgy, stressed....and to be very honest really looking forward to being in her arms again. ;)
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Lain,
visiting China and living here are two totally different things, relax make your plans and move in the
most seemless and uneventful way that you can. when you start living here then you can stress each
day with the many many strange things and events you will see and hear each day. but as you are here
at least you will be with someone who will grow with you each day and help you to understand all the
many things that you will see that are totally different to what your accustomed to seeing or doing. especially
in a city like Zhongshan which is quite different from a bigger city here in China. but it think in time you will relax
and really enjoy the life here as it is quite a nice life. if one adapts well to all the other nuances that you encounter.
and dont take some of the postings to heart so much, take it from someone who has lived in China and has seen
it first hand and had to make those adjustments.
and when you land in Zhongshan get a shirt made up with "im the other western man" so the locals dont get you mixed up with the other westerner living there 'Willy' will save you some explaining lol!!!!!
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They will not mix us up. I am well into Chinese life now. I rarely eat anything western. I have even cut coffee down to one a day. the rest is water. I no longer look for toilets when I am out just the nearest alleyway. . Although never in restuarants, yet, I can gob with teh best of them. I automatically squash my used water bottles and slip it in the sack waiting for the collection and a few rmb in the hand.
I explain that every this is Tie Quilla - dont know the wordsto write but definately know how to say them.
When we get to uk for holiday next month I will be lost.
Willy
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your suppoesed to blend the two cultures not let yours go by the wayside thats not good
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I guess the best way to avoid gold diggers is to have no money! All the money I have have gone to traveling for the past few years, both Thailand and China, and being a student I have very little means. My lady knows this. I was very clear from the beginning that ladies seeking guys with money had better turn elsewhere. Maybe they did since me and my lady rarely talk about money at all and no matter what coming to Sweden will be an upgrade for her materialistic wise. Being fair, though, there are lots of girls in the West looking for the BBD all the time as well...
Now, if you do have money, don't necessarily tell girls about it every two minutes (I know we men like to show ladies how much money we have, try to avoid it). 8)
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absolutely DO NOT FLASH MONEY thats asking for the unusually high requests from the family. just claim poor
it has worked for me so far.
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M Ambassador I HAVE NEVER EVER BEEN A FLASHER. Had to shout that so everyone heard it.
Willy
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willy??????????????????
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Lain,
visiting China and living here are two totally different things, relax make your plans and move in the
most seemless and uneventful way that you can. when you start living here then you can stress each
day with the many many strange things and events you will see and hear each day. but as you are here
at least you will be with someone who will grow with you each day and help you to understand all the
many things that you will see that are totally different to what your accustomed to seeing or doing. especially
in a city like Zhongshan which is quite different from a bigger city here in China. but it think in time you will relax
and really enjoy the life here as it is quite a nice life. if one adapts well to all the other nuances that you encounter.
and dont take some of the postings to heart so much, take it from someone who has lived in China and has seen
it first hand and had to make those adjustments.
and when you land in Zhongshan get a shirt made up with "im the other western man" so the locals dont get you mixed up with the other westerner living there 'Willy' will save you some explaining lol!!!!!
I am not stressing over the how to live part..in fact part of my trip there was actually going to the grocery store and finding my way around as I would of I was to live there....In fact I think once I am there I will find life actually really nice since I will no longer stress over the costs of living as I do here in the US....As for the food, well even if I cant order off the menu I like virtually everything to eat and I am not against eating any animal so long as it tastes good..so no matter what they bring me I will most likely eat it!
The stress is getting my business together, planning for worst case scenarios in the event that I have connection issues with my networks and the act of simply getting it all packed and shipped over. Heck just today I FINALLY finished going through 8 cases of old company documents and paperwork to either shred, place in storage...or pack to bring with me. Wished that I had optically imaged all those things as they came in over the years....maybe starting next year!
Also I am getting frustrated at the "systems" of either my government, or China's when it comes to getting real information and accurate documentation for issues ranging from tax laws, to marriage docs. I wish to have everything together before I am there so its a simple process when, or if the time comes that I will be required to have such documents but it seems that I will just have to gather everything I can and hope its enough.
Just to update everyone...My plane leaves October 1st at 6pm here, land at Los Angles LAX and take off for Guangzhou at 11pm. It was a rather weird route that I had never seen in my airfare searches but works out perfect for me as it will have me landing in China at 7am in the morning and it only has one stop in California.
As for the "western man" shirt....well I will be living in Xiaolan so to the best of my knowledge...I will be the only one?? When I walked all over for about 10 hours there I did not see another westerner of any sort. Even Jiong Li tells me that she rarely ever sees westerners in town and she knows of no others that live there. Well not much longer till the experience begins, so we will see?
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The "systems" of both countries are very frustrating. Seems like you are always in the dark. Makes it real hard to make a definite plan. You want to find out how to get something done, all you get are a lot of clues. Make plan A. then have plan B for every move, you will survive, it not as tough as it looks. But then I didn't move a business.
Retirement is pretty cool here and easy. I waited years for this job to open up.
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you will find in China plan A,B,C,D,E,F, is always needed because they are so so so disorganized
and unhelpful. there is now a push in Beijing for changes to made on this but it is probably years
away for us westerners